Spaniel Puppy Advice/Vent

Understandable to be gutted over having to rehome, puppies are undeniably exquisite but the realities of living with them, less so: I would never ever willingly own one again! Though any excuse to have a cuddle with someone else's puppy lol
It sounds like this is the best decision for everyone in the longterm albeit very sad in the short term for you. Huge kudos to you for taking on board advice and giving things a go even in the face of flack for having made a mistake...which let's face it, everyone has done, at some point, where animal ownership is concerned. I certainly have.
Hopefully you'll be able to keep in touch with him in his new, more spaniel-suited life.
 
CorvusCorax said:
I'm sorry but if I'm really confused by the swing between:

'Puppy is a nightmare and we have no room for a crate'
'Actually he's fine being left alone/doesn't cry/goes to sleep'
'We have all the gear now and everything is going great'
'We didn't actually start teaching him to be alone incrementally as advised repeatedly by multiple people and he's wrecked the place'

Then I have no idea how confused the dog must feel. None of this was going to be resolvable in a few weeks, to be fair.

I think moving him on is the best decision.
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I'm with you and quite frankly I have whiplash at the speed of these turnarounds.

It's not like me to post like this as I try to keep things constructive but I'm finding the timescale of all of this pretty shocking tbh.
 
GrassChop said:
We were lucky. He hadn't chewed anything he shouldn't have until yesterday but it was partly my fault for leaving some headphones too close to the edge of a cupboard! The cable was in pieces in less than 5 minutes.🙈 He also took a liking to the box of kindling so that was removed and also the fake lavender in a pot which was also removed. Luckily neighbour was on hand to go in and take it all away as I was at work and could see it all unfolding, downside to having a live stream of it! Today it was the blinds. All things I don't mind too much about as it can be replaced but I think it just hit OH that this can't work with him being left there. He's probably right.

My OH went back at lunch to sort the mess out from today and we bit the bullet and put him in the crate with his Kong so that nothing else was eaten before one of us got home. He's been sleeping in there for the last nearly 3 hours. I'm watching through our Ring camera constantly!
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Jesus wept. I have tried to bite my tongue and keep out of this, but NO, it was not partly your fault....it was TOTALLY your fault. It's a puppy....he is teething...he will chew for gods sake. Think yourself lucky that you haven't got an enormous vet bill as the result of something that he has chewed and caused a blockage in his intestines. They are not robots; just because they do one behaviour one day, it doesn't mean they will do the next. And you've not even got to adolescence!

When is the pup going to his new home? I hope, for his sake, that he has already gone. Grrrrrr! And if I get reported/banned for this I really don't care....someone has to tell you how it is.
 
gunnergundog said:
Jesus wept. I have tried to bite my tongue and keep out of this, but NO, it was not partly your fault....it was TOTALLY your fault. It's a puppy....he is teething...he will chew for gods sake. Think yourself lucky that you haven't got an enormous vet bill as the result of something that he has chewed and caused a blockage in his intestines. They are not robots; just because they do one behaviour one day, it doesn't mean they will do the next. And you've not even got to adolescence!

When is the pup going to his new home? I hope, for his sake, that he has already gone. Grrrrrr! And if I get reported/banned for this I really don't care....someone has to tell you how it is.
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You won't get a ban for that.

It is a fair comment.
 
OP has acknowledged they've made errors. Not sure a pile-on really helps any when they are trying to do what's best for the pup now they have taken advice on board and been educated as to those errors. It's not ideal but a dog this young will not be permanently damaged by it.

I hope those criticising have always managed their animals perfectly.
 
Dare I say? I am quite shocked reading latest updates. ☹️ Even I am now wondering if my support was misplaced. Many changes in such a very short space of time. I would feel happier if the poor pup was being handed over to a reputable spaniel rescue and rehoming entity rather than just being handed over (yet again) to some random person who happens to have a spaniel already and lives on a farm. So fortuitous that one can't help but wonder. :confused:
 
FieldOrnaments said:
OP has acknowledged they've made errors. Not sure a pile-on really helps any when they are trying to do what's best for the pup now they have taken advice on board and been educated as to those errors. It's not ideal but a dog this young will not be permanently damaged by it.

I hope those criticising have always managed their animals perfectly.
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I hope you are right FO, but do keep in mind this next home will be its fourth private one at just 16 weeks old! Surely a reputable rescue to ensure this time it does not just get sent on yet again might be the best thing to do. Or the least that can be done to try and secure it's future. I am quite upset by this to be honest. 😟
 
FieldOrnaments said:
OP has acknowledged they've made errors. Not sure a pile-on really helps any when they are trying to do what's best for the pup now they have taken advice on board and been educated as to those errors. It's not ideal but a dog this young will not be permanently damaged by it.

I hope those criticising have always managed their animals perfectly.
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I would be amazed if anyone on here would say they manage their animals perfectly.
 
FieldOrnaments said:
OP has acknowledged they've made errors. Not sure a pile-on really helps any when they are trying to do what's best for the pup now they have taken advice on board and been educated as to those errors. It's not ideal but a dog this young will not be permanently damaged by it.

I hope those criticising have always managed their animals perfectly.
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And your experience of youngsters of a working gundog breed that have been in multiple homes and screwed up by such a tender age is what precisely? Sadly, mine is VAST. I am a pensioner and can no longer afford to buy the type of pup that I would like....I get my dogs by people coming to me with screwed up youngsters for training that they then, more often than not, give up on. The bracco I have was the ultimate blackmail.....after months of training when it was evident that the owner was doing sod all in between sessions, they turned up at my door and said he's going to be PTS next week unless you have him. I don't particularly like the dog - he's not my type and even now, years on, wouldn't be easily re=homeable....okay, not re=homeable full stop. However, he has a home here for life, unless I kick my clogs first.
 
FieldOrnaments said:
OP has acknowledged they've made errors. Not sure a pile-on really helps any when they are trying to do what's best for the pup now they have taken advice on board and been educated as to those errors. It's not ideal but a dog this young will not be permanently damaged by it.

I hope those criticising have always managed their animals perfectly.
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I don't think they have taken advice really the original post was a op venting how frustrating and hard work it all was, then the advice about a crate was a definite no they have no room, I mean come on how many people get a puppy and don't expect to use a crate.

I think the decision to move the puppy on had already been made really regardless of what anyone said, it was only when the dog destroyed the blinds and had accidents at home was he put in a crate.

I just feel sorry for the dog really it's a typical example of not being realistic about having a puppy and unfortunately it happens alot.
 
FieldOrnaments said:
OP has acknowledged they've made errors. Not sure a pile-on really helps any when they are trying to do what's best for the pup now they have taken advice on board and been educated as to those errors. It's not ideal but a dog this young will not be permanently damaged by it.

I hope those criticising have always managed their animals perfectly.
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I'm sure people who have been around a long time can confirm that this is actually me being nice :)

I've always been very frank about my FUBARs and indeed have mentioned several on this thread alone. But I acknowledge that every single one has been my fault and not the dog's.
 
oh, the screw-up is always the human's, never the animal's, n every instance - we can still hope for a positive outcome for the animal, and a long happy life for it going forward from the human's original error, though.

what is fubar?
 
I mostly find it wild that I've never had a dog but would definitely expect to need a crate at the very least to keep it safe sometimes and would definitely be using the wealth of knowledge my hho friends have before getting one. Though I do already have a copy of Cayla's crate training plan so I'd be up on that 😂.
 
I didnt have a crate, a tiny boat really isnt the sort of place that you just cant get a crate, but I also didn't leave him alone for a nano second till he was about 4.5months old, and then it was just for 5mins in a puppy proofed boat. When I had to go to uni and he was I think 5.5 months old I had to leave him 4and a half hours, and I had a dog walker come in, so it was only an hour either side of a very exciting walk. And he still ripped up my mattress one day when the bloody dog walker didn't come. Totally my fault, I wasn't expecting a no show, and it just didn't occur to me that in the absence of anything fun to destroy that he would think to dig then rip up the mattress. Apparently all his toys just didn't cut it that day He was delighted to see me and to show me his brilliant new toy! I had to go outside and sit and cry for a while before I went in to deal with the mess. i can laugh now but it was such a bugger to sort out!

So crates arent essential, but if you don't have one then you need to go all out on the puppy proofing and do the leaving alone thing very carefully and only for short times.

I'm very lucky to have a friend who is an excellent behaviourist who helped me a lot when I was giving it a good go to screw up my first puppy because I'd massively underestimated the time and skill it took. I am forever grateful to her for the bollockings, hand holding and advice. Its why I am always hesitant to get a new puppy now, as I know the huge amount of time and effort it takes. Cooper is 2yrs4months and is a delight now, but by god was he a difficult adolescent. It will no doubt be another 5yrs before I can face a puppy again after the hell he put me through! 😂 😂
 
OP, this isn't a pile on but I really think for your own sake you should hold your hands up and admit (to yourself) you had unrealistic expectations of having a puppy. It's ok to say, yep I messed up. I actually find that helps me, we all make mistakes, you've made one here.
You talk about working on the situation as if it's been months, it's been a few weeks. Having annual leave for 2 weeks is a classic mistake (I think) people make as if that's it we've had 2 weeks off now he'll be settled in- no chance!

You had no plan and it's now backfired but it's a lesson learnt.

Please be careful where the pup ends up, he's been through a lot already.
 
Bellaboo18 said:
OP, this isn't a pile on but I really think for your own sake you should hold your hands up and admit (to yourself) you had unrealistic expectations of having a puppy. It's ok to say, yep I messed up. I actually find that helps me, we all make mistakes, you've made one here.
You talk about working on the situation as if it's been months, it's been a few weeks. Having annual leave for 2 weeks is a classic mistake (I think) people make as if that's it we've had 2 weeks off now he'll be settled in- no chance!

You had no plan and it's now backfired but it's a lesson learnt.

Please be careful where the pup ends up, he's been through a lot already.
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^^^ I am a pet owner type of dog person, I have terriers not gundogs but even with my first I had training ready and a crate etc. My OH had had dogs as a child but never dealt with puppies so it was a steep learning curve. He took the view that the puppy should "know" what was and wan't allowed to be chewed and lost a phone charger and some shoes among other things. You learn not to leave things lying around. We always crated all our puppies until about a year old if we were going out or if things all became a bit overexcited. Granddaughter learned not to leave precious toys lying around quickly and when her mum got a puppy she was expert at putting stuff out of reach. I once found her aged 2 (I turned my back for all of 10 seconds in the room) holding Ruby round the middle whilst opening the crate. I intervened and asked what she was doing. "Ruby go own house now" was her reply! Even at that age she understood if the puppy was getting rowdy it went in the crate for a while.

OP we all make mistakes and could do better but it just seems the expectations of the puppy were too high. They really don't do things to annoy you. They might be attention seeking - but thats when the crate comes in. Also at night the crate keeps them safe from chewing/eating unsuitable things. You cannot expect them to know instinctively what is and is not allowed. This is true of any puppy of any breed so if you get another maybe gen up a bit on training and management of all puppies. Even KCCS - often mooted as quiet easy dogs - will be mad barmy puppies. I adore my dogs but always say if Ruby had been my first puppy she likely would have been returned to her breeder. She was the worst puppy I have ever come across. She is wonderful now mostly and a real character but it took almost 4 years for her to be the gentle, loyal, creature she is now. Until 2 she was pretty much full on with no off switch at all.

I really hope the farm home is what he needs but if you are remotely unsure please send him to a breed specific rescue. A farm with space is not the answer to training problems. A flat with a consistent,, loving knowledgable, experienced person could be equally good or better. My OH grew up with a lurcher, Irish Wolfhound x GSD in a council flat in Fulham. Not ideal but good training and 3 walks a day Mon -Fri with weekends in Richmond Park worked well for 13 years. It's about what you do with them not where you live.
 
misst said:
^^^ I am a pet owner type of dog person, I have terriers not gundogs but even with my first I had training ready and a crate etc. My OH had had dogs as a child but never dealt with puppies so it was a steep learning curve. He took the view that the puppy should "know" what was and wan't allowed to be chewed and lost a phone charger and some shoes among other things. You learn not to leave things lying around. We always crated all our puppies until about a year old if we were going out or if things all became a bit overexcited. Granddaughter learned not to leave precious toys lying around quickly and when her mum got a puppy she was expert at putting stuff out of reach. I once found her aged 2 (I turned my back for all of 10 seconds in the room) holding Ruby round the middle whilst opening the crate. I intervened and asked what she was doing. "Ruby go own house now" was her reply! Even at that age she understood if the puppy was getting rowdy it went in the crate for a while.

OP we all make mistakes and could do better but it just seems the expectations of the puppy were too high. They really don't do things to annoy you. They might be attention seeking - but thats when the crate comes in. Also at night the crate keeps them safe from chewing/eating unsuitable things. You cannot expect them to know instinctively what is and is not allowed. This is true of any puppy of any breed so if you get another maybe gen up a bit on training and management of all puppies. Even KCCS - often mooted as quiet easy dogs - will be mad barmy puppies. I adore my dogs but always say if Ruby had been my first puppy she likely would have been returned to her breeder. She was the worst puppy I have ever come across. She is wonderful now mostly and a real character but it took almost 4 years for her to be the gentle, loyal, creature she is now. Until 2 she was pretty much full on with no off switch at all.

I really hope the farm home is what he needs but if you are remotely unsure please send him to a breed specific rescue. A farm with space is not the answer to training problems. A flat with a consistent,, loving knowledgable, experienced person could be equally good or better. My OH grew up with a lurcher, Irish Wolfhound x GSD in a council flat in Fulham. Not ideal but good training and 3 walks a day Mon -Fri with weekends in Richmond Park worked well for 13 years. It's about what you do with them not where you live.
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I think this is a really important point. Outdoor space *can* be a nightmare initially. Trying to keep them safe and fenced in is harder the more space you have.
 
It wasn't necessarily about the space but the time. The reality of his needs of being with someone all the time wasn't going to be possible, at least not for a while until he could go to work with OH and even then, he wouldn't always be able to come out of the van if he was working in a client's house. We just couldn't keep him in a crate or anywhere for that matter where he would be alone for 4 hours twice a day if he wasn't with OH, even if it was just temporary. It just wasn't fair on him. We found that his needs in particular needed much more than that.
I'd give anything to get him back, he's left a very large hole in my heart. He helped me so much with my anxiety and panic attacks. He was something I never thought I needed but we couldn't give him what he needed. Hopefully I'll run out of tears soon.

ETA: He's currently causing his usual chaos at his new home but he's absolutely in his element. He's got a new older spaniel brother who he's been running riot with and a huge amount of love from the family. He definitely chose them when they met him and he'll live the best life. As much as it hurts. I'm lucky that I have the option to visit him though I'm not sure I'd manage it, not currently anyway.
I keep running through my head what more we could have done, what other options we had for this current time in his life but I can't think of anything else. Other than spending hundreds on daycare places each week which wouldn't be possible, I don't think there was anything else we could have done. We were obviously stupid, we didn't think about this all enough and now we are suffering the consequences from our mistake. I feel like I failed him and let him down. I just want what is best for him, despite how much it hurts.
 
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GrassChop said:
It wasn't necessarily about the space but the time. The reality of his needs of being with someone all the time wasn't going to be possible, at least not for a while until he could go to work with OH and even then, he wouldn't always be able to come out of the van if he was working in a client's house. We just couldn't keep him in a crate or anywhere for that matter where he would be alone for 4 hours twice a day if he wasn't with OH, even if it was just temporary. It just wasn't fair on him. We found that his needs in particular needed much more than that.
I'd give anything to get him back, he's left a very large hole in my heart. He helped me so much with my anxiety and panic attacks. He was something I never thought I needed but we couldn't give him what he needed. Hopefully I'll run out of tears soon.
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Read the posts of the people who have high drive breeds and the time and commitment they put into ensuring their needs are met and if you can't offer that then a dog like that isn't for you.

I don't want to be unkind but from what you have said, I'm not sure that you are in a good position to get any dog at the moment. I would suggest waiting, do your research on the breed you would like and ask yourself can you meet the dog's needs. Even a laid back companion needs training and time out of your day.
 
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skinnydipper said:
Read the posts of the people who have high drive breeds and the time and commitment they put into ensuring their needs are met and if you can't offer that then a dog like isn't for you.

I don't want to be unkind but from what you have said, I'm not sure that you are in a good position to get any dog at the moment. I would suggest waiting, do you research on the breed you would like and ask yourself can you meet the dog's needs. Even a laid back companion needs training and time out of your day.
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This was sort of unnecessary following my update but thank you for your reply anyway.
 
skinnydipper said:
I don't agree it was unnecessary. I've picked up the pieces when a dog has had 4 previous homes.
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Currently going through the heartbreak of the mistake we made with already lots of replies before my update advising of that and no mention of wanting a replacement any time soon so I guess I felt the reminder was uncalled for. Sorry.
 
GrassChop said:
Currently going through the heartbreak of the mistake we made with already lots of replies before my update advising of that and no mention of wanting a replacement any time soon so I guess I felt the reminder was uncalled for. Sorry.
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I've read your threads feeling absolutely gutted and this one. I was just advising caution, and patience. Waiting until you've got all your ducks in a row and advising you to learn what you would be taking on when choosing a breed.
 
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