Tearful, serious post- please be nice

LauraBR

LauraBR

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Some people will think I’m being a right ‘giver upper’ (new term) but I have decided to sell and it feels right so… I’m doing it.

I have thought of nothing else since I broke my leg… to’d and fro’d…. Sam is a GREAT horse and OMG I do believe I have totally changed him in a good way BUT- I need something that isn’t going to strip my confidence any more- I need a horse on which I can concentrate on how many poles we have down, not whether he’s had me off or not.

When I went to try Sam he had done nothing for years… took all my might to get him into trot from walk he was that lazy. He looks a different ned now and we have done all sorts- dressage, XC, hunt, loads of SJ…. BUT …

When we jump and get it right it is AMAZING- the horse would BSJA EASY, he never touches a pole and gives every jump a foot BUT… we don’t trust each other to handle certain jumps out competing- he needs me to be totally positive and RIDE the fence but sometimes I don’t and he runs out at the very last minute having approached the jump at stupid uncontrollable speed and 9/10 I come off if it is fast.

So hard to explain our whole history, to justify the decision based on the history, and it is NOT about my broken leg, I would get back on him tomorrow and jump him just can’t be arsed with worrying what he will do everytime we go compete (jumps at home brilliantly)… want a horse who I can ENJOY competing at weekends- not one that will win me rosettes but one I can have fun on.

And PLEASE no condescending comments. I’m sure most of you are better riders who could work wonders with him, don’t rub it in my face.

At least I try
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Sheesh, you people must think I'm a right muppet
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FFS, dont be so hard on yourself!
The way you are talking gives the impression that you have been thinking about it for a while, and your injury has just sealed things.
Personally I think youve done a great job, he looks tons better than when you brought him.
Less of the self pity please.
 
Hugs..
If a horse isn't right for you, and you have tried but haven't all your confidence, then you are doing the right thing...

Having a horse should be a pleasure not a worry.

Not a muppet by any means
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first you are not a muppet and second, most of us riders can understand or have been in the same situation at some point. you know deep down if its the right thing for you, and him. no condescending comments... just big hugs!
 
You are certainly not a muppet!! You are one very sensible and brave person to have made that decision, and have thought about if the horse will be doing you any favours or not. Sam has really improved thanks to all your hard work, and not giving up - look how well you've done with him - a different horse!

Good luck in the future xx
 
Ahhhhh hun, wish I had time to come on MSN.

There is nothing wrong with what you have said and, at the end of the day, riding and competing should be enjoyable not something that you dread.

I doubt anyone on here would think any less of you for what you have just said and, certainly would not make condescending comments.

You have done wonders with him but, through this process, you have realised he is not for you, there is nothing wrong with that. Perhaps its time to find something that will give you more confidence, rather that strip it so that you can do what you want to do without worrying.

And, as for better riders, I am not sure that this applies, it sounds more like the wrong match.
 
he sounds like es came on loads since you'v had him, he probably just needs a more confident rider that doesnt care if they fall off or not. Good luck in finding another horse when your legs better.
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I wish more owners would be as honest about being with the wrong horse as you are. Some horses and owners aren't meant to be, doesn't mean there is anything wrong with either of you.

Well done in your decision to sell and enjoy shopping for a fun neddie !!
 
First off big ((((((((hugs)))))))))) to you for making a hard decision, secondly, I know exactly where your coming from, as I've been having similar thoughts with Bud for the last few days, when he's going well he's superb, when he's been "off" he's a nightmare.
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Your not a muppet, far from it, and don't put yourself down for making this decision!!!
 
If you don't get on then there is no point carrying on.... you'll loose your nerve more and more and he will probably start to take the p*ss and it will be a downward spiral!
I don't think there is any shame in not getting on with a horse, it's better to admitt it (for both of you) than to try and force it to work.

I'm the opposite to you, I like very very go-ey horses but if I were to somehow end up with a lazy one, we wouldn't get on - i'd be on at it all the time to try and brighten it up and wind it up and the horse would get pissed off because it just isn't like that - I would find no shame in selling that horse! It's not because you can't do it, it's because you don't want to and it's not your career it's your hobby so only ride horses you enjoy!!!
 
ah poor you, your very brave to admit that he just isnt the horse for you, your not a muppet, your just going through a process of finding the right horse for you. I think you need some pickle treatment if I were near you, you could come and ride the pickly beast!!

I hope you find your ideal horse just think of it as a few steps before finding the dream horse

jess
 
I know exactly how you feel, and you're not a muppet AT ALL. I went through this with a horse I had (though more similar to Fal than Sam, just a psycho-rodeo-monster with no physical excuses) and she put me in lots of very dangerous situations. It got to the point where I decided that she had to go elsewhere, not a confidence issue on my part, just feeling that I deserved to be able to walk down the road without my heart in my mouth about what was going to happen next, and without months of reschooling and more blood, sweat and tears to get to that point.
Trust and the knowledge that you could give anything a go are the most important things in a horse-rider relationship, but sometimes you'll never get that back once you've past a certain point.
Hell, you deserve more FUN than just about anyone on here!

Sorry to ramble, and hello from someone who joined the bionic club, though i beat you by a couple of weeks! X
 
You're doing the right thing...

I had a gorgeous TB but he was scatty, & when I was driving to the stables to ride, I felt physically sick & was shaking. While riding him, my mouth was dry & I'd be sitting there petrified waiting for the fireworks.

Riding shouldn't be like that! You should look forward to it & it should be fun. I nearly gave up riding altogether, but instead bought a v safe irish draught mare who never put a foot wrong. After 2 years of very safe riding, I'd got my nerve back.

You're NOT being silly - you're being very brave & doing something +ve. I cried buckets getting rid of my TB even tho he was a nutcase, so I know you've made a hard decision.

You're not giving up either - you're being realistic. And it's not always the rider's fault either. My warmblood used to jump if he felt like it, & stop v v hard & suddenly without warning if he didn't, & I totally blamed myself...until I sold him & watched someone else ride him...then I could tell by his whole attitude that he just didn't like jumping much.

In a few weeks when you've got another horse & have settled into a new routine, you'll feel a lot better.

Well done, you.
 
Sheesh, you people must think I'm a right muppet

Now why would we think that? You sound like you have done alot of soul searching about this and you are doing what you feel is right for both of you.What anyone else thinks doesn't matter.
 
Thanks Vici... not sure the injury sealed things... we were doing great before xmas (worked through the hi-speed running out) then he broke his nose... so back to square one.
 
I think it is far, far better to admit he's not the one and get something you feel comfortable with, than to be like the huge numbers of horse owners who keep their horses and never do anything with them.

Well done. Hard decision and prob will get harder with selling him, but hopefully you'll look back on it and feel you've done the right thing.

XX
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You sound like you've brought him on in leaps and bounds!

But well done in being able to make such a hard decision. No one thinks you're a muppet!

Best of luck finding him a new home. He does sound like a wonderful horse for the right person.
 
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Gosh, so many kind replies... thank you so much

... and excuse me if I use this reply to tell Piaffe to f*** off for calling me a muppet...

Thanks everyone.

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I think it takes guts to admit the horse is no good for you i hope you find a nice sort that you can have fun with and imo if you have tried everything and the horse is still to much you are doing right and at least you have the knowledge that you have improved the horse if more people had your guts to admit there horse was to much for them then there would be less horses labled as dangerous. Good luck on your search and it does not make you a worse rider than any one else it makes you a sensiable and in some ways better rider than some people
 
It sounds like you have made a really brave decision and the best one for you and your horse. Hope everything goes smoothly and you are soon out, worry-free, enjoying a new neddy.

J x
 
As someone who has sold two horses that weren't right for me in the last three years (cried buckets over both & felt useless for a long time) & has finally found 'the one' I can totally empathise with your decision but when you know you know.....if it's any consolation if I hadn't sold my last boy (who sapped my will to live never mind my confidence) then I never would have found the superstar that is Sid!

well done for making such a tough decision
 
*Huggle* Its horrid being in plaster isn't it? Your not a muppet lol! Well you probs are but we all have these days! The way I see it they make the good days better! If your really sure then sell up but speaking from experience try hang on in there.... So many times have i written advert up etc.. But when it came down to it I couldn't sell like that... When I do sell its for out grown wanting a harder more changing horse after producing last. You really do have somthing to be proud of! Nobody else you ride and care for sam like you do your his mummy and you know each other best, that counts more for fancy legwork in my books!
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Stop beating yourself up! It is a sensible decision on many levels, and it takes far more courage to realise when a situation is not right than it does to put up with it because it is the easy option and nobody will criticise you for it. He is not the horse for you, and you may not be the human for him. Yes it will be sad, but you will find a horse that you can really bond with and then you will wonder why you ever felt so bad. Once you are back on your feet that is!
 
I can't add to what everybody else has said, except that I certainly don't think you are a giver-upper. You tried so, so hard with Fal, and you have done wonders with Sam (for both him and for you). You are learning and growing all the time, and now it's time for a new step. At least, it will be when you have healed. I think you are a very brave lady and I hope that didn't come out condescending, because I mean it.
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Sounds like a wise decision to me! Hope you find him a lovely home and I also hope you find yourself a lovely horse that suits you down to the ground
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No - you are not a muppet - merely you've had time to think whilst you are off riding

We all work hard to support our hobby - even 'pros' - and we want to have some 'fun' with our horse(s) in the time we have to ride and compete them (that is after the shovelling/tackcleaning/grooming/poohpicking times).

You should be able to find him a lovely home (esp. as you have the time to do a nice advert whilst you aren't riding and take some nice photos of him) and maybe even find someone who doesn't want to jump but want's to do dressage and hack - with jumping as just an 'optional extra' - which sounds like it would suit him.

So yes - the right decision. Put the money you get in the bank on a high interest account and then when you are better you can go out horse shopping and tell us all about it.

Not a muppet, just a realist. I'm a bit of a pragmatist which comes over very blunt sometimes but I just dont' do 'fluffy' and you are merely being honest for both him and yourself.

Good luck to you and him
 
LTZ: I don't think you're being silly. As others have said, when it's not fun anymore it's time for a change of scenery, and if that means changing horses then so be it. You can't 'gel' with everyone, and that includes horses. It's actually quite brave of you to come to this point and know that you can't carry on. You've done a fab job, maybe he's now just ready for that person he can 'gel' with and you ready for a horse you can gel with.

Fiona: You still have a few little battles to go before you need to think about this sort of decision!! You are going the right way about dealing with Bud, plenty of lessons from the ground and you just need to start being confident in yourself. Bud is a totally different kettle of fish. It's easy for me to say, but you two DO make a good team, and he's just testing you atm. It's winter, he hasnt been ridden much and he's all excited about the spanking new trailer X is planning to buy you
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