Tension in Dressage

Well, this has all moved on somewhat since I was here last!!

I think it was in this thread (I'm really rather confused now due to the two glasses of wine I have had to consume to get through it), but the display with Friesians at Olympia, especially when one horse stood on the back of others, and then the dogs came out bounding over them all lying down was really not very enjoyable.

Writing for judges is great - I have written for quite a few different judges and always learn a lot. I'm booked in to write on 29/12 and really looking forward to it.

Lastly, about that Ester..... not only did she make me sit next to her at Olympia on Wednesday, she also bullied me into buying a Welshie. :eek::oops:o_O
 
MrsJingle said:
OP I have read right through this thread and have absolutely not one jot of worthwhile opinion to share on the subject.

However, I really do hope you are OK and regret very much that some people who have responded to your thread with great enthusiasm for critique of almost every word you wrote, failed miserably to pick up on how much they were upsetting and distressing you. I think even if they did not agree with you it might have been far wiser and far more mature to have simply backed away from this thread when it became very evident how much their somewhat harsh and frankly irrelevant responses became and had very little to do with informative opinion on your original post.

I have a tough hide and don't give a flying feck what responses I get from posting my opinion here or elsewhere - however I do recognise when someone is obviously extremely distressed and upset by an apparent concerted effort to follow the pack and wade in - yet again :mad: Take care and I hope you have a very happy Christmas and new year and leave all this where it belongs - in la la internet land when absolutley nobody is what they seem and like to portray..
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Thank you so much for this.
 
tristar said:
for what its worth if you are happy with the way your horse performed, that is the most important thing, you are sitting on the horse the judge is not, you know in your own mind the truth of how it feels.
tristar said:
for what its worth if you are happy with the way your horse performed, that is the most important thing, you are sitting on the horse the judge is not, you know in your own mind the truth of how it feels.

and a dull horse being kicked round is not ready to be presented to perform a test at all ,i value willingness over all other qualities,, and while rhythm and balance are paramount a horse with sparkle probably has more potential to train on at the higher levels or might be easier in some ways, but for god sake do not try to subdue and ruin that enthusiasm, just find away to sculpt it constructively with proper training, to retain that liveliness with achieving rhythm and balance, then you can get straightness

on the day judging is all well and good but potential to train on is just as important to me, to see the bigger picture than the dull obedient horse and not put down horses who may very well perform much better when going higher level as i have seen done. because it may be on the day but this is dressage! the whole idea is to improve! and move upwards not just what it does today.
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and a dull horse being kicked round is not ready to be presented to perform a test at all ,i value willingness over all other qualities,, and while rhythm and balance are paramount a horse with sparkle probably has more potential to train on at the higher levels or might be easier in some ways, but for god sake do not try to subdue and ruin that enthusiasm, just find away to sculpt it constructively with proper training, to retain that liveliness with achieving rhythm and balance, then you can get straightness on the day judging is all well and good but potential to train on is just as important to me, to see the bigger picture than the dull obedient horse and not put down horses who may very well perform much better when going higher level as i have seen done. because it may be on the day but this is dressage! the whole idea is to improve! and move upwards not just what it does today.
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Thank you for this. Agree with all of your comments and I really am so happy and proud of him. After an awful first test, he did absolutely everything he was asked and exceeded my expectations...this was all to get more experience for him. And yes, I am so glad you have said not to shut him down... I absolutely don’t want to shut down that enthusiasm and love of his work, they are who he is and need to find a way to constructively sculpt it as you say.

I would be interested to see if there are any responses to your comment other than mine.
 
MrsJingle said:
Oh do grow up for heaven's sake...are you 10??? Your suggested 'intrigue' and pride in your longevity at H&H does not one thing to excuse your cruel and shameful behaviour shown on this thread to someone who is very obviously feeling vulnerable and in need of some slack from the more robust and hard headed posters on this forum. I dont care who the OP is now, was before on this forum, and might be next week....the bottom line is very obvious flags were showing that this was becoming distressful and making the OP fell very, very upset and depressed. Christ there are some real bitches in the real and internet pretend horse world for sure :mad:
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This 100% well said
 
splashgirl45 said:
oldie 48, can i have the new body that is 40 years younger.....that would be fab....
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Nope, if anyone is getting it i am first in the queue as I think I need it more than most, you can have "World Peace" and be grateful for potentially winning a Nobel prize, I will settle for having a waistline and a proper bum so my breeches stay up!
 
I do believe that if we keep plugging away at it we will get where we want to go. My instructor rides at gp, she says she still hasn't scratched the surface.
She also pointed out that she put in 20 years of hard work to get there. So if anyone here is feeling discouraged, I think it's important that we look to what's possible instead of what we are, (currently) having difficulty with:cool:
 
A Mule In A Manager said:
I do believe that if we keep plugging away at it we will get where we want to go. My instructor rides at gp, she says she still hasn't scratched the surface.
She also pointed out that she put in 20 years of hard work to get there. So if anyone here is feeling discouraged, I think it's important that we look to what's possible instead of what we are, (currently) having difficulty with:cool:
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Too right 👍
 
"Gaslighting is a form of psychological manipulation that seeks to sow seeds of doubt in a targeted individual or in members of a targeted group, making them question their own memory, perception, and sanity. Using persistent denial, misdirection, contradiction, and lying, it attempts to destabilize the victim and delegitimize the victim's belief"

Thankfully the messages of support I have received today have made me realise that it isn't me. The fact that you haven't responded or can't respond to certain posts here which also venture a differing opinion demonstrate it isn't me. It's the awful pack mentality of a group that spends all its time on an internet forum...I do wonder when you saw your horses this evening. I feel much better this evening and having received further messages I realise that I should not let a group of people on the internet, clearly with issues of their own given the amount of time they spend here, upset me or ruin my happiness in my much improved and beautiful gelding.
 
I think it's pretty insulting to those who have suffered from gaslighting to suggest that is what has gone on in this thread.

No horse to see so no need to worry about any neglect going on. No one set out to ruin your happiness, as stated before had you posted that you were really proud of how much better your gelding had gone you would have got plenty of congratulation. As it was you asked a question and people are generous enough with their time to try and answer those around here.
 
Well, you're still here. I've been nipping in and out, ridden two and given a lesson, but then I'm good at multitasking. Thanks for the info, I'd not heard of that before, but doesn't seem to fit with the answers we've been trying to give you. Really think you should let it go, it's not doing you any good and you are getting yourself in a state.
 
Now the folk who don't agree with the OP are neglecting their horses :D

(Mine are very happy in their field with their hay and all that. I spent all afternoon with them - I'm not overly concerned to have limited myself to a brief check this evening!)
 
Cortez said:
Well, you're still here. I've been nipping in and out, ridden two and given a lesson, but then I'm good at multitasking. Thanks for the info, I'd not heard of that before, but doesn't seem to fit with the answers we've been trying to give you. Really think you should let it go, it's not doing you any good and you are getting yourself in a state.
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If you truly thought that, you wouldn't keep responding with spiteful and bitchy comments. You were certainly very quick to jump on this one.

I've taken much from a number of comments, advice, support and messages today. Not from you, but guess what? Not everyone has to agree with "established members." And believe me, they don't.
 
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Yep I saw mine at midday then again between 4.30 and 6, both are on a day off. No need for any concern.
I also think it's distasteful to compare this forum to actual gaslighting which ruins lives. This is trivial nonsense. Close down the computer, do something else. 🤨
 
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Melodra said:
If you truly thought that, you wouldn't keep responding with spiteful and bitchy comments. You were certainly very quick to jump on this one.

I've taken much from a number of comments, advice, support and messages today. Not from you, but guess what? Not everyone hast agree with "established members." And believe me, they don't.
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No one has to agree with anyone, in fact it would be a very boring forum if they did; it's kind of the point of it, you know? Please show me the spiteful and bitchy bits, like actual quotes because I haven't got time to find them now.
 
You need to take a long hard look at yourself and ask yourself why your online behaviour leaves others in tears. Bullying and gaslighting is exactly what you do. You've just been pulled up for it by others and you still can't see it. Absolutely typical.

Like I say, I've heard enough from others to know it's not me.

Enjoy your evening.
 
tristar said:
for what its worth if you are happy with the way your horse performed, that is the most important thing, you are sitting on the horse the judge is not, you know in your own mind the truth of how it feels.

and a dull horse being kicked round is not ready to be presented to perform a test at all ,i value willingness over all other qualities,, and while rhythm and balance are paramount a horse with sparkle probably has more potential to train on at the higher levels or might be easier in some ways, but for god sake do not try to subdue and ruin that enthusiasm, just find away to sculpt it constructively with proper training, to retain that liveliness with achieving rhythm and balance, then you can get straightness

on the day judging is all well and good but potential to train on is just as important to me, to see the bigger picture than the dull obedient horse and not put down horses who may very well perform much better when going higher level as i have seen done. because it may be on the day but this is dressage! the whole idea is to improve! and move upwards not just what it does today.
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While this maybe the end goal for lots of riders, in a competition the judge can only judge and comment on what they see on the day. They can't give a higher score because they think the horse will be better at a higher level or with more training (unless it's a young horse class). I think this is what can feel frustrating for riders as they know the potential of their horse but the judges don't. Unfortunately that's the nature of the beast of competition in dressage, you literally pay someone to make comments on you and your horse!
 
Melodra said:
You need to take a long hard look at yourself and ask yourself why your online behaviour leaves others in tears. Bullying and gaslighting is exactly what you do. You've just been pulled up for it by others and you still can't see it. Absolutely typical.

Like I say, I've heard enough from others to know it's not me.

Enjoy your evening.
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Who's in tears now? I can't keep track. Anyhow, I wish you the best of luck in all your endeavours and perhaps a slightly more robust constitution if you're going to engage with others on an open discussion forum. And better manners.
 
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