PapaFrita
Well-Known Member
I know it's hard... truly I do...
The Grumpy Old Fart, Really Arsey, Tell It Like It Is Thread...
- Thread starter PapaFrita
- Start date
I know it's hard... truly I do...
PapaFrita
Well-Known Member
PaddyMonty
Well-Known Member
Since we are speaking plainly, has this ever been in doubt?
PaddyMonty
Well-Known Member
Agreed! They could also get a barbie doll to ride it or some miniture PNH gear so they dont have to pretend to ride it.
PaddyMonty
Well-Known Member
That will require a far bigger computor. I believe the mice are working on it.But what is the question?
*hic*
village idiot :D
PapaFrita
Well-Known Member
Well, there was a time when it was thought I might be barmy
PapaFrita
Well-Known Member
PapaFrita
Well-Known Member
Psht! I'm an artist, 'bonkers' is in the job description!!
Maesfen
Extremely Old Nag!
Oi, don't make hounds sick as well! Shoot the beggars and stuff 'em on the bonfire instead; at least they can roast your spuds.
*hic*
village idiot :D
oops, pardon me, I forgot. My mother married into a family of artists, you are very right, they are all shades from bonkers to completely raving.
Except of course for my stepfather who managed to combine being a rather iffy artist with being an extremely accomplished piss-artist.
Except of course for my stepfather who managed to combine being a rather iffy artist with being an extremely accomplished piss-artist.
ThePony
Well-Known Member
omg, do I ever need this thread!!!
Am in a super grump from this am at the yard and am bursting to tell it like it is in a 'head spinning ranty I am a totaly grummpy old woman' way
Right:
You have a native sturdy pony, it is 15 deg and you are riding in an fleece exercise sheet. Of course you don't bloody need it, what planet are you on!
I am not cruel to my mare - her legs will not (and have not) turn into bloody stumps because I am an awful owner who has removed the protective ring of steel from her hooves and I ride her on the road.
She also doesn't need a heavyweight rug (she has a thick winter coat and it is warm weather) or buckets of hard feet - she is a good doer happy hacker. It is not cruel to 'deprive' her of these things!
If the hay has touched the ground in your horses stable it is not necessary to throw it out several times a day - where do you think horses eat grass from?!!
If you come up in the morning and your horse is wet with sweat and cooking under its many rugs - it is not telling you it needs to be warmer!!! Putting on an extra rug will not fix this!
When you are greeted with a 'hello', 'good morning' or a smile - it is plain good manners to return the greeting. Snearing as you turn away because you are so utterly fabulous and many leagues of class above me does nothing to convince me that you are correct in that assumption. I just think you are a rude mannerless oik.
Phew, that has helped loads, fab thread!!
Am in a super grump from this am at the yard and am bursting to tell it like it is in a 'head spinning ranty I am a totaly grummpy old woman' way
Right:
You have a native sturdy pony, it is 15 deg and you are riding in an fleece exercise sheet. Of course you don't bloody need it, what planet are you on!
I am not cruel to my mare - her legs will not (and have not) turn into bloody stumps because I am an awful owner who has removed the protective ring of steel from her hooves and I ride her on the road.
She also doesn't need a heavyweight rug (she has a thick winter coat and it is warm weather) or buckets of hard feet - she is a good doer happy hacker. It is not cruel to 'deprive' her of these things!
If the hay has touched the ground in your horses stable it is not necessary to throw it out several times a day - where do you think horses eat grass from?!!
If you come up in the morning and your horse is wet with sweat and cooking under its many rugs - it is not telling you it needs to be warmer!!! Putting on an extra rug will not fix this!
When you are greeted with a 'hello', 'good morning' or a smile - it is plain good manners to return the greeting. Snearing as you turn away because you are so utterly fabulous and many leagues of class above me does nothing to convince me that you are correct in that assumption. I just think you are a rude mannerless oik.
Phew, that has helped loads, fab thread!!
PapaFrita
Well-Known Member
nativetyponies
Well-Known Member
Getting Bolloxed is an Art now?
GREAT!
GREAT!
PapaFrita
Well-Known Member
I'm actually quite boring by the usual standards....
*hic*
village idiot :D
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*hic*
village idiot :D
No! what went wrong with the smileys? :
:
PapaFrita
Well-Known Member
ThePony
Well-Known Member
It really is. I might just be able to continue the day as a normal person now without biting anyones head off! Think it will need to avoid some of the more fluffy threads though just incase (stock answers - god knows what size saddle, get a vet, stop letting it take the piss). Some things just drive me up the wall!
PapaFrita
Well-Known Member
Flicker
Well-Known Member
Please can I have a go...
You have a cracking, handy cob. Well, it would be if it weren't twice the size it ought to be and if you hadn't let it find out yonks ago that it is stronger (and probably more intelligent) than you. Your horse was MADE for hunting and riding club fun. It is sound as a pound, has brilliant movement, is totally fearless and will jump anything. Well, on the rare occasions that you let it out of walk, it will jump anything.
Your cob is also bomb proof. That is BOMB. PROOF. The odd sideways step out of the way of a piece of blowing plastic bag on the lane is not it 'going mental'. You step out of the way of blowing plastic bags on the lane because you don't want them wrapped around your foot. The cob is exercising the same logic. This does not count as a 'spook' either.
If you are intending for a 'hack' to be your cob's primary source of exercise for the day, I would suggest that you try to make it a bit longer than 20 minutes. That might help it to get a bit fitter, and also probably add some variety to its life. There are some lovely hacks around the vicinity, not all of them require road work. You should try them sometime.
If I was your cob and my morning routine consisted of walking and trotting round the school for half an hour, doing the same thing day in and day out, I'd probably also be a little disinterested. Perhaps if you gave the horse a bit more stimulation, it might reward you with a bit more spring in its step.
If the cob leaves half a net of haylege, it is because it is not hungry. It is not because it needs more.
I am guessing though, that you probably don't want the cob to be any fitter, slimmer or more interested in life, because it suits you to have it lazy, fat and bored. I suspect you are basically scared of horses and would probably rather not be riding.
May I suggest that you find an unrideable rescue that is looking for a good home and wants a bit of pampering? Your stable management is second to none - your horse has the best of everything. There are so many deserving horses out there that would love to spend the rest of their days in the pampered luxury you could provide them. And there are lots of very talented riders out there who would just love to get their hands on your cracking little cob.
And breathe...
God, that is really cathartic, isn't it??
You have a cracking, handy cob. Well, it would be if it weren't twice the size it ought to be and if you hadn't let it find out yonks ago that it is stronger (and probably more intelligent) than you. Your horse was MADE for hunting and riding club fun. It is sound as a pound, has brilliant movement, is totally fearless and will jump anything. Well, on the rare occasions that you let it out of walk, it will jump anything.
Your cob is also bomb proof. That is BOMB. PROOF. The odd sideways step out of the way of a piece of blowing plastic bag on the lane is not it 'going mental'. You step out of the way of blowing plastic bags on the lane because you don't want them wrapped around your foot. The cob is exercising the same logic. This does not count as a 'spook' either.
If you are intending for a 'hack' to be your cob's primary source of exercise for the day, I would suggest that you try to make it a bit longer than 20 minutes. That might help it to get a bit fitter, and also probably add some variety to its life. There are some lovely hacks around the vicinity, not all of them require road work. You should try them sometime.
If I was your cob and my morning routine consisted of walking and trotting round the school for half an hour, doing the same thing day in and day out, I'd probably also be a little disinterested. Perhaps if you gave the horse a bit more stimulation, it might reward you with a bit more spring in its step.
If the cob leaves half a net of haylege, it is because it is not hungry. It is not because it needs more.
I am guessing though, that you probably don't want the cob to be any fitter, slimmer or more interested in life, because it suits you to have it lazy, fat and bored. I suspect you are basically scared of horses and would probably rather not be riding.
May I suggest that you find an unrideable rescue that is looking for a good home and wants a bit of pampering? Your stable management is second to none - your horse has the best of everything. There are so many deserving horses out there that would love to spend the rest of their days in the pampered luxury you could provide them. And there are lots of very talented riders out there who would just love to get their hands on your cracking little cob.
And breathe...
God, that is really cathartic, isn't it??
Halfstep
Well-Known Member
Over the years I have come to the conclusion that there are, statistically, four things that answer 99% of "questions" on this forum.
1). Call the vet. Not the back lady, crystal healer, horse communicator, your "knowledgeable" yard owner, or the Buddha. That person with the degree in veterinary medicine and the skills and tools to diagnose what the hell is wrong with your animal.
2). Get some lessons with a decent trainer. Not someone who will massage your ego while blaming all the problems on your horse, or someone who will not allow you to touch the reins for three years, but someone who knows their business, knows how to communicate it, and will help you to enjoy riding your horse.
3). If you have to ask why not, you probably shouldn't buy it.
4). With feet like that it is no wonder its lame/iffy/refusing/grumpy/bolting/biting/bucking/rearing.....
1). Call the vet. Not the back lady, crystal healer, horse communicator, your "knowledgeable" yard owner, or the Buddha. That person with the degree in veterinary medicine and the skills and tools to diagnose what the hell is wrong with your animal.
2). Get some lessons with a decent trainer. Not someone who will massage your ego while blaming all the problems on your horse, or someone who will not allow you to touch the reins for three years, but someone who knows their business, knows how to communicate it, and will help you to enjoy riding your horse.
3). If you have to ask why not, you probably shouldn't buy it.
4). With feet like that it is no wonder its lame/iffy/refusing/grumpy/bolting/biting/bucking/rearing.....
Groom42
Well-Known Member
Can we also revert to a time without euphemisms, where everyone knew EXACTLY what was meant, as there was no need to sex up/prettify/cover up in case some poor person felt discriminated/insecure, or just not damn good enough?
For example (bear with me!).........
Visually Impaired - Blind
Disabled Eligible - Registered Disabled
STI - VD (NOTHING can be a DISEASE now, have you noticed?)
Public Health Hygienist - Dustman
Alcohol Dependant - Alcoholic
Student (U16) - Schoolchild
Young Person - Child
Did not succeed - Failed
And I KNOW this isn't horsy...............I DON'T BLOODY CARE!!!!!
So many more..................
And as for schools............
School - is for Children, up to 16/18
College - is for Students, either those who's school didn't want them in sixth form (maybe they weren't good enough?), or those who want to do vocational, not academic subjects.
College of Higher Education - is for those who are studying a bit more than A Levels, but, again, not up to degree level.
Polytechnic - to study a Degree, but again, not quite good enough for University
University - something special, places gained after years of study, hard work and application in subjects more mentally taxing than Macrame or similar. Reserved for the highest calibre of Students, so when they finally gained their degree, prospective employers could be confident of getting one of the best/elite (sorry to use such a contentious, offensive word as "elite")
Papa Frita - you are right - this is extremely cathartic!
For example (bear with me!).........
Visually Impaired - Blind
Disabled Eligible - Registered Disabled
STI - VD (NOTHING can be a DISEASE now, have you noticed?)
Public Health Hygienist - Dustman
Alcohol Dependant - Alcoholic
Student (U16) - Schoolchild
Young Person - Child
Did not succeed - Failed
And I KNOW this isn't horsy...............I DON'T BLOODY CARE!!!!!
So many more..................
And as for schools............
School - is for Children, up to 16/18
College - is for Students, either those who's school didn't want them in sixth form (maybe they weren't good enough?), or those who want to do vocational, not academic subjects.
College of Higher Education - is for those who are studying a bit more than A Levels, but, again, not up to degree level.
Polytechnic - to study a Degree, but again, not quite good enough for University
University - something special, places gained after years of study, hard work and application in subjects more mentally taxing than Macrame or similar. Reserved for the highest calibre of Students, so when they finally gained their degree, prospective employers could be confident of getting one of the best/elite (sorry to use such a contentious, offensive word as "elite")
Papa Frita - you are right - this is extremely cathartic!
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domane
Well-Known Member
I'm moaning because there are LOADS of things that wind me up and I can't blinkin' think of any at the moment... grrrrrr!
Groom42
Well-Known Member
Sorry - I forgot "Put to Sleep".
Domestic pets get "Put to Sleep"................Horses, and other large animals get "Put Down".
Domestic pets get "Put to Sleep"................Horses, and other large animals get "Put Down".
nativetyponies
Well-Known Member
And can we have a block on inane threads such as...
"Am I too...Fat, Tall, Thin, Wide, Short, Stupid,..for my Horse"
That's All
For Now
"Am I too...Fat, Tall, Thin, Wide, Short, Stupid,..for my Horse"
That's All
For Now
ThePony
Well-Known Member
If we are blocking threads, can we also loose the 'I'm leaving' (well, go on then) ones, and the 'my meanie yo tells me my horse is too fat' (it is too fat, get a grip).
Hippona
Well-Known Member
Right.
Yes...I know 2 of my horses are unrugged....thats because I choose not to rug them.
They are hairy natives that don't get worked much. If I rugged them, they would be the size of a transit van in 5 days. If I clipped them I would have to rug them. I may also have to feed them
Yes, they look scruffy. No, they don't mind and neither do I because come spring when I brush all the hair out they will be out winning rosettes again.
No, they don't mind getting rained on. They also don't mind that its dark by the time I bring them in. They don't mind going out at 6.30am either. They don't mind not being shod because they have lovely strong hooves that my farrier is happy with and they are not footy because I don't feed cereals.
None of this is cruel. If you don't like it, stop riding past my yard and seeing it. Bugger off back to your yard with your fully clipped horse than gets ridden on saturdays only, spend half your day changing 4 layers of rugs about and feeding build-up mix and haylage to keep condition on.
And....breathe.....
Yes...I know 2 of my horses are unrugged....thats because I choose not to rug them.
They are hairy natives that don't get worked much. If I rugged them, they would be the size of a transit van in 5 days. If I clipped them I would have to rug them. I may also have to feed them
Yes, they look scruffy. No, they don't mind and neither do I because come spring when I brush all the hair out they will be out winning rosettes again.
No, they don't mind getting rained on. They also don't mind that its dark by the time I bring them in. They don't mind going out at 6.30am either. They don't mind not being shod because they have lovely strong hooves that my farrier is happy with and they are not footy because I don't feed cereals.
None of this is cruel. If you don't like it, stop riding past my yard and seeing it. Bugger off back to your yard with your fully clipped horse than gets ridden on saturdays only, spend half your day changing 4 layers of rugs about and feeding build-up mix and haylage to keep condition on.
And....breathe.....
SirenaXVI
Well-Known Member
If your horse is rolling around in agony or cannot put any weight on it's damned feet, stop asking people on the bleddy internet, call a vet you complete numpty.
While I am at it:
Get a saddler out, you cannot expect people on the internet to tell you what saddle will fit your horse. Ditto this for bits.
Stop riding your 2yo you complete moron! You WILL break him, literally.
If you feel the need to wear a body protector during a walk/trot test in an arena, on a horse who is dead from the neck up, then perhaps dressage/riding is not for you.
Tying your horse's head down with martingales/draw reins is NOT riding him to an outline! Get some bleddy lessons and stop abusing your horse!
Feeding your horse a handful of chaff and a scoop of pasture mix will NOT help him put weight on stupid!
and................................................breathe
ETA: Oh and btw, I am NOT lucky with my horses, it was hard work and lots of blood sweat and tears that got them that way so bog off!
While I am at it:
Get a saddler out, you cannot expect people on the internet to tell you what saddle will fit your horse. Ditto this for bits.
Stop riding your 2yo you complete moron! You WILL break him, literally.
If you feel the need to wear a body protector during a walk/trot test in an arena, on a horse who is dead from the neck up, then perhaps dressage/riding is not for you.
Tying your horse's head down with martingales/draw reins is NOT riding him to an outline! Get some bleddy lessons and stop abusing your horse!
Feeding your horse a handful of chaff and a scoop of pasture mix will NOT help him put weight on stupid!
and................................................breathe
ETA: Oh and btw, I am NOT lucky with my horses, it was hard work and lots of blood sweat and tears that got them that way so bog off!
The_snoopster
Well-Known Member
Clears throat -
My coloured cob does not give a toss its not related to the famous appleby mare and is not considered to be good enough to be called a "proper" gypsy cob.
And obviously my Newforest pony was totally taking the piss out of me when it took me 2 months to say he was handled after coming off the forest as a colt, he had only 6 months on the forest yet a poster said she had handled, tacked up and rode hers in 1 week after having 5 years running feral. Where did it all go wrong for me ?
There that feels better.
My coloured cob does not give a toss its not related to the famous appleby mare and is not considered to be good enough to be called a "proper" gypsy cob.
And obviously my Newforest pony was totally taking the piss out of me when it took me 2 months to say he was handled after coming off the forest as a colt, he had only 6 months on the forest yet a poster said she had handled, tacked up and rode hers in 1 week after having 5 years running feral. Where did it all go wrong for me ?
There that feels better.