The Grumpy Old Fart, Really Arsey, Tell It Like It Is Thread...

[*hic*]

I think I need to ask permission for the rant I am wanting to post!

so PLEASE PF can special permission for a super angry-keyboard smashy- steam coming out of earholes rant please

*dons PF mask and wig (freely available on Hugglie Horsemanship website*

*assumes PF voice*

Of course you can my child, permission is granted for a super angry-keyboard smashy- steam coming out of earholes rant.

*removes wig and runs out of thread before PF returns*

 

[*hic*]

'ere! How did all those posts get in front of this. They weren't there when I typed it*insert furious smiley*

I'll bet that's just gone and lost me my place*wails*

 

[PapaFrita]

* Pink and fluff will not turn your one eyed donkey into Milton at your local show.

*cough cough cough cough* *blush*

 

[spaniel]

*gulp*

... but PF - your shows arent local....I mean, they couldnt be much further away could they??


*phew - think I may have got away with that one......*

 

[TinselRider]

O.k yo have been warned!
*deep breath*

- No my horses are NOT underweight they are a good - fat if anything!

- Yes I only give my horses one haynet a night and I have done for the last 4 years... still standing upright arent they? they won't kark it just because they have run out of hay halfway through the night!

-Yes I ride with long ish reins just incase you didn't know YOU CAN TURN A HORSE AND BALANCE IT USING YOUR SEAT AND LEGS YOU JACKASS!!!!

- You'll teach my horses what for aye? how about I teach you to run the london marathon in 3 mins flat!.........start running!!!

-No I will NOT go round repeatedly sawing my horse in the gob to "get its head down" an outline comes from impulsion behind, softening of the back and RELAXING through the neck, poll and jaw not yanking its ******ing head in

- Hmm moaning because I am not good enough or to slow.....why the HELL ASK ME TO HELP YOU EVERY G*D DAMN DAY

- No I won't ride my horses 7 days a week if I do not want to I don't particularly fancy having mega fit horses going into winter!

- Doesn't look fashionable to be seen in high vis?? I never knew you could fit a life support machine into your (probably fake) Gucci handbag!

-

*and breathe*

I have restrained myself for now....don't know how much longer for though

 

[PaddyMonty]

* No, magnets do not do magical things to a horses bloodstream, cannot mend ligaments, relax muscles or make Santa come any bloody faster.

I certainly dont wish to offend or even seem to be disagreeing with you. However i must te..........oh b******s, forgot its grumpy in yer face response thread.

personally think yer talking tosh. My old vet was the most cynical bugger I've ever met yet when I asked him if magnats have any benefits he replied "No scentific reason why they should but I've seen too many positive changes during their use to discount them".

If its good enough for a miserable old sod like him then its good enough for me. (with nobs on)

 

[ThePony]

- Doesn't look fashionable to be seen in high vis?? I never knew you could fit a life support machine into your (probably fake) Gucci handbag!

am with you on that one, death is sooooo last year.

 

[PaddyMonty]

am with you on that one, death is sooooo last year.

What utter rubbish. Death is very much 'In' and has been since life began. Some fashions stand the test of time.

 

[ThePony]

chuckle!!

 

[Spudlet]

To all the prats hacking around me in dark clothes - PUT YOUR DAMN HI-VIZ ON! Do I look like I harbour a secret ambition to spend my time picking bits of you and your horse out of my car upholstery??!!!

 

[PapaFrita]

*gulp*

... but PF - your shows arent local....I mean, they couldnt be much further away could they??


*phew - think I may have got away with that one......*

Good save

 

[Flame_]

I don't need much encouragement to have a bit of a moan....

If you have been paying your trainer for ten years and are still riding around on the same twenty metre circle and have yet to progress to going to a prelim unaffiliated dressage, you are wasting your money, you could retain that standard all on your ownsome.

It is not normal to be scared of your horse. Being able to hack out alone, go to a show, go on a farm ride, ride in the wind, etc, etc, are not wild expectations and if you have owned your horse more than a year and are still limited by fear of just getting on with these things, FFS change horses.

Slaughtering healthy horses is no more evil than slaughtering healthy cows.

Carriage driving is not an easy appropriate alternative career for horses too mad to ride.

That's enough for now.

 

[PaddyMonty]

chuckle!!

You laughin at me?

 

[Enfys]

* If you want to arrest the growth of winter coat its no good slinging three heavyweights on it FFS.....leave the bloody lights on all night.

* Its winter....there WILL be mud.

* No, magnets do not do magical things to a horses bloodstream, cannot mend ligaments, relax muscles or make Santa come any bloody faster.

* No matter how complicated or expensive you make your horses feeding regime....he is STILL designed to eat grass and has survived many years by doing this.

* If he is footsore for months because you have taken off his shoes....put the fecking things back on again.

* Rain does NOT make horses dissolve.

* Pink and fluff will not turn your one eyed donkey into Milton at your local show.

PMSL, nice one Spaniel

 

[eahotson]

Mine is Edward Gal and Toto and the ripping apart of same by greedy and totally unprincipled people.I don't CARE if other horses are sold.I don't CARE if they find him another rider.Its about the partnership STUPID.In the good old days it was JOHN WHITAKER and Milton, not John one year, Harvey Smith another and someone else the third.I liked show jumping then.I loathe all horse sports now and will not be suporting any partly because I know too much about what goes on behind the scenes and partly because I don't want to contribute, even indirectly, so much as a half penny to people like P.Shokomole (sp?) or the Visslas.So there!!!!

 

[PapaFrita]

O.k yo have been warned!
*deep breath*

- No my horses are NOT underweight they are a good - fat if anything!

- Yes I only give my horses one haynet a night and I have done for the last 4 years... still standing upright arent they? they won't kark it just because they have run out of hay halfway through the night!

-Yes I ride with long ish reins just incase you didn't know YOU CAN TURN A HORSE AND BALANCE IT USING YOUR SEAT AND LEGS YOU JACKASS!!!!

- You'll teach my horses what for aye? how about I teach you to run the london marathon in 3 mins flat!.........start running!!!

-No I will NOT go round repeatedly sawing my horse in the gob to "get its head down" an outline comes from impulsion behind, softening of the back and RELAXING through the neck, poll and jaw not yanking its ******ing head in

- Hmm moaning because I am not good enough or to slow.....why the HELL ASK ME TO HELP YOU EVERY G*D DAMN DAY

- No I won't ride my horses 7 days a week if I do not want to I don't particularly fancy having mega fit horses going into winter!

- Doesn't look fashionable to be seen in high vis?? I never knew you could fit a life support machine into your (probably fake) Gucci handbag!

-

*and breathe*

I have restrained myself for now....don't know how much longer for though

Exemplary rant. Well done

 

[ThePony]

You laughin at me?

Ahem, no of course not. Tis a grumpy thread and I am grumpy!

 

[PapaFrita]

Mine is Edward Gal and Toto and the ripping apart of same by greedy and totally unprincipled people.I don't CARE if other horses are sold.I don't CARE if they find him another rider.Its about the partnership STUPID.In the good old days it was JOHN WHITAKER and Milton, not John one year, Harvey Smith another and someone else the third.I liked show jumping then.I loathe all horse sports now and will not be suporting any partly because I know too much about what goes on behind the scenes and partly because I don't want to contribute, even indirectly, so much as a half penny to people like P.Shokomole (sp?) or the Visslas.So there!!!!

Ooh, can you tell me then, because I'm clueless. Well, I know about stuff in Argentina, but that doesn't really count, does it? (PM if necessary )

 

[Bluecat45J]

This is like therapy!!

If you send your horse to someone for backing and schooling and then they take it to competitions, and you have had bugger all to do with its training apart from putting it an a trailer and transporting it to said trainer/rider!! DONT pat yourself on the back and say how bl**dy well you have done with your little mare and how much hard work it was!! when you in fact have done naff all!!

and relax...........

 

[catkin]

no, it is not cruel that my horses come into stables overnight - it means they have grass in their paddocks most of the year and don't get too fat.

yes, that is a double bridle my horse is wearing - no she is not difficult to stop, no I do not think it is cruel - we both are schooled enough to know how to use it and she likes it

yes, my native pony with no shoes on can do everything yours can - and the reason she can is that we feed and exercise her in the way that suits HER!


Good here innit

 

[Lanky Loll]

Love this can I join in?
YES it's a standardbred - looks a bit like a small TB doesn't it?
YES it's legs do move differently - that's because they have an additional gait.
YES they do pace naturally as foals at foot with their mum.
NO we haven't tied their legs together to force them to do it.
YES they can canter / gallop / trot as well.
NO they're not schooled as riders so when you get on they may not understand leg aids or may not turn as well as your expecting, or canter a 20metre circle HOWEVER like any other horse they can and will learn given time and patience - just treat them like a baby to start with - you wouldn't expect that of them would you?!?
NO we're not all of the travelling community, we don't race on roads and we don't drive youngsters stop trying to tarr us all with the same brush!
phew that feels a bit better.

 

[Foxy53]

Why do I feel sorry for the Parrelli-ite horses in the menage when I come back from a hairy gallop over the stuble..........

 

[SirenaXVI]

And another thing!

Just because you bought a horse already trained in High School, does not make you an advanced rider, especially when you have not even completed a novice test. This fact is patently clear when you look at the collection of plaster casts adorning various parts of your anatomy.

 

[SirenaXVI]

This is like therapy!!

If you send your horse to someone for backing and schooling and then they take it to competitions, and you have had bugger all to do with its training apart from putting it an a trailer and transporting it to said trainer/rider!! DONT pat yourself on the back and say how bl**dy well you have done with your little mare and how much hard work it was!! when you in fact have done naff all!!

and relax...........

Ooh that annoys me too *claps*

 

[Zebedee]

Mine is Edward Gal and Toto and the ripping apart of same by greedy and totally unprincipled people.I don't CARE if other horses are sold.I don't CARE if they find him another rider.Its about the partnership STUPID.In the good old days it was JOHN WHITAKER and Milton, not John one year, Harvey Smith another and someone else the third.I liked show jumping then.I loathe all horse sports now and will not be suporting any partly because I know too much about what goes on behind the scenes and partly because I don't want to contribute, even indirectly, so much as a half penny to people like P.Shokomole (sp?) or the Visslas.So there!!!!

I have to admit to wondering though would the outcry over the sale of Totilias been quite as vociferous if he'd have been coming to the UK for someone like Carl or Laura to ride................

 

[PaddyMonty]

I have to admit to wondering though would the outcry over the sale of Totilias been quite as vociferous if he'd have been coming to the UK for someone like Carl or Laura to ride................

Please stop trying to confuse people with the facts.

 

[martlin]

I have to admit to wondering though would the outcry over the sale of Totilias been quite as vociferous if he'd have been coming to the UK for someone like Carl or Laura to ride................

Course not There wasn't an outcry when CH took over Liebling, was there? Nothing of this partnership bollox applies to Anna Ross-Davies

 

[Hippona]

And another thing!

Just because you bought a horse already trained in High School, does not make you an advanced rider, especially when you have not even completed a novice test. This fact is patently clear when you look at the collection of plaster casts adorning various parts of your anatomy.

Indeed.....also, if you see an ex-eventer with BE points advertised at a stupidly low price then its for a reason. When your daughter can't ride it, and you can't handle it....perhaps stop stuffing it full of cereals/haylage and leaving it in its stable for 23 hours a day.....

 

[spottybotty]

NO NO NO just because you have your NVQ1 and 2 and a Diploma in Horse management does not mean you are qualified to teach! I know you did 3mths work experience with Tim Stockdale but obviously you did not learn much as you can only get your horse in an outline (I use that term loosley) With a magennis bit and draw reins!You are qualified to shovel **** end of.

 

[scatty_mare]

Just because your horse is well behaved and sound on sedalin and bute does not mean he should be taken hunting twice a week.
And no I would not like to 'teach' him to hack out on his own on a busy A road for you. I can see that you have lost your confidence on him since this bucking and napping started but perhaps he wouldn't object to being ridden so much if he wasn't in pain!
Stop drugging the animal, strapping him down with gadgets and paying people to ride him through it and call the ***** vet for ***** sake!

ETA I enjoyed that!