SatansLittleHelper
Well-Known Member
.....since trying to buy a bloody horse...!!!!
(Still no horse, still attempting to save...please no links to horses, much as the help is appreciated my brain is fried..!!!)
1. People are full of 💩. The blatant lies I've been told and excuses/reasons for sale make me truly believe that alot of these people missed their calling in the creative writing sector. Seriously.
Example: Viewing horse...owner says yeah she's lovely but can have the odd moodswing, you know what mares are like. Friend wanders by and says to owner you sold that crazy f+cker of yours yet? Owner laughs it off as "friend" (probably EX friend at this point) procedes to tell us how this "lovely" mare wouldn't be too shabby a rodeo horse from time to time. Owner says it was just once...blah blah no thank you very much..!!!🙈🙈🙈
2. People will sell ANYTHING.
Example: Went to view horse, and as I'm trying it out my accompanying friend spots a sad looking horse being led past. She comments he looks sweet etc and owner proceeds to tell her that it's 27 years old etc and if my friend is interested she can have it for £300..!!!!😥😥😥
3. People LOVE their horses...until they don't.
Example: 345,5677,775 adverts everywhere of "much loved, soul mate, horse of a lifetime" types that are 400 years old and need more medication than your incontinent, diabetic, asthmatic Granny that need a "loving, forever home" because the owners either don't give a shit or dont have the balls to do the right thing.🤬🤬🤬
4. People do NOT sell ugly horses. Ever. Clearly the thought of selling a horse with a face as rough as a badger's arse is incomprehensible, not to mention that ugly horses are clearly very untalented ...
Example: No good horse ad starts with "ugly as sin/face only a mother could love/suit blind person". No siree, horses that are sold are ONLY "stunning/beautiful/eyecatching/talented/incredible" etc etc...as a nation of horse lovers we are clearly committed to saving the eyeballs of the local community by keeping the ugly, mediocre and/or talentless mules under wraps...where they belong. ðŸ‘😳
5. Alot of people wont know this but an awful lot of sellers are actually highly qualified undercover vet assessors/critics etc...you know, bit like a mystery shopper. This is kept firmly to themselves right up until their horse "fails" the vet....then they leap out in all their glory...surprise..!!!!!
Example: Your vet talks shit/doesn't know what he's talking about//vettings are a waste of money....you get my drift 🙄🙄🙄
6. People have no idea how big their horse really is.
Example: I went to view a 3/4 ID that was "definitely" 16.3hh. Great, thinks me...gets to yard and is greeting by Bilbo Baggins and his trusty steed. All 15.2 of him 🙄🙄🙄 Also, I think his mother "might" have been sniffed by an ID once but clearly he swiped left...
I'm sure others will have had equally "interesting" experiences....feel free to add yours, I could do with cheering up..!!! 😂😂😂😂😂
(Still no horse, still attempting to save...please no links to horses, much as the help is appreciated my brain is fried..!!!)
1. People are full of 💩. The blatant lies I've been told and excuses/reasons for sale make me truly believe that alot of these people missed their calling in the creative writing sector. Seriously.
Example: Viewing horse...owner says yeah she's lovely but can have the odd moodswing, you know what mares are like. Friend wanders by and says to owner you sold that crazy f+cker of yours yet? Owner laughs it off as "friend" (probably EX friend at this point) procedes to tell us how this "lovely" mare wouldn't be too shabby a rodeo horse from time to time. Owner says it was just once...blah blah no thank you very much..!!!🙈🙈🙈
2. People will sell ANYTHING.
Example: Went to view horse, and as I'm trying it out my accompanying friend spots a sad looking horse being led past. She comments he looks sweet etc and owner proceeds to tell her that it's 27 years old etc and if my friend is interested she can have it for £300..!!!!😥😥😥
3. People LOVE their horses...until they don't.
Example: 345,5677,775 adverts everywhere of "much loved, soul mate, horse of a lifetime" types that are 400 years old and need more medication than your incontinent, diabetic, asthmatic Granny that need a "loving, forever home" because the owners either don't give a shit or dont have the balls to do the right thing.🤬🤬🤬
4. People do NOT sell ugly horses. Ever. Clearly the thought of selling a horse with a face as rough as a badger's arse is incomprehensible, not to mention that ugly horses are clearly very untalented ...
Example: No good horse ad starts with "ugly as sin/face only a mother could love/suit blind person". No siree, horses that are sold are ONLY "stunning/beautiful/eyecatching/talented/incredible" etc etc...as a nation of horse lovers we are clearly committed to saving the eyeballs of the local community by keeping the ugly, mediocre and/or talentless mules under wraps...where they belong. ðŸ‘😳
5. Alot of people wont know this but an awful lot of sellers are actually highly qualified undercover vet assessors/critics etc...you know, bit like a mystery shopper. This is kept firmly to themselves right up until their horse "fails" the vet....then they leap out in all their glory...surprise..!!!!!
Example: Your vet talks shit/doesn't know what he's talking about//vettings are a waste of money....you get my drift 🙄🙄🙄
6. People have no idea how big their horse really is.
Example: I went to view a 3/4 ID that was "definitely" 16.3hh. Great, thinks me...gets to yard and is greeting by Bilbo Baggins and his trusty steed. All 15.2 of him 🙄🙄🙄 Also, I think his mother "might" have been sniffed by an ID once but clearly he swiped left...
I'm sure others will have had equally "interesting" experiences....feel free to add yours, I could do with cheering up..!!! 😂😂😂😂😂