The things non-horsey people say......

A non- horsey farmer cousin of mine got given a horse, and told me he was thinking of opening his own riding stable. Trying not to show how horrified I was, I looked at the pics of his new horse. I said 'what height is he? About 15.2?' To which he replied 'oh, nowhere near as big as that, he's about 14.5 or 6' <eek>
 
My favourite is the time we were at a competition when the parking was actually on the road in a large park/wood in Brussels that is closed to traffic on Sundays, except when this yard had a competition, and then only for trailers/lorries. So you get a lot of people walking, skateboarding, bicycling past, especially parents and kids. We were getting ready our 17.2hh very elegant well-bred Trakehner mare when one mum and anklebiter came along. "Oh maman, just look at the donkey!!" My daughters' highly insulted face was a picture!!! Oh I wish I'd had a camera handy that day!!
 
annagain said:
My favourite though was my friend's little boy who came have a ride on my boy (same old git but he was a darling with kids!). After we turned him out, he had a wee in the field and they little boy said very excitedly. "Mummy he's got a fold-away willy, can I have one!"
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Snorted tea all over kitchen :)
 
Not had any corkers from my OH yet but he's always taking the mick and asking when I'll get a proper size horse (I own a 14.1hh pony)
He soon changed his tune when I pointed out the size of haynet that goes with a 'proper size horse' and what it would cost to feed.
 
My non horsey mother has alzheimers. Every time I tell her I have a lesson she always says, "surely you could be giving lessons by now". I think it's sweet, always makes me smile. And when I tell people I have a horse I am always surprised that people think it's a race horse.
 
annagain said:
My favourite though was my friend's little boy who came have a ride on my boy (same old git but he was a darling with kids!). After we turned him out, he had a wee in the field and they little boy said very excitedly. "Mummy he's got a fold-away willy, can I have one!"
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Wouldn't we all like a handy fold away willy.
 
I have a 16yo 32" shetland for company for my others - i couldnt tell you how many non horsey people have asked how big he'll be when he grows up....
 
Me (to non-horsey mother): I'm having a riding lesson tomorrow
NHM: Do you still need lessons? You've been riding since you were 10
Me: Even instructors have lessons. You could have a lesson every day of your life and still not know it all
NHM: Really? I just thought you had to learn to steer, and then you knew it all
Me: Sigh....

So, if anybody wants to take me on for the next Olympics please get in touch. I'm sure I steer just as well as Charlotte :D
 
I was having a lesson on my old skewbald gelding a few years ago and my sister was watching, holding my young niece up so she could see. Every time I rode past I heard a little 'moooooooo!' She was convinced he was a cow because he had patches! She is eleven now and has her own pony, I'm not sure if she still remembers that horse as a cow though!
 
My parents came to meet my horse for the first time 2 weeks ago. Being a nice daughter I cooked up a nice Sunday lunch of roast duck with all the trimmings before we visited the yard. I said (pointing pretty obviously at the roast carrots and parsnips) that it was a shame I had covered them in pepper, as the horse would have quite liked some.

My mother proceeded to look very shocked and exclaimed 'I didn't realise that horses ate ducks!!'

Needless to say both my dad and I burst out laughing at her and couldn't stop for a good few minutes.
 
My pony is coloured and my instructor calls her the cow pony, hence my name on here. One day some of the kids at the riding school asked why she was called cow pony, and the instructor said she was a pony crossed with a cow, that's why she's black and white. And they believed her!:D
 
Illusion100 said:
Non-horsey Equine Insurance Underwriter put Narcolepsy on Policy Exclusion. Queried it and they stated the horse was described by Policyholder as 'Nappy'. Wasn't sure whether to laugh or cry!
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Lmao!! Just made the OH jump by bursting out laughing. He wasn't too impressed but had a little chuckle when I explained :) did you manage to get the exclusion taken off?
 
pipper said:
One know it all chap was talking to me about horses - we were in a group of people - one asked what the difference between a horse and a pony was......
His answer:
A baby horse is a fowl?????!!!!
Then it becomes a Shetland.
Then it turns into a pony.
It then is a horse......
And when it's fully grown and old it becomes a SHIRE!!!!!
Oh how I laughed!!!!
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I am literally crying with laughter at this!!!!!
A 'fowl' that turns into a Shetland!?!?! Pmsl
 
We had a young horse and she hated the vet ,she was due her vaccinations so I was telling my dad about her and he said ,wait till she goes to sleep and then do them .
 
My friend was asked by a man are duvets any good for horses so my friend said yes thinking to her self I can use them under the stable rugs in winter,when he came back with the duvets he looked over the stable door and said I am not sure if these are big enough to cover a floor that size.
 
BellaBoyzie92 said:
Lmao!! Just made the OH jump by bursting out laughing. He wasn't too impressed but had a little chuckle when I explained :) did you manage to get the exclusion taken off?
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Yes indeed! Although trying to explain to Underwriters without creasing over in hysterics was challenging.... ;)

Had other silly exclusions removed but my second favourite was an Exclusion for Sweet itch and any allergic reaction to insect bites, mites/lice etc as the horse was 'Flea bitten'. Also horses are never 'white' in colour classification and there is no such thing as a 'Left behind leg'.....lol!
 
ibot said:
I told a friend years ago that I was buying a Friesian and her response was Your buying a cow!! hmm and she was a horsey friend
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The funny thing about this is that a Friesian cow is actually a Holstein. Lol also I had the same thing happen when a friend bought a beautiful Friesian mare and her dad asked if that was one of those cows that look like they can't decide what colour they are. I also had a non farm/equine friend ask what type of sheep is a ram. I tried to explain that male sheep are commonly known as a ram but the actual word that is used at livestock shows is a tup, she left confused and told her OH that a ram was the ones you find on the Scottish hills with the swirly horns. Buckled over laughing!
 
littleshetland said:
AAhh yes - arena mirrors - the source of many amusing comments. "Do they really like looking at themselves? they must be terribly vain!"

Well, in some cases - yes!
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my mare does - she has a tantrum if i ask her to move on when shes not finished looking at herself...!



the best one was this week speaking to an evidently non horsey person saying how naughty my horse was...


"ohhh did you run her at cheltenham ? did she not win? "

shes a 14.2 coloured sports horse. lol
 
I was getting ready for my lesson the other day and got ' I thought you could already horse ride' hahaha so funny and at school I always got the ' can't you just them loads of food and water and not go everyday!'
 
Slightly worrying one as the person has worked in racing near enough his whole life so should know a bit about horses!!
He came up to me a few weeks ago and asked if I knew what a micklemore bridle was...? After he explained what he had been told one was I discovered he meant a hackamore. Didn't think too much about it as not everyone in racing is familiar with hackamores and told him where he could get one, after explaining he just needed to get the noseband part rather than a whole New bridle.
A few days later he told me he had bought one and asked how to use it. I explained how to fit it etc and then he asked "will I need to put a cross noseband (grackle) underneath it?" *headdesk* Erm, no!! He thought he'd need it as his horses way of evading the bit was to open her mouth and he thought she would do that with a hackamore too. I explained why he wouldn't need a grackle and he just said, "Oh yeah.." It was all I could do not to laugh at him!!

My mum is un-horsey, though she does occasionally try, and one day she was brushing Ethels legs. She called me over, sounding all worried, and asked me why she had scars on all her legs. I asked what she meant and she pointed at her chestnuts. "Look! What has she done to herself to get scars like that?!!" I did laugh at her and explain what they were!
 
When I evented;
''Are you worth a bet on? What are your odds?''
umm, no, it isn't a race.
''How can you win, if it isn't a race?''

Sigh...
 
These are brilliant!

I was at a big local summer show last year. Was watching my friend's daughter in the first ridden class so lots of small children on small ponies. A man standing next to me asked 'Are they foals they're riding?'

I had to try very hard to contain my giggles!

My friend in work the other day asked if I raced my horse or did point to points on him :) he is an appy (x with something) and 15hh so no not quite what he'd be doing lol

Was chatting to a guy in college on part time degree I'm doing about my horse and he was asking questions, most of them quite normal but then asked did they have central heating in the horses' stables and when I said no, he asked 'but does he not get really cold?'
 
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