Turned away due to my weight :(

I'm not going to read all these pages but I feel for anyone put in that embarrassing situation. I think your instructor has been very nice to offer you help to lose weight whilst learning with the horses and being positive and supportive.

Don't take it personally, It's just practicality. Horses only come up to about 17 or 18 hands generally, and whilst a big boned type probably could carry you fine, that doesn't mean the riding school has one, or that that horse should be expected to do it for 8 hours a day if it has a few other heavy riders.

I am a bigger person but I understand that just as bridges have maximum weights and cars have maximum towing capacity, a horse cannot carry more because it doesn't want you to feel bad or self conscious, and that 15 stone is not a limit that would be considered underweight or unattainable for even a tall, heavy boned person.
 
19 stone and 5'7, I can't actually imagine that but I'm not surprised the riding school said you couldn't ride their horses. I can't think what the previous RI was thinking in allowing you to ride on the size/type of horses you mention. Taking the new RI up on her offer, good idea. Buying your own horse, bad idea.
 
Cherrydan said:
Okay, just to say, I am a humanistic counsellor/therapist. .
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If that's true it's the most depressing thing I've read for a while. I truly pity any vulnerable person in your "care". You should be ashamed of your comments on this thread. Please don't bother to reply, I'm leaving this thread and putting you in UI so I won't have to see any more of your posts.

I have rarely felt so disgusted with anyone here.
 
FionaM12 said:
If that's true it's the most depressing thing I've read for a while. I truly pity any vulnerable person in your "care". You should be ashamed of your comments on this thread. Please don't bother to reply, I'm leaving this thread and putting you in UI so I won't have to see any more of your posts.

I have rarely felt so disgusted with anyone here.
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Totally agree, off to find the ignore feature
 
OP you've said you don't have a lot of time to exercise. Many people don't. However you could make anything into exercise. Stepping while doing dishes. Running up steps. Dancing to music while cleaning. Just keep moving. I get that you're happy with your weight. But sometimes you have to realise it's not fair as in this situation, to inflict on a horse.

As far as diet, maybe you have an intolerance to something. Doesn't mean you're an overeater. So it may not be having to ditch everything and only eat salads.

Best of luck and I hope I haven't been insesitive.

Terri
 
It is not a divine right to be able to ride a horse - it's a privilege. Have some respect for a living, breathing, sensate being and lose several stone before even contemplating getting back in the saddle again.
 
goldenmint said:
In all honesty if you feel hefty at just over 10 stone as you say then you may need some professional help, I wouldn't like to say you have an eating disorder as I don't know you but to feel hefty at your weight and height would normally point to a problem.
.
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What an absolutely absurd comment.

Lady25 i am the same height as you and also feel hefty at 10 st, normally around 9st.

OP you've had some very good advise, please take it for the sake of any horse you may ride.
 
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Your instructor sounds very fair. In the nicest way it honesty sounds as if you've been given an opportunity here to do some thing positive about the situation. At 27 you are still young and being on the heavier side the advantage to this is that if you are focused you will find that the weight shifts more quickly than for someone who is lighter I'm about 12.5 stone and would love to be 11.5 but for love of god I can not shift that stone, AND I'm in training for a 1/2 marathon with regular runs of no less than 10km. When i was pregnant with each three kids I was around 15 stone and over 16 at my heaviest.

Getting the ground work and experience that you are being offered is a fabulous opportunity, which your fellow riding school friends won't be getting. Please don't pretend to yourself that you are perfectly happy the weight you are because you obviously aren't and don't think that the easiest solution is to go and buy a horse of your own because that is just going to cause more problems.

Take this as the chance that is being given. Anyone can lose weight if they are focused and positive and are supported by the right people. You won't regret it but you will regret not trying. Ignore the silly comments like the fool earlier in this thread, that's someone with more issues than just weight loss! Stay positive and believe that it's possible to achieve this and it's quite possible that you will lose that weight by November and be back in the saddle by Christmas. It's not long!!
 
I cannot believe some of the completely heartless and crude comments on this thread.

OP, I wholeheartedly agree with your new RI. Think of it as a challenge! And to be able to help out with the horses in other ways is fab and will really be useful when you eventually get your own - I wish I had the chance to lunge and long rein when i was at a ridig school, what a fabulous opportunity.

In regards to getting your own now - livery yards can be incredibly bitchy and cruel and I can imagine a situation like yours would cause a lot of commotion on certain yards.

Some of the advice given here is great - please ignore all of the rude comments they are not helpful nor wanted. This could be a start to a whole new you and I wish you the best of luck x
 
I would use the time that you would usually be spending riding (assuming this is approximately an hour or two) to either take up the offer from the instructor and /or to take up some other form of exercise. Taking the stairs instead of the lift...walking instead of driving will all help....things like that to start with
Good luck
 
I think it is too heavy. However I'm not going to say what to do about it because I've had people make helpful suggestions such as "eat less pies" and "do more exercise" when actually I couldn't fit in more exercise and a better diet if I tried! I'm not light at all and over the limit for riding schools (round here it's usually 12 stone)
Eating more protein and less carbs/sugar helps me feel fuller, and you have to find what works for you and what is manageable long term
 
OP take the offer of your instructor. find the real joy of just being around horses not just the riding . use it to help focus on losing weight and getting even more enjoyment . I love just simply mucking out and the pleasure if seeing a well laid bed :)
 
Jellybabie said:
I guess I just felt a bit miffed as I have ridden there along time and only now have I been told not to ride. All the horses have been fine with me on them. I might just get my own horse now as I'm happy with my current weight. The only reason I didn't get my own horse before was because my old instructor said to wait a bit but she has gone now :(
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Understandably you are miffed - you possibly don't look the weight which would be why you've been able to ride in the past.

At my own school I had a weight limit of 13 stone - the school horses often get ridden by people who's balance is not so good and they may land heavily in the saddle.

While you may be happy with your weight - please really think about trying to lose some! I'm overweight now and it's really hitting my joints hard now and I didn't put my weight on until I was in my late 40's.
 
I didn't go today. Nor am I a troll. I am a genuine novice who didn't know any better. I came on this forum to look for answers and reasons. Not to be slated. I am giving up horses now. I feel extremely hurt by some comments and do not wish to be a part of this forum or even be associated with such mean horsey people. It's no wonder horse riding isn't at the top of everyone's lists anymore if this is what novices get greeted with.

Many thanks to the genuinely nice people on here for your advice and information. I do feel bad for the horses now but had never known it was wrong. But that doesn't matter now as like I said I'm giving up for now.

Sarah
 
Don't give up. Use it as something to motivate you. If your dream is to own your own horse, get fit and go for it. It's in your hands and you can do it. Use the comments that hurt you as something to spur you on. If you give up at the first hurdle you will never get there. Come back in a year and post how you've lost weight, got fitter and now have your own horse to enjoy.
 
Jellybabie said:
I didn't go today. Nor am I a troll. I am a genuine novice who didn't know any better. I came on this forum to look for answers and reasons. Not to be slated. I am giving up horses now. I feel extremely hurt by some comments and do not wish to be a part of this forum or even be associated with such mean horsey people. It's no wonder horse riding isn't at the top of everyone's lists anymore if this is what novices get greeted with.

Many thanks to the genuinely nice people on here for your advice and information. I do feel bad for the horses now but had never known it was wrong. But that doesn't matter now as like I said I'm giving up for now.

Sarah
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You know my thoughts on the horrid posters of this thread already Sarah, but I must reiterate, for every one idiot on here, there are dozens of lovely and fab posters....we also have an ignore user function so you can just never have to see any posts by those people.

Have a think about it. You are a novice and you didn't know. So it is not for you to feel bad about anything. You do know now, so you can, if you want to, do something about it. It's your choice, but if you do love horses and want to do something, don't delete your account. You've had some great advice here from some lovely members. Keep your membership and just PM the people whose opinion you value on here and you can have a great deal of support if and when you need it.

Hope you are ok.
xx
 
Jellybabie said:
I didn't go today. Nor am I a troll. I am a genuine novice who didn't know any better. I came on this forum to look for answers and reasons. Not to be slated. I am giving up horses now. I feel extremely hurt by some comments and do not wish to be a part of this forum or even be associated with such mean horsey people. It's no wonder horse riding isn't at the top of everyone's lists anymore if this is what novices get greeted with.

Many thanks to the genuinely nice people on here for your advice and information. I do feel bad for the horses now but had never known it was wrong. But that doesn't matter now as like I said I'm giving up for now.



It's very silly to give up learning something you what to do because you are upset by some comments of people on the Internet.
Your wieght is a huge issue if you are learning to ride not only is it extremely bad for the horses but it's bad for you too if you fall from the horse ( and everybody does at some point ) the heavier you the more likely you are to be injured .
Address the issue and continue to learn and enjoy
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Jellybabie said:
I didn't go today. Nor am I a troll. I am a genuine novice who didn't know any better. I came on this forum to look for answers and reasons. Not to be slated. I am giving up horses now. I feel extremely hurt by some comments and do not wish to be a part of this forum or even be associated with such mean horsey people. It's no wonder horse riding isn't at the top of everyone's lists anymore if this is what novices get greeted with.

Many thanks to the genuinely nice people on here for your advice and information. I do feel bad for the horses now but had never known it was wrong. But that doesn't matter now as like I said I'm giving up for now.

Sarah
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Oh that's sad, I'm so sorry you feel that way. This thread isn't really a true representation of horsey people. If you can give it a go I really would try the long reining lessons - long reining well is a fantastic skill, I've even met horses that were trained to Advanced level dressage almost entirely using long reins, being ridden a maximum of once a week. It really is a fantastic thing to get into if you have the opportunity
 
hollybear said:
What an absolutely absurd comment.

Lady25 i am the same height as you and also feel hefty at 10 st, normally around 9st.

OP you've had some very good advise, please take it for the sake of any horse you may ride.[/QUOTE


I can 100% guarantee my comment was not absurd.
You need to learn that people on the internet are just that and we all have jobs,lives etc and may know more about certain things than you. Instead of being a keyboard warrior and showing your ignorance learn to let other people who might know more than you have an opinion.

The OP does need to loose weight and has been given some very good advice, comments of how people feel hefty at 10 stone is just ridiculous and only made for attention.
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Jellybabie said:
I guess I just felt a bit miffed as I have ridden there along time and only now have I been told not to ride. All the horses have been fine with me on them. I might just get my own horse now as I'm happy with my current weight. The only reason I didn't get my own horse before was because my old instructor said to wait a bit but she has gone now :(
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You may be happy with your weight, but a horse certainly wouldn't be. Getting your own horse may solve YOUR problem, but what about the poor horse? Sorry, but your attitude is selfish.
 
Jellybabie said:
Thank you galaxy. That is interesting. I guess I need to make the decision between riding again and weight. The instructor said at 16 stone (I'd have to 16 including a saddle and gear) the school could offer me two horses to ride. My dream has always been a 15.2 heavyweight cob ( this is the horse I feel most comfy on) what would be an ideal weight for that? I want to do low key competitions?

Also I have not a lot of time to exercise and to be honest I don't have the motivation but horse related is fine! Any ideas for weight loss involving horses. Instructor said I could lead out ponies for hacks with small children, lunge, long line (what is this?)
She said if I am willing to help she will add up my hours and it will amount to some free lessons when I'm slimmer
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Your instructor sounds really nice and like she's trying to help. One thing that's great for weightloss is mucking out! Big deep straw beds are the best, or forking up the muck heap for a few hours every day, that really shifts the weight. I have a 15.1 cob and I wouldn't be happy with anyone over 14 stone on her, even that I wouldn't let happen regularly. You might think the horses have been fine with you but any problems would build up over time and you wouldn't be aware of a problem until it's too late. If you want to get your own horse this will still be a great opportunity as you will learn ground skills and get better at handling horses for the day you get your own
 
mucking out - 354cal/h

general riding - 236cal/h

grooming - 354cal/h

sweeping 472cal/h

walking across an uneven field - 354cal/h

brisk walk leading a pony 236cal/h

As you can see, its easy to loose the calories you eat at the yard whilst you're there :) I use a pedometer and a calorie counting app on my iPhone which helps me keep on top of everything. If I have a treat, my horse gets one too - like a walk round the village in hand or a really good groom.
 
It's a shame you feel that way OP sometimes you have to wade through the bad to get to the good and there were some genuine posters with good advice.

Don't let some people put you off something you want to do, your instructor offered you a good deal and it would be a good learning experience for you never the less.
 
Just come onto this thread, Have not read all the comments but I have gained the gist of it.

OP your weight on a horse of 16hh is IMO to much it would be a little different if it was a 17.3 horse big built like a chicken house. But under 16 hh is too much for a horse.

There have been some cruel mean post by a few and a few sympathetic ones too, Fiona surprised me in this with the post she wrote (it must be the sweet chocolate I made her last week) made her all sweet and kind :D

Seriously though ignore the mean posts, we don't know your story why your over weight whether is genetic health related etc, that alone would make someone vulnerable and get upset. What ever the reason for you being a little heavy for small horses.
If the Instructor says your to heavy, why not consider working up at the yard, this way your being with horses and will lose a little while you work. Will power is very hard sometimes to get motivated into doing something.
What does your doctor think? can they put you on one of these healthy diets, as your at risk to diabetes and heart disease too. For your own sake try to get fitter you will feel a lot better, I myself feel horrid at my weight so just ordered alli pills again,
on these before I lost 3 stone.


Some will be shocked at you saying you rode a 14 2 pony. This forum does have a few opinionated members, but then it has some genuine ones too. You have to take the rough with the smooth on here.:)
 
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Weight posts always seem to go the same way on here, if the OP was genuine I wish her all the best in her endeavours and I found the calorie/ph post that Dales Pony made very useful. I feel doing the daily horse chores help me keep my weight somewhat under control, though it is unlikely I will ever be 10 stone.

My weight got to 19.7 stone a couple of years back, no one could have made me feel worse than I felt myself, though I was able to walk around live a normal life. Through a series of medical issues I had to change my diet and once I had shed 3 stone I was lucky to have a friend with a horse that could carry me and I began my riding career, it was the best thing I ever did, I lost a further stone and a half and I bought my own lovely horse who is happy to carry me. You will get there OP!
 
Jellybabie said:
Thank you everyone bar bestdogdash! I was completely un aware so I didn't think a horse could be incapable of carrying me!
To be fair I was upset but my instructor said to have a think and be at the stables at 9am tomorrow if I want to take up her offer. She was a plus sized lady herself and said she lost all the weight, she sold her horse as she was too heavy and brought a foal which she looked after alongside losing weight an 10 years later he is the most amazing horse and she rides all types of horses and ponies!
All though I don't think I should get a foal!
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I think she has offered you a great opportunity, and sounds like a brilliant person to be around. Riding isn't the be all and end all, you'll be there before you know it :) x
 
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