Vegan boyfriend...and hunting....

[Meredith]

It’s nice that he loves animals so much, that’s great, but tbh he doesn’t sound like much FUN. And as a middle-aged married person, mostly happily married to the same man for a number of years, if I can pass on any wisdom to the younger generations about relationships, it would be that you don’t have to have the same interests at all, but you do need to find someone who doesn’t take life too seriously.

I agree too. A friend once remarked to me “ I couldn’t understand how you and ( insert name of beloved husband of over 40 years) got together as you seem to have nothing in common then I realised how much you laugh together”

 

[Dave's Mam]

I agree too. A friend once remarked to me “ I couldn’t understand how you and ( insert name of beloved husband of over 40 years) got together as you seem to have nothing in common then I realised how much you laugh together”

That's just it.

 

[Ellietotz]

I'm not certain that the reason he is being an a$$ is because he's vegan. I think he does that all by himself! I'd tell him to P off if he told me how to live my life! Plus, if my OH started telling me that horses should be schooled and this and that, I would tell him to shut the hell up talking about something he knows nothing about. Can you imagine how he would react if you started telling him how to be vegan and that he is doing it wrong? Blimey.. could you imagine if you had to get your horse scoped or something that required starvation beforehand too? All hell would break loose! I'm in the dump him club too! Sorry!

 

[Jellymoon]

Well, I could have been even more incisive and said: ‘ditch him, he sounds like a boring old fart’ (literally!)

 

[Toby_Zaphod]

I heard something the other day........ How can you tell when someone you meet is Vegan?.......... Within the first few minutes of conversation they will tell you!

They seem to be a group who wish to throw their beliefs on everyone & anyone that will listen to them. They will not listen to any argument against their belief & argue that they hold the moral ground. I have a daughter who is vegan, she knows now not to try & hoist her beliefs on anyone without them initiating the debate.

 

[Fidgety]

A neighbouring village is under threat of a meat processing/incineration plant re-locating there and there is a very active local protest group on FB - one vegan put up a waspish post wondering if all those who were against were vegans(!). The company has already ruined one village locally thanks to the lorries, the dripping of fluids onto the roads, the smell and the flies, but the holier than thou assumption that to not want something like that on your doorstep is hypocritical if you eat meat was quite something.

I wonder if in their quest to convert the world and his dog, they have ever thought about what the world would do with all the redundant farm animals and ancient breeds if they succeeded? Would they be put in zoos, kept as pets or allowed to become extinct?

 

[Fidgety]

Double post

 

[Ambers Echo]

The problem isn't that he's vegan. I have a great vegan friend who never imposes her views on others. I also have a totally hippy Aunt who rescues Dartmoor ponies due for slaughter every year after the drift and leaves them feral on her land as they are 'free spirits'. She thoroughly disapproves of riding horses but would never try to convert anyone to her own view point. My daughter has been vegetarian since she was 8 years old when I presented the family with a roast chicken. "But mummy it's a CHICKEN" Yes, love it's chicken.... "No you don't understand it's actually a REAL CHICKEN" Lol. She is in a carnivorous foodie family but I fully respect her choice.

The problem is this man is dictating what YOU can do. Your first post says you have tried every argument under the sun but you can't convince him. Well so what. You don't have to convince him! You can do what you want. You don't need his permission or his blessing to follow a childhood dream or pursue an interest. If he thinks you do then THAT is the problem. Today whether you hunt and what you wear, tomorrow how much you spend and what you drink, next month who you can be friends with........ Seen it happen.

You don't necessarily have to dump him but you do (I think) need to re-negotiate the terms of this relationship. He is NOT allowed to tell you what you can and can't do. Especially when his objections aren't even rational as bloodhounds don't kill foxes. I did tell my OH that if he ate fillet of foal on honeymoon which was the special of the day at our hotel it would be the shortest marriage in history. I was not serious of course but out of respect for me he declined it. Mutual respect for each other's feelings and beliefs is one thing. Dictatorship is another. Be careful. X

 

[Meredith]

The problem isn't that he's vegan. I have a great vegan friend who never imposes her views on others. I also have a totally hippy Aunt who rescues Dartmoor ponies due for slaughter every year after the drift and leaves them feral on her land as they are 'free spirits'. She thoroughly disapproves of riding horses but would never try to convert anyone to her own view point. My daughter has been vegetarian since she was 8 years old when I presented the family with a roast chicken. "But mummy it's a CHICKEN" Yes, love it's chicken.... "No you don't understand it's actually a REAL CHICKEN" Lol. She is in a carnivorous foodie family but I fully respect her choice.

The problem is this man is dictating what YOU can do. Your first post says you have tried every argument under the sun but you can't convince him. Well so what. You don't have to convince him! You can do what you want. You don't need his permission or his blessing to follow a childhood dream or pursue an interest. If he thinks you do then THAT is the problem. Today whether you hunt and what you wear, tomorrow how much you spend and what you drink, next month who you can be friends with........ Seen it happen.

You don't necessarily have to dump him but you do (I think) need to re-negotiate the terms of this relationship. He is NOT allowed to tell you what you can and can't do. Especially when his objections aren't even rational as bloodhounds don't kill foxes. I did tell my OH that if he ate fillet of foal on honeymoon which was the special of the day at our hotel it would be the shortest marriage in history. I was not serious of course but out of respect for me he declined it. Mutual respect for each other's feelings and beliefs is one thing. Dictatorship is another. Be careful. X

Beautifully put.

 

[McFluff]

The problem isn't that he's vegan. I have a great vegan friend who never imposes her views on others. I also have a totally hippy Aunt who rescues Dartmoor ponies due for slaughter every year after the drift and leaves them feral on her land as they are 'free spirits'. She thoroughly disapproves of riding horses but would never try to convert anyone to her own view point. My daughter has been vegetarian since she was 8 years old when I presented the family with a roast chicken. "But mummy it's a CHICKEN" Yes, love it's chicken.... "No you don't understand it's actually a REAL CHICKEN" Lol. She is in a carnivorous foodie family but I fully respect her choice.

The problem is this man is dictating what YOU can do. Your first post says you have tried every argument under the sun but you can't convince him. Well so what. You don't have to convince him! You can do what you want. You don't need his permission or his blessing to follow a childhood dream or pursue an interest. If he thinks you do then THAT is the problem. Today whether you hunt and what you wear, tomorrow how much you spend and what you drink, next month who you can be friends with........ Seen it happen.

You don't necessarily have to dump him but you do (I think) need to re-negotiate the terms of this relationship. He is NOT allowed to tell you what you can and can't do. Especially when his objections aren't even rational as bloodhounds don't kill foxes. I did tell my OH that if he ate fillet of foal on honeymoon which was the special of the day at our hotel it would be the shortest marriage in history. I was not serious of course but out of respect for me he declined it. Mutual respect for each other's feelings and beliefs is one thing. Dictatorship is another. Be careful. X

Great advice - need a like button

 

[Alec Swan]

…….. . I did tell my OH that if he ate fillet of foal on honeymoon which was the special of the day at our hotel it would be the shortest marriage in history. I was not serious of course but out of respect for me he declined it. Mutual respect for each other's feelings and beliefs is one thing. Dictatorship is another. Be careful. X

Considering the example which you've posted, I wonder where the tipping point is which separates acquiescence and compliance.

Alec.

 

[Ambers Echo]

Perhaps at the point at which I said it was a joke?

I would have found it genuinely upsetting for him to eat fillet of foal. Irrational - yes. But we all are to some extent. I would hate him to eat dog too. He was not bothered either way so he declined it. If it particularly mattered to him I would have let it go.

Another example in our relationship was him considering a job with the Atomic Weapons Research Agency. That would have caused me a LOT of issues so we discussed it at length. The key phrase being DISCUSSED. Not setting ultimatums or making threats or forbidding him. As it happens he had his own issues with that so went a different direction in his career.

We try to see each other's points of view and we try to avoid causing unnecessary aggravation to each other via mutual respect. But part of a relationship is honesty about hpw we feel about various issues I think.

 

[Equi]

A neighbouring village is under threat of a meat processing/incineration plant re-locating there and there is a very active local protest group on FB - one vegan put up a waspish post wondering if all those who were against were vegans(!). The company has already ruined one village locally thanks to the lorries, the dripping of fluids onto the roads, the smell and the flies, but the holier than thou assumption that to not want something like that on your doorstep is hypocritical if you eat meat was quite something.

I wonder if in their quest to convert the world and his dog, they have ever thought about what the world would do with all the redundant farm animals and ancient breeds if they succeeded? Would they be put in zoos, kept as pets or allowed to become extinct?

I asked a vegan about this and they said that they (being dairy cows, pigs and chickens etc) are man made animals so they don’t belong in this world anyway. Said vegan was a horse rider but that’s okay because there are wild horses.

I didn’t even bother to start on that one....I mean..wow..

Same person also said if we’re supposed to be related to chimps why do we eat meat cause chimps don’t.

The extreme denial of some vegans is what drives me up the wall the most.

I do know a lovely one who at Xmas meal but just made sure the server knew she was the vegan who had called ahead and she said nothing but lovely things about her meal as they had gone to quite a great effort (as in it wasn’t just a plate of tomatoes and lettuce) but she never once brought up how she can’t eat meat cause it’s immoral. Just enjoyed the meal and got on with it. But tbh I query some eating disorder as she is a skeleton and the amount she ate of the meal was sparse lol

 

[Alec Swan]

……..

Same person also said if we’re supposed to be related to chimps why do we eat meat cause chimps don’t.

……..

Strangely enough they do eat meat and to worsen matters, they hunt, kill and eat, other monkeys. They're cannibals, sort of.

Alec.

 

[Pearlsasinger]

He never told me to give anything up just pushed me to the point of giving them up with the comments I got anytime I did something. I stopped wearing my favourite pair of shoes (red doc martens) after all the comments I got when wearing them.

Now that is true manipulative controlling behaviour - emotional blackmail.

 

[Winifleur]

He's against everything I do with my horse, right down to the leather on my tack! Trouble is horse came after the boyfriend and when I met him, I was having a break from horses because of some health issues so my hobby was never an issue until I decided I was right enough to buy myself a horse of my very own. We have been together for 2 years but we really have hit a point where it's testing me

Then there is no point carrying on with him. Horses are such a commitment that the other half of a horse owner has to at least be agreeable.

 

[Equi]

Strangely enough they do eat meat and to worsen matters, they hunt, kill and eat, other monkeys. They're cannibals, sort of.

Alec.

Yup they certainly do but you can’t tell that to some people cause they don’t believe actual facts 😂