Vet Bills / Cost of Living - decision!

[Deltofe2493]

Unfortunately my horse has racked up 3k worth of vet bills. Probably with another 900 once final x-rays as she wasn't insured for everything. She's due (fingers crossed) to be signed off from the vet mid-September.

Me & OH are saving for a house living with his parents (nightmare!!) and we had a deadline of December to have saved a certain amount. I've got 8k but we said 12. Paying off min. payment on credit card of 2k, and will have to speak to vets about some kind of arrangement for 1.2k. I also told OH she was fully covered, but I know I will need to tell him soon as and when we come to apply for the mortgage.

OH has grown up in a very sensible, stable household where saving is key. I've always worked 2 jobs but I don't like skinting myself out trying to save, I would rather save a little, spend a little and enjoy life than save everything and spend nothing.

Should I just muddle through and everything can get paid off with time?

OR do I consider full loaning (not to move yards) and taking her back in 6 months? Only reason I say full loan is because it would be all costs covered(?) bar insurance which I am happy to keep paying and can get myself back up to scratch and we pick up where we left off.

On the other hand, it's very annoying to have re-habbed her and not get to enjoy her straight after everything we've been through this year.

I love my horse and this is what I have wanted since I was 12 years old, so selling isn't an option but I am also trying to be sensible.

If it was just me, I would take a little longer to save, but it's not just me it's me & OH. Kicking myself for not fully insuring her from the get go!

OR do I try to find another job and get a pay rise? I work in corporate event management so on a decent salary, and costs were working for me before this happened. I work in a pub for extra £££, but feeling especially skint atm.

 

[AmyMay]

I’d go with honesty. You have a horse. They cost a small fortune- it’s a simple fact of life, and the sooner you’re honest with oh about that the better.

Cards on the table time.

 

[chaps89]

Yep. Lying about this is not a good start to a house buying process as a couple.
£8k is still a good amount but sometimes life happens.
Best to be honest.

Re loaning horse out - is she fit/sound enough to go on loan? I don’t think it’s morally or ethnically ok to loan her out if she’s still broken/under vet care especially if you intend to have her back in 6 months and the loaner has to put in any rehab work.
If she’s fit sound and ready to go you might find someone who is looking for something whilst there horse is out of action or that they can hand back before winter so you’d have nothing to lose by advertising.
A sharer might be another alternative?

 

[Ratface]

As your horse's owner, you are wholly responsible for her care and welfare.
In my view, it would be wholly irresponsible, both to your horse and to any potential loaner, to loan her if she is potentially not up to the job.
If you feel unable to discuss this with your partner, I don't think it bodes particularly for the future of your long term relationship.

 

[Deltofe2493]

Yep. Lying about this is not a good start to a house buying process as a couple.
£8k is still a good amount but sometimes life happens.
Best to be honest.

Re loaning horse out - is she fit/sound enough to go on loan? I don’t think it’s morally or ethnically ok to loan her out if she’s still broken/under vet care especially if you intend to have her back in 6 months and the loaner has to put in any rehab work.
If she’s fit sound and ready to go you might find someone who is looking for something whilst there horse is out of action or that they can hand back before winter so you’d have nothing to lose by advertising.
A sharer might be another alternative?

No i agree, I wouldn't loan her unless she was fully sound and wouldn't expect any rehab work to be put in.

I also think 8k is a good amount, but in the eyes of his parents I'm out 'enjoying my life' (I pay rent and contribute to food shop) and save on top. It's really stressing me out. He's vvv close with his parents so when I tell him about the bills he will act / react the way his parents would. His dad didn't speak to me for 2 days when he found out she had to have ulcer treatment (insured). And also implied to OH they wanted proof of my savings, didn't ask me though so I didn't.

How much do people share out for these days? I used to pay £10 a day plus half towards shoes. My yard has excellent facilities, incl. walker, round pen, 4 schools, dressage comps UA & BD, & clear round once a month. Shop on site. Would you expect sharers to go twice a day on their days?

 

[pistolpete]

Sharer?

 

[Bellaboo18]

She's not been signed off from the vet, I wouldn't be thinking of loaning her out.

Take longer to save and tell OH the truth, don't start home ownership on a lie.

 

[dorsetladette]

You need to be straight with OH. I'd personally add the vet bill to your credit card and then the debt is in one place and vet available if needed again in future.
Your yard sounds perfect for a sharer, I wouldn't expect a sharer to go twice a day especially, but could you get assistance in the morning on the days you have a sharer and include that in the sharing cost? The sharer money could help pay the credit card off quicker too.

 

[Deltofe2493]

She's not been signed off from the vet, I wouldn't be thinking of loaning her out.

Take longer to save and tell OH the truth, don't start home ownership on a lie.

Thank you, I agree sorry I wasn't clear. I meant start looking for loaner end of September when she is sound.

 

[SaddlePsych'D]

It doesn't really matter what his parents think (about £8k being enough or not, or whether to wait and save a bit longer) but it does matter what your OH thinks. And he can't tell you that if you are not straight with him about the situation.

 

[Quigleyandme]

Be honest with your partner first and foremost. It is the foundation of a good relationship. Pay the vet in full using an interest free credit card. If you apply for one with free balance transfer you could consolidate your £2k credit card debt on the one interest free card. Then work out a time limited repayment plan and stick to it.

 

[PeterNatt]

I think you have to decide on your priorities.
If you would prefer to be having fun with your horse and having a good social life rather than a boyfriend and buying a house then you need to be honest with yourself and your boy friend and follow your instincts.. There is no point being unhappy as you only have one life.
Best of luck.

 

[SEL]

I've been with my OH for years and never tell him how much the vet bills come to!! It's my money. We both contribute 50:50 to bills but I had more savings when we bought our first house so I put more down as a deposit.

Can you pop the vet bills on a credit card and pay off monthly? A sharer when your horse is sound is a good idea (£25-£30 for 2 days plus help poo picking around here)

Absolutely nothing to do with his parents apart from probably hoping to have their house back. If you won't make £12k then just tell him.

 

[Rowreach]

I doubt there are many on here who haven't at some point neglected to tell a partner about what their horse/s actually costs.

 

[Deltofe2493]

Thank you everyone for being so understanding! Non-horsey people are very quick to ask why I didn't sell or PTS.

I was trying to pay off the CC with a decent amount per month but have realised I keep dipping into it as it's not an affordable amount. Ideally I wanted to have it paid off by December so we would have gone into the mortgage debt free. Also not sure what the impact of credit cards are when it comes to credit checks & mortgages.

ALSO is it better to just pay the min. payment and save more, or should I pay more off the credit card and save less and don't get to 12k? My card is interest free until December, so somewhere someone mentioned that they save the money, earn interest in a savings account and then use that to pay it off at the end of the term.

 

[MuddyMonster]

I doubt there are many on here who haven't at some point neglected to tell a partner about what their horse/s actually costs.

No, but I think there's a time and a place for it.

Buying a house and having complete strangers about to go through your financial affairs with a fine tooth comb is absolutely not the time to hide something financial IMHO.

I'd have been devastated if something I didn't know about came up that affected a mortgage application that my OH hadn't told me.

Now we have the mortgage and providing the joint account and joint savings get paid into it, I'm not overly concerned if my OH stretches the truth about the cost of a new golf club and he's turned a blind eye more than once at a horse parcel turning up.

Good luck OP!

 

[SEL]

Thank you everyone for being so understanding! Non-horsey people are very quick to ask why I didn't sell or PTS.

I was trying to pay off the CC with a decent amount per month but have realised I keep dipping into it as it's not an affordable amount. Ideally I wanted to have it paid off by December so we would have gone into the mortgage debt free. Also not sure what the impact of credit cards are when it comes to credit checks & mortgages.

ALSO is it better to just pay the min. payment and save more, or should I pay more off the credit card and save less and don't get to 12k? My card is interest free until December, so somewhere someone mentioned that they save the money, earn interest in a savings account and then use that to pay it off at the end of the term.

you will have to declare CC payments during the mortgage approval process - at least you did last time I did one (10 years ago). You'd have to declare the debt as well.

Are you trying to hit £12k to match your boyfriend or because that's what you genuinely need as a deposit?

 

[AntiPuck]

Thank you everyone for being so understanding! Non-horsey people are very quick to ask why I didn't sell or PTS.

I was trying to pay off the CC with a decent amount per month but have realised I keep dipping into it as it's not an affordable amount. Ideally I wanted to have it paid off by December so we would have gone into the mortgage debt free. Also not sure what the impact of credit cards are when it comes to credit checks & mortgages.

ALSO is it better to just pay the min. payment and save more, or should I pay more off the credit card and save less and don't get to 12k? My card is interest free until December, so somewhere someone mentioned that they save the money, earn interest in a savings account and then use that to pay it off at the end of the term.

The CC won't do you any favours for the mortgage application if you're over 30% credit utilisation on it - if you can't pay it all off asap try to at least get it below the 30% and keep it there.

It doesn't make sense to save much beyond emergency funds whilst you're in debt, as the debt is costing you more than you're likely going to make on those savings, so you're losing out on balance.

I'd be tempted to chuck everything you can at the debt and forget about the deposit until afterwards.

Be careful that a vet payment plan won't also be set-up as another credit agreement, as again, you won't want that on your mortgage app.

Again, you may be better off using your current savings to pay all of these bills/debts off and then start saving again after that, and be honest with OH about needing more time.

 

[SaddlePsych'D]

I doubt there are many on here who haven't at some point neglected to tell a partner about what their horse/s actually costs.

I think it's a bit different when one person in a relationship is in debt and it's going to impact on joint significant plans/decisions.

 

[Rowreach]

I think it's a bit different when one person in a relationship is in debt and it's going to impact on joint significant plans/decisions.

Of course it is.

 

[Gloi]

I'd admit it to your partner then try and work every hour that is going for the rest of the year to build your money up.

 

[Barton Bounty]

Honesty is the best policy ! And if she is sound, loan her for just a little bit! I had to do that, ok i regretted it cause I chose the wrong person but I just couldnt look after my dad work and small kids and do everything So I loaned him for 8 months, felt super guilty but soon got over it

 

[poiuytrewq]

I’d go with honesty. You have a horse. They cost a small fortune- it’s a simple fact of life, and the sooner you’re honest with oh about that the better.

Cards on the table time.

Agree, I used to gloss over or blatantly lie about what my horses cost to keep.
It’s so much less stressful now my partner knows the truth, he no longer wonders why I’m broke after the farrier etc and often offers a bit of help! Last week both horses needed the farrier and he offered to pay for one and k ew what it cost ?
In the long run it’s just easier to be open about it.

 

[rabatsa]

Martin Lewis always says pay off debt before saving.

 

[Old school]

Agree with all who say to be honest with your partner. However, there is vibe of judgement from your original post. On the other hand, for whatever reason, you are living in their house. I really feel for you. Hope you get it sorted and get on to your feet together. He needs to see you as 'you', flaws and all, and not as an extension of his parents ambitions.

 

[melody-maker]

How much do people share out for these days? I used to pay £10 a day plus half towards shoes. My yard has excellent facilities, incl. walker, round pen, 4 schools, dressage comps UA & BD, & clear round once a month. Shop on site. Would you expect sharers to go twice a day on their days?

I’m looking for a share horse at the moment and have seen anything from £10/day (assisted DIY, so I would do feeds, mucking out etc on my days, but morning duties were done by the YO) to £300/month (for 3 days a week, horse on full livery at a yard with good facilities). So quite a lot of variation there. And this is Kent and east London, so fairly expensive areas.

As for going twice a day, does your yard offer services? Could the sharer pay for services on their day if they wanted to or couldn’t do twice a day visits?

 

[AmyMay]

Martin Lewis always says pay off debt before saving.

And going into home ownership I would advise that this is essential.

 

[Lucky Snowball]

Only share or loan your precious horse if it’s what you want to do. Don’t consider these options just to fit in and please the boyfriend.

 

[Winters100]

I agree you need to be honest with your partner. I also think that you probably have to discuss the situation with his Father. This man did not speak to you for 2 days because your horse needed treatment for ulcers. Really not his business, and it is treating you as a naughty teenager.

Finally think very carefully before buying real estate with someone else. It can be very messy if things go wrong. You will be jointly liable for the mortgage, and in case your relationship ends it can cause a lot of difficulties. You need to consult a lawyer and have a contract drawn up between the two of you to cover all eventualities, even if they do not seem to be likely to occur.

Wishing you good luck,

 

[GSD Woman]

Do you have somethings you can sell besides the horse? A car or a bicycle if you can walk or take public transport to things. Do you have any jewelry or furniture, extra tack?

IMHO, you need to stop doing the fun things. Pick up every hour you can at the pub. If that won't pay enough, find another part time job or find a third job if full livery won't be more than the extra you would be making.

Pay off the credit card debt and cut up those cards or put them in a block of ice in the freezer so you're less likely to use them frivolously.

I have debt from credit card use when everything was caving in on me. I don't use them now. I pay at least double the interest. I would be careful about rolling over to a lower rate or 0% interest. Make sure the fee for the transfer won't cost you more than you'll save.

Be honest with your OH and do it some place away from his parents. You don't need their judgement. And pay off those credit cards!