What a nice welcome to h&h (not)

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FeatherPower

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26 June 2009
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I just don't know what to do

To say I am upset is the least of it. I have recently joined h&h after reading posts and advice for a few months. I am shocked and upset to find the current (but very recent) owner of my first horse and until recently the owner of another horse I have, has spent the last few months saying terrible things about me and stretching/bending the truth about certain situations.

one post even suggested she might need putting down?! (edit: my apologies, suggested horse may be about to die/lost will to live, not directly that she needs to be pts)

I am totally at a loss as to what to do, do I confront the person I have just sold the love of my life to or do I let it go? I am terrifed she is thinking about having her put to sleep - this is not something she has mentioned to me, along with the many other apparent issues that she has voiced on here rather than talking to me, the horses owner, properly and honestly.

What would you do?

heartbroken :'(

Really really upset
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This is always a risk when people post on an open forum.
I am sorry that you have been upset. If it were me, I would confront the person.

I am a little confused though - is this about a horse you have sold/are loaning or one that you own?
 
Don't know the inns and outs of this or what is supposedly wrong with the horse or what has been said, try (without being confrontational) contacting the owner (not on here, privately) and ask what is wrong with the horse, ask if you can speak to the attending vet. If there is a genuine reason for the euthanasia then you'll have your mind put at rest. If not then offer to refund the money and have the horse back??????
 
I don't know - she has not told me. This is the problem. From the thread I gather 'not herself' and 'is it because she has reached the end?'

I guess that by posting on here I am being no better than her, but a little late to be calling her to talk about it. I am a reasonable person and just cant think why non of this has been directed to me. I just get told told 'yeah everythings fine'

its the bending of the truth that has hurt so much though

crying
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I suppose the horse has been sold - so no need to refer it to you.

Give her a buzz and see what the story is.
 
If the horse is no longer yours then I am afraid that you really have no say in its future, sorry.

When the money changes hands then you relinquish your rights. Sad, but true.
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As I say, I would contact the girl & just ask her to fill you in, if you are concerned.
 
I would have thought regardless of what you think, the horse is now their horse and their responsibility.

I don't think many people on this forum get horses PTS for any old reason, so if thats what the horses owner thinks is best for it, its really not that much of your concern - is it??

Unless I'm missing something glaringly obvious here...?
 
oh no - i wouldn't dream of openly bashing someone on a public forum, that would be awful - trust me, I now know! I am just so hurt and worried that I have done the wrong thing by letting her have this horse. I was put in an awkward situation but I felt I react naturally to the situation and then dealt with it properly and professionally, if you like, and tried to be as understanding and accomodating as possible.

I am just so hurt and worried
 
I take it the horse has only recently been sold by you. I would therefore think that unless it is a medical emergency like colic, that you would have some idea of why this horse has 'reached the end'. Not sure by what you mean about another horse though. Did you buy the horse off of her. Confused.
 
im not sure i quite understand the situation, is the horse in question sold or on loan? is it owned by the person YOU sold the horse to or has it subsequently been sold to the person in question? or are we talking about 2 different people?

sprry for all the questions and appearing thick but its late lol
 
I dont think its fair of me to go into too much detail, it will be clear who this person is if I do and I don't want to start an argument.

I just want to know what I should do and if this sort of thing has ever happened before? Also how on earth will I be accepted on here with that sort of false reputation to preceed me?

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Oh, how distressing for you and what an unwelcome welcome.

It it was me I would contact the person and try to find out what exactly her problems are. Is it possible for you to let us know which posts you are referring to. Sometimes, when read by someone who is not involved in a situation they see things in a different light, more objectively, from both sides.

Obviously, you were unaware of the posts so could not defend yourself and anyone would find this upsetting. The only way to deal with this is to make contact and find out the true story and deal with it accordingly. I am afraid no one can sort this situation other than the two of you.

I hope there is a happy outcome for you.
 
[ QUOTE ]
I dont think its fair of me to go into too much detail, it will be clear who this person is if I do and I don't want to start an argument.

I just want to know what I should do and if this sort of thing has ever happened before? Also how on earth will I be accepted on here with that sort of false reputation to preceed me?

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[/ QUOTE ]

I'm sure this sort of thing is quite common on open forums to be honest. If you don't want to go into details, send a private message to the person in question and deal with it that way.

As for having a 'false reputation' no-one on here knows who you are anyway - why would you not be accepted? Forum is welcome to one and all
confused.gif
 
well we dont know whothe person in question is so we have no way of judging who you are or what has been said supposedly about you so i wouldnt worry about your rep, and as said above give the person a call remain cool calm and collected and try to find out that way

anyway... welcome to the forum its a nice place...honest
 
Am I the only one who is a liiiiittle bit confused here..?

In laymans terms, because I'm losing the will here, are you concerned because there's been some blame put on you?

Or are you just concerned for the horse in general?
 
no Kitsune you are not alone in your confusion, i am thoroughly puzzled
im not sure whether this is my error as i have been up since 7am and its now 11:30 or if OP was unclear
confused.gif
 
both:

I am concerned for the horse because there are things I have not been told about prior to selling her and I am concerned about other events that have not happened as dipicted on here, which will surely mean I will have problems in the future on the forum?
 
what is this worry over problems on the forum in the future?! you are being so vague anyway there is no possible way we could know who you are talking about and therefore why are you worried?! we dont know who you are!
 
Are you worried about a forum or the horse you sold?

Just ring the woman up - ask what the situation is and go from there....

Really, it's not rocket science.

Hope you get it sorted.
 
No-one would have known who you were had you not come on here and told us all...

Personally the only problem I have with you is your cryptic posts, and for that reason..

I'm out.
 
Seriously, dos it matter whether you have problems on the forum or not? If you are concerned about the horse, talk to the new owners. (although if she is not your horse anymore then it isn't really any of your business now).

I am really not sure what you are trying to achieve with this post.
 
I'm sorry, I'm still totally confused and that last post didn't help. Why did you need to be told about things prior to selling her? Was she out on loan and then you sold her to the loanee?
 
this is BIZAARE and i dont think anyone can offer you much help other than suggesting a phone call as it does seem you are slightly more concerned with peoples perception of yourself than the current situation. if you care so much about this horse then i dont see why peoples opinions should even play a part in your pursuit of this matter
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You have me confused totally. There are things about this horse that you did not know prior to selling it, but which are now causing the new owner enough concern that she thinks the horse is going to die. was it vetted?
 
well.....I am upset, as you can imagine anyone would be joining a new group and then reading things like that, that you had previously been unaware of, on all counts personal and horse related.

As I said just wondered if this ever happened on here and if things were sorted out?
 
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