What extra features would you pay for on a horse?

[CanteringCarrot]

If it could clip itself and stuff its own hay nets, I would be quite pleased.

 

[Brownmare]

I'd pay good money for one that could clean it's own tack! I did have one that lined up his poos along the back wall of the stable and refused to wee inside so it took about 30 seconds to muck him out. Sadly he was spectacularly useless in all other ways but it was one hell of a plus point ?

 

[millikins]

One with a traffic light system that tells you if the saddle fits, you know, really fits. For when the saddler says it fits and you think it fits but your horse is still a bit "off" requiring a small fortune to see if it's sore hocks/back/teeth/another saddle/feet.....

 

[Flicker]

Sounds like the Tesco order. We didn't have 15h cob in stock so here's a top-notch Shetland version. Enjoy!

?

 

[Muddywellies]

Cruise control!!! Or if that's not available on my model then I'd settle for an uprated braking system. I'd trade in the stupid stop/start feature ?

 

[SpotsandBays]

OO OO OO, a little speaker that shouts “I’m going for a long one” or “I’m going to chip in!” Would be great ?

 

[windand rain]

I would like one that out lives me by a day or two and stays healthy until then so I dont have to make that decision or have one passed around after I am gone. Not that it would happen but be reassuring not to have to worry

 

[CouldItBe]

One that never gets past the age of 12. Also one that is the same whether ridden daily or monthly

 

[Micropony]

It would be really handy if they could speak English, much of the rest of it could be achieved through negotiation and bribery I suspect. Would you be so kind as to poo in this skip bucket please; which rug would you like to wear today; is your tack comfortable; shall I lunge you for a bit before I get on today, or are you going to behave; are you itchy or just irritable; you don't quite seem yourself today, do you feel unwell, did you have an argument with your field buddy or did the wildlife keep you up all night again making mating noises; I know there are funny reflections on the puddle, but I can assure you it's only an inch deep; I am really short of time tomorrow, so if you could see your way clear to not rolling in the mud then there's a crunchy apple in it for you. What's that you say, you'd prefer a juicy pear? Done! Etc. The conversational possibilities are endless!

Especially like the idea of them living as long as we do, whoever suggested that, so we can become creaky old crocks together!

 

[cauda equina]

But suppose it said -
I don't really like being ridden. I'd rather just stay in the field
or
This trailer's naff. What we need is a little lorry
or
So-and-so is a much better rider than you. I wish I were her horse and not yours

 

[PapaverFollis]

"I only like purple rugs with orange binding"

"I demand my water buckets are silver plated"

"I preferred the livery yard where you hated everyone"

 

[Cowpony]

I'm not sure I'd want my horse actually talking to me - as above, I'm not sure I'd like what she has to say But I could do with an IT interface so I could plug her in and a computer could tell me exactly what's wrong, like the car mechanics do.

 

[Fleece Navidad]

I'm not sure I'd want my horse actually talking to me - as above, I'm not sure I'd like what she has to say But I could do with an IT interface so I could plug her in and a computer could tell me exactly what's wrong, like the car mechanics do.

This would be handy, though I'm sure mine would be the same as the car and show an error which isn't causing the fault and have to go in for a full check to find the actual error...?

 

[Annagain]

I was saying yesterday that I would pay extra to get a feature that's been factory installed in one of my horses. A good doer who eats anything, but only eats the amount that he needs.

Ive got one who only poos on her mats - her bed is immaculate every morning. I'd pay good money for that function on all of them

Archie does both these things.

Weight wise, he never changes - we used to have a weighbridge at riding club twice a year - the biggest difference in weight between summer and winter was 6kgs. Even now that he's retired, he's lost a bit of topline and his tummy is a bit more saggy but I don't think he's changed weight, it's just moved about a bit. He'll come in of an evening, eat a couple of mouthfuls of hard feed (he barely has any these days), stop for a wee then wander over to pick at his hay. His hard feed's always gone by the morning but if you check on him later the same evening, 3/4 of it will still be there. He only ever eats as much hay as he wants but doesn't make a mess with any that's left, it's all still in his haybar with no more than a few wisps on the the floor.

He never poos in his bed but does wee - all in one small patch that takes two forkfuls to remove. I can muck him out in 2 minutes flat. He's the easiest horse I've ever known to muck out.

Unfortunately, these (and traffic) are about the only things he does perfectly. He more than makes up for his stable cleanliness by getting himself absolutely filthy.

In fact, now that I don't have to ride him and get him clean enough to ride him, I have the perfect horse! Except he's broken.