What role do your friends play in the management and competition of your horses?

[measles]

I've been thinking recently about the support friends provide with horses and how useful it is to bounce ideas and thoughts horse related between chums. I find it invaluable and I'm guessing others do, too.

The bad weather today also made me reflect on the practical help that friends often provide to keep our horses cared for and, for CR riders, on track for competitions whether it be by reviewing performances on videos, bouncing ideas concerns and hopes off, coming along on the day, celebrating together or being a shoulder to cry on.

My friends, I hope, know how much I appreciate their support, but how valuable do you feel that support is and how do your friends help you?

 

[Gamebird]

Good topic!

I have one particular friend who is a godsend. When I first met her she competed

 

[LEC]

I am lucky as I have loads of great horse friends. Bounce ideas off, chat about ineptitude and generally have a good gossip when I see them eventing.
I met a lot through this forum and RC. It's why however much this forum annoys me, I will always be grateful to it.

 

[Baggybreeches]

Yep, definitely have people (including you two) whose opinions I value hugely. I am fortunate to have my mum and a few other 'proper' horsey friends to help me along but sometimes I think they can be a little 'too involved' to see the wood for the trees.

 

[Gamebird]

Sorry - pressed wrong button!

...she competed mainly in dressage with her ex-racer. I moved my horses to the yard she was on and she consequently sat on one occasionally for me to brush it up on the flat and I jumped hers occasionally. She'd happily come to groom for me at events and learnt the ropes and the ins and outs of BE very quickly. All my eventing rubbed off on her eventuaklly and she did a couple of BE90s very successfully - something she'd never have considered had she not been helping me. In return I ventured out at BD and we had some lovely mid-week 'ladies wot lunch' outings involving two tests each, a bottle of pink bubbly and a picnic!

She works in the same profession as me, though in a different role, which helps a lot, though as we both have to work a lot of weekends it can make coordinating schedules a bit difficult. We watch each other school, do fences for each other and sit on each other's horses occasionally. If I need a spare bum in a saddle for exercising or to go to the gallops I know who to ask! Sadly she lost her horse recently but I even managed to sell her another one!

Very sadly I'm moving away next week and don't know what I'll do without her. However I'm only going to be just over an hour away and we can still meet at venues to compete and she's promised to come and stay and go eventing with me so *hopefully* it will be just like the old days.

 

[Britestar]

My best friend keeps her horses with me so we do most things together. Competing, training etc. Works really well and we keep each other grounded.
Either of us will do the horses depending on work shifts and if one of us is away, the other looks after everything.
I have couple of other trusted friends who's advice I trust and respect.

 

[Cheiro1]

I would be lost without a very close friend of mine. She doesn't live around me however she is always there to bounce idea's off/pick me up when I am down/celebrate with me.

She has helped me no end with my quirky WB and I would be lost without her.

I also have friends on the yard where they are kept who are always there and an invaluable source of information and ideas.

 

[Scarlett]

We are very lucky to rent a house on a yard and have our horses at home, I have 3 friends who keep their horses with us and it works amazingly well. We all have different interestes and skills and all see things from a different perspective, yet we all share very similar ideas on horse care and management. We always chat about issues we might have or ideas we have and if someone goes to a comp there will always be someone to go with and offer support. My best friend and I have been on yards together for 7 years now and have our 'system' down to a tee.

We are incredibly fortunate to all be together. It makes having horses fun, something that can be forgotten!

 

[xspiralx]

and have our 'system' down to a tee.

And frequently, a 'tea' - the fuel needed to run any yard

On a serious note, I am hugely lucky with the horsey friends I have - both the ones on the yard I keep Fallon at who provide an enormous amount of support on a day to day basis, and the ones I've had for years who have helped me through some very difficult times with a lot of heartache.

I'm very lucky with the amount of both practical and emotional help I get from my friends - and to be honest, without them it would be very difficult for me to have my horse at all, let alone get out and about to lessons and competitions.

It does mean, however, that the yard becomes a bit of a time dump, and my OH doesn't quite understand how jobs that should take 10 minutes can stretch for 5 hours or more on a regular basis...

 

[Firewell]

Not so much friends but my mum is probably my greatest support. We keep our horses together and always help each other and go to shows together. We give each other advice and bounce ideas off each other constantly. She has the benefit of years and years and years (sorry mum!) of experience and I spend a lot of time on here, researching the internet and having been to an equine college have a more modern perspective on things. She is incredibly good at reading a horse and instinctively knows the meaning of behaviours which is something I learn from her. I'm a bit younger, braver and very good at just saying chill out mum and relax he'll be fine! . Even the other day we were discussing my horse jumping and she was reiterating to me that we need to work on his canter and to keep changing the exercise so he doesn't start to anticipate the question.
I do think support is very helpful and I think horse riding would be hard to do all alone all of the time.

 

[fabscd]

My 3 best friends are all horsey and 2 of them compete at a high level in their own disciplines. I have quite a few friends and acquaintances who i chat to and bounce ideas off either in person, on facebook or forums and i find this invaluable. If i ever want someone to go training/schooling with, i can usually find someone by putting something on fb or a forum. I often go to competitions alone, but usually find a few people i know at the same comps, and have several friends who will come to watch if they can. I know that between my close friends and people at my yard, that if i was ever unable to get to any of my horses for whatever reason they would be well looked after. Similarly, if i ever got stuck somewhere in the lorry, I would only be a couple of phonecalls away from a lift home for me and horse! In turn, my friends know that they could call me in the same way and if i was able to help out i would do my best to do so.
I couldn't do all that i do without the practical and 'moral' support of my friends.

 

[amage]

I think it's crucial both in terms of bouncing ideas of eachother, general support, pick me ups and sharing in the triumphs however large or small they are! I have a few people in day to day life, a few people on here/Facebook and feel they are an important part of the team! You included very much so in this support team Measles!!

 

[milliepops]

It's the thing I miss most since my best horsey mate lost her youngster I don't see her very often and there is no one with a similar level of knowledge or experience at the yard I'm on now. I'm sure that's why I've been getting so bogged down with things over the last 12 months. .. I've lost the voice of reason

 

[Chloe_GHE]

they are a great help, for ideas, assistance, and general picking you up when you have a bad day. I think mums and trainers also come under that 'friend' banner too. All my friends are very constructive and thoughtful with their crit/advice and never in anyway try to bully their points across. I think having 'fr-enemies' can be where the trouble starts, they start out as friends and it goes bad...any negative influence like that is never going to do you or your horse any good!

 

[LynH]

I've had some very severe and chronic health issues over the last few years and I wouldn't have been able to even keep my horses let alone compete them without significant help from my friends. One friend started riding one of my horses when I had surgery. I didn't know her that well but she offered to help out and has been a firm friend for years since. She's accompanied me to numerous dressage comps and has also stopped me going to others when I really should have pulled the plug myself. None of this would have been possible without her help.

I now keep my horses at home and I've had so many offers of help from friends, two of whom check in with me most days and even with busy jobs they always offer help. It's nice to have close friends who are knowledgable and can chat through horsey issues. I thought I'd miss being on a busy yard but regular tea breaks, dog walks and rides with my friends mean I'm happy keeping my horses at home in the knowledge that help is always on hand and a good long horsey chat is never far away.

I wish I could pay back all the support and help my friends have given me over the years but my health prevents that at the moment. True friends help out and never expect anything in return and I'm very lucky to have such amazing friends.

 

[Nic]

I'd be lost without Figjam & Flyingcoo, say what you like about HHO, but I don't know if I'd have met those 2 without it

Super organised, helpful & all round lovely folk who put up with my blondness!

 

[avthechav]

My mum and I DIY on the same yard and I would find it a lot harder without her there as we often end up doing bits and pieces for each other.

In terms of competing, I wouldnt have done half the things that I have without Matafleur- she really enouraged me to go on and event my ex racer which hadnt really occured to me that I could. We use to share lessons and motivate each other to get horses fit after work etc and we had a lot of fun...even doing fitness work which could have been quite boring! As we shared so many lessons it was great as we could also coach each other away from trainers, video each other and and CC at comps. She has also been very good at picking up the pieces when it all fell apart at various points!! This worked even tho we were at slightly different levels.

However very selfishly she got pregnant and so has been eyes on the ground for me recently....which has also been very useful!. However I am very looking forward to having her back as a training partner again this summer, its going to be fab!!

ps How nice is this thread with people all saying how wonderful their friends and family are!!

 

[tinap]

None at all don't have any horsey friends near us so its just me & the daughter. We barely see anyone on the yard other than the owners as we are the only ones on DIY.

All my horsey friends live about 30 miles away as that's where we go to Pony Club, but none of them are close friends anyway

 

[Lulup]

Like Milliepops I don't have my fab horsey friend around much anymore and it has changed things for me :-(

We used to do lots of stuff together and then when she started eventing I went to nearly all her events with her - and when my horse was retired through injury 3 years or so ago those days out with her eventing gave me my competition 'fix'.

Then things started to slow down a little and the combination of a fab new job at the same time as her horse retiring from eventing meant that she has taken a step back from horses for the foreseeable future 😞

I can totally understand it and we still meet up for a drink every few months to catch up with each other but I really, really miss her involvement. Having someone who knows your horsey history, all the events (good and bad) that have led to where you are currently 'at' in terms of confidence/enthusiasm/skill etc. cannot be easily replaced - I never had to explain the background to stuff because she already knew it and we used to spend hours mulling things over (often with help of a little beverage or two !) and discussing plans/solutions etc.

Reading this post has made me realise how much I need to try finding some new horsey pals as I have a relatively new horse and havent been out and about with him at all - things are just not the same!

 

[SpottedCat]

Pretty essential and I'd say the majority of them I have met through HHO one way or another. That said, I know I'm not the only one who replies with the generically vague 'on the circuit' or 'via competing/lessons' when asked how we got to know each other I even found my trainer through HHO so despite me often wondering how some people keep themselves alive never mind a horse, it's not such a bad place really

 

[CAH7]

I'd be lost without mine, from the yard and RC, and one good friend in particular who does my horse one day a week, supports me at competitions, helping to get him ready and providing me with a pep talk if needed, or an in-depth fence-by-fence discussion after a rubbish round, usually managing to find something positive to say!

 

[Escada2004]

Totally agree, im very lucky to have some real good horse friends i am never without someone to give me a fence in the warm up, or a leg up if i need one at a show also if it wasnt for my friends help i wouldnt get all the videos i have of me competing so i can see what went wrong and right i have been very lucky to meet some fab friends along the way and things definately wouldnt be the same without them we have fun stayng away at shows together, we all plan our show calander together and are there for each other if we have a bad show!

 

[muddy_grey]

I am feeling rather envious of you all. I used to have the most amazing yard we were all friends and helped each other. Unfortunately the yard closed and some moved away and the rest stopped riding, due to life and finances! They are still my best friends, but out of the horsey loop.
My current YO is great and we help each other out a lot, but can't put our 2 in a trailor together (hers thinks he is still a real man) and I have no transport

 

[kirstyhen]

I have a fair few horsey friends (I went to a Horsey Uni!) and they all help in their own way I guess. My best friend keeps her horse next to mine and is on hand should I need help, however I can walk to the yard, she drives 15 minutes and works in the opposite direction, so I do her horse weekday mornings and likes of now with the snow. She returns the favour whenever she can and I love her pony anyway, so I'm happy to do it.
My Parents and Partner play the biggest role, driving me around, being grooms, photographers, pole putter uppers, looking after the horse when I'm away etc etc. and generally being supportive, encouraging and extremely tolerant!

 

[Matafleur]

Aaah, this is a nice thread! As Avthechav said above we often help each other out, chivvy each other along and just generally manage to keep each other motivated as well as being the voice of reason!

I think it's really helpful if you have a good friend that you can share lessons with as you can then remind each other of the things you have worked on previously. Avthechav has certainly helped me a great deal both in the practical sense (I have borrowed her trailer on soooo many occasions now that I've sold mine!) and also with moral support. She has told me to just get on with it when I'm being an idiot and also provided tea and sympathy when it's all gone wrong.

I think we are lucky in that our style is fairly similar so the same things tend to help both of us and we both get on with the same trainers for the most part. I think it's really important to have at least one person that, although you may be slightly competitive with, you genuinely want to do well and who wants the same for you, and who also has a similar outlook on things.

 

[Wigglypigs]

I am forever grateful for the horsey friends , new and old , that I have. I have friends who would look after my horse at the drop of a hat, take me to shows and just generally play ponies. I would like to hope I do enough in return helping and often offer the odd bit of home baking to assist . I have an extremely knowledgable yard owner I can call on whenever its required too and would hope they would ask me for help whenever it was required.
Sadly I'm currently horseless after the old man was pts. I have been thrilled to be offered the chance to ride friends horses regularly. Horses,for me, are a very social hobby. Without friends it just wouldn't be the same.

 

[measles]

I'm just catching up on the thread after a busy few days. As many others have said I think the support - practical, social, virtual - whatever form it takes makes a huge difference. The internet really opens up opportunity for widening the circle and I have made some friendships through it that will be enduring.

So, here's to chums everywhere!

 

[Escada2004]

Here Here

 

[miss_c]

Without two of my friends in particular I would never have got to any of the places I have been with Genie. I also have another excellent friend who has travelled to so many comps with me and is an invaluable help as she knows exactly how I work and what the routine is. I know I have their support and they will help when needed, and I will return the favour when able.

Friends are the best!!!

 

[lucemoose]

Essential! Whether they are at your yard, you meet them at shows or they are virtual and exist on FB or here they are absolutely neccessary. I'm in NZ at the moment, no mum, no yard friends, no competing friends and I feel utterly adrift. It's so bizarre as I would never have thought I rely on people, but I do as a collective.