When and how do you decide enough is enough?

[MotherOfChickens]

so sorry to read this, I had an 11yo PT due to melanomas. I could have kept him going for a while but knew his were aggressive and didn't want to risk losing him to a colic/internal bleed. I completely adored him, had him since he was three and he was a wonderful horse but he wasn't going to get better. Before that I had years of stifle issues, surgery, rehab and he was just coming right. Immensely tough decision and the only thing I would say is don't leave it too long between booking him in and getting it done-I waited a couple of weeks and spent it in tears, was exhausted at the end of it. It was hard once done but not as hard as the waiting.

Enjoy the beach and be kind to yourself too.

 

[Regandal]

Horrible situation, the waiting will just torture you. The moment the vet said there was no hope for my mare, she was gone the next day. If his lungs are so compromised, is it fair to ask him to work?

 

[ladydoone]

You have my every sympathy. A horrible decision to have to make. I did have horse put down in august and I'm still sad. I am friendly with my vet and trusted her opinion completely. When the vet said my geldings condition was becoming a question of welfare then I knew it was time. He was 15 and I had owned him 7 years. I feel a bit lost without him but it was the right decision. Xx

 

[Honey08]

Is there no option for him to go on full grass livery somewhere where his nebuliser can still be administered? I know that was mentioned by myself and others on your previous post.

At the moment his breathing not lami is the crucial issue and I do not think you can expect him to improve when stabled and IME barn environments however airy they may seem can be the worst for this type of horse. If he goes out and gets lami, well then the decision is made for you. If he continues to deteriorate the decision is made for you but you will be making it in the knowledge that you did try that alternative lifestyle first.

I have to say that horrid though this situation is for you that given your previous post saying that his cough and wheezing was coming back I am surprised to read he was cantering.

I know for a fact, because I've been talking to the OP via Facebook, that she has tried and treid every avenue to try and find somewhere and somehow for this pony to carry on. She's found retirement liveries, fields on top of windy hills with no grass, and it's all been discussed with the vet before she's come to the conclusion she has.

I'm so sorry for what you're going through. Gutted for you. But you're doing what's best for him, something it's taken you a while to discover, and something that the vet is in agreement with. It's all you can do.xx

 

[Tiddlypom]

Horrible, horrible situation for you, OP.

I would call it a day, but do it very soon, in case he has an unexpected crisis.

Huge hugs. I've had to let horses go well before their time, and whilst it is horrendous, afterwards I've felt huge relief that the horse is no longer suffering.

 

[Cheshire Chestnut]

Horrible situation, the waiting will just torture you. The moment the vet said there was no hope for my mare, she was gone the next day. If his lungs are so compromised, is it fair to ask him to work?

The worst thing would for him to never have any exercise. People with PF need to stay active, even if it's just a walk. I cantered him because I think I needed to know whether he was better or not - I needed to know it myself. Just like people take their horses off bute trials and then ask them to work to see the same.

I don't want anyone to think I'm being cruel to hack him, he still likes his hacks and the vet has told me to carry on exercising him. He's full of life and still wants to race round, he just can't. I'd never ever do anything horrible to him or make him suffer, I've only ever had his best interests at heart so please don't go down the route of making me feel bad about riding him in his last week. I already feel the lowest I've ever been already

 

[Cheshire Chestnut]

I know for a fact, because I've been talking to the OP via Facebook, that she has tried and treid every avenue to try and find somewhere and somehow for this pony to carry on. She's found retirement liveries, fields on top of windy hills with no grass, and it's all been discussed with the vet before she's come to the conclusion she has.

I'm so sorry for what you're going through. Gutted for you. But you're doing what's best for him, something it's taken you a while to discover, and something that the vet is in agreement with. It's all you can do.xx

Thank you Honey, and for all your help over Facebook too. I've really really appreciated it. Yes, every solution seems to just hit a brick wall, nothing seems to be the 'right thing'. If I could pay for him to live comfortably for the rest of his life out in a field then I would, it just wouldn't be the best for him.

Hardest decision of my life but I know deep down its the right thing for him x

 

[Speedyfluff]

I have arranged to take him to the beach on Sunday - somewhere I've always wanted to take him and never got round to in almost 3 years. My kind friend has arranged her photographer husband to come take some pictures of us two, our last ride. I have promised myself although I will be dying of heartbreak inside, Sunday will be a happy day; it's meant to be sunny (please everyone keep you fingers crossed!), my friend is bringing her dogs (my boy loves dogs) and I'm taking a picnic for us all. Might even sneak in a bottle of prosecco too - we are going to celebrate his life, not cry over his death.

I really do feel for you but please do not ride him. If he is ill enough to be PTS you really shouldn't be riding him. Remember your last canter when he was gasping for breath? Sorry, I don't want to sound mean, but going to the beach would be for YOU not for him and he is too ill. If you care for him, which I know you do. Please don't do that to him.

 

[Speedyfluff]

The worst thing would for him to never have any exercise. People with PF need to stay active, even if it's just a walk. I cantered him because I think I needed to know whether he was better or not - I needed to know it myself. Just like people take their horses off bute trials and then ask them to work to see the same.

I don't want anyone to think I'm being cruel to hack him, he still likes his hacks and the vet has told me to carry on exercising him. He's full of life and still wants to race round, he just can't. I'd never ever do anything horrible to him or make him suffer, I've only ever had his best interests at heart so please don't go down the route of making me feel bad about riding him in his last week. I already feel the lowest I've ever been already

Walk him out in hand. Take him to the beach but do not ride him.

 

[ester]

I know for a fact, because I've been talking to the OP via Facebook, that she has tried and treid every avenue to try and find somewhere and somehow for this pony to carry on. She's found retirement liveries, fields on top of windy hills with no grass, and it's all been discussed with the vet before she's come to the conclusion she has.

I'm so sorry for what you're going through. Gutted for you. But you're doing what's best for him, something it's taken you a while to discover, and something that the vet is in agreement with. It's all you can do.xx

Only checking because it wasn't mentioned in this post whether it really wasn't possible or not or whether hho needed to rally to find somewhere .

 

[Tiddlypom]

Oh gosh, what does the vet advise about a trip to the beach? I'd be very worried that the atmosphere within the trailer/lorry would be detrimental to him.

 

[Speedyfluff]

If you were going to try and keep him going as long as possible, then gentle exercise would help. But he is going to be PTS. If he were mine I would not want him in any respiratory stress before that time. I certainly could not ride a horse that feels so ill. I would take him out for daily walks in hand and use that time to connect with him and say your goodbyes. It is so tragic and I am so sorry for what you are going through.

 

[Cheshire Chestnut]

I really do feel for you but please do not ride him. If he is ill enough to be PTS you really shouldn't be riding him. Remember your last canter when he was gasping for breath? Sorry, I don't want to sound mean, but going to the beach would be for YOU not for him and he is too ill. If you care for him, which I know you do. Please don't do that to him.

His last canter, yes, but I've been walking/trotting him around my village on hack for the last few weeks and he's been happy. I wouldn't do more than walk him at the beach. Walk him to paddle in the sea. He's ill, yes, but the reason for having him PTS is because I could keep him as a happy hacker for the winter before spring comes and makes his PF worse or let him go now while he's happy and full of life.

I'm going to leave this thread now, I'm getting too upset to read it. I'd never do anything to hurt him.

 

[applecart14]

I think I would always go by what my vet says. If my vet says my horse is starting to suffer that would be it. But if your vet is saying its okay to ride then I would ride him, but you need to also be guided by what your horse is telling you. You know him more than anyone else. I am so sorry you are in this position.

You will know when the time is right to let him go.

 

[Regandal]

I am sorry if I upset you. I was not inferring that you don't have his best interests at heart. The uncertainty of how well he is will put great pressure on you. I couldn't face that, so took the decision. I'm sure your vet is guiding you.

 

[touchstone]

I had my horse pts a couple of weeks ago. For me I find taking action sooner rather than later is easier. I decided to let mine go on Sunday evening and the vet and crem was organised for the Monday morning.

I know you want to have a last ride and happy memories, but I'd be very wary about travelling such an unwell horse, the conditions in a box or trailer coupled with stress/excitement might just be enough to tip him over the edge. You have all the happy times in the past to draw on and that is what matters, I'd let him enjoy just being a horse for his last few days and then let him go. It has to be about him and not your last memories sadly.

 

[ester]

Having known some horse's reactions to the beach if they haven't been before which range from not bothered to wired to snorting at the sand while spinning circles personally I wouldn't take your chap op. Ride him at home without all the upheaval.

 

[crabbymare]

I think the problem here is that there are things the op has always wanted to do that are now in her brain as being the things she must do to finalise her riding him and letting him go. it hapens to a lot of people and at the time its very important to them that these things are crossed off. sadly in this case the beach is on the mental goodbye list and will be very important to the op. question to the op - is there somewhere with autumn colour leaves closer to you that would make a good background for some pictures? you can get pics of you riding and or leading him along a track with sunspots coming through the trees, and of you crouching in the leaves with his head down to you for a polo or a kiss on the nose? if there are reddish leaves that sort of picture will look fantastic at this time of year and you could have the picnic and a glass of something the same as you would have done at the beach

 

[Cheshire Chestnut]

Perhaps I'll take him to the Forrest instead and walk him round the lake. We can take some bread and feed the Wild ducks, and then stop at the icecream hut to get an ice cream (he can have one too). Much nearer and he's been there a lot of times before, he's always very relaxed. Trees will be pretty this time of year.

 

[Sheep]

Perhaps I'll take him to the Forrest instead and walk him round the lake. We can take some bread and feed the Wild ducks, and then stop at the icecream hut to get an ice cream (he can have one too). Much nearer and he's been there a lot of times before, he's always very relaxed. Trees will be pretty this time of year.

That sounds like a beautiful setting.
I'm so sorry OP, for what you are going through.

 

[madlady]

I am so sorry OP, I understand that you are going through absolute hell at the moment.

I have a photographer booked for this coming weekend to take some final pics of me, OH and old girl who we will be saying goodbye to soon.

It is an awful thing to go through and I have doubted myself for weeks and weeks now, I still keep thinking 'what if' and I know that on that day I will be a wreck. No matter how much we prepare and know in our hearts that they aren't going to last as long as us it makes no difference to how much it hurts.

I still don't want to say goodbye to her and as the time gets nearer I find myself crying on almost a daily basis even thinking about it.

Huge hugs to you xx

 

[Clare85]

Perhaps I'll take him to the Forrest instead and walk him round the lake. We can take some bread and feed the Wild ducks, and then stop at the icecream hut to get an ice cream (he can have one too). Much nearer and he's been there a lot of times before, he's always very relaxed. Trees will be pretty this time of year.

This sounds like a good plan. As others have said, the beach could well prove too much for him. Wishing you a nice day with him at the forest. I'm sorry for what you're going through. Take care x

 

[Pinkvboots]

If you were going to try and keep him going as long as possible, then gentle exercise would help. But he is going to be PTS. If he were mine I would not want him in any respiratory stress before that time. I certainly could not ride a horse that feels so ill. I would take him out for daily walks in hand and use that time to connect with him and say your goodbyes. It is so tragic and I am so sorry for what you are going through.

I am sure the op has spoken to her vet about this she has done everything she can for this horse

 

[Pinkvboots]

His last canter, yes, but I've been walking/trotting him around my village on hack for the last few weeks and he's been happy. I wouldn't do more than walk him at the beach. Walk him to paddle in the sea. He's ill, yes, but the reason for having him PTS is because I could keep him as a happy hacker for the winter before spring comes and makes his PF worse or let him go now while he's happy and full of life.

I'm going to leave this thread now, I'm getting too upset to read it. I'd never do anything to hurt him.

I did think about you today I have been there its horrible you have done everything you can for him, you make sure you have a happy day whatever you decide to do and I would love to see the pictures big hug from me x

 

[Cheshire Chestnut]

Thank you everyone for your replies and nice comments. I got a second opinion from another vet yesterday and I'm so glad I did. She rang Leahurst and got all his notes, operation and biopsy results. She also found his lead vet from when he was in Leahurst and asked for some further clarification and advice. She came to see him yesterday and studied all the grass, hedges and trees in his field. She looked at his bedding, hay and stable. She put a bag over his head and made him breath for a few minutes, she made me lunge in canter round and round. She listened to his chest and decided that a course of new medicine was needed and she thought he was a long long way off being PTS.

She has given me some new drugs which are still in their trial period but are already showing really really good results. I have nothing to lose, pony seems full of life today and so happy. She explained to me, like no one else has, that PF in horses is far different from PF in humans. I am feeling positive as she said this new drug, which is a type of inhaled steroid, is a long term drug that he can stay on for life, without the bad effects of normal steroids. She said that it's a really positive sign that last time he was on his steroid treatment, he responded really well while he was on them and almost appeared symptom free. She said her and the Leahurst vet are 99% sure he will do well on these and there is no reason why he won't make a remarkable recovery.

All I can do now is wait. And pray. I have been crying all day everyday since last Thursday and now I'm crying for a different reason. I just hope hope hope that he pulls through. He's such a strong character and I know he is still loving his life.

I think I need a huge glass of wine.

 

[Tiddlypom]

What a positive turnaround, and backed up by Leahurst. Such a different prognosis from that from your previous vet.

What a roller coaster. All best wishes that your lad responds well to his new medication.

 

[loopylouise12]

Sending massive hugs. It's horrid isn't it and the decision never gets any easier or fairer. I think you've answered your own question though. Better too early than too late, you've done everything you can, its only going to get worse and at least if its on your terms you can plan everything and say your goodbyes. Xxx

 

[Cheshire Chestnut]

What a positive turnaround, and backed up by Leahurst. Such a different prognosis from that from your previous vet.

What a roller coaster. All best wishes that your lad responds well to his new medication.

Thank you, I'm keeping everything crossed. Trying not to get my hopes up too much but also thing not to negative too. X

 

[Sheep]

Good luck CC, hope he responds well to new drugs and that you have many more years of fun left together. You know the forum is always here to support you when you need a listening ear. Now pour yourself a large glass of vino! X

 

[Leo Walker]

Brilliant! I hope he has many happy years with you