Who pays? Trailer dilemma

Equine_Dream

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I think it's a case where we're all different; some have morals and some don't. It's just a case of do as you'd like to be done to, especially to a 'friend'.

I like to be able to sleep at night with a clear conscience; it obviously doesn't bother a lot of you.
Wow I'm surprised you have taken the time to descend from the heavens and come amongst us mere mortals. Now come fellow scum let's all join together and chant the words we're not worthy!
 

WeeLassie

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Well, if it happened to me, I would thank my lucky stars that the flat happened (and they do, not your friends fault, blame the roads, the hedge trimmers, whatever but not her) when I was with someone and in a safe place. Wouldv been far worse had it happened on a major road, and you'd been on your own.
 

amymay

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Wow I'm surprised you have taken the time to descend from the heavens and come amongst us mere mortals. Now come fellow scum let's all join together and chant the words we're not worthy!
Totally uncalled for.

I think regardless of the ins and outs (days off work, blah, blah) yes I'd have offered you some money for the tyre.
 

Equine_Dream

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Totally uncalled for.

I think regardless of the ins and outs (days off work, blah, blah) yes I'd have offered you some money for the tyre.
Well I'm afraid I find the implication myself and those who think expecting the OP's friend to pay towards the tyre is a bit OTT, have no morals totally uncalled for.
 

risky business

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Op if you would like the money for the tyre just ask for it.

I personally hate hinting and would much rather someone just say what they mean so I know where I stand.

Doing favours is very much a grey area especially with friends and that's why it's far easier to not mix friends and situations that involve money.

It wasn't your friends fault, you know full well that if you take your trailer out something could happen to it.

However I think I would have offered to pay towards a new tyre seems you went out your way to take me to a show. I don't think she's obliged to pay though.
 

Pearlsasinger

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When are people going to wake up to the fact that fuel money doesn't cover it, there is the extra wear on the towing vehicle such as tyres, service interval comes round quicker, more mileage on the vehicle devalues it etc ,then the wear and tare on the trailer as well, tight arsed friends ain't friends.
If the friend pays more than petrol money, it becomes 'hire or reward'. I hope the friend bought lunch in addition to the diesel but I can't see how she can be responsible for a flat tyre. And if anyone is wondering, we have given lifts to friends/neighbours but have also been grateful to others for he!ping us when needed

And having said that, if OP had given me a lift I would have offered to at least contribute to the cost of the tyre, particularly knowing her circumstances.
 
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Pedantic

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If someone pays you by buying you lunch then it's still hire and reward, if they give you a box of chocolates it's payment, the hire and reward thing is another problem as far as your insurance goes, maybe a separate post needs to be opened on this very subject.
 

wench

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Another problem to possibly contend with, I hope your friend doesn't come in here. She soon won't be your friend after she's found you've posted about her
 

GirlFriday

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Oh FGS OP. You've just got an expensive house in a divorce from another perspective.

You had a nice day out. You bought trailer she bought horse. Would you have covered any vets bills?!?
 

jokadoka

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As the owner of the trailer I would not ask for a contribution.
As the friend, I would definitely offer to go at least halves, regardless of your personal situation.
 

fatpiggy

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OK, try this one on for size - it s a real story. An friend, but not someone I knew particularly well asked me if I would mind giving her a lift home as we don't live too far apart and her partner who normally takes her, was van-less due to a breakdown. Not a problem to me so off we went. I dropped her off at the end of her road and headed for my own home. Two minutes from my road someone drove out of a side road straight into the side of my car. His insurance picked up the bill but I had to arrange for my car to go to a local garage (it was driveable), collect the courtesy car so that meant time off, couldn't use the courtesy car to buy feed etc as I normally would in order to keep it spotlessly clean, had to be without my own familiar car for 2 weeks, then take more time off to have it delivered back and sign off the courtesy car as all present and correct. Should I have asked my friend for a contribution for all the trouble giving a simple lift home brought on me? After all, had I not driven to her street, I wouldn't have been on the road where the accident occurred.

And another example, I got two nails in my front tyres on separate occasions from the yard where I kept my horse. Should I have asked my YO for a contribution to the cost of the repair of one, and replacement of the other? It was their fault for not keeping their nails in a box when they were using them after all.
 

Deltic Blue

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I can understand why you're miffed, I would be too especially if you hadn't taken your own horse out for the day.
If I was your friend I'd at least offer for something towards the spare tyre.

This is exactly why I don't like taking people out in my box if I'm not taking my own horse, as things like this happen.
I've had a few people ask me recently to take their horses places whilst mine has been off injured, and I've always said no. I'll only consider it if my horse is going too, and then it's only if it's a small horse as I've only got a 3.5t.
 

RollOnSpring

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Oh FGS OP. You've just got an expensive house in a divorce from another perspective.

You had a nice day out. You bought trailer she bought horse. Would you have covered any vets bills?!?
Quite an assumption. No, not an expensive house - one that has subsidence and isn't worth anything so we couldn't sell it. Ex husband works abroad and refused to have anything to do with it, I haven't had a lot of choice. But thanks for your judgement.
 

RollOnSpring

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OK, try this one on for size - it s a real story. An friend, but not someone I knew particularly well asked me if I would mind giving her a lift home as we don't live too far apart and her partner who normally takes her, was van-less due to a breakdown. Not a problem to me so off we went. I dropped her off at the end of her road and headed for my own home. Two minutes from my road someone drove out of a side road straight into the side of my car. His insurance picked up the bill but I had to arrange for my car to go to a local garage (it was driveable), collect the courtesy car so that meant time off, couldn't use the courtesy car to buy feed etc as I normally would in order to keep it spotlessly clean, had to be without my own familiar car for 2 weeks, then take more time off to have it delivered back and sign off the courtesy car as all present and correct. Should I have asked my friend for a contribution for all the trouble giving a simple lift home brought on me? After all, had I not driven to her street, I wouldn't have been on the road where the accident occurred.

And another example, I got two nails in my front tyres on separate occasions from the yard where I kept my horse. Should I have asked my YO for a contribution to the cost of the repair of one, and replacement of the other? It was their fault for not keeping their nails in a box when they were using them after all.
I can see what you're saying but on both occasions, you were going somewhere yourself anyway; you were going home anyway and you just changed your route to drop a friend off and you were going to the yard to see YOUR horse.

I took my trailer out just for her. It was parked in a barn at that yard, just stood there going no where. It wouldn't have moved if I hadn't taken her - I have no horse to put in it. Like I've explained on another post, the trailer will be sold but I just hadn't got round to it so thought I'd offer to help her in the interim.

Although I'm out of pocket (my allowance for food for the week is the whole amount the tyre cost me) I am still proud of her, she did cracking at the event. I'm just sad I feel so down about it all but I suppose that's just a lot of personal circumstances building up to feel like a mountain. Just a shame as the friend does know all this but hey ho, i count myself very told off by everyone on this forum for even contemplating asking for the money.
 

Crackerz

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Your friend should have offered to pay all of it, and imo, insisted on at least half.

I wouldn't lend my horse box out, any more than i would lend my car out. Far too precious to me.


For those saying 'it could happen any time', what if the OP lent her trailer to a friend and didn't go along, and the friend got the puncture. Would you still expect the owner of the trailer to pay for the tyre or the user at the time?
 

Deltic Blue

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Your friend should have offered to pay all of it, and imo, insisted on at least half.

I wouldn't lend my horse box out, any more than i would lend my car out. Far too precious to me.
Exactly this! I would be mortified if a friend took just my horse out alone, knowing full well she doesn't have a horse to take, plus knwoing OP's own personal circumstances, then the trailer got a flat tyre! I would insist on paying for it, as the trailer wouldn't be on the road if I hadn't asked!

Completely agree with not lending horseboxes/trailers. Mine was not cheap at all to buy, and all it takes is for one horse to not load/travel well or god forbid an accident, then you're very much out of pocket and paying for damages when it wouldn't have been on the road in the first place!
 

YorksG

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I recently took a friends mare a good few hundred miles, to stud, for her. We got stuck in a vile traffic jam and wgot much too hot, but such is life. When we got to our destination and unloaded the mare the lorry decided not to reverse, called out the breakdown people who sorted a temp repair. Friend was mortified, but I told her not to stress, it happened on a private road with no animal on board and with no time pressure to get anywhere. I was just glad that we weren't on the way to or from a show with our horses on board. Sometimes it helps to look at things from a different angle. Yes the OP's trailer needs a new tyre, but no-one was hurt and all people and animals got home in one piece, win win as far as I can see.
 

Michen

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Good point.

Your friend should have offered to pay all of it, and imo, insisted on at least half.

I wouldn't lend my horse box out, any more than i would lend my car out. Far too precious to me.


For those saying 'it could happen any time', what if the OP lent her trailer to a friend and didn't go along, and the friend got the puncture. Would you still expect the owner of the trailer to pay for the tyre or the user at the time?
 

Downton Dame

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you need to be a registered transporter or its illegal to charge. put it down to experience and dont transport anybody again.
 

skint1

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I used to regularly lend my trailer out to a couple of yard friends. I don't know how it happened but in the interval between one friend using it and the next the hitchlock became jammed and needed to be drilled out.

One of them wanted to use it so they very kindly arranged for a friend to drill the lock out but unfortunately that didn't solve the issue, the whole mechanism needs replacing.

However it happened I am confident it wasn't through carelessness or neglect, it's just one of those wear and tear things that happens occasionally and it's not worth burning over. Both of my friends have now bought their own trailers so when I do get mine fixed it won't be an issue going forward. I think lending big items like cars or trailer or lorries can be fraught with difficulty, so I probably wouldn't offer to lend it out to anyone again. For the OP, I would just chalk it up to experience and move on.
 

fatpiggy

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I can see what you're saying but on both occasions, you were going somewhere yourself anyway; you were going home anyway and you just changed your route to drop a friend off and you were going to the yard to see YOUR horse.

I took my trailer out just for her. It was parked in a barn at that yard, just stood there going no where. It wouldn't have moved if I hadn't taken her - I have no horse to put in it. Like I've explained on another post, the trailer will be sold but I just hadn't got round to it so thought I'd offer to help her in the interim.

Although I'm out of pocket (my allowance for food for the week is the whole amount the tyre cost me) I am still proud of her, she did cracking at the event. I'm just sad I feel so down about it all but I suppose that's just a lot of personal circumstances building up to feel like a mountain. Just a shame as the friend does know all this but hey ho, i count myself very told off by everyone on this forum for even contemplating asking for the money.

Actually I wasn't taking my friend home after seeing to a horse - my horse had been dead for 2 years by then.

You asked for opinions and like the recent EU debarcle, not everyone has agreed with you. As with the latter you just have to do the best you can with the result.
 

RollOnSpring

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Actually I wasn't taking my friend home after seeing to a horse - my horse had been dead for 2 years by then.

You asked for opinions and like the recent EU debarcle, not everyone has agreed with you. As with the latter you just have to do the best you can with the result.
Splitting hairs here but you said another occasion about nails in tyres after being parked at the yard. I just put the two examples together. I didn't mean you were dropping the friend off after seeing your horse. Parking at the yard was what I meant.
 

GirlFriday

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Quite an assumption. No, not an expensive house - one that has subsidence and isn't worth anything so we couldn't sell it. Ex husband works abroad and refused to have anything to do with it, I haven't had a lot of choice. But thanks for your judgement.
You said the mortgage was big. Mortgage companies aren't charities so for you to get the expensive mortgage you must have an expensive house. And, now it is yours you are free to do what you want. Grass is always greener and, have to say your personal circs are quite enviable compared toone at present!
 

annagain

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If I was the friend I would have offered to pay. If I was you I would have refused or offered to go halves if she insisted. Friendship is more important to me both ways.

Just out of interest - and this is a genuine question. Would you feel the same if it was one of the car's tyres rather than the trailer's?
 

peaceandquiet1

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Op I feel the friend, given her knowledge of your circumstances, could have offered to pay towards the tyre. You put yourself out for her, she had her successful day out, and I think she should have offered you half.
 

ester

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If you want her to pay for it just ask.
Stop hinting and then being stroppy because she hasn't noticed the hints.

Yes many would have offered, but lots wouldn't as picking up punctures is just one of those things and it wasn't damage caused directly by herself or her horse which is perhaps why she hasn't offered.
 
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