Whose horse is it anyway? rant, sorry

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KrankyKaty

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I've got a 4 yr old that i keep on full livery inc riding because i'm a really nervous rider and am trying to build up my confidence with my cob, having lessons etc. The girl who owns the yard has been working my 4 yr old since he was backed last year and has all his tack and does everyting to suit herself, times days etc. I've asked to be told when their going to do things like juumping and stuff but i always seem to be forgotten about. So a month or so ago a friend whose a really good rider took an interest in my 4 yr old and wanted to ride him. sincve i'm paying for him to be worked i thought this was a great idea because he'd do a bit more and i could see what hes doing. only the girl at the yard is now being really funny with me about it. being awkward when i ask for his tack, making pointed comments about not ruining him and being really negative and short about anything i say about it all. The way shes acting you'd think it was her horse and i was putting her out borrowing him :(

i don't want to fall out with her as shes been my friend for ages to but i feel like i have to ask permission to do something with my horse and he's my horse! i don't wanrt to stop my friend riding him because it will mean i get to hack out with her on him and see him working in the school, which never seems to happen when the girl sorts his exersise out. I don't want to move and i don't want to upset anyone but all the attitude is really getting to me now. i'm as nice as i can be, politely saying when we want to use him so she doesn't have to ride him and i'm always greatful for all she does but i just get one word answers and then ignored on thre yard. even though i never cause any trouble and pay her alot of money. i have't even said anything about taking him off of exersise but i think i want to try to claim him back a bit.

Help? :o
 
You say shes been a friend for ages? The behaviour you have mentioned doesn't seem friendly.........more like she is acting like the horse is hers. Its your horse, your decision who rides it, when its ridden and what ridden work is done with it!

You say you pay her a lot of money.........then she is basically in your employment.....sack her!! lol. No seriously its sad when you feel put in an awkward spot when you are making a decision that ultimately is yours to make. Try politely pointing out that your friend will be riding your horse.

Think the worst thing people can do is "give over" their tack to other people as then you don't have control over the situation.

Good luck but just remember ultimately it is your horse!!
 
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Maybe YO is concerned that having a second person involved will result in the horse being over-worked, or not worked consistently enough - he could get confused by it? He is only four, after all.

Why not take your YO a nice tin of biscuits or something and ask if she will sit down with you and discuss your horse's progress so far? As you are his owner, it is only right that she should keep you informed. Perhaps ask to see him ridden.

If she refuses outright, then I'd be concerned...
 
From your post it sounds like you are paying this girl to bring on your youngster but you don't get to see him being worked? At 4 he maybe a bit young to be jumping much being a cob and slow to mature but I think you should at least be able to see him being worked and certainly shouldn't feel pushed out of the way of your own horse :(

I'd definitely ask for a progress report weekly and watch her schooling him, from your post it sounds as if he may not be coming on that well and she doesn't want you to know. I may have picked it up wrong though.

I can on the other hand understand her concern at bringing another rider on board in the early stages but he's your horse at the end of the day and she could offer to do a short lesson with your friend or something?
 
CP I don't think the 4 yo is the cob!

OP sit down with her and tell her what you're unhappy with. If she's truly a friend then she'll accommodate you - if not then it may be time to look at other yards.
 
If it were me I would stop her riding my horse, after all he is yours not hers and you can do whatever you want with him. I'd be really offended, after all you own him and she has no right to dictate or be 'funny' with you over anything.
You are paying her a lot of money, she is there to do a service for you, not the other way around!
I'd politely tell her that I don't want her to exercise my horse anymore as I have found another rider in my friend.
I would also be very concerned about not being kept informed and not seeing him ridden, after all if she is running him into the ground without your knowledge then at the end when he is knackered at 6/7 who is stuck with the horse then? You.
 
If your horse is full livery, then I wouldn't expect to be told when he's being worked, or what they are doing with him (if you've given them a free rein, and trust their judgement.) However, what I would expect is to be able to see him worked at least once a fortnight at a mutually convenient time to see how he is progressing.

I can also see where the YO is coming from with regards to your friend riding the horse. If he's now established enough that he can be safely ridden out of the yard, then yes your friend could ride him out every now and again with you (providing she's experienced enough). But if he's not - you only want one person on him, not mixing the jockey's up.
 
If it were me, i would ask to see the horse worked so as to see how he's coming on. If she's at all funny with it ( its not unreasonable as after all she's being paid to bring him on ) then i would ask her to hand over the tack so you can dictate who rides and when. I would however have only one main person schooling as with him being a youngster, I would worry about confusing him, but i guess that depends on how far on his schooling is. I dont see anything wrong with having different people hack him out tho.
 
Um, sorry if being numpty here.

BUT as I see it, by OP's own admission she is "nervous" and maybe pairing up with a 4 y.o. is maybe a little optimistic for her level of experience at the current time???

Sooo..... YO has quite rightly foreseen this and as OP is paying for the horse to be "worked" uses her judgement and puts someone up who can bring the horse on and do stuff that OP might basically be *****-scared to do on it.

OP then sees someone else riding her horse and doing well with it; and although she isn't (yet) able to ride it herself to this level and/or bring on a young horse, either on the confidence OR ability levels - feels she's being left out of things.

Yes it IS OP's horse; but reading between the lines she feels unable (at the moment) to bring on a youngster - so someone else is doing it, and doing it efficiently by all accounts.

This is a difficult one; bad habits can all too easily be allowed to happen at this stage - bringing on a youngster needs skill, ability, plus the requisite confidence!! If the owner lacks the ability/confidence, then surely it is the best solution for someone who IS able to ride it???

Suggest perhaps OP could maybe have an occasional lesson with her horse; it needn't necessarily be a ridden lesson at this stage - perhaps someone to show her how to get some good groundwork established (vital at this stage), then perhaps progress to ridden work and see how things go. The most important thing being not to rush either the horse or the rider/owner.

The other thing OP might consider is having a lesson on a schoolmaster to gain in confidence, so that she may get onto her own horse at the earliest opportunity.
 
Three possibilities come to mind when I read your post.

1. The yard owner may take extreme pride in her work and be concerned that another person riding the youngster may be detrimental to his training and look bad on her, as she has been in charge of his training so far.
2. She maybe is not riding the youngster as often as you are paying her for, or at all!
3. The youngster's training is not going well.

I cannot see any good reason why she should not keep you informed of when she is riding him. That is very suspicious to me. Either that or she just prefers to do it alone. Sometimes I prefer to school horses without someone being there chatting to me. People can get on your nerves if they are always around. Some more than others.
 
Another thing to consider is that the OP's friend may not be much of a jockey either - hence the YO's reluctance to let her ride.....
 
You've answered your own post really :) He's your horse and you should get to decide what is done with him. You're paying her for a service and being 'funny' with you over tack or seeing him worked is downright rude of her.

If he has not long been brought back into work then if he were mine I'd keep the number of people schooling him to a minimum but if he's been schooled for a while now I see no problem in having two experienced people schooling him in the basics...even less problem if one is for just for hacking! All of that is largely irrelevant though - he's your horse and if you want ten different people schooling then that's your business. I wonder how she'd behave if you weren't a nervous rider and wanted to ride him yourself?

Out of interest, why is his tack kept with her and not in a general tack area?
 
pookie said:
Out of interest, why is his tack kept with her and not in a general tack area?
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I've only been on one yard that catered specifically for tack, within a very secure area. The insurance implications, and encouragement of theft means that many don't.

So apart from the one yard, your tack went home with you - or stayed with the YO if the horse was to be exercised for you.
 
it is your horse but you are paying for the YO to bring him on, you have given her free rein to ride him and she is doing this! What i would be concerned about though is you not being able to watch some of these ridden sessions, when was the last time you saw him ridden and how did you feel he had progressed?
At the end of the day though, friend or not, if you are not happy with how things are working at the moment you need to step up and say so, if YO friend gets the hump then i would be looking to move the horse to another yard and perhaps get someone who you don't have a friendship with to bring on your horse and teach you on him so that you don't find yourself in the same position again.:)
 
Heart of a Lion said:
Yet it is ultimately not the YO's decision
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No, it's not, but if I was in the YO's position, I would refuse to ride the horse in that situation.
Basically, I think the OP should be able to see the horse working from time to time, but needs to make a decision here - is the horse on livery with exercise, or is it entrusted to the YO to produce (ie schooling livery)? If the former, do as you please and put anybody you please on it, if the latter, trust the producer's system or move yards.
 
amymay said:
I've only been on one yard that catered specifically for tack, within a very secure area. The insurance implications, and encouragement of theft means that many don't.

So apart from the one yard, your tack went home with you - or stayed with the YO if the horse was to be exercised for you.
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Very different to my experiences :) Any yard I've been on has had a tack room for the use of all liveries.
 
martlin said:
No, it's not, but if I was in the YO's position, I would refuse to ride the horse in that situation.
Basically, I think the OP should be able to see the horse working from time to time, but needs to make a decision here - is the horse on livery with exercise, or is it entrusted to the YO to produce (ie schooling livery)? If the former, do as you please and put anybody you please on it, if the latter, trust the producer's system or move yards.
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This may be where the confusion is - I read the OP's use of "full livery" as meaning precisely that. Maybe it is actually schooling livery, which (as you say) is a bit different.
 
martlin said:
No, it's not, but if I was in the YO's position, I would refuse to ride the horse in that situation.
Basically, I think the OP should be able to see the horse working from time to time, but needs to make a decision here - is the horse on livery with exercise, or is it entrusted to the YO to produce (ie schooling livery)? If the former, do as you please and put anybody you please on it, if the latter, trust the producer's system or move yards.
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Refuse to ride the horse and cost herself/her business money??

I agree though they need to be adult sit down and discuss the situation/reasons for YO not wanting horse ridden by friend
 
amymay said:
Well, yes I think it probably is to be fair. These things usually end up being mopped up by the YO.
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Disagree......you make the decision you live with the consequences. YO has no part in decision of who rides horse other than asking owner to move from yard if YO doesn't want the hassle.

Horse owner makes decision........takes consequences of said action surely?
 
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