Why can’t I just do stuff with my horse? Is there a good calmer to help?

[Nasicus]

She’s currently in fire breathing dragon mode, which starts when she leaves the herd behind. A few weeks ago she was brilliant - but now she’s not. We tried to go to an arena hire this evening in preparation for a clinic on Saturday, but couldn’t even get up the road to my friend who was waiting with the trailer. I’m not loading a spinning, whinnying mare who’s panicking because she’s leaving her friends behind.

Given the opening post and her post history, what advice did OP expect? For someone to suggest some magic potion and agree that it's a sensible idea to be suddenly taking a stressed out, recently weaned, panicking (op's words) mare with attachment issues and travelling her multiple hours off to a two day meetup, when she couldn't even get her to the box for the 'test run'?
People took the time to give her the advice she needed to hear (people with far more experience with both general horsemanship AND weaning than she I might add!) which she agreed with ("Thank you for your replies, you have confirmed what has been at the back of my mind."), but she still decided to disregard the advice she had solicited.

And when we consider OP was recently forced to wean the foal early due to mounting behaviour, does that mean that OP booked this with the intention of travelling the mare and foal to this two day event? Separating them whilst the mare was being ridden/in the arena? Or was the OP intending the leave the foal behind with the others whilst un-weaned? Or did OP book this event in the two weeks since the foal was weaned, despite the stress and effects weaning has on the mare? Either way you slice it it was a bad idea from the start and doesn't exactly give a good impression of OP.

Look, I am relieved that it didn't go completely tits up in the immediacy, and that OP and the mare are safe and home again in one piece. But the potential for it to be a real sh*tshow were high.

 

[Nancykitt]

It came over to me as the OP being frustrated at the mare’s behaviour and wanting advice on how to get the mare to the clinic- hence the reference to the calmer. I didn’t honestly think that the advice to postpone this particular outing was ever on the cards - she wanted to go because other people do stuff with their horses.
I could be wrong, that’s just how it came over to me.