Why can’t I just do stuff with my horse? Is there a good calmer to help?

I just 'do things' with mine, BUT...there's all the loading practise at home, then driving round the block, then going to a nearby friendly venue & starting with groundwork-type clinics, then going to a different venue & doing the same etc etc, then progressing to ridden clinics... Boxed to a friend's for first hack, in hand at first then mounted. A bit at a time. Nothing overwhelming. Keeping up with everything at home. I backed her myself, I've done all the work & she was a really timid little thing who was frightened of absolutely everything when I first got her as a 3 yo. But now she will go anywhere and do anything, which tbh seemed spectacularly unlikely as a feral 3 yo when she was terrified of me & I never thought I was going to be able to catch her EVER, let alone touch her! Sounds like you are ready to work out a sensible plan over a decent timescale, and get help if needed.
 
It’s been so hectic with everything going on so I haven’t quite kept up with replies in here.

But we did go - and it went better than I could have imagined. Loading was easy, she was quiet during the transport, stepped off the box like it was a normal day, we took her to the river next to the equestrian centre where the event was taking place and she loved cooling off in there and drinking (she does that on hacks too).

Put her in a stable, no issues. Had plenty of time to brush her and she was munching her hay. Took her inside the arena for a conformation assessment, she was calm and happy and got some lovely feedback.

Then later we had a 30 minute private lesson which was equally useful. She’s very green despite being ten but she did so well. I’ve never ridden her indoors or even in a school, we were walking and trotting and she listened well and it was very undramatic.

Another little cooling off in the river and a rest in the stable before heading home - she was even better at loading and travelling - probably tired. Happy to get back to the field and her friend was happy to see her (she has other horses over the fence line and seemed to have coped fine).

Foal boy recovering well with his friend (so mares back in their old field) and now that we’ve had some very eventful few days I will get back to the basics and normal everyday life - but taking her out gave me confidence that we can do it in the future (there are twice yearly shows/clinics at the same place with people I know) and be part of the Icelandic community.

If I hadn’t paid for it I would have cancelled it, and I would have been less exhausted now 😜 but I wouldn’t have known how easy she was and not got the confidence to do it again. If she had had a complete meltdown I would have called it off, of course. But it was a brilliant experience and I’m glad I went.
 
I knew you would go. You are beyond selfish, "if I hadn't paid."

Poor horses being stuck with someone as self serving and ignorant as you. The breeders who sold to you are irresponsible too.
 
This is just taking advantage of your horse's good nature now.

Outwardly quiet does not mean inwardly coping.

You bought a completely inappropriate animal for what you wanted and are now treating it completely unfairly.
 
To be fair, whilst the update is surprising (and perhaps not what some of us would have done or could have recommended on the information given) we don't know that the horse wasn't as fine as described by the OP.

Some of the responses have been the wrong side of robust feedback and crossed into uncomfortable IMHO. Let's not make this personal or give the OP a reason to not want to ask more advice in the future.
 
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