Why do time wasters make a hard decision harder?

There really is no need to be sooo nasty GW. I am very sorry that you lost a horse, wouldn't wish that on anyone. No one is giving a "there there" approach at all. What we are trying to do is advise next course of action. There is absolutely no need and no point in going around in circles criticising the OP'S life choices and the fact she bred the horse. Fact is it's here now and OP wants to sell. I bred a foal - I sold it, suppose you have a problem with that too?? Makes me evil I suppose? Tell that to the pony's new owners who are having a fabulous time driving her and got in touch.
 
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Gingerwitch said:
Hang on - dont come on here posting about a "beloved" animal - when you can do something about keeping it !

I just wish i like many others had the choice to keep really "beloved horses"

I am not on about buying and selling of horses on a general scale but to the fact that she is having to sell her "beloved youngster". If it was beloved she would be putting up a darn sight better fight to keep it.

And the biggest time wasters around are those that breed without thinking through full their actions and winge about the fact she cant move on a 2 year old in one of the worst selling markets - just before the winter.
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Gingerwitch I was going to comment on your post this morning but I didn't get the time in the end but seeing as you are still in the same frame of mind.... Some of the things you are saying are very unkind - you got plenty of support during your hard times. It seems to me your personal grief is making you say things which perhaps you would not have before you lost your horse? If not then sadly you are living up to your name. :(

Just remember you are not alone in suffering grief over a loved one be that man or beast or the only one who has ever faced difficulties - remember this and try to be more tolerant and maybe avoid posts like this during this vulnerable time.:)
 
Hairy cob - as long as i have a breath in me I would not sell anything breathing that was beloved.

Holier than thou - thats fine by me, i did not breed a foal and then a baby without thinking of the consequences
 
OP for all the posts on here, people get emotional about horses, its something about horse lovers which you fully understand because you love yours, so do not take what has been said personally, its an emotion thing, but I do wish you the very best of luck and try every avenue to find a solution for you, baby and the horse (chuck it in a field if you can) but most of all head up high and be strong, and by the way, 9/10 times a woman tells her man she is leaving he actually gets off his arse. Good luck.
 
Then you do live up to your name. How sad for you.
I find it hard to understand how someone who can obviously love can be so lacking in compassion to a human being who is suffering. Especially one who has so recently needed to draw on the compassion & sympathy of others herself.
 
Gingerwitch said:
Hairy cob - as long as i have a breath in me I would not sell anything breathing that was beloved.

Holier than thou - thats fine by me, i did not breed a foal and then a baby without thinking of the consequences
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Oh dear. There's no helping you is there. I would hate to be so narrow minded as you are. I really hope for your sake that life doesn't do you a bad deal, lord only knows how you would cope with that attitude.
 
I don't get why anyone sends others on here abusive PMs - why?? What does that gain? The point of a forum is you put a post on andyou need to be prepared for various opinions on what you write about - especially subjects like this!

I still think GW has some very vaild points and, if she has been there and done that then it's not like she hasn't experienced the hardships herself. At the end of the day, we have to take responsibility for what we do. IF we want something enough then as far as I'm concerned you do all you can to get/keep it. There ARE ways, you just have to look for them. I don't agree with the "woe is me" type posts to be honest and hence I would never post one. If you do, you need to be prepared some people may give you some harsh 'advice'!
 
Gingerwitch said:
Hairy cob - as long as i have a breath in me I would not sell anything breathing that was beloved.

Holier than thou - thats fine by me, i did not breed a foal and then a baby without thinking of the consequences
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Far too unrealistic to say that.
If you lose your job next week, and cannot get another, the bills are mounting and the perfect home came up where your horse would want for nothing and would be getting better than currently with you, you could honestly deny your horse that home?
I couldn't........Ultimately the horse deserves more than he is currently getting. OP can't provide that for her own PERSONAL reasons, and as such is doing the best by him to get a good caring home where he can progress.
Hardly makes her a monster does it?
 
maisie06 said:
Oh dear. There's no helping you is there. I would hate to be so narrow minded as you are. I really hope for your sake that life doesn't do you a bad deal, lord only knows how you would cope with that attitude.
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That's the point though isn't it - many people get a raw deal in life but some people deal with situations better than others even though, at least for a time, it might be bloody hard!
 
joeanne said:
Far too unrealistic to say that.
If you lose your job next week, and cannot get another, the bills are mounting and the perfect home came up where your horse would want for nothing and would be getting better than currently with you, you could honestly deny your horse that home?
I couldn't........Ultimately the horse deserves more than he is currently getting. OP can't provide that for her own PERSONAL reasons, and as such is doing the best by him to get a good caring home where he can progress.
Hardly makes her a monster does it?
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Whilst I agree to some degree, the OP here is married so one would assume made the decision to get pregnant (there are plenty of ways of preventing that!) even though she knew she had a horse that she ultimately wanted to get broken in in the next year or so. Most people do plan these things (ok, accidents can happen!) but, why not have a child later of that's the case? Why bring a child into the equation at all when seemingly the father is being made out to be pretty unhelpful?

If I lost my job tomorrow I WOULD get another job - there are plenty out there whatever people say. Even if it was several P/T jobs. You just do what you have to at the end of the day.
 
Joanne - she has not got him a caring home though has she ! - that's the whole point - and sorry but its a bit late now to be be-moaning about all and sundry when she is the one that is in the mess. She had options - she has had options for over 9 months - advertise the youngster earlier this year, now its a panic before winter sets in.
 
smokey said:
Well aren't you just the perfect example of humility! I actually missed this post earlier, but can't ignore it now. I hope you never find yourself in the same position as the OP. no-one can see what's ahead of them, and no-one has the right to be so judgemental of another. Shiny new baby? That comment alone is totally vile. :mad:
And FWIW, if you care to look back at previous posts, I think you will find that OP's OH is not only unsupportive physically, but also refuses to pay for the horse since the OP is no longer earning. You would probably get on quite well with him.
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Couldn't have said it better myself.

At the end of the day, I am sure the OP loves her horse, but loves her baby 100,000,000 times more. And that is who her main priority is. The horse will find a new home, the baby won't.
 
Gingerwitch - you live up to your name because you lack compassion for someone who is suffering. I'm sorry you received vile pms but surely that makes your own attitude to the OP even less understandable - though at least you have the integrity to post in public. Like I said it would have been better if the horse hadn't been bred but maybe life didn't turn out as the OP was expecting. There are plenty of people I know in real life who are having to deal with really, really horrid unexpected turns of events - kids with life shortening illness, their OH being diagnosed with cancer & being given just a few months to live even though they don't actually even feel ill yet (spotted during a check on a chronic but not lifethreatening condition in case you are wondering) etc. Surely you can't be the only person in the world who has managed to perfectly plan her life.
 
wow just wow:eek: the anger in your posts GW obviously stems from the loss of your Big lad, but is that really the OP's fault, does she really deserve such a tongue lashing from you? if you recieved nasty pms and found them vile and hurtful can you not see that what you are doing here to the OP is no different, are you happy to lower yourself to the same level as the people who sent you nasty comments. :confused: you had the support both emotionally and financially from your OH during your battle for the big lad, the op has neither from her OH which is why she is in this situation.:(

And to the OP, yes it is a tough time to sell and timewasters do make it feel twice as bad, i'm selling daughters outgrown pony and have had a few no shows and others promising to get in contact to arrange a viewing and then falling off the face of the earth. I can only agree with others who have suggested grass livery, or do you have any friends who would take your youngster as a companion for 6 months to give you a break? if i didn't still have the pony i'd offer but i'm at max capacity :(
 
I certainly have not had a perfect life - i have had more loss and heartache than most of you put together.

Yes i am bloody angry - I am angry that she has something she says she loves but wont get her life sorted out to keep him.
 
Gingerwitch said:
I certainly have not had a perfect life - i have had more loss and heartache than most of you put together.

Yes i am bloody angry - I am angry that she has something she says she loves but wont get her life sorted out to keep him.
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Oh get a grip woman.

What a load of tosh. More grief than most us put together, bollox.

YOU have no clue what others have gone through, what a ridiculous statement.

Now is the time to wind your neck in and gracefully retreat before you end up saying something you regret.
 
Gingerwitch - have you considered counselling it might stop you feeling so bitter & sorry for yourself. Right now you are not putting yourself across as a very nice person which is a shame because I suspect it's just the grief talking.

You have no idea how much anyone on here has suffered - after all you made that point yourself earlier. It might be a good idea to remember that right now.
 
Gingerwitch said:
I certainly have not had a perfect life - i have had more loss and heartache than most of you put together.

Yes i am bloody angry - I am angry that she has something she says she loves but wont get her life sorted out to keep him.
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you have no idea what losses people have been through, so not sure why you feel it is ok to say that you have suffered more than anyone else here.

Do you have children? If not, you have no idea about making a choice between a child and a horse.
 
Ginger witch. Have you actually lost the plot? Maybe the op should give her baby away to enable her to keep the horse? Maybe this would be your ideal solution.
What a strange way to carry on! We have all lost horses but to be this bitter and nasty towards someone you don't even know. .. weird
 
Ginger witch you put him down because you loved him and didn't want him to suffer anymore, you must take comfort in that, you are a good person but we cannot change lifes course, we can only deal with it, hugs to you, I think tonight you need it. Be strong.
 
You are a waste of space GW. What a vile person you are. All of your posts have always been so negative and so angry. The OP has her priories straight - yours are the ones that are skewed. You obviously haven't had kids i guess from your posts - mores the pity, maybe they would have softened your personality. they MUST come first, having a horse is a luxury and often in life luxuries have to be given up to put your family first - the OP is not alone in doing that and most certainly did not deserve your wrath. For what it's worth, I'm sure you don't have the monopoly on having a tough life so pull yourself together - or go back to bathing in self pity - I doubt anyone cares.
 
GW - I am very sorry you lost your horse. I lost Catembi after the most harrowing 6-month struggle. I actually **did** move heaven & earth to try & save him, and very nearly managed it. In fact, I thought I'd won and was ecstatic, until he had a sudden relapse. Even now, 5 1/2 years on, if there was anything I could do to bring him back, I'd do it.

T x
 
putasocinit said:
Ginger witch you put him down because you loved him and didn't want him to suffer anymore, you must take comfort in that, you are a good person but we cannot change lifes course, we can only deal with it, hugs to you, I think tonight you need it. Be strong.
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It is lovely that you are able to give Gingerwitch the compassion she seems to be lacking for the OP. I hope she realises that.
 
I don't have kids but if I did and had to choose between them and the horse, the horse would go. How any one could argue that is beyond me
 
Hairy cob - as long as i have a breath in me I would not sell anything breathing that was beloved.
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Well GW, here's one for you.
My previous horse was very beloved to me, he had his faults but I loved him all the same which, in my opinion, shows a deeper love than someone who just thinks that the sun shines out of their horses a*se 24/7.
He was only 9, drop dead gorgeous, great conformation, ultra fit, fantastically well bred but most of all super talented. Together we won three dressage championships, I owned him for 3 years in total.
Last summer I was set to start University, I spent all summer trying to loan him out but to no avail, everyone who came to try him was far too inexperienced for such a quirky and riggy horse.
If I were to have kept him, he would have spent all term time in a field and then when I come home for the holidays he would be ridden. However, he still wouldn't have had the chance to compete properly for the foreseeable 3 years as I didn't have the time to properly get him fit enough to compete.
So, towards the end of summer I made the very difficult decision to sell him.

A year later he is now competing BSJA, qualifying for HOYS Ridden Hunter and just starting out on his BE career.

Now tell me, should I have kept him myself in very light and spasmodic work for a minimum of 3 years despite him being an avid and successful competitor? Or should I have sold him on so that he could do what he loved and go on to do bigger and better things?

Was I wrong to sell him?
 
Gingerwitch said:
I certainly have not had a perfect life - i have had more loss and heartache than most of you put together.

Yes i am bloody angry - I am angry that she has something she says she loves but wont get her life sorted out to keep him.
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Oh good grief this is NOT a competition over who has had the hardest life, and the most loss....FFS grow up and start acting like an adult.
Accidental pregnancy can and does happen, and even if it WAS planned, circs have obviously changed in that OP cannot cope, financially or timewise.
Its not for any of US to judge, but perhaps to have a bit of bl00dy heart and be a bit sympathetic to the fact this obviously IS a hard situation for the OP.
Ladyt25....once the baby is here all the part time jobs in the world are not going to help if there is nobody to hold the baby, so to speak!
 
putasocinit said:
Ginger witch you put him down because you loved him and didn't want him to suffer anymore, you must take comfort in that, you are a good person but we cannot change lifes course, we can only deal with it, hugs to you, I think tonight you need it. Be strong.
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Agree with this, GW you have been through so much and must still be in so much pain, for what it's worth glenruby I do care and think it horrendous that someone should receive abusive pm's for whatever reason. The OP must make a difficult decision - I hope they make the right one for both human and equine baby.
 
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