ester
Not slacking multitasking
I love people who talk in riddles too 
Why do time wasters make a hard decision harder?
- Thread starter flaxen
- Start date
putasocinit
Well-Known Member
Xander brilliant suggestion for a way forward for the OP,
FionaM12
Well-Known Member
Oh okay. This is supposed to suggest to us that the OP is some sort of fraud, and everyone but you has been taken in?
Now you're really making a bit of a twit of yourself.
Oh, and you might want to get your question mark key fixed.
murphysmummy
Well-Known Member
I've read this whole thread and was shocked at how it degraded into a slanging match! I think that yes most of gw's posts were nasty but I also think the way that most of you have jumped on her is equally as bad.
We are human beings who all share the same passion and turn to this forum for help and support. I believe that both the op and gw need our help so let's all grow up and treat each other with a bit of respect!
We are human beings who all share the same passion and turn to this forum for help and support. I believe that both the op and gw need our help so let's all grow up and treat each other with a bit of respect!
Aperchristmas
Well-Known Member
Ummm I've lived in the same village for my entire life and there are still people I don't know, I don't even know every single horsey person in the area as many keep themselves to themselves.....not sure how relevant that comment is as it is almost impossible to know everyone in a community, let alone an entire county!
GW I followed your Big Lad's story with an aching heart having gone through a similar story with my old mare. The support on here was astounding and from what I read the support you have at home is at a similar level, your OH sounds like a superstar. This poster doesn't have that support you do so it really upsets me that you could be so cruel. She may have had 9 months to sort things out but how was she to know that her OH would be so unsupportive once the baby arrived? You cannot plan for everything in life and the OP is just trying to do best by her child and her horse by finding him a home with more time.
OP if you are reading this, keep your chin up, the right home is out there. We all know how frustrating timewasters are but in the end you will find your youngster a lovely home and I hope everything works out for you.
smokey
Well-Known Member
Oh okay. This is supposed to suggest to us that the OP is some sort of fraud, and everyone but you has been taken in?
Now you're really making a bit of a twit of yourself.
Oh, and you might want to get your question mark key fixed.
Well said! Although I think your confusing your i and a there!
HBM1
Well-Known Member
Quote:
Originally Posted by FionaM12
Oh okay. This is supposed to suggest to us that the OP is some sort of fraud, and everyone but you has been taken in?
Now you're really making a bit of a twit of yourself.
Oh, and you might want to get your question mark key fixed.
Well said! Although I think your confusing your i and a there!
Odd, as I read it with an "a" at first and not an "i"...need glasses or it got changed lol
Originally Posted by FionaM12
Oh okay. This is supposed to suggest to us that the OP is some sort of fraud, and everyone but you has been taken in?
Now you're really making a bit of a twit of yourself.
Oh, and you might want to get your question mark key fixed.
Well said! Although I think your confusing your i and a there!
Odd, as I read it with an "a" at first and not an "i"...need glasses or it got changed lol
FfionWinnie
Well-Known Member
The op could be a fraud. If the op is a fraud it matters not unless you send her all your bank account details.
However.
She has been a member for a long time If she is not a fraud then god forbid the nasty posts on this thread have chased her away for good and she now has no one.
I did actually pm her when the thread went mental early on and have not had a response.
However.
She has been a member for a long time If she is not a fraud then god forbid the nasty posts on this thread have chased her away for good and she now has no one.
I did actually pm her when the thread went mental early on and have not had a response.
flaxen
Well-Known Member
I never asked to be judged or slated!
This is the first horse I have ever had to sell and being a new experience its one I never want to repeat.
Gingerwitch or whar ever your name is, you arent the only one to have had a horse die. 8yrs ago my jumping pony died from colic 6mths post colic surgery, we had been together for 10 yrs ( she was 13 when she died ) she was my world and my best friend. She had colic surgery on the monday and very nearly died on the table, then had myopathy and had an awfull recovery but made it eventualyy to her feet. 2 days after her surgery while visiting her my vet came out to tell me my fathers work had been on the phone to say my father had had a stroke while driving a 44t lorry. It was touch and go but he did survive although now paralysed, my pony kept me going while everything was upside down. She came back into work tho continued to have mild bouts of colic ( this is common ) and we went jumping again although she had lost some of her stretch so went at a lower level. We had to sell our house as insurance would only pay out on death and being paralysed my dad was no longer able to work.
House was sold 6mths after colic surgery/ stroke and we had a moving out date, went competing on the sunday and despite a long wait we won our classes. My pony was colicing on the monday morning and despite all efforts she deteriorated and gave up her fight and was put quietly to sleep in her stable at 11pm 26/08/2004 with me at her side.
2 days after this we moved out of our house forever and I was homeless and had lost the only hope I had left. There isnt a day goes by where I dont miss her and wish she was with me. Her ashes are on my bedside table and I hahve left instructions that they are to be emptied into my coffin when I die.
Onto the current situation:-
when I put my mare infoal I wasnt with my husband, my horses were my life everything I did and planned revolved around them, the foal was my future competition horse and wasnt going to be bred to be sold.
I also didnt plan or want a human baby, they didnt fit in with what I wanted to do in my life which was competing my horses and setting up an equine ambulance service in the north.
The only sure fire way of not having children is not doing "it" and wouldnt have been an issue for me but apparantly its expected and refusing oh of his bsaic human rights and then you get slated by family for saying you dont want a baby and its expected that you have it.
I spent my pregnancy worrying about my horses ( my mare was put down due to severe bone spavin and becoming unresponsive to treatment and then dislocating her hock while stressing ) I was ill the whole way through and was constantly in and out of hospital, I was then booked in for a section due to my health and almost died due to the hospital cutting my femoral artery, hence a longer stay in hospital and a very large incision to sew the ends back together again. The only reason im alive is because I was already under a ga. My baby also had problems and despite me saying there was something wrong it took them 9 weeks to work out what it was, in those 9 weeks we were at a&e and docs every week and if I got an hours sleep in 24 I was lucky, I was also trying to look after my 2 horses and trying to muck out from the time I was home.
It is not suitable up here for my boy to live out, its a very heavy clay area and wet, he is completly pink skinned bar his markings and wouldnt cope, plus no grass livery in walking distance and we get over a foot of snow. He is also a very intelligent horse who needs something for his brain to think about else he will amuse himself including pulling rails off and throwing things about.
I never said I hadnt been able to sell him, he had only been advertised a few days, I was complaining about the idiots who were ringing because he stands out due to his colour and markings but with no intention of actually buying him.
I now think I may have found a home for him where he will be doing what his breed excells at, the person is happy to keep in contact and if im ever in the area I will be welcome to visit him.
If I could keep him I would but his is the best option I have. I never spend any money on myself, we dont qualify for tax creditd or child care cedits as hubby earns too much but then he spends it all on his car, he smokes and drinks, has a monthly mag subscription, shoots and has 2 guns, eats take aways 5+ days a week and buys stuff on ebay.
The reason I didnt reply yesterday was my dad has come up for a few days to see his granddaughter and to cheer me up and my husband is being worse than normal ( hes on holiday for 10 days ) spends 12 hrs in bed then ignores us, he went to the pub all afternoon today and stayed out on the farm yesterday, he ignores my dad on a morning and didnt even hold his daughter yesterday.
I dont go out and read this forum on a night when baby is asleep and ive tidied up. Ive never come across such nasty people ( not everyone, the nice ones know who they are ) I have read every page. I will be asking to have my account deleted as have been bullied enough in the past to last a life time and assuming you are adults then certain peoples behaviour is appauling. I have enough on my plate without nasty minded bullies adding to it. You should be ashamed of yourselves!
This is the first horse I have ever had to sell and being a new experience its one I never want to repeat.
Gingerwitch or whar ever your name is, you arent the only one to have had a horse die. 8yrs ago my jumping pony died from colic 6mths post colic surgery, we had been together for 10 yrs ( she was 13 when she died ) she was my world and my best friend. She had colic surgery on the monday and very nearly died on the table, then had myopathy and had an awfull recovery but made it eventualyy to her feet. 2 days after her surgery while visiting her my vet came out to tell me my fathers work had been on the phone to say my father had had a stroke while driving a 44t lorry. It was touch and go but he did survive although now paralysed, my pony kept me going while everything was upside down. She came back into work tho continued to have mild bouts of colic ( this is common ) and we went jumping again although she had lost some of her stretch so went at a lower level. We had to sell our house as insurance would only pay out on death and being paralysed my dad was no longer able to work.
House was sold 6mths after colic surgery/ stroke and we had a moving out date, went competing on the sunday and despite a long wait we won our classes. My pony was colicing on the monday morning and despite all efforts she deteriorated and gave up her fight and was put quietly to sleep in her stable at 11pm 26/08/2004 with me at her side.
2 days after this we moved out of our house forever and I was homeless and had lost the only hope I had left. There isnt a day goes by where I dont miss her and wish she was with me. Her ashes are on my bedside table and I hahve left instructions that they are to be emptied into my coffin when I die.
Onto the current situation:-
when I put my mare infoal I wasnt with my husband, my horses were my life everything I did and planned revolved around them, the foal was my future competition horse and wasnt going to be bred to be sold.
I also didnt plan or want a human baby, they didnt fit in with what I wanted to do in my life which was competing my horses and setting up an equine ambulance service in the north.
The only sure fire way of not having children is not doing "it" and wouldnt have been an issue for me but apparantly its expected and refusing oh of his bsaic human rights and then you get slated by family for saying you dont want a baby and its expected that you have it.
I spent my pregnancy worrying about my horses ( my mare was put down due to severe bone spavin and becoming unresponsive to treatment and then dislocating her hock while stressing ) I was ill the whole way through and was constantly in and out of hospital, I was then booked in for a section due to my health and almost died due to the hospital cutting my femoral artery, hence a longer stay in hospital and a very large incision to sew the ends back together again. The only reason im alive is because I was already under a ga. My baby also had problems and despite me saying there was something wrong it took them 9 weeks to work out what it was, in those 9 weeks we were at a&e and docs every week and if I got an hours sleep in 24 I was lucky, I was also trying to look after my 2 horses and trying to muck out from the time I was home.
It is not suitable up here for my boy to live out, its a very heavy clay area and wet, he is completly pink skinned bar his markings and wouldnt cope, plus no grass livery in walking distance and we get over a foot of snow. He is also a very intelligent horse who needs something for his brain to think about else he will amuse himself including pulling rails off and throwing things about.
I never said I hadnt been able to sell him, he had only been advertised a few days, I was complaining about the idiots who were ringing because he stands out due to his colour and markings but with no intention of actually buying him.
I now think I may have found a home for him where he will be doing what his breed excells at, the person is happy to keep in contact and if im ever in the area I will be welcome to visit him.
If I could keep him I would but his is the best option I have. I never spend any money on myself, we dont qualify for tax creditd or child care cedits as hubby earns too much but then he spends it all on his car, he smokes and drinks, has a monthly mag subscription, shoots and has 2 guns, eats take aways 5+ days a week and buys stuff on ebay.
The reason I didnt reply yesterday was my dad has come up for a few days to see his granddaughter and to cheer me up and my husband is being worse than normal ( hes on holiday for 10 days ) spends 12 hrs in bed then ignores us, he went to the pub all afternoon today and stayed out on the farm yesterday, he ignores my dad on a morning and didnt even hold his daughter yesterday.
I dont go out and read this forum on a night when baby is asleep and ive tidied up. Ive never come across such nasty people ( not everyone, the nice ones know who they are ) I have read every page. I will be asking to have my account deleted as have been bullied enough in the past to last a life time and assuming you are adults then certain peoples behaviour is appauling. I have enough on my plate without nasty minded bullies adding to it. You should be ashamed of yourselves!
joeanne
Well-Known Member
Flaxen please don't feel you are being judged.
FWIW I think the majority of posters on here have been wanting to support and help you. Do not let the minority spoil the majority.
FWIW I think the majority of posters on here have been wanting to support and help you. Do not let the minority spoil the majority.
DragonSlayer
Well-Known Member
Don't delete your account 
horsesatemymoney
Well-Known Member
Flaxen what a measured response considering some of the filth that's come your way and so sad you feel you need to leave if you stay feel free to pm me, if you ever want to vent. Aside from that I hope your situation improves and the sale works out xx
[59851]
...
This ^ I really hope things work out for you. If you can possibly find the strength to go it alone - please do. My friend got rid of her cheating, lazy, spendthrift, can't be bothered with his kids husband and has been soo much happier for it. It's been a tough time, but she has come through and hasn't looked back. XX
FfionWinnie
Well-Known Member
Flaxen I really hope you don't go.
FarriersFriend
Well-Known Member
Well said,I couldn't agree more.
StrawberryFields1
Well-Known Member
Flaxen - If anyone has come across badly on this thread it's GW not you.
No one has the right to judge, especially when they don't know the whole story, only a few posts you've put on an internet forum. It sounds like you've had a tough time of it and I'm sorry to hear it.
Re: Your original post I do think selling your horse is the right decision for both you and him and I hope you find someone soon. Have you considered loaning him just while you get back on your feet? Also, it sounds like you are unhappy in your marriage also is there anyone you can talk to IRL about that? You shouldn't have to put up with him on top of a new baby so please seek help.
No one has the right to judge, especially when they don't know the whole story, only a few posts you've put on an internet forum. It sounds like you've had a tough time of it and I'm sorry to hear it.
Re: Your original post I do think selling your horse is the right decision for both you and him and I hope you find someone soon. Have you considered loaning him just while you get back on your feet? Also, it sounds like you are unhappy in your marriage also is there anyone you can talk to IRL about that? You shouldn't have to put up with him on top of a new baby so please seek help.
FionaM12
Well-Known Member
I have no idea whether you are horrible and vile, I don't know you. However some of the things you've said here are, and yes, I hope they are pulled.
OP, I hope you can see that most people here are supportive, in fact the vast majority have taken the time to consider your situation and offer advice and support. I hope you stick around.
princessa81
Well-Known Member
flaxon please dont let some people put you off. there are loads of keyboard warriors out there who choose to hide behind a screen before they would dare say a fraction of what has been said on this forum and every other im sure. Regardless you do not need to justify yourself to people whom mean nothing to you. Chin up girly. There are those of us who are actually genuinely kind and caring on here and would and will lend an ear if you ever need. I know myself how i hate to see other women in turmoil. we have all endured some really crappy times and find strength from one another. you have been in my thoughts and i will say a wee please to the universe for you because i think you deserve a break.
all the best
Elizabeth
xxx
all the best
Elizabeth
xxx
Littlelegs
Well-Known Member
Op- reading your posts, selling your horse, or a difficult birth & unwell baby don't seem to be your problem. It's your husband imo. So until you sort your relationship problems, anything else is just wallpapering over the cracks.
charlie76
Well-Known Member
Don't delete your account because of the opinion of some one that really doesn't matter.
I am going to prob make myself unpopular but the award for the most pointless, over the top, loss of bull ***** of posts goes to ginger witch! I don't usually get annoyed by posts but yours take the biscuit.
you need to read back at what you have written and maybe you will realise what a prat you look.
honest to god, berating some one for selling their horse as they no longer can keep it... ridiculous.
if you check the back of the horse and hound there is about ten page of people selling their horses, better get ringing round them and demand that they keep them all! I am so gob smacked, words fail me.
I am going to prob make myself unpopular but the award for the most pointless, over the top, loss of bull ***** of posts goes to ginger witch! I don't usually get annoyed by posts but yours take the biscuit.
you need to read back at what you have written and maybe you will realise what a prat you look.
honest to god, berating some one for selling their horse as they no longer can keep it... ridiculous.
if you check the back of the horse and hound there is about ten page of people selling their horses, better get ringing round them and demand that they keep them all! I am so gob smacked, words fail me.
charlie76
Well-Known Member
Load of bull **** not loss!
lula
Well-Known Member
maybe we should lay off gingerwitch now
the point has been made umpteen times i dont think every single poster needs to have a go. Things are starting to read a bit ugly.
can we just leave it there please.
the point has been made umpteen times i dont think every single poster needs to have a go. Things are starting to read a bit ugly.
can we just leave it there please.
Twinkley Lights
Well-Known Member
Classy response Flaxen to a simply awful thread. Please know that 98% of posts are with you and the rest well... we should wish them well because life is tough and you need to give and receive support and they may be unhappy at the moment in their own lives and unable to support others. Looks good that you have a sale in the offing if not my field is waiting as stated PM me. Take care hunny chin up.
Burmilla
Well-Known Member
Hi Flaxen -sounds like perfect misery, the life you are living: do you really want to stay with OH? Your dad sounds brilliant and a brave man. More than can be said, by your report abt OH. If you do want to leave, with or without baby, or just need space, again with or without baby, this can be sorted. I was bullied into keeping a pregnancy that I was tricked into ( this was nearly 50 years ago, and I was a naive 19 year old with very low self esteem and no knowledge of the reason for this trickery or how to prevent it) it did not work out well for any of us, especially the baby. I left him with his father and paternal grandmother( who had spent the first four years of his life telling me what a useless mother I was, whilst offering no practical, emotional or financial support at all. . I sold my beloved Arab to a local friend, with whom he had a lovely home for life and left for a strange city where I made another life for myself. It has scarred my life, and that of my son. Both of us have very "successful" lives, he has four lovely children for whom he and his wife are excellent parents. But there is no authentic relationship between us and never has been since I left him and his father.
You may feel that, realisticaly, you do not have any choices. You do, but need to weigh up the costs and benefits of your actions. There is huge support out here for you, if you can decide what direction you want for your life and that of your child. Well done for getting this far, hope the poss. buyer for lovely 2 year old turns out to be the right one. Pm me if you need technical advice on sorting out specific information/professional support for you n daughter. Lots of love and hugs, meanwhile.
You may feel that, realisticaly, you do not have any choices. You do, but need to weigh up the costs and benefits of your actions. There is huge support out here for you, if you can decide what direction you want for your life and that of your child. Well done for getting this far, hope the poss. buyer for lovely 2 year old turns out to be the right one. Pm me if you need technical advice on sorting out specific information/professional support for you n daughter. Lots of love and hugs, meanwhile.
LittleWildOne
Well-Known Member
Flaxen, PLEASE stay hun .
I sincerely hope that my last post here didn't offend you. I don't post a lot on here because I have major confidence issues with people. I'll often read for hours on end, but can't pluck up the courage to post a reply.
Reading the responses though from Gingerwitch here made me so annoyed that I just couldn't NOT say anything. I posted my last reply to try to put across the fact that no matter how much someone loves their horse, sometimes the circumstances just don't allow some people to keep their horse for reasons outwith their control.
When GW lost her horse, I replied on her thread offering sympathy and support. I even offered her my own 3 year old pony as a companion, as a temporary loan to keep her other horse company until she decided whether to sell him or buy another of her own.
You have been through a very hard time recently, and I understand the difficulties you are experiencing with your OH, but please don't let a few negative people on HHO take this away from you too.
You know what, If I lived near you....I'd be the first person to come to your door and offer you whatever help I could.
Please stay. (((((HUGS)))))
Suzanne. xxx
.I sincerely hope that my last post here didn't offend you. I don't post a lot on here because I have major confidence issues with people. I'll often read for hours on end, but can't pluck up the courage to post a reply.
Reading the responses though from Gingerwitch here made me so annoyed that I just couldn't NOT say anything. I posted my last reply to try to put across the fact that no matter how much someone loves their horse, sometimes the circumstances just don't allow some people to keep their horse for reasons outwith their control.
When GW lost her horse, I replied on her thread offering sympathy and support. I even offered her my own 3 year old pony as a companion, as a temporary loan to keep her other horse company until she decided whether to sell him or buy another of her own.
You have been through a very hard time recently, and I understand the difficulties you are experiencing with your OH, but please don't let a few negative people on HHO take this away from you too.
You know what, If I lived near you....I'd be the first person to come to your door and offer you whatever help I could.
Please stay. (((((HUGS)))))
Suzanne. xxx
Emilieu
Well-Known Member
Flaxen I was so pleased to see that you had responded - especially if there has been good news re a home for your boy. I originally just came on to sympathise as my friend has just gone thru similar trying to sell a youngster but obviously the thread has derailed somewhat since then.
If you find comfort / entertainment from the forum then please don't leave. I believe there is a user ignore function that you could employ instead.
Big hugs and I hope it all gets easier soon xxx
If you find comfort / entertainment from the forum then please don't leave. I believe there is a user ignore function that you could employ instead.
Big hugs and I hope it all gets easier soon xxx
smokey
Well-Known Member
Flaxen, there are more good people here than bad, don't delete your account. I think you need to sort out your life, and the first thing you need to consider is your relationship with your OH. it doesn't matter if you sell your horse or not, you will not be happy whilst living like this.
Please, for your child and yourself, think hard about what you do. I feel so bad for you, if you were my daughter I would be in my car now, coming to take you and the wee one home.
Can you perhaps talk to your health visitor or GP about the situation? You need to get some support in real life, and get on track for a better future. And remember, there are people here who understand, and don't judge. Be strong, and know that it can be better xx
Please, for your child and yourself, think hard about what you do. I feel so bad for you, if you were my daughter I would be in my car now, coming to take you and the wee one home.
Can you perhaps talk to your health visitor or GP about the situation? You need to get some support in real life, and get on track for a better future. And remember, there are people here who understand, and don't judge. Be strong, and know that it can be better xx
misst
Well-Known Member
Flaxen if you are still here I am very very sorry for how you have been spoken to on this thread. I cannot believe how horrible it has become. I had no idea about you or your circumstances and in a way they are irrelevent. I have only just seen this threat and in parts it is very vicious - awful for you.
Lots of people on here have had stuff not work out the way they hoped. Lots of people have lost horses they loved very very much - myself included. I am so sorry for your situation and your pain. I am sure if you had had a crystal ball things might have been different.
Some of the people on here have been unpleasant and cruel and I would like to think they are bitter and angry due to their own losses. Others - I am unsure of their motives.
I hope you have a good resolution to your troubles and wish you well. It must be very hard to part with a youngster you had hopes and dreams for. x
Lots of people on here have had stuff not work out the way they hoped. Lots of people have lost horses they loved very very much - myself included. I am so sorry for your situation and your pain. I am sure if you had had a crystal ball things might have been different.
Some of the people on here have been unpleasant and cruel and I would like to think they are bitter and angry due to their own losses. Others - I am unsure of their motives.
I hope you have a good resolution to your troubles and wish you well. It must be very hard to part with a youngster you had hopes and dreams for. x
devonlass
Well-Known Member
She has 're-shown' (is that even a word??),and been far more gracious to you than you deserve.
You're a bit of a silly trout aren't you?? Can't quite decide if you're unhinged in the mind or just a spiteful bint.Either way you should really learn when to shut up.
Flaxen-you have loads of support on here,don't let the very few or one even spoil that for you.Thinking of you and sure there are lot's of virtual shoulders here if you need them.
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Trinity Fox
Well-Known Member
Flaxen I have just come in at this time after a horsey disaster, do not even listen to any of the rubbish other people on here have said.
I have had some really hideous things happen to me beyond normal, however that is life, having a baby is very hard if you have no support even harder, we cannot judge how people cope by what has happened to us.
You can only do your best , and do not be judged by anyone, pay attention to the people on here who tried to help you.
I actually buy in a few youngsters to sell on, to say you cannot care for a horse you sell is rubbish, you bred yours so am sure are even more fond of him.
I buy in mine at two or three I care for them and bring them on I can honestly say I hate selling them, have turned down buyers and have had sleepless nights over it.
I have backed them and brought them on step by step, I can say they have all gone on to better homes than where they came.
If I won the lottery I would keep them all, I am not a bad person have kept all the horrors or real bad uns, am I a bad person.
I think GW has lost something dear to them I may be wrong, as for the op having a baby is hard if you are isolated even harder.
If you have to sell there is someone who can give your horse a good home.
I have had some really hideous things happen to me beyond normal, however that is life, having a baby is very hard if you have no support even harder, we cannot judge how people cope by what has happened to us.
You can only do your best , and do not be judged by anyone, pay attention to the people on here who tried to help you.
I actually buy in a few youngsters to sell on, to say you cannot care for a horse you sell is rubbish, you bred yours so am sure are even more fond of him.
I buy in mine at two or three I care for them and bring them on I can honestly say I hate selling them, have turned down buyers and have had sleepless nights over it.
I have backed them and brought them on step by step, I can say they have all gone on to better homes than where they came.
If I won the lottery I would keep them all, I am not a bad person have kept all the horrors or real bad uns, am I a bad person.
I think GW has lost something dear to them I may be wrong, as for the op having a baby is hard if you are isolated even harder.
If you have to sell there is someone who can give your horse a good home.