Would it be horrendous as a horse owner to.....

be positive

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Having 2 instead of 4 will make a huge difference, one trip to turn out and bring in instead of two, having 1 or 2 fewer eating the grass will mean they can stay out more, do less damage and require less hay, I find two easy to deal with, the third makes almost double the work that going from 1 to 2 just doesn't because you can do so much with them together so it isn't doubling up everything, that said I am used to doing up to 12 liveries so 3 or 4 is a break but I do find having 2 in a field is easy, put in a 3rd then I really notice the difference.
 

ozpoz

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One less horse to do is a massive change when you work full time.it isn't just the time it takes to do them, it is the time it takes to think about them, in my experience. I personally would keep the little shetland for your own little one, and because it is easier to have 3 if you are out competing. Your have given your 28 year old a retirement that very few horses get to have, and to let her go peacefully at that age is irreproachable, in my opinion.
 

Slightlyconfused

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It saddens me to see judgemental comments about choosing to PTS an old horse before it's quality of life starts to deteriorate. Far better that, than to wait til the animal is suffering. A long retirement is fine, if that's what you want to do with your own horse. It's not fine if you use "You owe it to your horse/your horse deserves..." as a stick to beat other people with.

No-one "owes" it to their horse to keep them alive for as long as possible, and no horse "deserves" a long retirement. All a horse is owed/deserves is to be treated well all it's life, and to be dispatched quickly, without pain or fear, at the end of it's life, whenever that may be.

Pretty much this.
I would much rather see a happy healthy older horse pts than one that is struggling
 

MotherOfChickens

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Friends have said differently that is all, especially when the horse is unridden as did someone else on this thread.

I went from 3 down to two a couple of years ago-and he was unridden. it's a lot less poop, a lot less time spent-just bringing in, doing feet etc makes a difference.

I'm with Auslander on this OP.
 

Clodagh

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I too would not criticise someone for PTS an elderly horse who has had a good life. But, have you seen your doctor? With a schedule like yours are you eating properly or you could be anaemic. I would suggest that as your first action.

Buy a really good vit/min, I use a good iron and Vit B supp and it has made the world of difference. As a young woman, you should not be exhausted, please do try some supplementation. Bizarre that if you had a run down horse you would do something but not for yourself?
That aside, I think I would give the oldie the summer out 24/7 if she is happy, then PTS come the autumn. You have to be 100% happy with that though, in your head. (I would be).
 

Ruby's Mum

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I think you need to decide what your priorities are, you ride daily and compete most weekends, work full time have a small child etc. Your daily routine needs re-jigging as something needs to give. I think you sound as though you are run down yourself and at 32yrs old who is getting plenty of exercise you shouldn't be so exhausted. get yourself booked into doctors and get some blood tests done, don't just throw supplements into yourself I without identifying what is potentially wrong. Taking iron supplements if you don't have deficiency can give you all sorts of additional issues, in particular liver problems (I'm speaking from personal experience!).

Get yourself checked out, decide if you need to ride daily and if you need to compete every weekend. When you are feeling better I am sure you will be in a better frame of mind to make decisions.
 

Pearlsasinger

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I think you need to decide what your priorities are, you ride daily and compete most weekends, work full time have a small child etc. Your daily routine needs re-jigging as something needs to give. I think you sound as though you are run down yourself and at 32yrs old who is getting plenty of exercise you shouldn't be so exhausted. get yourself booked into doctors and get some blood tests done, don't just throw supplements into yourself I without identifying what is potentially wrong. Taking iron supplements if you don't have deficiency can give you all sorts of additional issues, in particular liver problems (I'm speaking from personal experience!).

Get yourself checked out, decide if you need to ride daily and if you need to compete every weekend. When you are feeling better I am sure you will be in a better frame of mind to make decisions.

This.

I don't think it would be wrong to pts the retired 29yr old but I'm not sure it would solve your problem. I think you need to make changes all round, especially if you want to have another child. I would certainly leave them all out 24/7 in summer. I wouldn't want to lose the Shetland, your eldest child will be ready to ride soon. I would be wary of just having two kept together, as well, in case they develop separation anxiety.
 

SEL

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Please go and see your GP. I felt like I was wasting their time last year with my 'I've lost weight, feeling exhausted' issue & it turned out I was actually quite ill. At least get it ruled out.
 

Ambers Echo

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I don't think PTS is the wrong decision but I do think you may have other options as well or instead. We all have beliefs/ideas about things but life changes, priorities change and sometimes views need to change. Eg never selling on/loaning (not the oldie obviously!) being very particular about letting others ride/help, stabling all 4 all year round, competing every weekend. Those are not right/wrong issues but preference issues. Any maybe some of those choices no longer fit so well with the rest of your life. Good luck with whatever you decide. Your current lifestyle sounds exhausting.
 

Cecile

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I agree, killing a living creature for your convenience is wrong.

Trouble with that for me, is my sofa's are leather, I wear sheep skin slippers and I have just enjoyed steak and chips for supper,
I don't mean to be flippant or rude but I also killed about 6 wasps in my tack room today as they were inconveniencing me

As I age I am also thinking hanging or lethal injection of low life murderers, child abusers or some criminals who can never rejoin society safely is not such a bad idea

I don't believe the OP is exactly rushing out to kill anything but just trying to find a way to get her life on an even keel, its a bit like that motto/saying from BT "Sometimes it good to talk"
 

Nudibranch

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It's not selfish to pts a 28 yo while they're still comfortable, rather than waiting until they're not. However - I do think you should seriously consider making more changes than that, for your own health. I'm permanently tired with one baby, two horses and a 3 day working week so I have absolutely no idea how you do it!
In your shoes I'd keep them out 24/7, in summer at least even if not winter. Find a sharer for at least one, if not both ridden horses. I'd also give up competing for the next few years - but I only say that because I feel guilty just for having an hour's hack and do spend a lot of time with baby NB. The way I see it, he'll be little for such a short time and I don't want to miss anything. Much as I love my horses, they just don't compare. So they're happy living out, at home, not doing a huge amount until baby starts school.

And make sure you drink plenty of fluids, eat a balanced diet and take a vitamin and mineral supplement!
 

abb123

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I think it's using a sledge hammer to crack a nut.

There are plenty of other options before having your older horse PTS. There is nothing cruel with having a horse PTS, a kind death at a ripe old age is a good thing. But I don't think you are at that point yet.

I would turn all out 24/7. It wont save you much money and overall not much time but it does mean that you can organise your time more easily. For example, poo picking and field boundary checking can all be done at the weekend. This means that you only need to do a a half hour check twice a day in the week. I'd put a big round hay feeder in the field so you don't have to worry about giving hay in the field.

I'd find a sharer for your happy hacker and I wouldn't ride that horse any more myself. It doesn't need to be ridden. I would also consider cutting the amount of competing down. It takes a lot of time and energy to compete and it takes up a whole day of your weekend that you could be using to rest and recover from your working week.





I would also try
 

Antw23uk

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Sadly the issue isnt the horses. You have followed most other people and thought it a good idea to breed. Having a child has ruined your life but its not your fault, you have been brainwashed and conditioned to believe thats the thing to do! (I mean its not like the human race is an endangered species and needs you to breed is it!)

Anyway I digress slightly..... You've had some great advise already OP and if it were me I would turn them all out for the summer to reduce just how much work you are doing and then I would look for a sharer and then at the end of summer I would see how I felt and then probably call it time on the mare and re home the shetland if you genuinely don't need a companion! And if your horses are fine left alone for a few hours or a day then you dont need a companion!

Good luck and please think again about reproducing again. I mean do you really need another child? will the world benefit from another one? ... Just a thought ;)
 

D66

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With two small children even looking after one horse will be challenging without extra help. If It were me, I'd be looking to reduce to one rideable horse and keep the pony as a companion and for the children to ride, if suitable.
 

Theocat

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I am with Auslander on this, but with another baby to follow I think you need to make much bigger changes. Put down the oldie as and when you're ready, loan or sell the Shetland (unless there are no other horses around, in which case you need it for company) get a sharer for your older ridden horse so they can cover chores a few mornings or evenings a week, and get them living out as much as you can. It's not just the work, it is the relentless grind of never getting a break from two visits a day, plus the baby, plus work. No one can live like that long term.
 

Damnation

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I am with Auslander on this, but with another baby to follow I think you need to make much bigger changes. Put down the oldie as and when you're ready, loan or sell the Shetland (unless there are no other horses around, in which case you need it for company) get a sharer for your older ridden horse so they can cover chores a few mornings or evenings a week, and get them living out as much as you can. It's not just the work, it is the relentless grind of never getting a break from two visits a day, plus the baby, plus work. No one can live like that long term.

^^^

For the people who say it is wrong, think on this, OP is struggling (as many of us would in that position because omg that all sounds EXHAUSTING!) and instead of putting her 28year old up on facebook as "Free to a good home" or whatever, she is choosing to secure her future and ensure she isn't passed from pillar to post in her old age which I actually think is incredibly responsible.
 

Flyermc

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If i was in this situation, i think id sell the BS horse, while its in full work and is a good age bracket and re-home the mini. Id keep the happy hacker/show horse and the old mare. This way i have a ridden horse, but without the pressure of having to keep a fit competitive one going.

I have 2 kids (3 year old and 9 months) and from my experience, spending time with my kids is really precious. They grow-up so fast and if your 18 month old, goes to nursery, you'll start to get loads and loads of birthday party invites, that tend to be at weekends (comp days) and with a baby number 2 wanted, your going to burn yourself out, trying to do everything. You can always buy another comp horse when life is less crazy.

I too had 2 horses with baby number 1 and found it really hard to 'let go' and accept help, because things were not always done, as i wanted. I had to keep reminding myself that my horses didnt care if there stable beds were not completely flat and square! but strangely it did bother me. Both my horses where old men and we lost one when my little girl was 18 months (due to liver failure) and lost the other last year, due to a field injury. Dispute my amazing vet trying everything to fix them, we couldnt and i had to let them go. I couldnt have had them PTS because they were older, to make life easier for me, it was extremely difficult to do it, when they were ill.

I really, really miss my horses, but life (for me) with horses on DIY, kids, and a full time job meant that i did nothing more than 'chase my tail' trying to do everything and yet everything was compromised and i would constantly feel guilty.

I will get another horse, but just not right now.

I really hope you manage to find a good solution.
 

Archangel

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I don't think you can really have it all unless you are superwoman and even superwoman needs a rest sometimes!

Possible horse solution...
Keep BS horse, ride only 4 times a week, compete every other weekend.
Keep old horse as friend for BS horse
Get sharer/loan for happy hacking horse
Rehome Shetland pet

Money permitting get some help! Someone to turnout/muck out even 3 times a week so you can have a breather.

Aside from the horses I don't see you getting that much time with your child or your husband.

I have gone (slowly down) from 5 horses to just 1 horse. It is odd but I actually like just having 1 horse.

Also - get some Metatone and general vitamin supplement in case you are run down.

Buy sun lounger - lie on it and read book occasionally!
 
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southerncomfort

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I don't think it would be a horrendous thing to do, no.

I personally couldn't do it and I'd definitely be looking at other options first but wouldn't judge you for your decision.

I think some of the ideas above could save you an awful lot of time i.e. sharer for the happy hacker, turning them all out 24/7. Also, do you really need a Shetland? I'm guessing you originally bought him/her as a companion but perhaps his/her role isn't essential now?

Could you put the happy hacker out on full loan? Could you drop down to competing every other weekend?

Also, as above do go and get yourself checked out. I currently have Shingles for the second time due to being worn out and run down and I don't recommend it!

Be kind to yourself and try and realise that doing a bit less for your horses isn't neglecting them, they'll be just as happy and you will be far less exhausted.
 

HeyMich

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from my experience, spending time with my kids is really precious. They grow-up so fast

This.

Your kids are only babies for a very short time. They need you to be present and healthy and engage with their early years development! I am worried that you are planning to have another child, and you are not 100% healthy. How will no 2 affect your health? What happens if you have a tough pregnancy? As child no 1 grows up, they will be needing more and more of your attention, and then juggling this with a new baby if you are already pulled from pillar to post sounds like a recipe for disaster.

I have 2 kids and work 4 days a week. My horse is on full livery on the days that I work, purely because there is no way that I could do the horse as well as getting kids ready for school, childminder drop off, work, pick up, swimming/guitar/dancing/cubs/brownies/gymnastics activities, plus all the additional stuff you end up doing as a mum of young kids - play dates, parties, playing at the park, helping them learn to ride a bike etc... which are all really important. Plus I need time to unwind, cook dinner, sort the house, enjoy my social life and do things I need.

Horses will be absolutely fine out 24/7. They will also be fine not ridden every day, and not competed every weekend. They will be fine out on loan for a few years, and they will be fine with a sharer. If you feel that your old mare is ready to be pts, then that is fine too.

Your health and the welfare of your young family are priority I'm afraid.
 

Sukistokes2

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I feel you have to cut back somewhere before you make yourself really ill OP, where would all your horses and your baby be then?

How you chose to cut back is up to you, morally I feel your mare owes you nothing.

Just a suggestion could you squeeze in a livery who pays with chores, so that you only have to go once a day.

I would sell the shetland too, or at least loan it out.

Whatever you do I hope you feel better soon.
 

BethanT

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Reading some of these replies who say that there are other options than PTS such as retirement livery, I would be interested to know where OP would get the money from to fund retirement livery? At present OP has her horses at home, so no real cost that way. Plus retirement livery can be just as expensive as full livery in some areas.

I agree with the vast majority in that it is better a day too soon than a day too late. If she was to part ways with the oldie, who lets be honest has been given far more care and attention that some others in her twilight years, and then rehome the shetland or the happy hacker, she then may have some spare cash to pay someone to muck out and care for the other two to give her some days off which would make a huge difference.

If you have to save your grazing OP, can you have them in during the day? Do you use a bedding that you can just skip out like wood pellets of miscanthus? This would save masses of time, and is what I do. Muck out time for two went from 1 hour to 20 mins. I make up all my haynets for the week on a weekend, use two water buckets in the stable meaning I only need to do water every other day.

I have sympathies for you OP, I feel shattered everyday too and I don't even have a baby! Just work long hours and have two horses in full work!
 

Ambers Echo

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Not to be too alarmist but I actually found combining horses with babies/toddlers pretty easy. They were portable and did not have a vote on what we did. Or a social life of their own.

It was MUCH harder when they went to school - they were suddenly invited to birthday parties EVERY weekend (32 kids in a class - most of whom did the 'whole-class-gets-invited' thing) and they developed independent interests: Rainbows, Gymnastics, Dance. Was I going to stop them doing those things for my own hobby? No. Definitely not. Realistically it is only going to get harder for you I think.
 

webble

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If it was me I would do it. I would also work slightly less (if financially viable? you will have one less mouth to feed?) have everything out 24/7 over summer to give you a break and maybe look for a part loaner or full loaner to stay on current yard for the happy hack
 

MissGee

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Oh goodness, having one less (or one more, conversely) is a HUGE difference and would lighten the load considerably.


Totally agree, I've just gone from 5 down to 4 and can't believe the massive difference it's made and the weight that's been lifted!!
 

ester

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I'm certainly not fussed about people having oldies PTS rather than being passed on (as with plenty of other horses, including the poor mare that ended up back at Ricky George's two days ago after having been given away).

However, the owner does have to be happy with that decision and the OP obviously isn't sure or she wouldn't have posted. I suspect whether you are/what your threshold is is probably different for everyone. I genuinely don't think I could do it without thinking it was the only thing I could do in the situation I was in which of course might happen. I wouldn't have my oldie struggling either, but I don't think he needs to rush off just in case.

I guess what I am saying though is that I can consider that I wouldn't be happy doing it myself but I wouldn't judge anyone else for doing it.
 

meleeka

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I think I’d have to find ways to make things easier before I would consider pts. The retired horse is presumably the quickest to do and the one that costs less? I think if it were me I’d keep your main riding horse and the retired one and maybe cut down on competitions for a while. It may sound harsh but yes I think it sounds selfish. I fiercely protected my time with my horses when my kids were small but a compromise had to be made. It doesn’t sound like you have much time for your child either?

Can your horses live out? Can you do two competitions a month rather than 4? My two ponies had very little attention during the first year after I had kids and they were perfectly fine. They lived out and were ridden when I was able.
 

DD

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can you put all out to grass 24/7 even if means moving them to another yard? PTS the oldie in the autumn. rehome 2 of the remaining 3. any of them. keep 1 even if its just the Shetland as a pet.
 
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