Would you be upset ?

[jehsb]

So yesterday i had the misfortune of breaking down on the way to a team competition. I messaged/emailed and tried the call the team manager straight away to let them know i wouldn't be able to attend. They didn't see my messages until much later in the day and well after my allocated times to be competing, but it made me think, am i right to be a bit miffed that no one even bothered to contact me to see if we were ok, they just presumed I hadn't bothered turning up ?

 

[paddi22]

why would you expect a show official to follow up to see if you were ok? I help organise events and you get tons of last minute cancellations due to lameness, losing shoes, horses not loading, flat batteries, illness, family bereavement etc. there is absolutely no way you can ring them all on the day to see if they are ok. You are so busy on the day following up on queries, filling in roles etc that there isn't the time, and to be honest I wouldn't see the point of doing it. a lot of running events on the day is prioritising urgent tasks. sorry to be harsh but ringing someone to hear about their truck breaking down or their horse not loading isn't a priority.

On a wider note it would be great if some sections of competitors had a greater empathy for the effort and work it takes to run any event. I can absolutely guarantee if you had ever volunteered on a committee to run an event, you would never have posted your query

 

[Antw23uk]

Yeah I'd be a bit miffed but knowing how busy and hectic the days can be I can also understand why you didnt get a welfare call.

Maybe something you can implement for the club?

 

[Muddywellies]

No I wouldn't be upset that they didn't contact me. They have their own stuff to worry about.
I'd be far more upset/worried that i had let them down, even if it was totally out of my control.

 

[milliepops]

I didn't take OP to mean the show organiser should have called. but if you are in a team and one of your team doesn't show, yes i would expect someone to call to at least find out if you were on your way but just delayed, or bailing on the whole thing.

 

[milliepops]

i don't think i'd be miffed per se, but surprised, presumably in a team you either need all the scores or have one drop score etc, bit odd to apparently not notice someone was missing

 

[sport horse]

Might affect a decision to ride for that group in the future - rather unfriendly

 

[jehsb]

I do appreciate the work that goes into running competitions, it was not the show officials i was upset about not hearing from, rather my fellow club/team members just thinking i hadn't turned up.

 

[MuddyMonster]

I took it to mean the team manager & team mates too rather than a show organiser.

I suppose if they saw your messages - I can read without them being marked as read - they know you were OK and the situation.

I do think a quick call would have been nice though.

 

[Muddywellies]

I do appreciate the work that goes into running competitions, it was not the show officials i was upset about not hearing from, rather my fellow club/team members just thinking i hadn't turned up.

To turn this around, although it was totally not your fault, do you feel guilty for not showing up and have you apologised profusely?

 

[jehsb]

To turn this around, although it was totally not your fault, do you feel guilty for not showing up and have you apologised profusely?

Of course I do and have, i was absolutely gutted to not have been able to go.

 

[paddi22]

apologies I totally misunderstood you post. yes its odd your team members wouldn't check?

 

[Widgeon]

I do think a quick call would have been nice though.

Agreed, I probably would be slightly hurt not to even get a message back - presumably these are people you're on good terms with. I'd let it go though, I'm not sure it's worth making a big (or even small) deal out of it. Presumably they were all busy. They might have meant to reply but never got round to it. They surely must have at least read your message, otherwise it's very strange that they'd be one member down and not try to find out why.

 

[Muddywellies]

Of course I do and have, i was absolutely gutted to not have been able to go.

Well then I wouldn't worry. As mentioned above I'm sure they saw your messages. These things do happen but they would have just been too busy to respond OR each of them thought the other had replied to you. No harm done either way.

 

[Sussexbythesea]

There’s not much of a team ethos being shown so yes I’d be disappointed. If I were team manager I’d be checking where you were and at least checking my messages. Are they overrun with people volunteering to be on teams?

 

[Birker2020]

I didn't take OP to mean the show organiser should have called. but if you are in a team and one of your team doesn't show, yes i would expect someone to call to at least find out if you were on your way but just delayed, or bailing on the whole thing.

Edited, already mentioned.

 

[jehsb]

Thank you all for your replies. I know I am probably being a bit over sensitive about it but it turned out to be a horrible day and I was mostly upset that people would have thought I just hadn't turned up.

 

[ihatework]

I’d be disappointed and think it a bit weird not to get a response, not much team commeraderie

 

[HappyHollyDays]

I am disappointed on your behalf. You were polite enough to let them know there was a problem and it would have taken a second for the team manager to respond.

 

[Birker2020]

Thank you all for your replies. I know I am probably being a bit over sensitive about it but it turned out to be a horrible day and I was mostly upset that people would have thought I just hadn't turned up.

You have every right to be upset. I would have thought someone could have given you the dignity of a text to ask if you were okay, or even a "have you forgotten?" would have been better than nothing at all. They don't have much 'team spirit', if I were you I'd not bother with them again.

 

[Upthecreek]

I guess it depends a bit on how well you know the other team members and what your relationship with them is like. Not a team I’d want to be part of going forward by the sounds of it though.

 

[ycbm]

I would be very disappointed in that, and it's not a team I would want to compete with in future. It's really seriously odd to have a team of, what, 4, and nobody contact one who is missing. Did they all assume someone else had done it, I wonder?
.

 

[Birker2020]

I would be very disappointed in that, and it's not a team I would want to compete with in future. It's really seriously odd to have a team of, what, 4, and nobody contact one who is missing. Did they all assume someone else had done it, I wonder?
.

Sounds like they're a bunch of ill-mannered, self-centred, selfish people to me. Thesaurus taking a bashing this morning

 

[SEL]

I would be very disappointed in that, and it's not a team I would want to compete with in future. It's really seriously odd to have a team of, what, 4, and nobody contact one who is missing. Did they all assume someone else had done it, I wonder?
.

Surely you'd have said amongst yourselves - has anyone heard from jehsb? And then maybe one person would check their phone. Weird!!

Plus if I was on a team I'd be annoyed enough to call you if I thought you'd just done a no-show!

 

[Leandy]

Yes I would have been upset that no-one had cared enough to try to contact me to check I was alright and especially annoyed if they thought I was flaky enough just not to show up! Certainly in our pony club in that situation the team organiser would have been contacting you to check what was going on, and would have sent help if you needed it if they could. So how did the conversation go when you did make contact? Perhaps they had all been there a bit miffed that you hadn't bothered to let them know you wouldn't be there. They weren't to know you were trying to contact them if the messages hadn't got through. Overall though, I'd expect the team manager to be trying to contact you yes. That sort of thing is what a team manager is for!

 

[irishdraft]

If you had been on my team & I had your number/ WhatsApp etc I definitely would have called or messaged to see where you were, you could have had an accident or anything . Seems rather strange no-one bothered.

 

[jehsb]

Thank you all for your replies. Glad to hear I am not being over sensitive. My main reason for joining teams is to get to know new people and feel involved or part of something

 

[tiahatti]

I'm very surprised one of the other team members didn't try and phone or message you. I would have found that hurtful too. I don't think you are being oversensitive at all.

 

[Annagain]

I do a lot of organising for my club but can't always get to competitions to support / organise the teams on the day. Sometimes a new member joins a team and doesn't know anyone else yet. If that's the case, I make sure they all have each other's competitor numbers and phone numbers (if they consent) so they can arrange to meet up and create a bit of a team bond and I ask a more experienced member to 'look after' the new one. Even if they didn't have your number and I wasn't there I'd be very disappointed if they didn't contact me (or another one of the committee) to let me know you hadn't turned up. As soon as I knew, I'd phone to check if you were ok.

 

[Sprogladite01]

They may have seen your message - if I get messages on whatsapp/facebook messenger etc you can pull the notification at the top of my phone screen down to read the first few lines of it without it showing as 'read' on the actual app. I tend to do this when I'm in a rush and need to get the gist quickly - which I'd imagine your team mates would have needed to? I'd be miffed about not getting an eventual response to make sure I was ok/sorted though!