Would you PTS in this situation?

i would say step back a bit and think of him only. if you won the lottery tonight what would you do no amount of money would give him a good quality of life this winter, so i would PTS well before the bad weather comes and i think you had almost decided to do that anyway. the struggling to get up would have signalled the end for me last winter .... you need to think of the decision and only relate it to his quality of life and as a side effect it will ease your finances...sorry about your break up, its never easy ....hope you can now make your decision and not feel guilty.....
 
I'm in complete admiration for how practical you are. Despite the shock and grief for a marriage that wasn't what you thought it was, you've managed to organise your life within such a short time. Bloody well done.
Regarding your retired horse, I'm going to go against popular opinion here and say, hold on and take a breath, don't rush into a decision now. You've done so much, made so many changes and adapted your life completely since your husband left.
If you were to PTS, I think you'd be entirely justified, but this horse is special to you. If you euthanize because of your husband, you could possibly feel very resentful in the future. If you euthanize because your oldie will struggle through another winter, then, that's a hard decision, but a fair one. Ultimately though, finances often dictate our choices.
 
BlueSkye said:
Too emotional for a better reply at the moment just wanting to thank everyone from the bottom of my heart for the kindness, compassion and wisdom you have all shared with me. I am going to print this thread off and sit down with a friend and talk it all through.

Thank you
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A wise decision. Go easy on yourself. X
 
BlueSkye said:
Looking for clear advice as my head is in a total muddle and I can’t see the wood for the trees.

My husband left a few months ago (I thought it was a happy marriage so I have been in shock and grieving the relationship). He was the far higher earner, although I work full time with a decent-ish income. Luckily we had no children.

I am now trying to cover the mortgage and bills by myself (the deposit was from my savings so we have agreed that I will keep the house, we have only had it for a few months). We were first time buyers and it would cost a lot of money to sell, I couldn’t afford to buy on my own and renting would cost what the mortgage costs so selling up isn’t a viable option right now. And frankly my home is the only thing I have left.

Anyway, my husband had bought me a new horse and a horsebox, both of which have now been sold.

My old boy is 23 years old, retired due to arthritis for 3 years and (mostly) happily living out with a few others. They are a stable, happy herd of mostly old/retired horses. The grass livery is cheap, however it is a 20 mile round trip (25 mins each way) so petrol costs add up.

Old boy is on 1 bute a day - last winter was horrible and he couldn’t get up a few times, each time he was box rested for a couple of weeks. He really struggles now in the cold/wet and can be uncomfortable some days regardless of weather. Mostly comfortable enough.

In the summer he has a horrible combination of feather mites and mallenders/sallenders. Despite regular treatment he will have new sores on his legs every few days. He has always been prone to them but this year they seem to be resistant to treatment.

These are things that are manageable with time, energy, money and motivation. I have very little of all. I simply cannot afford emergency vet bills or cost of box resting if he needs it again. I am completely dreading the winter.

I have had him since he was six years old. It might not sound like it but he is my best friend, my soul mate, my horse of a lifetime. I owe him everything. Before the separation/money issues I would never have dreamed of even considering PTS at this point.

I have reduced outgoings in all other ways - I have a lodger, have given up Sky TV/netflix etc, switched all energy suppliers, swapped the 4x4 for a small Fiat, sold everything that can be sold on Ebay etc etc. I have a strict budget which I can just about manage, with nothing at all left over for savings/emergencies/luxuries.

Please no bashing, things are hard enough.
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I feel for you, and know that you love him, but think about the quality of life. Sometimes we can be selfish (with good reason), but please think of him too.
 
He'd have gone after the first time he couldn't get up if he were mine. Knowing how sore mites/mallendars/sallendars can make their legs I'd have no qualms about letting him go now.
 
I am so sorry you are being put through a terrible time. Yes, I would put to sleep before the weather gets harder. It is a massively hard decision but if you think he is uncomfortable then it is time to think about quality of life for him. You will be doing him a great service by not letting things drag on heartbreaking though it is. You will always have the memories of the good times, no one can take those away.
 
In your situation, if he was happy and comfortable I would continue - but the first day he looks uncomfortable living out, or is unable to get up I would have the vet or chosen person out that day and pts.
 
Yes you are prolonging his life by keeping him going, but is it a happy existence? From what you have said the answer is no. It’s always a horrendous decision to put to sleep, but surely the right one under these circumstances. Regardless of your financial situation it would be cruel to put him through another winter. I really feel for you, you’ve been through such a shitty time and it’s sad you now have to deal with this as well xx
 
I thought this was going to be a tricky “old and retired but generally well in himself” decision. But as soon as you said he had struggled to get up a few times last winter I felt PTS would be a sensible and kind decision. It’s unlikely this winter will be better for him than last winter so I think for his sake and for yours PTS would be sensible. It will be hard for you, and I’m sorry.
 
We had an old T\B ex racer 30 years old we had owned for 22 years retired and living at home .He had similar problems and had trouble getting up several times in the winter of 2017\18 .We decided to give him the summer pts before the next winter.HOWEVER in May 2018 he had a tumble in the field couldn't get up despite best efforts of our neighbouring farmers I was away a nd a friend was looking after the horses.I made it back i time to say goodbye as fortunately I was in the UK
I now wonder If I should have made the decision earlier before all the stress for my friend managing to rush back what if I had been abroad !
I would have had him pts on finding him down she felt all efforts should be made which wasn't wrong as it gave me time to be with him but it would have probably been less stressful all round to have made the decision and had him pts without all the drama.
 
Peregrine Falcon said:
Money issues aside he sounds like life has caught up with him. I wouldn't him through another winter if he was having problems getting up last year. I would let him go before winter. Sorry to read of your troubles too. It won't be pleasant making the decision but the relief of him not suffering will make easier.
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I agree with this too.

I wouldn't put him through another winter on the above alone.

Lots of hugs. Xxx
 
I'm so sorry you have this added worry after all you've been through. I was in a similar situation with my old tb several years ago, although lucky enough to have him close to home. We noticed that he was finding it more difficult to get up and we also suspected that he never lay down to sleep because of it. We knew that as the ground got softer and more slippery as the winter came on he would find it even more difficult to get up, and we didnt want him struggling so we took the decision to give him the summer and then pts. He went very peacefully at the end of September, and although it was heart breaking we knew we had made the right decision and avoided him suffering. His last days were happy and he was very spoiled, we had time to say goodbye and show him how much he was loved.
 
Last winter was a breeze in terms of weather conditions compared to the one before that, and you have a horse who has started not to cope so easily with the winter.

There is no doubt OP, that you would be making the right decision in PTS before the winter starts..

Huge hugs from me x x

Fiona
 
I'm sorry, but I would have had him PTS last winter when he struggled to get up. That sounds like it affected his quality of life. I don't think finances come into the decision making here, it's a choice for his well being and comfort.

In your shoes now, I'd arrange to have it done ASAP and try to rebuild things from there. I'm so sorry, it's awful timing to have to cope with everything else.
 
I was in a similar situation nearly 4 years ago - husband left after having an affair with a much younger colleague. I was a stay at home mum with a 3 year old child, and a 23 year old mare on grass retirement livery

When he left, he left me with absolutely nothing, my parents had to step in and lend me a deposit on a flat for me and our daughter.

My mare was field sound and healthy, but I just couldn't afford to pay the retirement livery - I'd owned her for many years and she was my horse of a lifetime. I had her PTS (we split end of August, she was PTS end of September) and I was devastated, BUT between me and my lovely yard manager we agreed it was the only decision suitable for my situation.

Please please don't feel bad or guilty, I had to do it to a 'healthy' horse - your boy has had some struggling days, I think it would be the right thing to do.

You're not alone ❤
 
i have just remembered, ihadto retire my first horse as he had a heart problem,he rolled one day and he really struggled to get up, he also cantered up the field and turned sharply and went down, again a real struggle to get up. we used to turn out before work and there was no one there until we got back from work and as the winter was coming i decided to PTS . he was 22 and had been retired for a year because of his heart and i didnt want him to go down and not be able to get up and would have to lay there till we arrived back in the evening...its never an easy decision but i think i made the right one...
 
BlueSkye said:
Too emotional for a better reply at the moment just wanting to thank everyone from the bottom of my heart for the kindness, compassion and wisdom you have all shared with me. I am going to print this thread off and sit down with a friend and talk it all through.

Thank you
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I think you have been so brave you have been through so much, it's never easy but with all the extra heartache it must be so hard just shows what a great horse owner you are, we are here if you need some support x
 
I didn’t want to read & run & can’t imagine what you are going through. If it helps. My 31 yr old home bred, & always lived at home with me, mare had been retired 6 yrs as arthritis had kicked in. One day she fell coming in from field & obviously was shocked & a bit out of breath. I was on my own with her. I let her rest until she showed she was trying to get up. I helped her & decided then not to let her go through any more shock & trauma, made arrangements, gave her a make over - groom trim bath pamper session & PTS the following day at home in her field. Better a day too soon.
 
Take care of yourself BlueSkye.....you've been through the mill but it sounds as if you're keeping your feet on the ground. It's hard for anyone to pass judgement without seeing your horse, but I would be inclined to say to PTS before the winter if not earlier. I would do it on a day by day basis - judging his quality of life and happiness, based on his mobility, appetite, weight and general demeanour.
 
I'd pts, it's what happened with the dog and given the panic I think it would engender in the horse, that would be my tipping point. Just be sure and don't let anyone persuade you to do anything you don't want to do.
 
What an utterly cr*ppy time you’re having, I’m so sorry and sending many virtual hugs. Your lad is not without his issues and I think in your heart of hearts you probably know the answer. Sending you much strength and as another poster said, very well done on getting your life in order, no mean feat when your world has crashed around your ears xxx
 
Last Winter was fairly mild as Winters go in most places. If he was struggling then imagine how much more he will struggle if we have another "Beast from the East" style one. Plus he's another year older now & that bit more arthritic. I think with everything else that you're having to deal with that PTS would be a very reasonable thing to do. Not just for financial reasons but for the sake of the horse. (Had you said the horse was well in all ways then I may be toning this slightly differently... even in that situation PTS may be better than an uncertain future but would be encouraging you to look at options first in that case) Sorry that you're having to think this over at a time when everything else has also gone wrong.

You don't have to do it immediately if that's what you decide but don't feel pressured to wait until the bitter end of Summer either. Your horse will not know or realise either way so take the option that you think is going to be kindest to you emotionally. Some people will take joy from setting a date in a few months time & making those last few months special. Some people will die a little every time they go to the yard knowing what's coming & find a period of a week or two (or a day or two) easier to deal with. It's a very personal thing
 
I would put pts before next winter. Even if you were a millionaire I would still say pts. Sounds like your horse has been well looked after by you for a very long time. He is one of the lucky ones. Look after yourself, it is never easy.
 
I am so so sorry to read the tough time you are having. You must feel like life has crashed around you.
I would PTS. Not only due to the age and issues your lad has but also to free you of a worry. It is a tough decision but the right decision.
Life will seem the biggest pile of crap at the moment but it will get better. Stay strong x
 
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