Hormonal Filly
Well-Known Member
She’s a beauty. Go and have a look.. keep us updated!
Would you scope or see how they go?
- Thread starter Stenners
- Start date
SO1
Well-Known Member
Hopefully you won't be in the situation PF and I were with our beloved New Forests and your horse will be ok and the exercise will improve gut mobility and no colics or other symptoms and you will have her for more time.
When I lost Homey I needed time to save up for another pony and I wasn't 100% sure I could cope with having another horse and all the stress involved dealing with their ailments as well as thr costs. I didn't rush and I rode at a riding school and had an emotional break and a rest before deciding to look for another. I then got Bert who is on his second lameness investigation since I got him August. I have hardly ridden him at all. I am glad I did have the break of a year as I think if I gone from from the trauma of loosing Homey and the lead up to it with him being unwell straight into having another horse with vet issues it would have been emotionally a lot harder.
Bert had a 5 stage vetting with Xrays but I still have had a lot of vet stuff so if you are looking to buy a second horse now whilst still caring for your poorly one and the new horse ends up wirh issues how will you manage emotionally.
I think everyone is different and what was right for me is going to be different for you.
I still struggle with the loss of Homey and miss him terribly even though I have Bert who is very sweet.
When I lost Homey I needed time to save up for another pony and I wasn't 100% sure I could cope with having another horse and all the stress involved dealing with their ailments as well as thr costs. I didn't rush and I rode at a riding school and had an emotional break and a rest before deciding to look for another. I then got Bert who is on his second lameness investigation since I got him August. I have hardly ridden him at all. I am glad I did have the break of a year as I think if I gone from from the trauma of loosing Homey and the lead up to it with him being unwell straight into having another horse with vet issues it would have been emotionally a lot harder.
Bert had a 5 stage vetting with Xrays but I still have had a lot of vet stuff so if you are looking to buy a second horse now whilst still caring for your poorly one and the new horse ends up wirh issues how will you manage emotionally.
I think everyone is different and what was right for me is going to be different for you.
I still struggle with the loss of Homey and miss him terribly even though I have Bert who is very sweet.
Stenners
Well-Known Member
I might have found what looks to be the perfect horse to go and view - much much quicker than I imagine but she looks too good not to visit. I can't help feel guilty though.
Snow Falcon
Hoping for drier days
Stop feeling guilty. You're not replacing her. Go and see the horse first.
w1bbler
Well-Known Member
Definitely view the horse, otherwise you'll always wonder. When actively looking everything is a dud for some reason, when you're not actively looking they are all perfect 
Can you afford to keep new horse though, if the miracle occurs & the suggested light exercise somehow cures him?
Can you afford to keep new horse though, if the miracle occurs & the suggested light exercise somehow cures him?
Stenners
Well-Known Member
The more I think about it the more I think I probably won't ride her. been on the phone to my vet this morning as she's making a noise after she's eaten and they said it sounds like either she's regurgitating food or inhaling - either of them aren't a good sign especially when she's having soup. Spoke to the vet again (my original one as the once at the referral centre was off) and she said said I could try but equally she's not the sort of horse to say she's in pain and your riding for the sake of it and effectively riding a ticking time bombDefinitely view the horse, otherwise you'll always wonder. When actively looking everything is a dud for some reason, when you're not actively looking they are all perfect
Can you afford to keep new horse though, if the miracle occurs & the suggested light exercise somehow cures him?
she also doesn't see much point in rescoping especially as she's already making these noises.
Squeak
Well-Known Member
Everyone copes with grief in a different way, some people need time between horses and some people need another asap. Neither are wrong, I personally see getting another horse as keeping yourself looking forward. It sounds like you have a lot going on in your life at the moment and you need something to look forward to and enjoy. You wont love or care about your mare any less if you get a new horse but you might make things that bit easier for yourself.
On a completely different tack, maybe if you think of it as you're looking for another horse to take on the full work that your mare will no longer be able to do and any decisions with your mare is completely independent of whether you get a new horse or not it would make it easier?
Sorry to hear that the update isn't more positive
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Stenners
Well-Known Member
Totally get where you are coming from but I know having spoken to both vets the outcome is going to be the same its just a matter of time. Equally as my vet said this morning there is so much that can go wrong with her, choke, colic, rupture, aspiration pneumonia and she basically said a decision to see how she goes and hope nothing happens or one i make soon whilst she's still comfortable. my vet also said this morning they see no real point in rescoping especially whilst she's already making wheezing noises etc.Everyone copes with grief in a different way, some people need time between horses and some people need another asap. Neither are wrong, I personally see getting another horse as keeping yourself looking forward. It sounds like you have a lot going on in your life at the moment and you need something to look forward to and enjoy. You wont love or care about your mare any less if you get a new horse but you might make things that bit easier for yourself.
To an extent I've just been through this when I lost my beloved dog. I'm someone that needs another one asap but made myself wait for a puppy because I didn't want people to judge me for getting another too soon and you know what, no one else really noticed or cared but I was lonely and sad for months. If people had of cared then actually it was none of their business and it was their shortcoming for judging and not understanding. I think there's an element of saying to yourself that it is ok and giving yourself permission that you don't need to suffer and it doesn't mean you love or care about the animal less.
On a completely different tack, maybe if you think of it as you're looking for another horse to take on the full work that your mare will no longer be able to do and any decisions with your mare is completely independent of whether you get a new horse or not it would make it easier?
Sorry to hear that the update isn't more positive
maisie06
Well-Known Member
Absolutley start looking for another one. There's nothing wrong with that and you need some structure, focus and fullfillment in your life. So sorry you are going through this,
nagblagger
Well-Known Member
S#d what other people think, do what is the best for you.
I would have to go and see the other horse and buy if it was suitable. It is not taking away any of the care from your mare, as you are continually doing what is best for her. This is what is best for you, to cope with the inevitable tragic outcome.
I would have to go and see the other horse and buy if it was suitable. It is not taking away any of the care from your mare, as you are continually doing what is best for her. This is what is best for you, to cope with the inevitable tragic outcome.
SEL
Well-Known Member
Awww that's such a shame although perhaps making everything a bit more black and white fie you. It's so very hard when they look well.The more I think about it the more I think I probably won't ride her. been on the phone to my vet this morning as she's making a noise after she's eaten and they said it sounds like either she's regurgitating food or inhaling - either of them aren't a good sign especially when she's having soup. Spoke to the vet again (my original one as the once at the referral centre was off) and she said said I could try but equally she's not the sort of horse to say she's in pain and your riding for the sake of it and effectively riding a ticking time bomb
GrassChop
Well-Known Member
Hope you're okay Stenners.
ester
Not slacking multitasking
Looking at/for/buying another isn’t going to mean you don’t do the right thing by your mare, so go look.
Sorry it’s a situ you’re facing tho
Sorry it’s a situ you’re facing tho
Stenners
Well-Known Member
You have all been so kind thank you! Unfortunately the horse i was going to see ende dup going back to its owner but she has some beautiful horses in so im actually seeing 2 at the same yard today!
Squeak
Well-Known Member
Let us know how you get on!
Stenners
Well-Known Member
I think I have come to terms with the fact that I need to let my girl go sooner rather than later ;(. She did 2 droppings in 12 hours yesterday. she didn't drink anything through the night and didnt eat her breakfast. I'm also starting to make myself poorly with all of the stress.
southerncomfort
Well-Known Member
I'm so sorry Stenners. It does sound like it's time.
Sending you lots of love and support. xx
Stenners
Well-Known Member
Thank you - I'm not sleeping a wink and I have a 5 year old daughter to stay strong for, I can't carry on like this.
Barton Bounty
Just simply loving life with Orbi 🥰
I agree 100% with this.
Having been in the sad situation recently, if I had hindsight and could forsee what was going to happen, it may have softened the blow of losing him. However, I am glad I jumped in and got my new one. He has helped no end with everything, otherwise it would have been a very dark time.
Nothing will ever ever replace them but your heart will be big enough for the two
Stenners
Well-Known Member
Thank you - so sorry to hear you have recently been through this also. I'm just struggling to be brave enough to pick up the phone xxI agree 100% with this.
Having been in the sad situation recently, if I had hindsight and could forsee what was going to happen, it may have softened the blow of losing him. However, I am glad I jumped in and got my new one. He has helped no end with everything, otherwise it would have been a very dark time.
Nothing will ever ever replace them but your heart will be big enough for the two
southerncomfort
Well-Known Member
No you can't.
It's the hardest phone call to make, but your vet surgery will be very kind and understanding.
Stenners
Well-Known Member
Maybe I will feel better when I have made that call.
Barton Bounty
Just simply loving life with Orbi 🥰
It is a struggle, its the worst decision any of us ever have to make. But when you think about your love for her and if the situation is not going to improve, the kindest and most loving thing to do is let her go
she will know exactly how much she is loved
nagblagger
Well-Known Member
Are you close to anyone on here that could support you . If you were in Dorset I could be there.
Barton Bounty
Just simply loving life with Orbi 🥰
Or scotland? I could be there for you
Stenners
Well-Known Member
Oh bless you thank you - I have an amazing army of people at the yard that have offered support and they know the journey I have been on and a couple of them have offered to be there with me. I want her taken away at the same time so trying to think about all that too.
southerncomfort
Well-Known Member
I don't know if your vet practice is the same, but mine organise everything including arranging collection by the crematorium.
Picking up the phone and having the conversation is the hardest part. But it's the kindest thing you can do now for your friend.
Hormonal Filly
Well-Known Member
Once I made that ‘decision’ with my 9yo gelding I did feel some relief, as awful as that sounds but I think making the decision and booking it is a big step.
Sending you hugs. Xx
Sending you hugs. Xx
nutjob
Well-Known Member
You will, that's almost the worst part of it. Wishing you strength to get through this.
SEL
Well-Known Member
When my very, very beloved horse in my avatar told me it was time I thought I held it together until the poor receptionist said 'how can I help you'. Then I absolutely lost it.
Making the call is the worst part. Find somewhere quiet away from everyone else and know that you are doing it for all the right reasons
**hugs**