yard experts (just for fun!)

[Spit That Out]

lay lots of pitchforks down in the straw bed so the horse hits his legs on them as he walks around, this will hurt and will dissuade him from walking around and messing up his bed, or teach him to lift his legs higher, or something.
I swear to God I am not making this up. If I tried to think of something utterly mental to do with horses which is almost guaranteed to result in a serious injury, I doubt I could come up with something as utterly crazy as this advice...
Needless to say, it didn't happen.
gotta love the old Army boys...

That's just crazy

 

[Penny Less]

No, just cut them to slices, but do admit to grating carrots for pony with no teeth !!

 

[finkle]

My friend was advised the other day , that if she was struggling to get her horse to take her bute, then it would be a good idea to 'sprinkle it in the horses haynet'.

Needless to say she didnt bother with that advice.

 

[Spit That Out]

No, just cut them to slices, but do admit to grating carrots for pony with no teeth !!

Lol, bless you

 

[Rowreach]

A lot of the remarks ^^^ have a basis of truth in them, they have just got a bit warped somewhere along the line

However, two of our local experts (who a lot of people unfortunately listen to) have said the following to me:

1. Horses don't get laminitis, only ponies get it.

2. You should start a young horse in whatever bit you intend to ride it in later on.

 

[MinskiKaii]

We had a woman who owned a 10 year old,Welsh, ex riding school pony on our yard. She never sat on it or lunged it. Evidently it had worked hard at the school so she didn't want to make it!! I don't think she could out a bridle on if she tried!! It was prone to lamintis, so now work a great start!

Then on the feeding side, middle of summer and we had a lot of grass. She would bring him in in the morning and give him a whacking great haynet. Then chuck him back in the field. As everone knows laminitis is caused, by the juice in the grass causing knots in the horses feet So if he is stuffed full of good hay he'll be fine!!!

This is the same woman who when we opened up the hay field for the horses to have access to, asked if I had gone and told her pony!! How thoughtless of me not to, so she went all the way down the field and said to him it was open and came back!!

I'm just gutted I wasted 3 years doing an equine science degree, when I could have spent the time learning from someone like her

 

[kerilli]

A lot of the remarks ^^^ have a basis of truth in them, they have just got a bit warped somewhere along the line

However, two of our local experts (who a lot of people unfortunately listen to) have said the following to me:

1. Horses don't get laminitis, only ponies get it.

2. You should start a young horse in whatever bit you intend to ride it in later on.

I agree with your first line, definitely.

Re: 2., some girl backed a horse at the yard down the road where I used to live, and the first bit the poor thing ever had in its mouth was a pelham. The girl now calls herself an eventer... what a muppet. poor horse.

 

[TheoryX1]

From the silly b***h that owned the last yard we were on (now thankfully bankrupt as she deserves to be ....).

Horses are best kept stabled as they go silly out in the field and damage themselves.

Warmbloods jump in a different way to thoroughbreds so should be schooled differently from warmbloods (dont get it).

Horses should not be turned out as it ruins my fields.

Treat that cob of yours like you really, really hate him. (Advice given to me about my very dominant cob, who tried it on with me left, right and centre).

The best one of all was when I was at this yard on my own late one evening and the only person on the yard was the YOs hubby (even more ignorant). I was concerned over Mini TXs old pony and called my instructor for help. She reassured me and that was it as far as I was concerned. The next way the YO called me into the office and said 'Dont ever contact anyone else outside of this yard again for advice. You should have asked ***** (her hubby) for advice, or called me' Well, a week later I gave my notice in, paid a months livery in lieu of notice and left.

 

[mystiandsunny]

1. Horses don't get laminitis, only ponies get it.

Could someone explain this to my 15hh throughbred please? She's so laminitis prone she doesn't go out on grass and has a special paddock instead. It's not cushings based either.

 

[kerilli]

TheoryX1, got to love your last paragraph, because OBVIOUSLY there is only ever one 'expert' around, nobody else can ever know a single useful thing about horses...
jeez.

 

[Thelwell_Girl]

Off topic a bit but my sister told a mate on the yard that if she touched the inside of her horses ear it would die!!! she actually bleieved it haha it was rather amusing!

Aww, thats so mean but so funny!

 

[TheoryX1]

Kerrilii - I have put some pretty mild stuff in about these two 'experts', and they were the only people on the yard who were allowed to have horsey knowledge. The funny thing is that neither of them rode, or had ever ridden. Their daughter competed on ponies to JA level at BSJA and because hubby used to walk the courses with her, he designed all their competitions which were held at the yard, as he 'Knew what he was doing'. I could write a book about that couple.

Another classic, regarding my superstrong cob which I wanted to take hunting:

'Dont bother with a pelham. Put him in his usual snaffle. He will have to stop with the others at some point, so dont worry'. This is to me, a 40 something about to go hunting for the first time!!!!!!!!!!!

Have to say that on current yard where we have been for four years, and want to stay forever, we are all pretty supportive with no yard 'experts'.

 

[Puppy]

I had a rather dim TB, and someone told me to feed him fish oil to make him smarter

 

[TelH]

From the judge today...why have you got a pelham in your pony's mouth?

Me...Errr...because this is a showing class, as it's not a novice class it is correct for him to be in a double or a pelham...

Judge...is he a really strong pony then...

Me...Errr no we've never had any braking issues...

Judge...Oh I thought he must be because only horses should have pelhams not ponies...

Judge never even mentioned the person in the same class who was yanking their pony round with one rein on the bottom ring of a Dutch gag

 

[guccigivi2001]

that, because my horse had a swollen hock, i should put a heating clay poultice on it followed by cling film, gamgee and vetwrap to stpo it swelling and it will go down... needless to say i didnt do this however when mum was throwing some hay over the door said know-it-all decided to persuade my totally non horsey mum to do this. was ripped off immediatley as i walked on to the yard
a-fore mentioned know it all used to huff tut and rant if i didnt bring my horse in or out by the time she had because her horse was younger than mine and because it was still growing it deserved more grass than my tb
and that my horse should wear bandages/stable chaps in the summer to keep her legs cool

 

[wilsha]

one of my friends told me that this shampoo dies a grey horse blue!!!

 

[Puppy]

one of my friends told me that this shampoo dies a grey horse blue!!!

LOL! Maybe I should try that with my grey mare!!

 

[ChloeC418]

...basically, our 'saddle fitter' made a made to measure saddle for my old pony, but we wanted our money back because it basically screwed my pony's back up. The physio fixed it, so he was fine. The 'saddle fitter' said he didnt believe it, and was bringing his 'back man' to have a look.

When he turned up we coudnt help but laugh. This man was wearing a big white trench coat, with a stethoscope around his neck (god knows what he was going to do to his back with that?!? ) He picked up one of his front legs, leant against him, and said "yep, his shoulder's out". He then proceeded to grab his tail, lean back, and swing from side to side!! We seriously hoped the pony would kick him, but sadly he didnt lol. He said that our physio was fake (our physio does the british team - so is pretty good!!)

........ It took us ages, but we got our money back from him, and we found ourselves a new saddler, who isn't fake.

The 'expert' in this story, was the 'backman' - incase the story's a bit long/random

 

[tonitot]

someone at work who thinks they know it all told a new person that putting a nose band on a horse makes it bring its head down

 

[tinkandlily]

I had just bought a yearling who had lived out all its life, so as you can imagine he wasn't very happy in a stable. Our yard "expert" told me to stand out side his stable and whack his nose with a whip if he tried to get out.

Then a few weeks later another "expert" had bought a 17.3 warmblood, that she had not hope of riding. She was used to ponies and he had a big canter, so because she thought he was too fast, she put on a pelham that was ment for a 13 hnd pony, upside down and the wrong way round, a really tight flash and a martingale that was twisted. She was so busy do every thing wrong she forgot to tighten her girth. I tried to warn her but she told me that as i didn't have a horse( i had a pony at this time) I didn't have a clue, needless to say she didn't stay on long, the horse when mad, she never rode him after this, she asked me, the one who didn't have a clue.

 

[Chestnuttymare]

Some of these are really funny. I had an 'expert' tell me that they should all get a battering now and again and that went for children and dogs too!!
Might consider this with child but not dog or horse

 

[Kittykins]

Can't think of anything specific right now, although I'm sure I've heard some crackers in my time.

But reading all these is making me feel really sorry for all these idiots' horses. I want to run round, collect them all up, and dole them out to people who actually know what they're doing!!

 

[Crazy Friesian]

1. Horses don't get laminitis, only ponies get it.

Not sure my friends Shire x read the "rule book" on that one either...

 

[somethingorother]

I can't beat some of these, but i was a bit annoyed to be told by someone who doesn't break out of trot to 'saw on the reins' when my share was being a giraffe one day. (99% of the time he goes nicely now, but this was a scary windy day). I reminded her sharply that the reins were attached to his sensitive mouth, and continued with my circles, transitions and lateral work to get him going properly.

I have to admit, i think i am the yard 'thinks she knows it all' but hopefully they are mostly right (and certainly nothing like on this thread!)

 

[megwan1]

i had someone stood in my stable doorway whilst i was muckin out tellin me where i was goin wrong and how i could do better! SO.... i through the muck fork at her problem solved!!!

 

[Sayra]

At Blair Horse Trials a few years ago "look at the way so-and-so is swishing his tail for extra impulsion over the jump!"

 

[sjmcc]

i had someone tell me how i fed my horses too much ect ect only too the fact his two were very poor full of lice and bald patches n id reported to the ILPH while he stood there giveing me advise within days they came with a vet n took them both off him hahaha

 

[Hippona]

I was mean to my horse for putting him out so early in the morning (6.30am).....he was tired in the field you see, it being a long day for him......she saw him yawning

 

[Natch]

I was mean to my horse for putting him out so early in the morning (6.30am).....he was tired in the field you see, it being a long day for him......she saw him yawning

And hers were tucked up nicely in bed for 20 of the 24 hours I presume? Wouldn't want them to get tired, would we??

We used to be on a yard with several bratty teenagers. One of them's gems was "I'm not buying a welsh D, they can't do dressage".

Ahem. We had just got back with our section D from his second ever dressage, and he had come 3rd with a respectable 74%

Having cough coughed and pointed meaningfully at his rosette we got the reply "yes but thats not proper dressage" .....

 

[ThePony]

from a ym at a yard we were considering moving to (needless to say we found somewhere else!). Going on the walker twice a day is sufficient time out of the stable to replace turn out. Um, no, not really! Trudging round for 20 mins is def not time at liberty to stretch out, graze and socialise! Scary!