YOs how would you deal with this complaint?

[el_Snowflakes]

Just a pity your horse isn't a kicker.....

 

[Marydoll]

Sorry but if someone ran a wheel barrow in to my horses legs, id have stood on the path until id checked her over giving the eejit who did it a warning to gtf out of my sight before i went totally apeshit on their ass, id have struggled not to jam the barrow up her ass

 

[Arizahn]

Firstly, I hope that the horse is alright.

I'm assuming that this is DIY; given that you were turning out and the other livery had a wheelbarrow, etc. Obviously the YO wasn't there, so they are in an awkward situation unless they can verify what happened.

So, if I were the YO I'd confiscate the wheelbarrow and (in the absence of prior unacceptable behaviour/objective and reliable witnesses/injuries to horse) insist that both of you go onto Full Livery until the dispute was resolved. Once/if I acquired proof either way, then I'd give the problem livery notice to leave and refund the injured party the difference in livery costs as compensation. And if it turned out to be six of one and half dozen of the other, then I'd give you both notice.

Harsh but fair, and preserves the YO's sanity.

 

[AngieandBen]

She'd be off my yard that day, I would hate to think someone was being bullied , I'm sure your YO would want to know.

I would have put my horse out then gone and seen her, then I would have probably have thrown a real tantrum! I'm known for saying it as it is, I take no prisoners!

 

[ester]

If you were both adults tbh I think I would expect you to sort it out among themselves, I know my YO wouldn't be too pleased having to deal with such a ridiculous situation on a yard full of grown adults.

 

[luckyoldme]

loads of ideas here, i do question the people who say they would have responded with violence though, maybe its just keyboard bravery.
Ive no idea how I would respond as a yo.
In my experience generally when people behave in this manner its usually due to their own issues and unhappiness, and in the past when it happened to me i decided not to waste time and energy and moved on. The thing is that some folk want this kind of drama in their lives and are so bitter and angry that they will fight to the end of time. I prefer to have my horse somewhere where i can go and enjoy him without sneaking round to avoid a psycho.

 

[MerrySherryRider]

If you were both adults tbh I think I would expect you to sort it out among themselves, I know my YO wouldn't be too pleased having to deal with such a ridiculous situation on a yard full of grown adults.

This^^^. I don't think my YO would take kindly to sorting out minor squabbles amongst liveries unless the victim was a child.

 

[Kallibear]

If you were both adults tbh I think I would expect you to sort it out among themselves, I know my YO wouldn't be too pleased having to deal with such a ridiculous situation on a yard full of grown adults.

Unfortunately I think you'll find this true in most situations.

It sounds like this woman is being a bully. Probably not purely for malicious enjoyment but she feels she's got a point to prove (possibly that she doesn't approve of how you handle your horse?). Her reasoning doesn't have to be good for her to justify it in her head.

As with all bullies, if you act like a doormat, they'll treat you like one. Either you get the YO to intervene (if you think the YO will be any good) or you confront her. Otherwise this will just simmer.

Personally I'd have flipped if she'd rammed my horse with a wheelbarrow and had a very unpolite 'WTF do you think you're doing?!?!' rant at her. That would have sorted the issue there and then, pretty much guaranteed.

 

[kez81]

Ok well have posted under this name before regarding a fellow livery constantly on my case. This week it reached a possibly dangerous point.
The track to the paddocks was icy and I was leading my horse slowly and trying to keep her on the grass edge whilst I dealt with walking on the icy puddles. Fellow livery got slowed down by me and shouted at me to hurray up, I didn't due to ice, my horse then started trotting so told her off and got her calmed down to a walk, fellow livery then shouted "all she needed was a wheelbarrow up her ass", it turned out she had rammed my horses back legs with her wheel barrow to speed her up.

Was absolutely gobsmacked (not good at confrontation as get tounge tied) and couldn't think of what to say bar seriously considering smacking her in the mouth, so pulled over at the nearest point and told her to go round. Will be making a formal complaint to the YO when he returns from holiday this week.

Luckily my girl didn't kick out, slip over, pull me over or get injured but am flipping fuming!!! As a YO or as a livery how would you deal with this?

As a yard owner this person would be off my yard with a thorough ticking off for blatantly endagering a fellow livery. As a livery I would be putting in a formal complaint to the yard owner and if it wasnt dealt with satifactorily I would be looking for a new yard.

 

[ester]

As a YO why would you believe one person other another/take such drastic action on the say so of one?

 

[Mahoganybay]

If you were both adults tbh I think I would expect you to sort it out among themselves, I know my YO wouldn't be too pleased having to deal with such a ridiculous situation on a yard full of grown adults.

This is why I asked how old the OP was and the other livery! The answer to the situation would depend entirely on this.

If for example we are talking about two adults then I am sorry OP you need to act like an adult and sort it out directly with the other livery, no way would I bother my YO with stuff like this. You may not like confrontation (not many people do) but sometimes in life you half to stick up for yourself! This does not involve any form of violence on either part (ramming wheelbarrows, or kicking each other in the foof, yes I saw your other thread)! But conversation with very clear boundaries.

If you are a minor and the other livery an older adult, then this is were your parents must step in and have that conversation.

 

[Mahoganybay]

As a YO why would you believe one person other another/take such drastic action on the say so of one?

Indeed! Adults behave like adults and sort things between themselves! If I went to my YO with something like this, I know what she would say, and quite rightly too.

 

[Prince33Sp4rkle]

i wouldn't engage in physical violence (unless mine or horses lives were in immediate danger) but id have absolutely ripped her a new one verbally and left her in no doubt of what i thought of her.

 

[ester]

I don't think OP has answered that query so I am presuming adult atm!

 

[Mince Pie]

Firstly, I hope that the horse is alright.

I'm assuming that this is DIY; given that you were turning out and the other livery had a wheelbarrow, etc. Obviously the YO wasn't there, so they are in an awkward situation unless they can verify what happened.

So, if I were the YO I'd confiscate the wheelbarrow and (in the absence of prior unacceptable behaviour/objective and reliable witnesses/injuries to horse) insist that both of you go onto Full Livery until the dispute was resolved. Once/if I acquired proof either way, then I'd give the problem livery notice to leave and refund the injured party the difference in livery costs as compensation. And if it turned out to be six of one and half dozen of the other, then I'd give you both notice.

Harsh but fair, and preserves the YO's sanity.

I like this solution the best. Although, I'd probably rug the horses up well and turn them out for a week!
If others have approached the op then surely there are others who can cooberate her story, it would be less pressure onthose other liveries to tell their sides of the story to the YO without the op and the other livery there.

 

[Wagtail]

As a YO why would you believe one person other another/take such drastic action on the say so of one?

I think that is what many people don't seem to be considering here. The YO is in a very difficult situation because unless the accused is a known troublemaker, how is she to know who is telling the truth? What is to stop someone making up stories just to get someone else kicked off the yard? I don't for one minute doubt what the OP is saying is true, but as her YO, I would be faced with two customers, both of whom have not given me any trouble, with conflicting stories. You cannot simply go throwing people off a yard on the say so of another livery. You need proof.

 

[Honey08]

Oh totally Wagtail, that's why I'd just mention that there had been some complaints, say that I hadn't seen anything but would be keeping an eye out as it was not acceptable. Even perhaps a general notice on the notice board regarding bullying and respect towards other liveries.. I wouldn't be just throwing someone off or confiscating tools at that point, but I would make people aware that I had heard and would be watching in future.

 

[one off]

To answer some of the questions asked, my horse is shod in front hence going slowly to avoid slipping, I am in my 30s the other livery is in her 40s. She has had complaints about her attitude before (no witnesses so could have been a deference of opinion) but nothing physical. I would completely understand the YOs position of not being there at the time so would be my word against hers and the 2 other people on the yard at the time heard our voices but couldn't make out what was being said so no direct witness.
I really do wish I had been able to speak to her about it that morning as this could of cleaned the slate but when I got back to the yard she was already gone and I haven't seen her since.
Without proof I obviously wouldn't expect her to be asked to leave but I also don't want her to think her behaviour was acceptable as it wasnt, so I think reporting it to the YO is the best way to handle this

 

[PolarSkye]

I think that is what many people don't seem to be considering here. The YO is in a very difficult situation because unless the accused is a known troublemaker, how is she to know who is telling the truth? What is to stop someone making up stories just to get someone else kicked off the yard? I don't for one minute doubt what the OP is saying is true, but as her YO, I would be faced with two customers, both of whom have not given me any trouble, with conflicting stories. You cannot simply go throwing people off a yard on the say so of another livery. You need proof.

You're quite right, chucking people off a yard based on hearsay is a bad policy . . . but any YO worth his or her salt knows who the troublemakers are and has a fairly decent handle on what's going on just from being around, listening and observing.

P

 

[ester]

Why can't you just have a word with her yourself OP? Along the lines of not appreciating her attitude and to never dare to make contact with your horse at all.

I am really struggling not to see this as all a bit playground/asking the dinner lady to mediate (apologise and shake hands used to end those iirc!)

My YO is pretty involved as she owns 3 of the 10 horses on the yard but in this situation I can only imagine her coming up with you are all adults and old enough to fight your own battles and mumblings about growing up. Unless she had beef with one of them herself.

 

[WelshD]

Why can't you just have a word with her yourself OP? Along the lines of not appreciating her attitude and to never dare to make contact with your horse at all.

I am really struggling not to see this as all a bit playground/asking the dinner lady to mediate (apologise and shake hands used to end those iirc!)

My YO is pretty involved as she owns 3 of the 10 horses on the yard but in this situation I can only imagine her coming up with you are all adults and old enough to fight your own battles and mumblings about growing up. Unless she had beef with one of them herself.

I agree with this. Really you should have said something at the time. You are both grown ups

 

[Lyle]

Did she actually make contact with your horse? Or did she just get close enough to spook her? Tricky situation, bullying is awful. I do think though, that you need to speak to this lady. Write down your concerns, make a list of the incidents, and just simply state how you would like it rectified.

 

[skint1]

I don't think that your YO is going to get involved, I know my YO/YM wouldn't want to get into it as sadly it will come down to your word against hers. Often times someone like this will treat you this way not so much out of jealousy but because they lack respect- they might think you have much less experience than they do or they might be a control freak who just can't help themselves. They might be one of those who just HAS to speak their mind at any cost because the world knowing their opinion is the only thing that matters.

In terms of handling it yourself, I really don't know what to suggest. When faced with a situation like that myself I have usually tried to psychologically disarm the person by being unfailingly polite, making a joke out of their worst offenses and stuff like that. However, I don't know if it's been worth repressing all the anger I've felt at continuing to turn the other cheek-maybe it would have been easier to just tell them to get the hell off my case!

 

[Marydoll]

loads of ideas here, i do question the people who say they would have responded with violence though, maybe its just keyboard bravery.
Ive no idea how I would respond as a yo.
In my experience generally when people behave in this manner its usually due to their own issues and unhappiness, and in the past when it happened to me i decided not to waste time and energy and moved on. The thing is that some folk want this kind of drama in their lives and are so bitter and angry that they will fight to the end of time. I prefer to have my horse somewhere where i can go and enjoy him without sneaking round to avoid a psycho.

I can assure you its not keyboard bravery from me, i would not tolerate anyone putting my horse at risk of injury like that, so yes i would go totally ape at them i dont care how much of a big shot they think they are, the biggest of them arent long in winding their neck in when challenged

 

[luckyoldme]

I can assure you its not keyboard bravery from me, i would not tolerate anyone putting my horse at risk of injury like that, so yes i would go totally ape at them i dont care how much of a big shot they think they are, the biggest of them arent long in winding their neck in when challenged

I was more reffering to physical violence. When i came up against this type of situation the person in question would have loved a smack in the face, she would have been straight down the police station bleating like a lamb. There are some people you just cant reason with and who just don t know when to stop. If someone is mentally unbalanced enough to ram a horses back legs with a wheelbarrow I would want me and my horse as far away from them as possible, as quick as possible to restore my life back to its current happy state. Lifes to short.

 

[ozpoz]

I would not want anyone on my yard who was not able to behave safely around every horse there. The risk of legs being trapped in a wheel barrow is what concerns me. For me, that lack of awareness is the bottom line.

 

[Kezzabell2]

I'd walk behind her and ram the wheel barrow into her. See how she likes it. Silly wench would have been good if your mare had kicked her.

 

[FairyLights]

OP can you move yards? if so do so and let the current YO know why you are leaving.

 

[minesadouble]

Did she actually make contact with your horse? Or did she just get close enough to spook her? Tricky situation, bullying is awful. I do think though, that you need to speak to this lady. Write down your concerns, make a list of the incidents, and just simply state how you would like it rectified.

I do think this could be the case. I think if the barrow had made contact with the hnd legs the OP would have heard it happen.

 

[OWLIE185]

I would suggest that her actions could have caused a serious accident and if this was reported to me I would be keeping a close eye on her and her behaviour with a view of giving her notice if there were any more incidents involving her. I would not want an unnecessary accident on my yard thank you very much.