Amusing things you hear on the yard

[ruby1512]

I had a potential sharer come to my yard for a look around and see whether she'd liked the situation, she was very novice but wanted to learn, I showed her how to muck out, then after about 40mins she asked 'do you have to do this everyday?' hehehehehehe she didn't stay I think the thought of mucking out everyday put her off!

 

[KVH]

Following along the lines of the rug names, I got a comment on facebook on a pic of my boy frolicing in the school in his rug from a friend in Canada saying 'Awww how cute! He's wearing a coat!'
It did amuse me, it has to be said.

 

[sakura]

someone once commented on a photo of my previous horse saying "that's a really lovely pink frock!"

my horse was a boy, and the rug was purple!

Luckily my gelding then outgrew the 'pink frock' and kept with dark blue and grey after that .... just in case

 

[Cuppatea]

one of our grooms was getting a bit picked on while mucking out one of the horses and came out saying ''god!! he's as bad as an animal!!!''
never let her forget that one!

 

[PoppyAnderson]

My OH asked if horses wagged their tails like a dog to show that they're happy! I guess it's a reasonable question if you haven't got a clue. And my friend thinks I'm a total numpty 'cos I have lessons and my horse isn't shod. She thinks other peoples horses are somehow 'posher' if they're shod. It's based on no knowledge at all, as she doesn't know one end of a horse from another!

 

[Sanolly]

Nothing to add, but I am giggling away here!

 

[gemmypie44]

I know of two horses who manage to get their rugs off un-ripped and all done up still

Our cob does that!! Want to rename him Houdini. He always looks very pleased with himself....

 

[lucyc]

frequently get asked by little kids why the horses are pooing and weeing while out on treks and have had kids try to tell their ponies off after have a poo not in the toilet!

 

[MissTyc]

My friend once helped me tack up maaaaany years ago. I left her with his tendon boots and came back to find them upside down over the front of his knees :lol:

 

[gemmypie44]

My mother in law is a novice... And I help her alot with her cob, but I have had to explain 100 times what a numnah is to her its a blanket, rug is a coat, saddle is a seat, anything faster than walk is gallop, shavings and hay is straw, martingale is neck thingy, good thing I understand novice... The poor pony stands still as she slides her self off his side back onto the floor...
We all need to start somewhere but the names of horse equipment and paces will always be what she calls them now, I do cringe when we speak to horsey people. :/

 

[Pixiedust91]

Yesterday the OH came to watch me ride for the first time, I nearly pee'd myself when he asked how i got him to "run" faster as I didnt move or do anything, I took great pleasure in telling him that it was telepathy and the proceded to keep changing my "running speed" beween halt walk trot and canter. I was rather amused, especially as he believed me

Years ago i left my friend with my TB taked up and tied up on the yard as i needed to help another friend get her horse in from the field, I came back 10 mins later to find that he had dismantled my bridle and was feeding him cake..apparently he thought he couldnt eat with that big metal thing in his mouth... I was in stiches

 

[Archangel]

Lol my other half does come out with some gems.

Refers to rugs as cloaks, and haynets as "balls of hay".
Also assumed that when walking a SJ course, you memorised it, then taught it to the horse!! If only!!

 

[Horseback Rider]

My OH came up one nite to help when I had to bring horse plus 2 others in. He led mine in to yard and I had other 2. When we go to yard I told him to just stop walking and horse would stop beside him ( which he does ) anyway everytime OH stopped horse would slow down ready to stand and then OH thought he wasn't going to so he would step backward, so while I was putting other 2 away he and my horse where walking round in a circle ! I had to stop laughing before I went to help him ;-)

I love the way OH also tries to tell me that I am to soft on horse as "in the wild " but then I try to explain to OH that " in the wild" he woudln't be fenced in a field etc. Or on the other hand he tells me I am mean for leaving him out when it's windy ??

 

[M'n'M]

my mum calls rugs blankets .

Over here we actually do call them blankets

These are hilarious! Once I was teaching my friend how to pick a horse's hoof and told her to not dig at teh frog and she goes, "They have a frog living in their foot?!?!" haha I guess it does sound odd...

 

[miss_bird]

I must have loads bit cant remember them at the mo, but do keep them coming people i am in fits of giggles reading them

 

[Horseback Rider]

forgot to ad OH also thinks horse is a bit thick as he can't teach him to sit & give hoof but can get the dog to sit & give a paw !lol

 

[mainpower]

At my first "big" show, trying to look as "posh" as I thought everyone around me was, my Dad turned up to watch me in the Working Hunter. We were all walking around at the end of the class waiting for the judge to make his decision when my Dad ducked under the rope and strode over to the judge, pointed at me and said "can you tell my daughter I'm leaving and it's sausages for tea". The judge did relay the message.... with tears in his eyes from laughing!

 

[pintoarabian]

When my best friend was a teenager, he went on a hack for the first time with another group of novices. They were all given a briefing by the instructor before they set off. When about to cross a bridge over the river, they all stood up in their stirrups. The instructor asked them why they were doing that and they replied, "You told us to stand in the stirrups when the horse was about to pass water." I have never let him forget that.

 

[bumper]

From yesterday.

My OH is a gem, and lets me lie in on a Sat morning whilst he mucks out and turns out my boy. I left a banana for him to take up as pony loves them. The conversation when he came back went like this:

"Did you give him his banana?"
"Yes, but he didn't like it"
"Oh! he normally does!"
"Well he ate the bit that dropped out of the peel"
"Umm...so, you peeled it , right?"
"No"
LOL!!!

 

[Seahorse]

One of my ex boyfriends asked me if I was going to do my horse 'two tone' it took me ages to work out that he meant having a trace clip!!

Someone else asked me when my pony was going to grow up to be a man...

I had 2 TB bay geldings, they were both the same age and were turned out in the same field. A little girl came and asked me which one was the Mummy and which one was the baby, bless her! She looked very upset when I explained they were both boys and not related at all!

 

[juliette]

Left my daughter to tack up pony, when she first started sharing it, for literally a few seconds, came back to find she had walked underneath the pony with the girth as it was "easier" than leaning under from the other side to reach it! Luckily pony is very easy with kids and tends to keep very still when they are doing her!!!

 

[Pharphar!]

on the dad theme..... not technically yard based but my dad commented on me taking warm water up to the yard in the snow:

dad- 'whats that warm water for?'
me- to try and stop his buckets freezing why?
dad- 'dont forget warm water gives them collar!

bless he meant collic.... poor dad. n when asked hi opinion on my darling oss he replied 'nice meat for burgers'. sigh

 

[tabithakat64]

The best things I've heard recently have all been from someone who has years of experience working with horses and has competed to a high level.

When she reaches 500kg we'll be able to show her in a heavyweight cob class.

'Horse' will be fine for cob classes as she has 9 and a half inches of bone above the knee.

Barren mare classes are for mares that are unable to have foals.

I had to go and sit in the car and have a little giggle to myself.

 

[bumper]

The best things I've heard recently have all been from someone who has years of experience working with horses and has competed to a high level.

When she reaches 500kg we'll be able to show her in a heavyweight cob class.

'Horse' will be fine for cob classes as she has 9 and a half inches of bone above the knee.

OMG!! That's not so much funny as misguided lol

 

[Latiano]

Well not as funny as yours but just yesterday I was having lunch with my dad and he asked what my daughter was doing and I said

"Oh she's having a riding lesson then doing blahh blah"

He says "Riding lesson?! If she doesnn't know how to ride a horse after all these years she should get another hobby"

I regularly hear that from my non-horsey family

 

[sprite1978]

I went to see a mare for sale, and i looked under to see a sarcoid high on the inside of a rear leg........... The very novice DEALER said "Are you sure? I think its a nipple" "anyway whats a sarcoid?"

She also wore a riding hat the second she got out of the car until she got back in the car to leave the yard - Oh...and she didnt ride.

 

[TJP]

My son is 5 and has had his pony for 4 years. He is convinced she is the youngest thing in the yard as she is the 'littleist' (his words) Now he knows the foals were born this year, the yearlings last year etc. He also knows his pony has been with him 'forever' again his words. No matter how much I explain it etc he just replies 'she is the littleist so she is the youngest'. Ahhhhhhhhhh & his teacher says his maths is well above what she would expect of a 5 year old child.....

 

[c2b]

Once had a woman on our yard......she didn't last long. Had supposedly kept horses for 46yrs!! Didn't know how to do up a rug, pick out hooves, put a bridle on and forget taking bridle apart for cleaning. I digress.
She had a super little heavyweight cob with fantastic flowing feathers. She clipped his feathers off as they were too heavy and causing him to trip.

 

[E_Lister]

My non horsey dad thought that rearing was when the "rear" of the horse went in the air so by process of elimination bucking was the front end in the air.

This actually didn't come to light at the yard, but when I was in hysterics because someone else on here said their OH believed that, I thought it was so funny I told my dad who replied "well whats funny about that, that is how it goes isn't it?".......

 

[tasteofchristmaschaos]

Left my daughter to tack up pony, when she first started sharing it, for literally a few seconds, came back to find she had walked underneath the pony with the girth as it was "easier" than leaning under from the other side to reach it! Luckily pony is very easy with kids and tends to keep very still when they are doing her!!!

I've never done this at all...
Or wheeled a wheelbarrow underneath him as he refused to move to let me round...
Then again, when they are 18.1 you don't have to duck much!