Amusing things you hear on the yard

[frostie652]

I pointed at a bay pony and asked my oh what colour it was.. he said arab
.... bless

 

[miss_c]

My Mum is one of those who constantly refers to hay as straw... I keep reminding her that I don't use straw AT ALL.

 

[piggyinablanket]

My Daughters friend asked me if the metal thing in his mouth would stop our pony breathing...

 

[diet2ride]

My oh, can't understand why the horse gets more new shoes than he does... Asked can't we pay out a bit more for better ones that last longer

Also taken a few conversations to explain why a gelding can't have babies.

 

[AFlapjack]

These are brilliant!!

When I was little, me and a friend were going to a riding lesson (my mum was driving us there). Somehow we got onto the subject of stallions, mares and geldings My mum was trying to explain the difference between stallions and geldings when I blurted out, "Geldings have their balls chopped off" and my friend took a big gasp and said, "So my dad's a stallion then?"

 

[Carefreegirl]

I did have a girl at school ask me once how horses put their coats on when it rained....

I get that all the time at work - only its do you put a blanket on your horse when its cold ?

A comment made to me at my old yard by another livery who every time she came back from a show declared that the British team selectors were there and were interested in her horse (they weren't believe me) watched me do a walk to canter transition and called over "nice transition AND on the right diagonal".

 

[Aoibhin]

i had someone stop and ask if i should have such a small baby horse out on the road with its mummy last year & they got quite cross with me & drove off calling ME simple because i had explained he was a section A pony, my mare was a welsh cob & they were not related.

 

[MosMum]

LOL these are great!

I was babysitting my friend's 4 year old yesterday, he's got his own shetland and they're a very 'horsey' family. Anyway M was looking out the car window and says: "I can see horses!" a few minutes later, "I can see cows!... They're not horses, because horses have heads!"

Hmmmm what kind of scary-ass cows live near HIS yard???

 

[Spotsrock]

my friends non horsey son thought it would be a good idea to ride her driving pony. Pony didn't think it was a good idea at all.

It took me a minute to work out what he meant when he said it pulled a wheelie. When I stopped laughing I asked if it was a front wheelie or a back wheelie. Apparently it was a front wheelie, I think pony reared!

 

[[59668]]

These are making me laugh!

I was having a conversation with a non horsey member of the family at Christmas about my very heavyweight coloured gypsy cob, and he came out with "well he must be fast, cos piebalds as a breed used to be prized over thoroughbreds for their speed...."

Where would I start correcting that statement?!

 

[Kellys Heroes]

Fantastic - got to admit, the 'most experienced' people or non-horsey people are the best!!
Not so much heard, but my first part loan pony had another sharer come to try him out - I got down there one day and found him happily munching on his bed - she'd only gone and put a bale of hay down for a bed and a leaf of straw in his net!!!
K x

 

[orionstar]

I've mentioned this before but had to again. I had booked the dentist for the new 3 yr old I bought with my sister. Sister has ridden for years but never owned one. 17hh warmblood could be a bit headshy so I was worrying about whether to sedate or not. I got a phone call from sis saying she was in Asda and had found a really big toothbrush so we could practise before the dentist got there. I still laugh when thinking about it!

 

[9tails]

A few from the parentals:

Num-num for numnah
Stripy socks for reflective legwear
"Surely it doesn't go out when it's raining"
"She had a little gallop while I was leading her in" <- jog
Jackets and nighties

 

[paisley]

Someone I used to house-share with and had horses was adamant that Shires were surprisingly speedy and "can gallop as fast as thoroughbreds!"
Remind me someone, when is the Shire Grand National again?

 

[brigantia]

My friend was riding her horse out in his rhythm beads which kind of look like a rosary. A guy we passed walking down the road asked, "Is your horse Roman Catholic?" LOL.

 

[tasteofchristmaschaos]

Remind me someone, when is the Shire Grand National again?

Usually when I call to mine whilst rustling a packet of polos!

 

[FanyDuChamp]

First yard we were on was large and busy. We were up having a cup of tea and a visitor came in asked whose horse the "palomino girl horse" was and said he thought she was dead. Never moved so fast, only to find my chestnut lad sprawled out sunbathing. The gentleman could not understand why we were all laughing at him!
FDC

 

[FanyDuChamp]

I've mentioned this before but had to again. I had booked the dentist for the new 3 yr old I bought with my sister. Sister has ridden for years but never owned one. 17hh warmblood could be a bit headshy so I was worrying about whether to sedate or not. I got a phone call from sis saying she was in Asda and had found a really big toothbrush so we could practise before the dentist got there. I still laugh when thinking about it!

This reminded me of the woman in a tack shop I went to who tried to sell me a tooth brush for my horse, now I love to spend money on him, but really?
Just in case no-one believes me.
http://www.equidentltd.com/

FDC

 

[KL93]

prob not as good as previous ones but my mothers boyfriend was driving me up to the stables past a load of horses in a field, suddenly he stoped the car dead saying "oh, my god thats cruelty right! they've made it so their horses are blind!" there was a serious look of horror on his face. lol it was a fly mask.

 

[dafthoss]

Someone I used to house-share with and had horses was adamant that Shires were surprisingly speedy and "can gallop as fast as thoroughbreds!"
Remind me someone, when is the Shire Grand National again?

Having ridden a shire across a stubble field I can confirm that they are very fast when they want to be but not thoroughbred fast.
I'm always getting asked why the pony is blind folded in the summer and have to explain it's a fly mask the best one is the woman who put the saddle on backwards when I went pony trekking years ago we told her it was wrong but she didn't believe us then when the person who worked there told her it was she said we had told her to put it on like that :O same woman also decided to come for a canter insisting she could ride then nealy fell off after the first few strides!! Strangely enough she didn't try again and didn't speak to us for the rest of the day.

 

[finnywinny]

Sometimes I think its just the choice of non horsey words that sounds so funny.

Walking with my (non horsey) OH past a field of immaculate eventers who get turned out for about 2 hours a day. "Look at that one" he exclaimed, pointing, "its got its hair all tidy and organised". Said horse had neatly pulled mane lying beautifully on the correct side.

Its now a joke between us - whenever i'm going to the yard to groom, plait etc I say I'm just off to tidy and organise some hair...

 

[Vixstar]

lol these are great!

I had one the other week that really made me laugh; I was in my local tack shop and there was a pretty blonde lady wearing high heel boots, hair imaculate and very obviously a "towny" with her young daughter kitting her out in all the safety gear (why? Just plonk the kid on the pony and off she goes!!) she was asking the shop attendant about getting a made to measure body amour!

Anyway she looked over at me and wrinkled her nose at my stable boots (just turned the horse out, so yeah my boots were pretty muddy) and she said "how does that not bother you?!" I said "What, the mud? That's what these boots are for!" I had to explain that I wouldn't wear my "going out" clothes up the stables, that's why I wear old jeans and these "digustingly muddy" boots! haha!

 

[Vickijay]

LOL these are great!

I was babysitting my friend's 4 year old yesterday, he's got his own shetland and they're a very 'horsey' family. Anyway M was looking out the car window and says: "I can see horses!" a few minutes later, "I can see cows!... They're not horses, because horses have heads!"

Hmmmm what kind of scary-ass cows live near HIS yard???

LOL

 

[maletto]

I work as an Equine Underwriter and was in meeting with our Insurers quite a few years ago and the guy that was supposedly doing an audit on my scheme said to me

"OOOOO I am so worried about this scheme - I think it has been underwritten completely wrong - most of the policies I have reviewed I have had to pull up because the horses don't live at the postal address - we can't be having horses living somewhere different to the Proposer!!!!"

WTF - I was so shocked I just stood there like a goldfish until I burst out into laughter
I then asked him how many horses does he normally see in peoples back gardens LOL LOL LOL eating the flowers!
I explained about people keeping horses in livery and he then understood but i must admit I did wonder how they can audit the scheme without any idea of horses.

Luckily over the years it has changed!!!

haven't read the rest of the thread so don't know if anyone's said this but I remember yonks ago (back in the days of Pony mag - is that still going?!?!) they had a letters page or something.

A girl wrote in to say that she'd tried to have her pony insured and the insurer she spoke to asked her what colour the pony was.

She said fleabitten grey to which the guy replied "oh, I'm sorry, but if she's already fleabitten I don't think there's much we can cover"

 

[mrsbt]

Someone at work once asked me how i fed my horse as horses are meat eaters aren't they! I laughed and then realised he was quite serious and was very surprised when i explained they do not eat meat!

 

[Chico Mio]

I clip my horses - just a nice apron clip to stop them overheating in the daytime temperatures we have here in the winter....comments I have had:

What happened to your horse? Why has his hair come off like that?

Why is your horse two colours like that? Is it to make him look pretty?

Mainly it is just a lot of pointing and whispering - and that's just from the adults.

They also have hoof boots which cause endless amusement: 'Look, Jose! That horse is wearing trainers!'

We put rain sheets on them so they can go out all day and one day when OH and I were rugging them up someone asked us if we were going to ride them in the rugs as they had never seen a horse in any kind of rug before.

We were accused of being cruel for puttng 'blindfolds' on them so they couldn't see - yep, fly masks.

Over here people call saddles 'chairs' all the time if they are speaking English, as that is the direct translation - silla de montar is 'riding chair'.

 

[Reindeer Rider]

My friend and I were discussing a bridle lame horse and after explaining to another livery what bridle lameness was she says "Well, I'd just ride it in a headcollar then!"

Same girl tells me "I have fleas in my stable, no wait, I mean headlice" They were woodlice!

Same girl led her horse up to a mounting block and said to me how does this work then?

Priceless!

 

[showjumpergirl]

Someone at work once asked me how i fed my horse as horses are meat eaters aren't they! I laughed and then realised he was quite serious and was very surprised when i explained they do not eat meat!

Someone wants to tell this to my mum's pony - he'll quite happily eat a few sausage rolls if they're about (we don't feed them to him or anything, he steals them of his own accord when they're offered to the riders at fun rides etc ).

I was once told by a hunting-anti who happened to pass the field in their car while we were (drag) hunting, that it was cruel to do so because the "horses don't know what they're doing", as if a horse would refuse to hunt because it disagreed with the morality!

Oh, and I was told that it's ridiculous to ask horses to work with their heads in (on the bit), especially while jumping, as it temporarily and partially blinds them This person was a novice to say the least, and was quietly corrected, but her horror was hilarious all the same

 

[Natch]

They also have hoof boots which cause endless amusement: 'Look, Jose! That horse is wearing trainers!'

I used to get a lot of comments from young boys about my horse wearing shinpads - they were combi knee & brushing boots

Best ever non-horsey quote was when I was riding in a forest with high viz on and a lad asked "Are you a forest ranger?" "Um, no, afraid not" "Oh. Well then are you forest police?"

 

[hippo-horse]

When my OH was new to me and horses,we were up the yard and he asked me how long it would take for the smallest pony to grow to the size of my horse(15H).He thought it went foal-pony-horse!Im still not sure what he thought shetlands were.