Merrymoles
Well-Known Member
Very sorry for your loss OP. Hugs
Angry, disgusted, devestated...trust no one!!!
- Thread starter silvershoes
- Start date
StoptheCavalry
Well-Known Member
I find it utterly amazing that people are still thinking this is the fault of the OP. I don't know about you but if I pay for a service I don't expect to have to carry it out myself. What is the point in having a professional supervising a livery yard if they can't carry out a simple level of care. I could train my dog to drag haylage into a field, the whole reason a professional does it is that you expect a certain level of care and the trained eye to spot when there is a issue which in this case there certainly was.
There was obviously an agreement in place whereby a trusted friend and experienced livery yard owner was put in charge of a horse for which they were being financially compensated, why on earth wouldn't you think the horse would be looked after?!?!
There was obviously an agreement in place whereby a trusted friend and experienced livery yard owner was put in charge of a horse for which they were being financially compensated, why on earth wouldn't you think the horse would be looked after?!?!
pootleperkin
Well-Known Member
Very well said AA, yet again!
Come on people, put the shoe on the other foot and have a good hard think as to whether you really are the paragons of virtue, wisdom and decision making as you evidently believe.....I can tell you one thing, examples of the above really wouldn't be kicking the poor OP while she is down.
patchwork puzzle
Well-Known Member
I was appalled at people blaming the OP at the start of this thread, and I am now positively disgusted at those who still see fit to pass some blame onto her, even though it is clear from their posts that they know the poor mare has lost her battle and the OP is obviously feeling distraught!
What kind of person must somebody be to willingly post something on here knowing full well the emotional state the OP is in, it is downright cruel and unnecessary!
Those of you that keep saying she should have at least had a friend to go and check, are you not reading what she has said time and again....the YO was her friend, so not only paying a YO to check, but in the same breath arranging a friend to check also!
What kind of person must somebody be to willingly post something on here knowing full well the emotional state the OP is in, it is downright cruel and unnecessary!
Those of you that keep saying she should have at least had a friend to go and check, are you not reading what she has said time and again....the YO was her friend, so not only paying a YO to check, but in the same breath arranging a friend to check also!
MerrySherryRider
Well-Known Member
You quoted me and I think I didn't make myself very clear in my post. I agree that an owner should be able to leave a horse in the care of the YO and expect a good standard of care. The OP counted this lady as a friend and rightly expected the horse to be looked after, particularly if it was made quite clear what the owner expected to be included in that care. Something went very wrong, especially as the mare never saw a farrier during that time and had lost all her shoes.
What happened is utterly heartbreaking. OP, has the vet given you any indication of what caused Slivershoes to collapse ? Was it an acute illness or was it due to chronic neglect ?
I really am so sorry for your loss.
starbar
Well-Known Member
I haven't trawled through this thread, just the first few pages. Grass livery is just that unfortunately..... renting a space in a field. If there was money changing hands for the horse to be checked over everyday, hayed, fed, rugs changed then the OP may have a case.
I don't understand why you haven't seen the horse for the best part of 3 months, considering the god awful winter we have had. This is the bit I find hard to swallow - you could have at least got the YO to send a photo of her?
I hope she gets better.
I don't understand why you haven't seen the horse for the best part of 3 months, considering the god awful winter we have had. This is the bit I find hard to swallow - you could have at least got the YO to send a photo of her?
I hope she gets better.
Mardy Mare
Well-Known Member
You need to read the whole thread
Goldenstar
Well-Known Member
OP I have not posted before because I just can't think what to say but I am so sorry she did not recover ,
I can imagine how awful you feel have an virtual hug from me.
I can imagine how awful you feel have an virtual hug from me.
Lucyad
Well-Known Member
I trust that none of those blaming OP in any way are on full livery, or use full livery while they are on holiday?
There is a difference between DIY grass livery, and full grass livery which seems to be what was being paid for. A horse is not going to die of being out at grass, if properly cared for, despite being a TB.
Not having the farrier for 8 weeks is hardly unusual (mine comes at 7 week intervals, for example, I wouldn't expect my horse to die if he was a week late). The shoes were pulled off by the mud - if the horse was just turned away, it isn't going to do it any harm in having shoes off for a couple of months, so unless there were nails sticking out it's not unreasonable for it not to have seen a farrier in that time.
It is reasonable to expect it to be fed sufficiently for it's condition, however....
There is a difference between DIY grass livery, and full grass livery which seems to be what was being paid for. A horse is not going to die of being out at grass, if properly cared for, despite being a TB.
Not having the farrier for 8 weeks is hardly unusual (mine comes at 7 week intervals, for example, I wouldn't expect my horse to die if he was a week late). The shoes were pulled off by the mud - if the horse was just turned away, it isn't going to do it any harm in having shoes off for a couple of months, so unless there were nails sticking out it's not unreasonable for it not to have seen a farrier in that time.
It is reasonable to expect it to be fed sufficiently for it's condition, however....
Wagtail
Horse servant
So, so sorry for your loss, OP. RIP beautiful girl x
patchwork puzzle
Well-Known Member
Any comments made by people that cannot be bothered to at least read the last few pages as well as the first, to ensure they know the full picture should be dismissed by the OP as nobody can make an informative comment based on a few snippets!
silvershoes
Well-Known Member
Thank you to the majority of people on here for their kind words and support. Glad there are caring people out there as I have certainly lost all trust from this.
As for the people with a bit more to say, yes, you might be right but it certainly isnt whats right for my horse, she suffered through no fault of her own after negligence from someone I was paying and someone I thought I trusted. Yes, it was a grass livery and I wouldn't expect the YO to do everything if I was sat on my butt 5mins down the road and just couldn't be bothered to go and see her. I was hundreds of miles away setting up my own livery yard where I certainly wouldn't let ANY of these horses on here end up in a state like she did. It was agreed for her to take care of our horses until arrangements were made to collect them. Regardless of owners responsibilities to make sure my horse was receiving adequit care because this was all put in place before I left. Therefore I did what I could and the YO let not only me but my poor horse down.
I don't even know why I have to explain myself but I will do everything I can for my gorgeous girl to get the justice she deserves. It was never supposed to end like this and there is only one person who let her get like this.
Our other mare is ok, she's in safe hands now. She is living out and in the few days she has been here she has put on a bit of weight and looks a lot happier. She is in a smaller paddock with 4 other ponies and a round bale, plenty water and feeds every day. Doesn't take much to just give them the care they need and deserve.
As for the people with a bit more to say, yes, you might be right but it certainly isnt whats right for my horse, she suffered through no fault of her own after negligence from someone I was paying and someone I thought I trusted. Yes, it was a grass livery and I wouldn't expect the YO to do everything if I was sat on my butt 5mins down the road and just couldn't be bothered to go and see her. I was hundreds of miles away setting up my own livery yard where I certainly wouldn't let ANY of these horses on here end up in a state like she did. It was agreed for her to take care of our horses until arrangements were made to collect them. Regardless of owners responsibilities to make sure my horse was receiving adequit care because this was all put in place before I left. Therefore I did what I could and the YO let not only me but my poor horse down.
I don't even know why I have to explain myself but I will do everything I can for my gorgeous girl to get the justice she deserves. It was never supposed to end like this and there is only one person who let her get like this.
Our other mare is ok, she's in safe hands now. She is living out and in the few days she has been here she has put on a bit of weight and looks a lot happier. She is in a smaller paddock with 4 other ponies and a round bale, plenty water and feeds every day. Doesn't take much to just give them the care they need and deserve.
pip6
Well-Known Member
Very sorry for your loss, absolutely tragic. Please don't blame yourself, you did what you thought was best for her, it was your 'friend' who let her down. Good to hear the others are improving.
BorgRae
Well-Known Member
So sorry for your loss 
RIP beautiful girl xx xx xx
RIP beautiful girl xx xx xx
patchwork puzzle
Well-Known Member
Silvershoes, you really shouldnt feel that you need to explain yourself over and over. Those who are being critical need to read the entire thread and they will then see that you have explained time and again. If anyone still feels the need to be critical then they are doing so knowing that it is inappropriate given what you are currently going through and as such, they dont deserve the effort!
Lambkins
Well-Known Member
So sad ..I really feel for you OP ..and for your poor mare..please don't blame yourself ..I too have left my boy with friends for 7 weeks (I had to go out to Australia ) I paid ..his stable rent , hay ,sacks off feed, shoes, bedding all upfront to YO ..and paid two friends to come and take care of him ..they did do a fab job and were well paid And I called all the time ..emailed too.. He cut his face while I was away ..as I was called ASAP ..I said call the vet no matter how small the cut (I was sent photos but couldn't really tell how bad it was ) vet came and fixed him ..he was like in a five star hotel ..all food no work !! ..but I guess I was lucky and have nice friends ..could have been very different I guess ..so it does happen people do leave their much loved horses in other peoples hands ..and I would have been gutted if this had happened to my boy..you did what you thought was right for your horse..but very sadly u and your horse were very much out of sight out of mind ...heartbreaking
And I called all the time ..emailed too.. He cut his face while I was away ..as I was called ASAP ..I said call the vet no matter how small the cut (I was sent photos but couldn't really tell how bad it was ) vet came and fixed him ..he was like in a five star hotel ..all food no work !! ..but I guess I was lucky and have nice friends ..could have been very different I guess ..so it does happen people do leave their much loved horses in other peoples hands ..and I would have been gutted if this had happened to my boy..you did what you thought was right for your horse..but very sadly u and your horse were very much out of sight out of mind ...heartbreaking hairycob
Well-Known Member
Just remembered it's half term. That probably explains the large number of critical posts from people who clearly have little experience of life.
OP, of course you don't have to explain yourself. Most of us understand - those who don't now probably will when they grow up.
OP, of course you don't have to explain yourself. Most of us understand - those who don't now probably will when they grow up.
1stclassalan
Well-Known Member
I too am very sorry to belatedly hear of the bad ending.
A plague on all the critics too - I would have them read, learn and inwardly digest that "grass livery" should be taken to mean just that - grass capable of sustaining a healthy horse - it does not mean taking someone's money and watching their horse fade away before your eyes!
I ask all that still wish to hold the O.P to blame part or fully to consider the events if it were an child. Can anyone imagine the following scenario? Child is left with minder who is being paid - mother comes to pick up but says "oh can you look after child for a bit longer because I have to go away for a while, I'll pay the same rate" - when mother returns she finds child on last legs - minder says "well, I only put food out but didn't check to see if it was eaten." MEIN GOTT IM HIMMEL! I doubt whether I could have contained myself with these people!
A plague on all the critics too - I would have them read, learn and inwardly digest that "grass livery" should be taken to mean just that - grass capable of sustaining a healthy horse - it does not mean taking someone's money and watching their horse fade away before your eyes!
I ask all that still wish to hold the O.P to blame part or fully to consider the events if it were an child. Can anyone imagine the following scenario? Child is left with minder who is being paid - mother comes to pick up but says "oh can you look after child for a bit longer because I have to go away for a while, I'll pay the same rate" - when mother returns she finds child on last legs - minder says "well, I only put food out but didn't check to see if it was eaten." MEIN GOTT IM HIMMEL! I doubt whether I could have contained myself with these people!
Big Ben
Well-Known Member
So sorry you lost your girl.
Spring Feather
Well-Known Member
What a very sad tale. That poor, poor mare. She was badly let down
julie111
Well-Known Member
I'm very sorry to read this, rip Silver Shoes.
eatmyshorts
Well-Known Member
OP, I am so sorry to hear of your loss. You have learned a tragic lesson that you should never have had to (presuming there where no other underlying health issues which caused your girl to go downhill suddenly), simply because you trusted a friend. Even if the arrangements you had left (ie grass and hay when snow on the ground) were not sufficient - and TBH based on my experience of my own TBs, it wasn't likely to be - the "professional" you were paying should have advised you of this so you could have rectified the matter. In saying that, from the condition you describe, it wouldn't take someone with much knowledge to spot there was something badly wrong and it should have been acted upon before it had such tragic circumstances.
Do persue justice for your girl, don't let her die in vain. I'm happy to admit that I'm not sure where you stand legally (unlike some who seem to confidently make it up), but it shouldn't be hard to find out. Do you have photos of her before you left? Or even someone who can vouch for her condition back then? Can you get the vet to write a report on likely cause of death? It will no doubt be difficult for you at this time to think about these things but you will be glad you did and it will give you comfort in the long run.
For the self righteous people on here who lack compassion and seem to think this is an appropriate time to lecture, you have taken this forum lower than i thought possible, even given it's reputation, and you should be ashamed of yourselves.
RIP Silver Shoes, and hugs to you OP xx
Do persue justice for your girl, don't let her die in vain. I'm happy to admit that I'm not sure where you stand legally (unlike some who seem to confidently make it up), but it shouldn't be hard to find out. Do you have photos of her before you left? Or even someone who can vouch for her condition back then? Can you get the vet to write a report on likely cause of death? It will no doubt be difficult for you at this time to think about these things but you will be glad you did and it will give you comfort in the long run.
For the self righteous people on here who lack compassion and seem to think this is an appropriate time to lecture, you have taken this forum lower than i thought possible, even given it's reputation, and you should be ashamed of yourselves.
RIP Silver Shoes, and hugs to you OP xx
Dirtymare
Well-Known Member
I too havent read all through the many pages of this thread. I dont need to, as I can imagine what utter evilness some ignoramuses on this forum can post!
From the bits I have read, it is crystal clear the OP did everything in her power to ensure her mare was OK.
To make matters worse, the person she entrusted her mare to was a friend.
Well, I hope she is no longer a friend.
OP, I am sorry for your very sad loss.
I hope you make a good go of your new yard and life and make some new good friends.
RIP lovely mare. Run free.
xxx
From the bits I have read, it is crystal clear the OP did everything in her power to ensure her mare was OK.
To make matters worse, the person she entrusted her mare to was a friend.
Well, I hope she is no longer a friend.
OP, I am sorry for your very sad loss.
I hope you make a good go of your new yard and life and make some new good friends.
RIP lovely mare. Run free.
xxx
nixharveandpri
Member
I'm so sorry for your loss OP
Try to ignore those who are knocking you - you paid the yard owner to check your horse, give additional forage and trusted them, not only as a livery yard owner but as your friend, to report honestly on how your horse was doing while in her care. If she's registered with the BHS or any other authority, I would consider reporting her if I was in your shoes, although can understand that's difficult while you're feeling emotional. It might prevent other horses in her care suffering though.
RIP little mare xx
Try to ignore those who are knocking you - you paid the yard owner to check your horse, give additional forage and trusted them, not only as a livery yard owner but as your friend, to report honestly on how your horse was doing while in her care. If she's registered with the BHS or any other authority, I would consider reporting her if I was in your shoes, although can understand that's difficult while you're feeling emotional. It might prevent other horses in her care suffering though.
RIP little mare xx
diamonddogs
Well-Known Member
Silvershoes, please stop trying to explain yourself to a bunch of callous hypocrits who wouldn't know compassion if jumped up and bit them.
I don't know what's making me more angry, the neglect of your beautiful girl, or people can come on here and read a couple of posts (including one who hadn't even bothered to find out the outcome before posting *****) and pass judgement on you, or the cruelty of those who did know the outcome but still thought it OK to pillory you.
You have nothing to explain, nothing to blame yourself for. I just hope you can somehow find a way to move on from this, and if that's dragging your so-called friend through the courts, or shoving her teeth down her throat, then that's what you must do.
I can't get your poor little mare out of my head, but at least she's in a place now where nobody can hurt her again. Which is more than I can say for you, but the decent ones among us are 100% on your side and grieve with you.
xxx
I don't know what's making me more angry, the neglect of your beautiful girl, or people can come on here and read a couple of posts (including one who hadn't even bothered to find out the outcome before posting *****) and pass judgement on you, or the cruelty of those who did know the outcome but still thought it OK to pillory you.
You have nothing to explain, nothing to blame yourself for. I just hope you can somehow find a way to move on from this, and if that's dragging your so-called friend through the courts, or shoving her teeth down her throat, then that's what you must do.
I can't get your poor little mare out of my head, but at least she's in a place now where nobody can hurt her again. Which is more than I can say for you, but the decent ones among us are 100% on your side and grieve with you.
xxx
julie111
Well-Known Member
Unfortunately some people think they are so brave making nasty comments behind the cover of their computers! These people are the two faced type that you sometimes have the misfortune of meeting in real life! RIP Silver Shoes.
fatpiggy
Well-Known Member
This is such a sad story. I learned the hard way too that "friends" are the last people I would trust my horse to. The first one cheerfully sublet the job to the totally novice YO to save her having to get up in the mornings, but didn't tell me and happily accepted the thank you gift I brought back after my brief visit to my family. I didn't find out for a year and then only by accident. If I'd wanted the YO to do it I'd have asked her direct but as she had very young children I wouldn't have imposed on her, let alone knew very little about horses anyway. The other time, again I was visiting family (for Christmas) and the person allegedly caring for my mare who was stabled 24/7 because we had no winter turnout then, left her in her stable the entire time, despite promising to at least get her out into the indoor for a roll every day, didn't feed her much before lunchtime (found out she had been bladdered every night so wasn't in a fit state to drive up) despite assuring me it would be around 9am so that my mare's time-dependent drugs weren't affected, only needed to skip out every day and remove the wet patch once, but just stuck a bale of fresh bedding on the day before I got back and thought I wouldn't notice. The fact that the entire bed squelched as I walked over it and I then had to spend an hour digging the whole thing out and use all my months spare supply to restart it - just lovely after a 9 hour drive, thanks very much. Needless to say that was the last time I spent Christmas with my family To cap it all when I had cared for her horse for a staight 2 weeks while she had a holiday the same year, she insisted (as if I'd do otherwise) that the bed was fully mucked out every single day. I even groomed the horse every day and cleaned her tack for her. When I care for an animal it gets exactly the same level of care and attention as I give my own and I never get paid a penny.
I know hindsight is a wonderful thing, but the OP would have done so much better to just stump up the money for a professional horse mover and taken the animals with her asap. This tragedy has cost far more in the long run, both financially and spiritually. After the events above, I never left my horse further away than I could get to in a day if there was an emergency, and never for longer than 5 days. Even when she was in horspital I did the 100 mile round trip to see her every day but I did believe at the time that she wouldn't be coming home so time with her was precious (she lived another 16 years!)
I'm afraid people make animals look like saints. RIP poor mare. I hope she is up there enjoying the nice grass with my old girl.
To cap it all when I had cared for her horse for a staight 2 weeks while she had a holiday the same year, she insisted (as if I'd do otherwise) that the bed was fully mucked out every single day. I even groomed the horse every day and cleaned her tack for her. When I care for an animal it gets exactly the same level of care and attention as I give my own and I never get paid a penny.I know hindsight is a wonderful thing, but the OP would have done so much better to just stump up the money for a professional horse mover and taken the animals with her asap. This tragedy has cost far more in the long run, both financially and spiritually. After the events above, I never left my horse further away than I could get to in a day if there was an emergency, and never for longer than 5 days. Even when she was in horspital I did the 100 mile round trip to see her every day but I did believe at the time that she wouldn't be coming home so time with her was precious (she lived another 16 years!)
I'm afraid people make animals look like saints. RIP poor mare. I hope she is up there enjoying the nice grass with my old girl.
Fairycupcake
Active Member
I havent read all of the replies but read enough. I personally think that the YO has a duty of care as it wouldnt of hurt for her to have sent you a text message or some thing just to say that she wasnt looking good, as she was quick enough to tell your OH that she was looking poor when he was on his way up to get her. It doesnt cost any thing to do this, regardless if you had a verbal contract that she was ment to be checking her or not so I do think that in that case she knew the mare was poor yet she didnt tell you. I also think that 2 months isnt as bad as leaving her for 6 or so months and then saying that you want back to get her and found her in this state, then I would be saying that you had every chance to go and get her back etc, yes I know that you could of seen her when the snow cleared and I couldnt say that I would be happy not seeing my own horse for 2 months and would of been really worried with all the snow we had etc and her being out but as you say you was very far away and the YO said that she would check on them, in which she obviously did but didnt think to alert you of the matter so in that case I see that she is in the wrong! Yes you could of gone and seen her after the snow had gone but you didnt and took her word on the matter. Im also taking that unfortunately she has had to be pts in which im very sorry to hear Not a nice story at all xx
Not a nice story at all xxexracer superstar
Well-Known Member
Op I am so sorry for your loss. Absolutely horrendous I have friends who I would trust with my horse to care for her for the same period of time without me feeling concerned especially when recieving updates saying she was fine.
For what it's worth I was on a yard April until August last year so summer, the grass wasnt bad to start with but yo kept allowing more and more ponies into our field my TB started looking poorer and poorer and I bucket fed etc to have the yo roll her eyes at me saying there was nothing wrong with her weight, fortunatly we moved asap but before being on her yard I would of considered her as someone I would trust although not a friend knew her well, if I had been in the situation the same as u I feel my responses of her would of been the same ohh she's fine but when I seen her would of been a different kettle of fish.
Once again sorry for your loss and I hope u can get some closure on the whole situation x
For what it's worth I was on a yard April until August last year so summer, the grass wasnt bad to start with but yo kept allowing more and more ponies into our field my TB started looking poorer and poorer and I bucket fed etc to have the yo roll her eyes at me saying there was nothing wrong with her weight, fortunatly we moved asap but before being on her yard I would of considered her as someone I would trust although not a friend knew her well, if I had been in the situation the same as u I feel my responses of her would of been the same ohh she's fine but when I seen her would of been a different kettle of fish.
Once again sorry for your loss and I hope u can get some closure on the whole situation x
zaminda
Well-Known Member
OP you have my deepest sympathy, this simply shouldn't happen when you are both paying for a service, and you are friends with the person.
I hope someone took pictures of the mare, and that you pursue this further. I would be talking to welfare organisations, and seeing if this woman could be prosecuted.
As Adorable Alice said, there have been several cases of trainers being prosecuted for failing to look after horses in there care.
It is all very well saying that you should have, could have gone to see her, but life is not always simple.
I hope someone took pictures of the mare, and that you pursue this further. I would be talking to welfare organisations, and seeing if this woman could be prosecuted.
As Adorable Alice said, there have been several cases of trainers being prosecuted for failing to look after horses in there care.
It is all very well saying that you should have, could have gone to see her, but life is not always simple.