Annoyed at livery - would you be?

[Gruntled]

Regular poster under a different name just in case, I'm keeping things vague in case of recognition. I am also couple of glasses of wine in so bear with...

Hadn't realised how annoyed I was until today, where I am now thinking of moving yards tbh. I have my mare on full livery at this same yard for a number of years now, which I pay rather a lot for, and up until recently has been lovely

Over the past week, I was quarantining at home after potentially coming into contact with someone who had tested positive for COVID. I texted my YM immediately and explained, but as I hadn't been down at the stables since this contact which was 3 days prior, there was no risk of infecting anyone there. YM responded and said fine hope you stay well etc. I explained this is why I wouldn't be seen and just that this was the current situ.

Upon returning to the yard, around a week later (I'm losing track of days/when this was - I left it 2 days after my quarantine was up, to be on the safe side as the recent government advice has switched to 10 days instead of 14, and that unnerves me) I was told by someone at the yard that while I was away my horse and all the horses in their field had escaped. They said they didn't want to tell me and stress me out while I was stuck at home under quarantine, so didn't tell me and were told explicitly not to mention it until I returned. The yard is near some very major roads and motorways, and apparently the whole herd galloped up to near the fence which has an open gateway for bridle path access which feed to some of these roads.

This had happened a few days prior to my return to the yard - had it have been the day before, I would be less fussed as it's still being told soon after the event. I was not rung by the YM who was there at the time, or at all. I heard simply by talking to the right person at the right time.

While I know it was a freak occurrence, and all the horses were fine - I still expect to be told about this as a full livery, as soon as possible after his has happened? I would expect the YM to ring me and explain what happened but that it was all okay, they were fixing the fence/gate and were going to look into a way to make the bridle path access safe in case this happened in the future? This access joins directly onto a major road, with an open gap to get onto the path. I know horses can be silly and escape, I'm not happy with that, but I completely understand that animals can escape through jumping through or damaging fencing etc. It happens, it's sadly a part of owning animals with a mind of their own, and at the end of the day they were all safe and I wouldn't blame the yard for what happened, unless it was wilful ignorance of someone leaving the field gate open etc.,... - I am appalled at the fact the YM, or no member of staff rang me even though they were all present for the occurrence. At no point have I even been contacted by the YM about this, which I find awful. I personally think this is very much the duty of the YM. Having worked on a few yards before, the YM was responsible for keeping the liveries/clients informed of the goings on with their horses.

Am I completely overreacting? I'm shocked I haven't been told by the person who runs the yard, and am now considering finding another yard. Is this normal? Am I being completely unfair? I have never had any issues with the yard before, in all the years I have been here I have never had a single complaint. If I were a difficult client who didn't pay on time, who constantly took issue, who constantly had worries and things to say I would understand more... but the fact is, I am a good client IMO. I pay by direct debit on time every single month, and I have never once had an issue to raise. I've never even voiced concern because honestly I have never felt like I've had any, bar the occasional internal eye roll at thinking how I would do xyz a bit differently with for arguments' sake, putting a headcollar away differently... but this has left me with a very bitter taste and I am considering finding another yard.

WWYD? Am I being totally insane?

 

[Christmascinnamoncookie]

I don’t think I’d necessarily expect to be told. No harm, no foul. What would be the point of telling you? You couldn’t have gone up anyway and the horse is fine, hopefully? I imagine I’d hear about it next time I was up or a comment on the yard Whatsapp, maybe.

 

[Roxylola]

Has the yard manager seen you since you've been back? If not I'd maybe consider they wanted to tell you in person. If they have but still haven't spoken to you about it I'd be a bit more concerned.
However, 1 freak incident in a long time at a yard I was otherwise happy with wouldnt make me want to move

 

[ester]

If I were a full livery I wouldn't expect to be informed that the problem had been rectified as I'd assume it had been, and if everyone was ok I'm not sure I'd expect to be contacted for it especially.

 

[PapaverFollis]

I can see why you would be upset but I also think that if you are very happy there generally it would be a bit hasty to move yards. They will have had probably very genuine and well-meaning reasons for not telling you immediately. Probably. I would talk to the yard manager and explain you are unhappy and see what they say before deciding to jump ship. Good livery is very hard to find.

 

[Pearlsacarolsinger]

I understand why you are cross but I do think you are over-reacting really. I do think that YM should have told you about the incident on our first visit to the yard after your quarantine.
As the horse was completely uninjured/no after-effects, I fully agree with them not telling you anything about it at the time. If I had been you, I would have wanted to go straight there and check that there really were no injuries but you wouldn't have been able to do. I think a calm conversation with YM, explaining that on balance you would rather be told about incidents even when you can't get there, will be sufficient, so long as precautions have been put in place to ensure that it can't happen again.

 

[Gruntled]

Has the yard manager seen you since you've been back? If not I'd maybe consider they wanted to tell you in person. If they have but still haven't spoken to you about it I'd be a bit more concerned.
However, 1 freak incident in a long time at a yard I was otherwise happy with wouldnt make me want to move

Yes, I've seen them a few times on the yard. Not a word other than the usual 'hello' etc.


I agree, and maybe I'm being silly, I'm just worried now it isn't a freak occurrence, that this has happened before and I haven't been told?

 

[Aperchristmas]

I can see justification for both courses of action that the YM could have taken. Telling you might have risked you breaking quarantine to see and check your horse (I'm not implying you would have done that btw), equally I think I would normally want to know. Roxylola makes a good point that they may have told you anyway but someone else got there first.

Unless this is one in a long line of issues and therefore the straw that breaks the camel's back, it's not something I would leave a yard over. I would simply say that if anything similar happens again, to please tell me asap.

 

[PurBee]

I can understand your annoyance, afterall we are very concerned about our animals when things go awry - yet i also see it from their point of view - they knew that telling you would cause stress, and moreso due to you being quarantined and not being able to leave home to do anything about it, or check on your horse.

Especially as the situation was handled, no horse injured, and everything very ok, i can understand them not wanting to concern you.

If this was a yard where youd already had a few niggles about and wasnt completely happy with, this incident would be the final nail in the coffin for me and id move. Its indicative of more hassle to come in the future and id rather quit now than invite what were already many warnings that things at the yard were not right.
But as youve stated you love it there, and there’s no issues at all in all the time youve been there, then id give them the benefit of the doubt, and even tho you still would prefer to be told no matter what of any incidents asap, i would forgive this time considering that they did control the situation well.

Id stay, but would speak to YO about always, no matter what, tell me if something awry happens to my horse. Reminding her her priority is my horse, not my feelings!

 

[PeterNatt]

I would suggest that the yard owner did not wish to cause you any additional stress at a time that you could have been unwell.

As regards the bridleway gate why don't they install a Self Closing Gate to avoid this happening again.

 

[Gruntled]

I don’t think I’d necessarily expect to be told. No harm, no foul. What would be the point of telling you? You couldn’t have gone up anyway and the horse is fine, hopefully? I imagine I’d hear about it next time I was up or a comment on the yard Whatsapp, maybe.

I would agree, but nothing has been communicated on the usual channels, and I haven't been told in person by the YM since at all?

I agree no harm, no foul, but I would have thought a YM would check in and say 'this happened, how silly, we are going to be more careful or consider looking into sealing the access in case' etc?

 

[PurBee]

Yes, I've seen them a few times on the yard. Not a word other than the usual 'hello' etc.


I agree, and maybe I'm being silly, I'm just worried now it isn't a freak occurrence, that this has happened before and I haven't been told?

enquire with YO how all the horses got loose. That would be my first concern...how could that possibly happen?

 

[meleeka]

I’d expect to be told. I’m not and never have been on full livery but as I see it, the horse is your property and you’ve a right to know what goes on when you aren’t there, especially when it concerned the safety of your horse. If it were me I’d wonder what else they weren’t saying. Would they bother telling you If your horse had colic and a gentle walk round had cured it?

However, I probably wouldn’t be too hasty to move yards at this stage, but I would be letting the YM know that you think it was wrong to withhold the information.

 

[Bernster]

I try to see the posotive in most situations so I’d have a chat with YM. I suspect they have what they think is a good reason. You can politely explain your view but I’d first want to understand their side of it. So many problems come down to communication and different perspectives. It doesn’t sound like this is a person who would necessarily be doing this for a negative reason.

 

[EmmaC78]

I think you are over-reacting. Just speak to the YO and say you are aware of what happened and would like to be made informed in future of any significant issues involving you horse.

 

[Lurfy]

Talk to the YM and ask to be informed next time if there is a next time.

 

[milliepops]

I totally see where you're coming from OP, for me the trust would be gone. Not because of the incident, as you say, things happen where horses are involved. But because of the... what else don't I know about...? aspect.

I don't think I'd be looking to move immediately if the care is generally good but I'd definitely try and explain to YM that you understand all is well that ends well, but that you were concerned that you hadn't been informed by the yard, and see what kind of reaction you get. If they are a bit apologetic and understand your pov, then that bodes well.

A friend of mine had a horse on full livery that escaped because YO's husband left the gates open. The horse went on a jolly down the main road and was finally found about 5 miles away on a farm. My friend knew nothing about it until a villager asked her how the horse was, when she was out riding several weeks later. I would have gone absolutely bananas if that happened to me... again not because it happened (though I'd expect some kind of action around checking gates at evening stables to be implemented) but because I'd expect the yard to be honest about an incident. Its a near-miss. Same yard never told owners about colics that resolved themselves etc, so they wouldn't worry, but again this just felt wrong to me.

 

[The Xmas Furry]

OP, hope head isn't too sore from vino last night ☺
Different but similar, when I go away and leave my fuzzies in someone's care, I don't expect to be contacted till I'm back. Whatever had happened, I've trusted them to deal with it and expect to be told on return. There is nothing I can do when not there.
Chat to YO and get the info as already advised above.

 

[dogatemysalad]

If you've been happy with the care and management of the yard for several years, I don't think it's worth moving because of a freak incident. I'm guessing that fencing and gates are well maintained, otherwise you'd have left long before.
Because no horses were injured and the situation was dealt with promptly, I think the YO was right not to inform you and add to your stress. There's always the danger that some liveries might want to come and check whilst self isolating, though I'm sure you wouldn't.
What matters now, is that the YO looks at the cause and takes measures to ensure that this doesn't happen again.

 

[Lipglosspukka]

I think you're overreacting.

 

[Annagain]

I think you're overreacting a bit. What could you have done had they told you? What can you do that hasn't already been done to stop it happening again? Telling you, especially while you were in quarantine, would just have caused stress that you couldn't do anything about. I sort of understand the "what else aren't they telling you" aspect but as a full livery you pay these people to take the stress for you. Your horse has come to no harm on this or any other occasion so if you're generally happy with with the yard and her care (I note you say the yard has been lovely until recently - are there other issues or is this the only one?) you have to accept that sometimes horses get themselves into scrapes that aren't anybody's fault and could happen anywhere.

 

[ihatework]

I understand your reaction and I’d be a bit similar (having my own minor control freak tendencies), but I do think you are over reacting considering leaving a yard you have otherwise been happy with over just this. Calm down and pick your moment to have a word with the YO and just let them know you weren’t happy and need them to communicate quicker & better with you about this type of incident in future.

 

[Supertrooper]

Regular poster under a different name just in case, I'm keeping things vague in case of recognition. I am also couple of glasses of wine in so bear with...

Hadn't realised how annoyed I was until today, where I am now thinking of moving yards tbh. I have my mare on full livery at this same yard for a number of years now, which I pay rather a lot for, and up until recently has been lovely

Over the past week, I was quarantining at home after potentially coming into contact with someone who had tested positive for COVID. I texted my YM immediately and explained, but as I hadn't been down at the stables since this contact which was 3 days prior, there was no risk of infecting anyone there. YM responded and said fine hope you stay well etc. I explained this is why I wouldn't be seen and just that this was the current situ.

Upon returning to the yard, around a week later (I'm losing track of days/when this was - I left it 2 days after my quarantine was up, to be on the safe side as the recent government advice has switched to 10 days instead of 14, and that unnerves me) I was told by someone at the yard that while I was away my horse and all the horses in their field had escaped. They said they didn't want to tell me and stress me out while I was stuck at home under quarantine, so didn't tell me and were told explicitly not to mention it until I returned. The yard is near some very major roads and motorways, and apparently the whole herd galloped up to near the fence which has an open gateway for bridle path access which feed to some of these roads.

This had happened a few days prior to my return to the yard - had it have been the day before, I would be less fussed as it's still being told soon after the event. I was not rung by the YM who was there at the time, or at all. I heard simply by talking to the right person at the right time.

While I know it was a freak occurrence, and all the horses were fine - I still expect to be told about this as a full livery, as soon as possible after his has happened? I would expect the YM to ring me and explain what happened but that it was all okay, they were fixing the fence/gate and were going to look into a way to make the bridle path access safe in case this happened in the future? This access joins directly onto a major road, with an open gap to get onto the path. I know horses can be silly and escape, I'm not happy with that, but I completely understand that animals can escape through jumping through or damaging fencing etc. It happens, it's sadly a part of owning animals with a mind of their own, and at the end of the day they were all safe and I wouldn't blame the yard for what happened, unless it was wilful ignorance of someone leaving the field gate open etc.,... - I am appalled at the fact the YM, or no member of staff rang me even though they were all present for the occurrence. At no point have I even been contacted by the YM about this, which I find awful. I personally think this is very much the duty of the YM. Having worked on a few yards before, the YM was responsible for keeping the liveries/clients informed of the goings on with their horses.

Am I completely overreacting? I'm shocked I haven't been told by the person who runs the yard, and am now considering finding another yard. Is this normal? Am I being completely unfair? I have never had any issues with the yard before, in all the years I have been here I have never had a single complaint. If I were a difficult client who didn't pay on time, who constantly took issue, who constantly had worries and things to say I would understand more... but the fact is, I am a good client IMO. I pay by direct debit on time every single month, and I have never once had an issue to raise. I've never even voiced concern because honestly I have never felt like I've had any, bar the occasional internal eye roll at thinking how I would do xyz a bit differently with for arguments' sake, putting a headcollar away differently... but this has left me with a very bitter taste and I am considering finding another yard.

WWYD? Am I being totally insane?

This happened to me last year, I’d already sadly decided to return my pony to the charity I’d rehomed him from but then I found out by someone slipping it into a conversation that the horses including mine had all got out on road four days previously

I can totally understand why you are cross, I was. I sort of get perhaps why they were trying to protect you but to me it’s my horse and therefore I want to know what’s gone on/going on at all times

In my case it rushed my boy going back to charity as neither myself or they felt it was safe for him to remain there any longer

 

[Supertrooper]

I’d speak to the yard owner and say in future you’d just rather be told, even if it’s something that may worry you

 

[Flicker]

I don’t think you are over reacting as such. But do bear in mind that you have likely had a stressful couple of weeks and your resilience is probably lower than it normally would be.

I would expect to be told about something like the event you describe, but possibly not while I was in the thick of quarantine. Definitely afterwards though, when I was back on the yard.

Perhaps have a quiet word with YM, thank her for thinking of keeping your stress levels down and ask her in future to please keep you updated if anything similar happens again?

 

[Muddywellies]

I can see why you're upset. But if you're happy there, I wouldnt be looking to leave. I can also understand why the YM didn't tell you. What could you have done? They sorted it and no harm was done - there was no point in worrying you. If you're upset, maybe have a quiet word with YM but keep it positive and explain how you are very happy there but would if possible like to be informed if things like that happen.

 

[QueenBella]

I don't really think you're over-reacting OP.

I had a similar problem just before I took my girl out for her Christmas break. I'm on full livery and have been there for a number of years now. I got a call during the year that the vet had to stitch her up cause she cut herself on her leg, thanked them for ringing me and said horses are horses. Only to find out from one of the other liveries on the yard just before I left that my horse was in fact stabbed by one of the foreign exchange students on the yard with the hay fork!! Never once was this said to me by any of the managers on the yard and I was left with a horse, who for a few weeks would not let me anywhere near her leg and me left puzzled.

Has turned me off even going back to the yard but its the only decent yard near me. I can get over the fact that she was injured, what happened happened, but its the fact that no one on the yard bothered to let me know. It's my horse and I like to know if anything has happened to her!

 

[LegOn]

I dont think you are over-reacting either - maybe about moving, I would be having a chat with everyone first before going down that road!

My horse likes to dig up his bed when he is bored - YO always tells me just incase there is something wrong, but its usually at times when the weather is bad and his workload is less so it makes sense & we keep an eye and talk about it so we can see if there is a pattern!

I know nothing happened and everyone was fine but its better to hear about it from the management than from other liveries or members of the public! I do appreciate that they didnt tell you at the time because of your situation but I think a good compromise would have been to call you before your return to the yard or to seek you out at the earliest they could when you arrived at the yard at just tell you the story!

I think I would be going in a bit breezier than you feel at the moment if I said to the YO - I would start with a 'Jesus I hear there was mass exodus from the field and the horses had a mini vacation down the road!' or something equally silly and just breezy! And then when they explain why they didnt tell you & hopefully just a bit of an explanation in general, I would just add in - 'well thats great no one was hurt and your fixing the fences etc and I really appreciate you taking into the account my situation but feel free to give me a shout at any stage when I was due back or after the fact, just to keep me in the loop!! I was a bit on the back foot hearing from the other liveries & was like woah hope everyone was ok!!!'

If they dont go on the defensive and neither do you - you can very amicably explain that personally you would prefer to be told by the management - I dont think its alot to ask as a full livery! We would love to look after our horses and be there every minute of the day but we cant for numerous reasons so its nice to hear the update from your yard on what they are up to! That was the reason I moved from a bigger yard back to a much smaller yard - my YO gives me a full rundown of what my boy was up to - whether he was running around with his mates or had a big snooze for most of the day! Its just nice to hear!! Most days I get some photos and videos - its lovely, I love my yard!!

 

[Dasher66]

Who told you - and why? Were they stirring or exaggerating? It would be worth asking YM what happened and asking to be told of such events.
I wouldnt move the horse if otherwise happy with the yard; stuff happens with horses, all you can hope for is that people cope and the horses are not hurt.

 

[Ample Prosecco]

I would suggest that the yard owner did not wish to cause you any additional stress at a time that you could have been unwell.

This. I get that you would have preferred to have been told but I can also see why the YO did not tell you. She may have felt that there was no harm done, the issue was solved and you may have been unwell/anxious abut other stuff and did not need to be bothered with it.

So in my view a proportionate response is just to say that in future you would like to know of any incidents immediately. I certainly would not leave. YO's aren't mind readers and liveries want different levels of communication from them. I can see why you are upset but I think it was simply the YO mis-judging what was the best thing for you, and not a sign of neglect or not keeping you properly informed.