Bullying instructors

[laura_nash]

Criticism imo can only be constructive when you know the person knows what they should be doing and that the horse has the correct foundation and fitness to do what is being asked.
But were being trained. So let's do basics I can say your riding position is awful you look like your shagging a pig and your horse is on the forehand.
Or you can say. Right so can you feel where your sitting ? Can you feel that your tipping forward, this is making your horse hollow and putting extra weight on his front, this makes him unbalanced so he puts his head up and runs even faster, this makes you nervous and lean more forward.
So takes rider and gently pushes her into the correct position, tells her to breath, if mirrors show in them or if sunny use your shadow and so on. Then get them walking and halting ask rider to talk through what they are feeling and thinking and ellie them to learn the feel and corrections. Just shouting instructions us not teaching x

I've had a few excellent instructors over the years but only one that would really fit your description above, on a 4 day clinic only not regular lessons, and he isn't a BHS instructor or trained sports coach but does have qualifications in (non-equine) adult education (Adam Goodfellow).

 

[Gloi]

And - you are all wimps.
There used to be a Scottish instructor (and BHS examiner no less) who was (in)famous for lobbing half bricks at riders she felt were not listening.

As a kid in the sixties I had a few lessons at a place where the instructor was a dab hand with a lunge whip. If the ponies were lazy they got a flick with it, if the riders didn't do as asked they got one.

 

[J&S]

I can’t practise in between as I don’t have an arena

When I was having specific dressage lessons I did not have an arena. I did all my riding on the open forest or, in Devon, in open fields when available.

 

[onemoretime]

Any trainer (in any walk of life, not just riding) who needs to resort to bullying and belittling of their customers does so for two reasons:
1 The trainer has an ego and control problem, and constantly needs to reinforce their own opinion of themself that they are the best, so basically what they really have is an insecurity issue. They need to control others in order to tell themselves they are ok.
2 Belittling and bullying serve to reduce the customer's self-belief and self-confidence. This makes the customer feel utterly useless. The idea being that as the customer is so useless, they will desperately want to improve so they will hang on every word the trainer says, will book every course that trainer offers, buy every piece of equipment that trainer recommends and sells, etc. They become dependent upon the trainer through being bullied and intimidated and belittled by the trainer.
Put a trainer of the above personality type with a customer who is susceptible to such methods, and you have a very dependent relationship between the two upon each other, not a healthy relationship but very possibly a long-lasting one (and financially good for the trainer too).

Personally I've always walked away from any trainer who's tried those tactics on me.

This is so true Suechoccy and really sums up the trainer/BD judge that I have described in my post. She is the one with the problem not my horse.

 

[MereChristmas]

When I was having specific dressage lessons I did not have an arena. I did all my riding on the open forest or, in Devon, in open fields when available.

With apologies, I have tarmac lanes and forestry rides all of which are on Marches hills. I do the best I can.

 

[Sail_away]

Strict instructors are still around ? I started riding properly at nine, had a short while with the nice beginner instructor and then spent most of my lessons at that place with a very good, very strict instructor who tore us all to pieces. I’m quite sure she hated teaching us and to be fair to her she was a very good rider and could have well thought she was above teaching little kids! But actually you learned to tune out the bad and listen to the teaching which did give me a great foundation as she didn’t allow any bad habits at all.
Since then my own instructors have been much more progressive but really I don’t mind an old school instructor. Quite happy to be shouted at and told I’m doing a terrible job as long as there’s a constructive way out of being terrible explained!
I can’t stand instructors who don’t like your horse though. There’s been a couple who have been lukewarm about my one which isn’t really fair to him, he’s a hard worker and he tries his best. And I think when an instructor isn’t interested in your horse they don’t have as much motivation to make you do well - they don’t think the horse is good, so they don’t try and make you as a combination better. It will be very interesting to see how instructors respond to my new one who is quite different, bags of ability but a little overconfident in herself.

 

[scats]

It’s shocking to hear so many of these instructors exist! I think I’ve just been very lucky over the years.
I started training with someone new last year. She is brilliant and I thoroughly enjoy my lessons. It’s just the right amount of pushing us but not overwhelming us. She has total belief in Millie and as a result has made me believe in Millie more too. She has inspired me to be better and work harder, but there is a bit of humour injected into everything (if you know me, you’ll realise that’s important!) that it doesn’t feel like a slog, and I feel I can ask her questions if I don’t understand something. I feel very lucky to have found someone like that and I’m itching to get back to some lessons once lockdown is over.
Even my mum and dad, who aren’t particularly horsey, but always interested and enjoy tagging along to things, enjoy watching the lessons and they understand what we are thing to achieve.

 

[Flicker]

With my L&D hat on, I will offer a few thoughts on the principles behind what makes a good coach and what makes a bad one:

Feedback v criticism - good coaches will identify what needs to be improved and tell you or show you how to achieve that. Bad coaches will tell you what you are doing wrong but offer no solution (this may be because they don’t know). Personal criticism of you or your horse is included in this.

Learning styles - people assimilate information in different ways. A good coach will recognise that some riders may learn by doing, others may find it easier to watch someone else first, while others may need to have a technique explained verbally first. And they will adapt their style accordingly. A poor coach will adopt their own preferred style and expect their clients to adapt to this.

Empathy - a good coach appreciates that the very process of learning makes us vulnerable because there is the potential to make a mistake as part of the learning process. They will therefore approach the situation with empathy to set up the most positive environment for this learning process to take place (the example of the XC instructor calming the pair down with circle exercises, resulting in a real breakthrough for them over fences later is a lovely illustration of this principle). A poor trainer will lack the understanding of this and approach the encounter from a position of ‘well I can do it, so I don’t understand why you can’t).

Supportive challenge - a good coach sometimes has to challenge preconceived ideas or bad habits. Sometimes this may need to involve quite honest exchanges. I used to have lessons with a German trainer who was very honest, but in an extremely supportive way. However, another livery had a lesson with her and was furious because the trainer told her that both she and her horse were not fit enough to undertake the activities she wanted to be trained in. This was absolutely correct - the horse was obese and bad mannered and the rider completely ineffectual. It would have been dangerous for the instructor to have progress with the lesson that the rider wanted.

Coaching and training is a skill in itself. It is not simply sufficient to be good at something to set yourself up as a trainer. There is a host of other considerations to be aware of to allow the transfer of that information to another person in an effective way. Unfortunately this seems to be slow to take root in the equestrian environment, to the detriment of horse and rider welfare as evidenced from people’s experiences.

 

[canteron]

It’s an interesting question how much respect you pay your trainer.
Trying not to fall out with mine, just manage her, as she has good qualities and does point out lots of things I wouldnt notice, but also has rather messed up one of my horses, is extremely good at spending my money and is rather gossipy. However, there aren’t many other trainers around and she does genuinely want the horses to be happy as well as perform.

 

[milliepops]

It’s an interesting question how much respect you pay your trainer.
Trying not to fall out with mine, just manage her, as she has good qualities and does point out lots of things I wouldnt notice, but also has rather messed up one of my horses, is extremely good at spending my money and is rather gossipy. However, there aren’t many other trainers around and she does genuinely want the horses to be happy as well as perform.

i honestly can't imagine going for training with someone I didn't respect. I understand some areas aren't awash with options and the dense horsiness is one of the most appealing things about the county I live in, to me. but I have to really buy into someone to want long term training off them and that means a pretty big dose of professional respect.