I agree it's always worse before , the bit from the decision to the day is really hard . The moment when it's enters your head 'that's it then the end game 'is hideous .
OK...so, treading carefully here and also playing devils advocate...if you choose in this circumstance to stay with your horse, why not in the planned scenario? (Not picking at you personally EquineDream) but just trying to ascertain if adrenaline is the key differentiator? Also, if people (generalising here!) can/are prepared to stay with their horse in one circumstance then why not in another?
I am not following your reasoning. I happened to be there when my horse dropped dead and would prefer not to have been. It hasn't affected my decision not to be there for planned deaths.
