Cheeky/ridiculous posts you see on Facebook.

[JBM]

This one just got me!


For full loan
To stay at current yard
Two youngsters, will be 3 this year and a Shetland pony
Both around 14hh (the flaxen chestnut is 15’2 for comparison)
Toby (the coloured) is a dope on a rope to handle and groom. Loves snoozing on your shoulder and hugs. Can be a bit strong when led out as isn’t keen on leaving his friends. He will be a chunk when fully grown so nice to ride.
Hunter Ben (the Bay) is very clever and loves hugs. Easy to handle but can test his boundaries sometimes, however he backs down when asked to. He is more forward being led out than Toby and will be a fun ride when he is fully backed.
Jemima Puddleduck is my little Shetland who is easy to handle and groom, safe around anyone.
Youngsters need experienced handlers and would prefer someone to take on both. £100 a month plus hay, feed, farrier, vet and dentist
Shetland is. £50 a month plus farrier, vet and dentist

So basically you want someone to pay monthly for the privilege of looking after your yet rideable horses, cover the hay, vet fees,farrier etc and break them in for for you. Jesus christ

What on earth are some people smoking

 

[Esmae]

What on earth are some people smoking

Their shoes!!

 

[kathantoinette]

Must offer payment plan

Are you kidding?

 

[shortstuff99]

This one just got me!


For full loan
To stay at current yard
Two youngsters, will be 3 this year and a Shetland pony
Both around 14hh (the flaxen chestnut is 15’2 for comparison)
Toby (the coloured) is a dope on a rope to handle and groom. Loves snoozing on your shoulder and hugs. Can be a bit strong when led out as isn’t keen on leaving his friends. He will be a chunk when fully grown so nice to ride.
Hunter Ben (the Bay) is very clever and loves hugs. Easy to handle but can test his boundaries sometimes, however he backs down when asked to. He is more forward being led out than Toby and will be a fun ride when he is fully backed.
Jemima Puddleduck is my little Shetland who is easy to handle and groom, safe around anyone.
Youngsters need experienced handlers and would prefer someone to take on both. £100 a month plus hay, feed, farrier, vet and dentist
Shetland is. £50 a month plus farrier, vet and dentist

So basically you want someone to pay monthly for the privilege of looking after your yet rideable horses, cover the hay, vet fees,farrier etc and break them in for for you. Jesus christ

I've just seen this on my local page

 

[Timelyattraction]

I've just seen this on my local page

We must be in the same group i cant believe noone has said anything tbh! Normally people voice their opinions on there

 

[shortstuff99]

We must be in the same group i cant believe noone has said anything tbh! Normally people voice their opinions on there

Everyone must be shocked into silence!

 

[FinnishLapphund]

This one just got me!


For full loan
To stay at current yard
Two youngsters, will be 3 this year and a Shetland pony
Both around 14hh (the flaxen chestnut is 15’2 for comparison)
Toby (the coloured) is a dope on a rope to handle and groom. Loves snoozing on your shoulder and hugs. Can be a bit strong when led out as isn’t keen on leaving his friends. He will be a chunk when fully grown so nice to ride.
Hunter Ben (the Bay) is very clever and loves hugs. Easy to handle but can test his boundaries sometimes, however he backs down when asked to. He is more forward being led out than Toby and will be a fun ride when he is fully backed.
Jemima Puddleduck is my little Shetland who is easy to handle and groom, safe around anyone.
Youngsters need experienced handlers and would prefer someone to take on both. £100 a month plus hay, feed, farrier, vet and dentist
Shetland is. £50 a month plus farrier, vet and dentist

So basically you want someone to pay monthly for the privilege of looking after your yet rideable horses, cover the hay, vet fees,farrier etc and break them in for for you. Jesus christ

Are you sure you copied the whole advert? You didn't by any chance miss a last line talking about how when the loan ends you're expected to wrap each one of them up in 24 Karat gold ribbons (paid by yourself of course) before you leave?

 

[ester]

If you search their name on the group you will find out that they are also apparently running a sanctuary/not for profit as they wanted lots of stuff for free. . .

 

[Fjord]

We must be in the same group i cant believe noone has said anything tbh! Normally people voice their opinions on there

I've just seen it too, I was surprised there were no comments!

 

[blitznbobs]

This popped up today any unicorns going cheap?

Apparently no one wants my , which I guess is fine for my financial stability but its terrible for my mental stability and my poor fiancé could use a break. ***Read full ad***

My day is free tomorrow (Saturday), I will travel ANYWHERE in Ireland or Northern Ireland to try your horse tomorrow. Must be able to fit a 6ft rider.

ISO a SAFE and as bombproof as possible horse. No exceptions!! Horse won't be in constant work and NEEDS to be able to come out the same every time! I’ve already got a riding related concussion this year… I would prefer not to get another

The amount of horses I have traveled hours to see, all for them to wind up having health issues or needing to be lunged before being ridden every day in order for them to be bombproof when I was told otherwise is ridiculous. I want to spend my money on a horse, not diesel! Please let me pay for you to go on holiday and not line the pockets of diesel companies!

You wouldn’t want a red flag relationship and neither do I. Please, please, please, don’t send me on a wild goose chase. I am a current vet student and have been in the veterinary field for over 10 years as well as the equine field for 25 years. I will know if your horse is lame, drugged, or has health issues. I am an experienced rider and will be able to put the pieces together as to why your horse only picks up one lead or why they are fighting the bit, please just be up front. I do not mind certain issues, but I want to be made aware of them even if they are old injuries or old training habits. Age doesn't matter so I don't mind the oldies or maintenance.

I know I'm looking for a unicorn , but overall, I'm wanting to do bit of jumping, hacking, and teaching my fiancé how to ride. He has only trekked with me twice and cannot even properly trot yet, so please let’s not send him to the hospital. I am searching for something that isn't dead to the leg and has some buttons I can turn on for me that also has the ability to turn off those buttons and teach a dead beginner for my fiancé.

I know your horse is worth every penny and I want to give you every penny that they are worth, but being a student, my budget is low to mid four figures. However, what I lack in my pocket, I make up for in a home. I am a major coddler, so your horse will want for nothing and will have its own unicorn home that awaits!! PLEASE take my !! (But please don’t scam me for it)

 

[JBM]

This popped up today any unicorns going cheap?

Apparently no one wants my , which I guess is fine for my financial stability but its terrible for my mental stability and my poor fiancé could use a break. ***Read full ad***

My day is free tomorrow (Saturday), I will travel ANYWHERE in Ireland or Northern Ireland to try your horse tomorrow. Must be able to fit a 6ft rider.

ISO a SAFE and as bombproof as possible horse. No exceptions!! Horse won't be in constant work and NEEDS to be able to come out the same every time! I’ve already got a riding related concussion this year… I would prefer not to get another

The amount of horses I have traveled hours to see, all for them to wind up having health issues or needing to be lunged before being ridden every day in order for them to be bombproof when I was told otherwise is ridiculous. I want to spend my money on a horse, not diesel! Please let me pay for you to go on holiday 🏖 and not line the pockets of diesel companies!

You wouldn’t want a red flag relationship and neither do I. Please, please, please, don’t send me on a wild goose chase. I am a current vet student and have been in the veterinary field for over 10 years as well as the equine field for 25 years. I will know if your horse is lame, drugged, or has health issues. I am an experienced rider and will be able to put the pieces together as to why your horse only picks up one lead or why they are fighting the bit, please just be up front. I do not mind certain issues, but I want to be made aware of them even if they are old injuries or old training habits. Age doesn't matter so I don't mind the oldies or maintenance.

I know I'm looking for a unicorn , but overall, I'm wanting to do bit of jumping, hacking, and teaching my fiancé how to ride. He has only trekked with me twice and cannot even properly trot yet, so please let’s not send him to the hospital. ☠ I am searching for something that isn't dead to the leg and has some buttons I can turn on for me that also has the ability to turn off those buttons and teach a dead beginner for my fiancé.

I know your horse is worth every penny and I want to give you every penny that they are worth, but being a student, my budget is low to mid four figures. However, what I lack in my pocket, I make up for in a home. I am a major coddler, so your horse will want for nothing and will have its own unicorn home that awaits!! PLEASE take my !! (But please don’t scam me for it)

I saw this. Genuinely don’t think the type of horse she wants exists more of a robot. Her fiancée needs a riding school

 

[blitznbobs]

I saw this. Genuinely don’t think the type of horse she wants exists more of a robot. Her fiancée needs a riding school

If it did exist I wouldn’t let it go sub 5k its almost priceless tbh

 

[Fieldlife]

If it did exist I wouldn’t let it go sub 5k its almost priceless tbh

Maybe an older horse looking for a quieter life, or a horse requiring 6 monthly hock injections?

 

[Sleipnir]

To be frank, my 17yo gelding fits her description to a T, however he's 1) not even remotely close to Ireland and 2) not for sale for obvious reasons.

 

[Goldie's mum]

Her fiancée needs a riding school

He needs an undertaker. It says he's dead.

 

[Peglo]

He needs an undertaker. It says he's dead.

had to read through the advert again to check this and it didn’t disappoint when I read it.

 

[ponynutz]

Idk if I had that kind of unicorn I wouldn’t be replying fast lest I be deemed a scammer

 

[Goldie's mum]

Anyone fancy a job naked manure shovelling?

**LOOKING FOR SOMETHING DIFFERENT ?? Job opportunity ...primarily making manure fuel bricks.

Ideal candidate would be hard working, great sense of humour, fellow naturist !

Rates of pay according to experience

 

[toppedoff]

12hh for a project share
To be backed by sharer since they can't do it as of being too tall for it
Must be long term
Yard chores is a must
Financial contribution is required (Believe they were asking 10 a day but you could only do a MINIMUM of 3 days.. so take that you will lol)
But that's fine because "generous return, I will take you in the trailer to do showing or local rides and hires"

 

[ester]

He needs an undertaker. It says he's dead.

totally missed that, brilliant

 

[Widgeon]

Maybe an older horse looking for a quieter life, or a horse requiring 6 monthly hock injections?

I was thinking the same. It sounds like she doesn't mind an older horse with minor health issues. I don't think she's being unreasonable tbh.

 

[toppedoff]

I can't be the only one who gets sad seeing old horses for sale? Just had a 27Yo thoroughbred pop up on mine, low four figures. They are looking for a soft landing for him.. dunno what that means!

 

[Quigleyandme]

That is very sad. I do understand that times are tough and PTS and disposal are expensive and the horse may be very well in himself and enjoying life so that isn’t being considered by his owners but I wouldn’t ask or pay €1000 plus for a horse that age. I hope they are trying to put off the meat man and chancers and genuine enquirers won’t be asked to pay anything like that. Poor old thing. I really hope he has a very soft landing.

 

[conniegirl]

I wouldn’t ask or pay €1000 plus for a horse that age. I hope they are trying to put off the meat man

I wouldnt for a horse if that age either. A leadrein saint maybe but not a horse

 

[Barton Bounty]

He needs an undertaker. It says he's dead.

He probably doesnt exist

 

[Fjord]

Large selection of horsey magazines offered for free on my local FB group, collection only. 2 people asking that they be delivered to somewhere 30 miles away...

 

[FinnishLapphund]

Large selection of horsey magazines offered for free on my local FB group, collection only. 2 people asking that they be delivered to somewhere 30 miles away...

Reading the first sentence I kept thinking why is this mentioned on this thread, that's a bargain. Then came the second sentence like a smack in the face, and I was quickly reminded about the existence of persons whose eyes sees the words Collection Only, but their brains reads Home Delivery Available.

 

[Goldie's mum]

Reading the first sentence I kept thinking why is this mentioned on this thread, that's a bargain. Then came the second sentence like a smack in the face, and I was quickly reminded about the existence of persons whose eyes sees the words Collection Only, but their brains reads Home Delivery Available.

People don't read adverts.

There's one at the moment along the lines of "Honest advert: bought this mare for our riding school but she isn't suitable because she's green and sharp: sold from the field as a project."
...
and the first comment is "I'm a novice. Would she be suitable for me?

 

[toppedoff]

People don't read adverts.

There's one at the moment along the lines of "Honest advert: bought this mare for our riding school but she isn't suitable because she's green and sharp: sold from the field as a project."
...
and the first comment is "I'm a novice. Would she be suitable for me?

Don't forget the
"Livery yard vacancy at -Insert postcode" usually at the bottom which is fair enough

Always a comment of "Hi postcode pls"

 

[Keith_Beef]

Don't forget the
"Livery yard vacancy at -Insert postcode" usually at the bottom which is fair enough

Always a comment of "Hi postcode pls"

Flipwits who will neither read not take the time to write correctly would annoy me.

Faced with a comment like "Hi postcode pls", I'd hesitate between simply ignoring it or replying "sintad".