Cheeky/ridiculous posts you see on Facebook.

[ycbm]

**STAY ON PRESENT YARD PROJECT TO BREAK IN AND TO LEAD INTO PART LOAN**
FREE

Bramble is 11.1hh and still bum high. He is a welsh X shetland, bramble is 3 and a half years old coming up 4 in may. He lives in and out as he's going out in the field soon and comes in for the winter. I have brought him up since he was born. He is unbroken and i am wanting an experience adult to come and help me to break him in. I havent had the time to bring him on as i dont want to waste him and needs all the attention he can get. Bramble is a sweet, lovely natured pony when you get to know him and when he gets to know you. He catches perfectly, picks up all 4 feet for farrier, he is halter broken and has had a bit in his mouth before and took it nicely but wasnt for long. He is good to walk when you have full control over him as he is strong and will trick people. He is strong while walking on roads and will get excited but will calm down eventually. But he hasnt got a bad bone in his body, he is good with dogs etc but does spook now and then. He does bronk etc when he knows when to come in and while in the paddock but wont purposely kick you. Bramble is full of energy and he should calm down and be more relaxed when he starts to get exercised. He will make a good pony when he gets sorted.

**Haven't got the time as I'm starting a new job soon and college at same time as I don't want to sell him**

More information inbox me and will agree on things.
*** OVER 18'S ONLY WITH LOADS OF EXPERIENCE***

(Part loan - 2/3 days £15 a week)

Really???

My inner babelfish read:

I have a little **** of a Shetland/Welsh cross who has got the better of me and has to be beaten or bribed into doing what he's told. He's a nightmare to lead anywhere and I'm completely out of my depth. Please come and train me and my pony, and pay me for the privilege.

 

[Vodkagirly]

My inner babelfish read:

I have a little **** of a Shetland/Welsh cross who has got the better of me and has to be beaten or bribed into doing what he's told. He's a nightmare to lead anywhere and I'm completely out of my depth. Please come and train me and my pony, and pay me for the privilege.

If you are that rare adult who is small enough to ride a 11 h, capable of backing a spoilt pony and stupid enough to pay for the privilege.

 

[Crugeran Celt]

**STAY ON PRESENT YARD PROJECT TO BREAK IN AND TO LEAD INTO PART LOAN**
FREE

Bramble is 11.1hh and still bum high. He is a welsh X shetland, bramble is 3 and a half years old coming up 4 in may. He lives in and out as he's going out in the field soon and comes in for the winter. I have brought him up since he was born. He is unbroken and i am wanting an experience adult to come and help me to break him in. I havent had the time to bring him on as i dont want to waste him and needs all the attention he can get. Bramble is a sweet, lovely natured pony when you get to know him and when he gets to know you. He catches perfectly, picks up all 4 feet for farrier, he is halter broken and has had a bit in his mouth before and took it nicely but wasnt for long. He is good to walk when you have full control over him as he is strong and will trick people. He is strong while walking on roads and will get excited but will calm down eventually. But he hasnt got a bad bone in his body, he is good with dogs etc but does spook now and then. He does bronk etc when he knows when to come in and while in the paddock but wont purposely kick you. Bramble is full of energy and he should calm down and be more relaxed when he starts to get exercised. He will make a good pony when he gets sorted.

**Haven't got the time as I'm starting a new job soon and college at same time as I don't want to sell him**

More information inbox me and will agree on things.
*** OVER 18'S ONLY WITH LOADS OF EXPERIENCE***

(Part loan - 2/3 days £15 a week)

Really???

Unbelievable! I have looked for a rider for my cob who is basically a good little horse with the usual sect d quirks but is safe and great in traffic with no financial contribution, just someone who wants to ride as much or as little as they wish and failed to find anyone unyet adverts like this have responses.

 

[twiggy2]

I replied to an add that was looking for an experienced rider to part loan a mare, ride 2 or 3 times per week, mare has been out of work for some months, unfit, novice mare.
I replied saying u was interested, could supply references, etc etc and said no money was mentioned in post, she wants someone to pay £40 to bring her horse back into work.
I am happy to put the effort in to get something going and have the experience to do solutions another paying to do it!

 

[iiFawnieii]

I saw one on Preloved recently that made me both, dying of laughter and worried for the horse that goes to them:
"RIDE AND DRIVE FYORD WANTED

I am lookin for a 3-5 year old Fyord (pureblooded) for sale in the Bedforshire area. It must be 110% bombproof have no vicess and be broke and confident being ridden and driveien" *Seriously "driveien"?!?!?!* "He must be 14-14.2hh tall and I am only interested in stallions as they are probbly the calmest fit for me as Mayors are moody and Geldins unatural.He must come wif a hors starter set (feed buckets, haybags and water troughs and more) He will also need to com wif a FITTED saddle girf and halter as well as a harniss and a new or barely used cart.I am a professinil rider so he must be good in drissage and jumpin. The sella must be willin to com down evryday to help me poopick and stuff and you can even have a ride once a munth to say thanx. My price rage is probably from £1-300 as I all of us eqestrins now that home is far more importont than sale pric. NO TIME WATERS JOY RIDDERS OR DAY TRIPERS PLEASE!"

This Ad was deleted a day after posting, *I wonder why xD* but I got a screenshot before this glorious piece of art left the Earth so I thought I would share it

 

[iiFawnieii]

NO TIME WATERS JOY RIDDERS OR DAY TRIPERS PLEASE!"

I have no idea whatsoever why this bit was added on bahahahah xD

 

[horselady]

I saw one on Preloved recently that made me both, dying of laughter and worried for the horse that goes to them:
"RIDE AND DRIVE FYORD WANTED

I am lookin for a 3-5 year old Fyord (pureblooded) for sale in the Bedforshire area. It must be 110% bombproof have no vicess and be broke and confident being ridden and driveien" *Seriously "driveien"?!?!?!* "He must be 14-14.2hh tall and I am only interested in stallions as they are probbly the calmest fit for me as Mayors are moody and Geldins unatural.He must come wif a hors starter set (feed buckets, haybags and water troughs and more) He will also need to com wif a FITTED saddle girf and halter as well as a harniss and a new or barely used cart.I am a professinil rider so he must be good in drissage and jumpin. The sella must be willin to com down evryday to help me poopick and stuff and you can even have a ride once a munth to say thanx. My price rage is probably from £1-300 as I all of us eqestrins now that home is far more importont than sale pric. NO TIME WATERS JOY RIDDERS OR DAY TRIPERS PLEASE!"

This Ad was deleted a day after posting, *I wonder why xD* but I got a screenshot before this glorious piece of art left the Earth so I thought I would share it

I am both amused and deeply concerned.

 

[Meowy Catkin]

Wowzers... that's some ad.

 

[Vodkagirly]

I saw one on Preloved recently that made me both, dying of laughter and worried for the horse that goes to them:
"RIDE AND DRIVE FYORD WANTED

I am lookin for a 3-5 year old Fyord (pureblooded) for sale in the Bedforshire area. It must be 110% bombproof have no vicess and be broke and confident being ridden and driveien" *Seriously "driveien"?!?!?!* "He must be 14-14.2hh tall and I am only interested in stallions as they are probbly the calmest fit for me as Mayors are moody and Geldins unatural.He must come wif a hors starter set (feed buckets, haybags and water troughs and more) He will also need to com wif a FITTED saddle girf and halter as well as a harniss and a new or barely used cart.I am a professinil rider so he must be good in drissage and jumpin. The sella must be willin to com down evryday to help me poopick and stuff and you can even have a ride once a munth to say thanx. My price rage is probably from £1-300 as I all of us eqestrins now that home is far more importont than sale pric. NO TIME WATERS JOY RIDDERS OR DAY TRIPERS PLEASE!"

This Ad was deleted a day after posting, *I wonder why xD* but I got a screenshot before this glorious piece of art left the Earth so I thought I would share it

Omg on so many levels. Do you think the ad was taken down as they found what they were looking for?

 

[ycbm]

Omg on so many levels. Do you think the ad was taken down as they found what they were looking for?

It was a good troll post. Gave me a laugh.

Check out the posters thread on whether to sell her pony, hilarious

 

[holeymoley]

That's hilarious . Surely it must be someone having a laugh ��

 

[Annagain]

"I can't find a spayed mare anywhere! Do you think it will be safe to keep an unspayed one with my stallion if she has a tail flap on her rug?"
The mind really does boggle.

My friend ended up with a bogof. She bought a very well bred, 4yr old, unbroken mare from a very reputable (god knows how) breeder. 6 months later it was obvious she was in foal. When my friend contacted the sellers they told her the stallion (luckily also well bred) had got into her field once but they thought she'd be ok as she had a rug with a tail flap on!

 

[Frumpoon]

We have more of the same
- lifts wanted, will pay fuel money
- horse can't be ridden anymore so looking for its 'forever home'
- usually same person then wanting competition horse on loan
- a new one is the seller can't afford a saddle plus the mare bolted with her last time she rode it so it is sold from the field......

 

[glamourpuss]

Great one last night:
Wanted a 3.5 or 7.5 ton horsebox to borrow on the 24th April.
Lots of people have responded with links to horsebox hire places, the response:
'I don't want to hire it's for a dressage competition just 10 minutes down the road & hiring is too expensive for that'

So that's ok then, someone will just hand over their lorry that they have bought, maintained, taxed, insured & plated for free 🙄

 

[Sheep]

Just saw a post on facebook, cant copy the text but the general gist was that they were looking for:
Gelding
Age 5 - 10
No vices
No greenness or quirks
Jumping schoolmaster
Nothing heavy / hunter / cob
Good to shoe, clip, travel & with other horses
Colour wise dun / palomino / grey / fleabitten / appaloosa / "black beauty type"
Search area is only Northern Ireland (tiny place). Budget £1500!!

Edited to add, their wishlist is reasonable but the money is insane!

 

[meleeka]

Great one last night:
Wanted a 3.5 or 7.5 ton horsebox to borrow on the 24th April.
Lots of people have responded with links to horsebox hire places, the response:
'I don't want to hire it's for a dressage competition just 10 minutes down the road & hiring is too expensive for that'

So that's ok then, someone will just hand over their lorry that they have bought, maintained, taxed, insured & plated for free 🙄

I saw that too.

 

[miss_c]

I saw one on Preloved recently that made me both, dying of laughter and worried for the horse that goes to them:
"RIDE AND DRIVE FYORD WANTED

I am lookin for a 3-5 year old Fyord (pureblooded) for sale in the Bedforshire area. It must be 110% bombproof have no vicess and be broke and confident being ridden and driveien" *Seriously "driveien"?!?!?!* "He must be 14-14.2hh tall and I am only interested in stallions as they are probbly the calmest fit for me as Mayors are moody and Geldins unatural.He must come wif a hors starter set (feed buckets, haybags and water troughs and more) He will also need to com wif a FITTED saddle girf and halter as well as a harniss and a new or barely used cart.I am a professinil rider so he must be good in drissage and jumpin. The sella must be willin to com down evryday to help me poopick and stuff and you can even have a ride once a munth to say thanx. My price rage is probably from £1-300 as I all of us eqestrins now that home is far more importont than sale pric. NO TIME WATERS JOY RIDDERS OR DAY TRIPERS PLEASE!"

This Ad was deleted a day after posting, *I wonder why xD* but I got a screenshot before this glorious piece of art left the Earth so I thought I would share it

It wasn't posted on April 1st by any chance was it?!

 

[*Sahara]

I saw one on Preloved recently that made me both, dying of laughter and worried for the horse that goes to them:
"RIDE AND DRIVE FYORD WANTED

I am lookin for a 3-5 year old Fyord (pureblooded) for sale in the Bedforshire area. It must be 110% bombproof have no vicess and be broke and confident being ridden and driveien" *Seriously "driveien"?!?!?!* "He must be 14-14.2hh tall and I am only interested in stallions as they are probbly the calmest fit for me as Mayors are moody and Geldins unatural.He must come wif a hors starter set (feed buckets, haybags and water troughs and more) He will also need to com wif a FITTED saddle girf and halter as well as a harniss and a new or barely used cart.I am a professinil rider so he must be good in drissage and jumpin. The sella must be willin to com down evryday to help me poopick and stuff and you can even have a ride once a munth to say thanx. My price rage is probably from £1-300 as I all of us eqestrins now that home is far more importont than sale pric. NO TIME WATERS JOY RIDDERS OR DAY TRIPERS PLEASE!"

This Ad was deleted a day after posting, *I wonder why xD* but I got a screenshot before this glorious piece of art left the Earth so I thought I would share it

Jesus that's got to be a joke post :eek3:

 

[WelshD]

I saw one recently, two ponies, both unbroken and one was about 9 years old, for LOAN but need to go to a professional please

 

[duckling]

This made me giggle, think someone needs to go back to that bhs riding school and asks how to measure a horse!!

'Looking for a loan around 14'4-16'5hh
Something I can take out to compete
I am a confident rider and have rode many horses been taught in a bhs riding school. Please inbox if any recommendations. Thank you'

 

[only_me]

Another good one

Looking for a new horse
- 15-16h gelding 4-11 years old. No vices. Must not be green, bad or ungenuine. Must jump with no hesitation (?). Must be good with other horses, travelling. Good to clip/shoe. No cobs, hunters or heavy type horses. Prefer palamimo, grey, Appaloosa, few bitten etc. Dun or a black beauty type. Can only travel 30miles outside of my home.


Budget is 1500-1700££

 

[horselady]

Another good one

Looking for a new horse
- 15-16h gelding 4-11 years old. No vices. Must not be green, bad or ungenuine. Must jump with no hesitation (?). Must be good with other horses, travelling. Good to clip/shoe. No cobs, hunters or heavy type horses. Prefer palamimo, grey, Appaloosa, few bitten etc. Dun or a black beauty type. Can only travel 30miles outside of my home.


Budget is 1500-1700££

are they missing a zero off the end of their highest, lowest price and area willing to travel.

 

[alainax]

Not horsey but got me..

Slabs wanted. Must be free. No transport so will need to be delivered.

 

[caileag]

And since you're bringing the slabs anyway you may as well just lay the patio too.

 

[Frumpoon]

A fresh one - horse wanted in loan, so far so good....she goes on to describe what is approx £5-15k worth of competition horse...on loan...again perfectly possible....however she only wants it for the summer and she's willing to make a "small financial contribution"....

 

[holeymoley]

Just seen this - 'getting my first horse and only have a riding hat , looking for everything free or cheap, saddle must be under £100'

I think someone needs to have a rethink on things!

 

[huskydamage]

Brood mare with kissing spines. Why would you breed a horse with a deformed spine???

 

[PorkChop]

Just seen this - 'getting my first horse and only have a riding hat , looking for everything free or cheap, saddle must be under £100'

I think someone needs to have a rethink on things!

Just seen this one too!

 

[horselady]

And since you're bringing the slabs anyway you may as well just lay the patio too.

Quite!

 

[HeresHoping]

Have just had a big rant and am still seething. Lady with a young ID that's started to get aggressive and is thoroughly 'misbehaving' (read rearing, bucking, etc.). This is on a fairly respected instructor's page. Vet has not offered a work up, x-rays or anything, it seems. In her 80 or so comments there are recommendations for calmers, suggestions for physios, offers of natural horsemanship, treatments for ulcers, cures for rearing. It makes me so mad. Why do so called professionals try and treat the symptoms without establishing the cause? Why do people call the back person before diagnosis, and why do some back people believe it's ok to treat without a diagnosis (Oh, he might have kissing spines so I'll just rub him better). Why do so many people, apparently knowledgeable people, still fail to understand that bad behaviour in a horse is hardly ever that? Gah.