Donations on Facebook to buy a girl a horse...

The coffee shop is called California Coffee :) It is expensive, but very nice. Or you can do what I do, and add a selection of diced chocolate to the mug prior to pouring in the hot coffee :D

As you were.
 
amymay said:
Actually quite a few posters on here have disagreed with the majority. The difference between those posters and you is that their 'arguments' are measured. They haven't resorted to swearing and have debated the topic.

You on the other hand have become ever more hysterical in your responses - which give them no validation at all. You simply come across as a rather petulant schoolgirl.

Love it or hate it hho has a reputation for plain speaking, hot debate and intelligent argument. Nothing like fb.
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This entirely, nearly put the same but had to pop put and do evening stables. Every view and opinion is completely valid so long as It is done in a sensible way without dropping to being personal about things and that is what a few have done here, meaning that anything that you have to say is all but meaningless.

Those that moan about being 'bullied' on this thread are only getting back what they initially threw. People in glass houses shouldn't throw stones.
 
laura_v said:
What I disagree with is this 'policing' of what causes constituent being acceptable and what don't. Some would argue the RSPCA shouldn't be donated to due to their anti-hunting stance or the way they are taking more cases to court and not so much money is invested into abandoned animals. Blimey if we properly debated it we could spend days arguing what charities are actually charity. Which ones are more important than others? We could argue a charity for an art gallery renovation is less of a cause than one for animal welfare? Or that animal welfare charities are less of a cause than human cancer charities?

Playing devils advocate here, if we were to take the Romanian government's stance (look at their new dog legislation) all those helpless abandoned animals would simply be out down, problem solved... Or is it?

At the end of the day the people who have donated have got something for their money - a good feeling! Now on here those people have been called 'stupid', 'fools' and 'mugs' but I wish I could get that feeling for as little as that.
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You raise an interesting point. The "there are worthier causes" argument is somewhat futile. Firstly, it is difficult to decide on the most worthy cause as you state. Secondly, when should the "there are worthier causes argument apply"? When buying a diamante browband, a new pair of shoes, an expensive coffee? Most people spend their money on stuff they don't need. Giving money to the groom falls into the same "frivolous / impulse spend" category.
 
Anglebracket said:
, when should the "there are worthier causes argument apply"? When buying a diamante browband, a new pair of shoes, an expensive coffee? Most people spend their money on stuff they don't need. Giving money to the groom falls into the same "frivolous / impulse spend" category.
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Asking strangers to spend THEIR money on something frivolous for YOU, whilst making it sound like it's a 'need' is, in most people's opinion , wrong. THAT was the original question of the whole thread and turns out to be the general consensus. Except those who dislike that opinion are busy calling those who have expressed it bullies.
 
Kallibear said:
Asking strangers to spend THEIR money on something frivolous for YOU, whilst making it sound like it's a 'need' is, in most people's opinion , wrong. THAT was the original question of the whole thread and turns out to be the general consensus. Except those who dislike that opinion are busy calling those who have expressed it bullies.
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Another brilliant post Kallibear
 
Kallibear said:
Asking strangers to spend THEIR money on something frivolous for YOU, whilst making it sound like it's a 'need' is, in most people's opinion , wrong. THAT was the original question of the whole thread and turns out to be the general consensus. Except those who dislike that opinion are busy calling those who have expressed it bullies.
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People have raised the argument that the money should have been spend on charity instead of giving it to the groom. I don't think this is a good argument an have explained why. Not quite sure why you are quoting me in your post because you seem to be talking about a different issue than me. I have not called anyone a bully either.
 
Jim Moriarty said:
Shall we take your silence on this issue as "I'm sorry, my sincere apologies, there appear to be no threats to the groom in question on this thread/H&H".

That's OK, glad we've sorted that out.

Time to go and get dressed for dinner.
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I'm currently imagining that you have changed out of your day clothes into evening dress, the alternative calls for mind bleach and I'm fresh out of that!
 
Such a shame non of the supporters of this can be bothered to have a civilised discussion about this.
As stated before and possibly missed by the supporters, they do not have all the facts as anything remotely contentious gets deleted from the facebook page so they are not getting the full story. In fact if you read the comments on their facebook page it is quite sad to see how biased and nasty the supporters are. Are we not entitled to our opinions?
I for one grew up not having horses but had to have riding lessons and there were many a horse I wanted, one or two I truly bonded with but we could not afford to buy and keep a horse then. I just accepted that was the way it was and made the most of what I did have. Unfortunately we appear to be coming a society where its all I want want want. Well sorry to be a party pooper we can't always get what we want, its called life and the sooner you accept that the better.
Anyway kettle is on, can't offer any nice coffee but can do a mean hot chocolate
 
I have been lurking on HHO for a while now, but never quite got around to registering. I can’t believe I’ve actually gone for it now! (Hello!)

Initially, I thought this thread was a balanced and sensible discussion, but was quite shocked at the bile, venom and bad language towards those who consider the donation idea wasn’t a good one.

I don’t think HHO’ers can be considered a bunch of jealous haters. Things might not always run smoothly, and there will be upsets and misunderstandings, but to call HHO’ers vile creatures? These are the same people I’ve seen offer endless help, kindness and support to others.

Still can’t believe this thread has made me finally register. Hope I don’t appear to be barging in…
 
Kallibear said:
As I said, it's may or may not have taken money away from a real charity but that's not the point. It's the fact she's out there begging for something she most definitely doesn't 'need' in any shape or form, she just wants, alongside the genuinely needy, as if her need is similar. It is, in many people's opinion, distasteful.

I disagree, that is not the point or the point I was making. My point is predominantly the classification that people have used on here to define those that have donated money as being 'stupid', 'mugs' and 'fools'. What I have been saying and am maintaining now, is irrelevant of whether you think the groom to be wanting something 'luxurious' (whether horses and mucking out their excretion is luxurious is also debatable!), is the fact that the people who gave their money have got a 'product' for that money. 'The feeling of helping a stranger', as many of them have quoted. So they have something for their money and so in that way how are they 'stupid'? They are probably feeling better dong that than I was after drinking my metaphorical latte! These people knew exactly what the money was for, it was hardly some email scam asking for £50 to process a claim from someone who couldn't even spell their name!

Another issue is this 'begging' idea the definition of a beggar is:

beg·gar (bgr)
n.
1. One who solicits alms for a living. - well she isn't making a living out of it
2. An impoverished person; a pauper. - she's not quite that, I know grooms wages are low but I wouldn't class her as a pauper as I would be classifying some of my own friends as that
3. Informal A man or a boy. - she is definitely not that
tr.v. beg·gared, beg·gar·ing, beg·gars
1. To make a beggar of; impoverish.
2. To exceed the limits, resources, or capabilities of: beauty that beggars description. - well I suppose what she has asked for may have 'beggared belief' so this is as close as we get!

So by the 'literal' definition she isn't really a beggar but by the interpretation of some of the people on here she is. So I will offer my opinion which is that I don't think she is a beggar even in the looser interpretation that is being thrust around so much on here, she never asked repeatedly for money, in fact she never asked for money outright at all (I know as I have followed the story from the beginning). It was actually the people who are friends with CnG's webpage that started to offer money and told the dealer to start a paypal account for them to contribute to. If anything it was the dealer that posted what the groom had apparently said and never came from the girl herself!


You're absolutely right, you'll never got everyone (or even a majority! ) to agree on which charity is more important than another but you WILL get a majority agreeing that a charity should be something that benefits many and/or has a genuine need. This begging doesn't even come close to that

But that point is irrelevant this was never a charitable cause or sold as such, my point is we are trying to police what people should do with their money, and irrelevant of 'need' those that donated did so in a way that was to increase the 'wellbeing' of another (a stranger), wellbeing being defined as happiness, not physical. What you are saying is those people shouldn't do that and are wrong in doing so, they should instead give to a charity - which some have said they already do - in which case your saying they should donate more. To which I am pointing out the flaws in your argument, which are there will always be something 'more charitable' a better use of money, but where do we stop?


That would be an interesting debate but not even remotely related the the current: is begging for something entirely selfish moral? - Was this really the debate from some of the posts prior to this, this doesn't seem the case, there have been many other debates in this thread than this one, some of which slagging of the reputation of the dealer, if it was simply the question above then this thread wouldn't have 400+ posts a it would have finished ages ago...



You've rather twisted the point. Of course kids will beg their parents, family and friends for something they desperately want. It's part of growing up and something most people grow out of as they learn you need to WORK for what you want but can't afford. But I'd most certainly hope you'd be the first to give them a metaphorical clip round the ear is they were found begging strangers in the street (or online) for something frivolous!
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I've only 'twisted' as much as everyone else on here, people 'beg' in the context your using this phrase everyday! Our friends and family, even strangers outside a pub asking for a cigarette, in your context would all be beggars. I think to brand these people as immoral for expressing what they want is wrong, as I said earlier the groom never repeatedly asked or even directly asked for money from people.
 
Once again we've had someone join the forum to label us jealous bullies.

Can I say again, I am NOT jealous. I have a beautiful horse that I love dearly - I like to think she loves me back, but the same affection would probably be given to anyone who brought the carrots. OK, I only managed to buy her because of an insurance payout from the death of her predecessor, who was bought using hard earned cash, saved for over months.

Yes, her predecessor died suddenly, despite the best attentions of the vet, and it broke my heart. THAT is the meaning of heartbreaking, not being unable to afford to buy a dream
 
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Am not surprised that the supporters of this girl on FB turn nasty, who many times have we seen this before, they come and then disappear. Are we as a forum, jealous of this young girl, well no, are we viscous (have I spelt that right?) or nasty, that depends peoples interpretation on said words. For myself if I do have any spare cash, which isn't very often, I give to SPANA or WHW and must admit I've never had hot chocolate with marshmellows. :)
 
Don't despair - I'm having quite a good debate with Kallibear that isn't resorting to name calling.... :-) rather enjoying the debate if you can see pass the slagging matches that are going on! But I agree a lot of posts aren't very sensible, but there are some good ones!

This post is for @Spilleta

Sorry it didn't work well I don't get the reply function on my laptop compared with my phone lol
 
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laura_v said:
Don't despair - I'm having quite a good debate with Kallibear that isn't resorting to name calling.... :-) rather enjoying the debate if you can see pass the slagging matches that are going on! But I agree a lot of posts aren't very sensible, but there are some good ones!
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I'm trying to but the quoting is becoming a nightmare on a mobile! Off to dig out a laptop. I can start name calling if people feel we're being too civilised and bringing the tone up?
 
Kallibear said:
Asking strangers to spend THEIR money on something frivolous for YOU, whilst making it sound like it's a 'need' is, in most people's opinion , wrong. THAT was the original question of the whole thread and turns out to be the general consensus. Except those who dislike that opinion are busy calling those who have expressed it bullies.
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But the girl in question didn't ask directly at any point it was started as a 'ah ** just said this how sweet' to which other folk replied yes do it, start a paypal pages we will donate. Nowhere either did the groom say she 'needed' the horse, like she needs food or a house. She said she loved the horse and it would be a dream come true if she could be with her without her getting sold on, that is all. If she had phrased it as above 'that she needed her' no-one would have given as it would have sounded like a spoilt brat lol
 
Kallibear said:
I'm trying to but the quoting is becoming a nightmare on a mobile! Off to dig out a laptop. I can start name calling if people feel we're being too civilised and bringing the tone up?
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That proper made me laugh! I think we are being too civilised when I look at some of the other posts. Hopefully we will be setting a good example that you can disagree on points without getting nasty about it!
 
I desperately wanted a horse from a very early age. I came up with all sorts of strategies as to how I could earn some money so that I could have one. Would 2 paper rounds, washing the neighbours cars and selling unwanted toys be enough? My parents possibly could have afforded one, but pointed out that the family would have to go without other things and would it be fair on my brother, - why should I have an expensive hobby and he not have a similar amount spent on him. So I had to think longer term - study hard, go to uni so that in turn I could get a good job which would pay enough to afford a horse. I realised that in the meantime I could use the time to find out how to look after horses properly, so got myself a job at a little yard. My wage was £2 for a whole day (25 years ago :) ) but I loved it as I got to spend time with horses and I was learning, so that when I finally got my own I'd know what to do. There were times at uni that I wanted to quit, but the thought of having my own horse spurred me on to stick it out. I finally got my degree and then a half decent job, so then started saving furiously not just for the horse but the tack, rugs, etc etc. I figured too that I could find out just how much disposable cash I could scrimp together each month and would it be enough to afford the monthly costs of owning a horse. After 6 months I'd saved enough and having done my sums a hundred times thought that I could just about afford one.
At the yard I worked at, there was a pony that I absolutely adored and we did have a bond. When I'd come back during uni holidays, he would let out a shrill whinny and come galloping across the field to see me. :) The owners knew I adored him and the kids had all outgrown him, so as I'm a short ar*e they asked if I would like to buy him, which of course I jumped at the opportunity. Dreams can come true!

Not quite sure why I shared my life story but it somehow seems in a small way relevant to this thread. I heard a great quote once - "luck is when preparation and opportunity meet".

I do agree with the viewpoint that if you can't afford the purchase, then can one really afford to keep a horse. If I lost my boy today, I certainly wouldn't have the money to hand to buy another horse. However I would save up the money each month from no longer having to pay for a horse's up keep, so that in 6 months or however long, I had enough to buy a horse.
 
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