Forum Bully Behavior - Observation

Shilasdair said:
I feel bullied. :p

I'd like to point out that despite my embarassingly large post count, and in fact owning multiple accounts (well, two) I have never been banned despite being forthright with my opinion. :D

It does interest me that certain posters feel the need to call me all sorts of names, with a sort of righteous witch-finding zeal, just because of the 'daemon from Hades' profile.

That damned Fii is the worst though, isn't she?
S :D
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Worse than you apparently! ;)
Two accounts?? :eek:
 
quirky said:
× smug smiley ×
Both x and xx turned up in quick succession :D
Chuffed my prediction was correct ;):)
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rhino said:
As I'm fairly sure that both your comments were aimed at me, you are quite wrong with your apparent reasoning. The same as in RL, like minded people will tend to congregate. Unless there's telepathic communication going on; there has been no other contact for me anyway :rolleyes: You sound a little paranoid :)
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Or aimed at me and JFTD :cool: yes we do know each other in RL and tend to post on the same threads but thats because we tend to have the same opinions on stuff.

Any way I'll flounce off for you rhino as I really must do this assignment so take that as my flounce :p
 
JFTD said:
I'm going to have to stop you there. Please NEVER take anything I say seriously. There are many better placed people to advise than me on here :eek:

I mostly just post thread diverting nonsense anyway :)
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LOL ok then, I will do as you say and will take your posts with a pinch of salt, especially this last one ;)

Seriously though, there is a lot of good advice going around on this board, most of the 'usual suspects' seem to talk a lot of good sense and the banter just makes it more fun IMO
 
dafthoss said:
Or aimed at me and JFTD :cool: yes we do know each other in RL and tend to post on the same threads but thats because we tend to have the same opinions on stuff.

Any way I'll flounce off for you rhino as I really must do this assignment so take that as my flounce :p
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Quite. We have similar interests and therefore tend to post on similar posts. Because we have similar interests and similar ideas, we post similar things. Because of both of those things, we hang out in RL too.. Amusing circularity, really. I ought to flounce off and do some work too :D
 
newbie_nix said:
there is a lot of good advice going around on this board, most of the 'usual suspects' seem to talk a lot of good sense and the banter just makes it more fun IMO
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well said - there are some great posters on here and a lot of good humoured banter. What more could you want in a forum? :D
 
JFTD said:
Quite. We have similar interests and therefore tend to post on similar posts. Because we have similar interests and similar ideas, we post similar things. Because of both of those things, we hang out in RL too.. Amusing circularity, really. I ought to flounce off and do some work too :D
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Quite!! But some people can never look outside of the box can they?! In the eyes of some anybody who tends to agree with someone else must be a butt licker rather than just, well, merely agreeing with them!!

Just realised I posted the word 'quite' at the start, as did you - must make me part of the clique for using the same language!! Lol!
 
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Moomin1 said:
Quite!! But some people can never look outside of the box can they?! In the eyes of some anybody who tends to agree with someone else must be a butt licker rather than just, well, merely agreeing with them!!

Just realised I posted the word 'quite' at the start, as did you - must make me part of the clique for using the same language!! Lol!
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bend over dear, my neck's getting sore licking your butt :D

dafthoss said:
Now really must go need to write 900 words still :eek:
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Go on, shoe! I have more like 39,000 still to write :o
 
I have never felt bullied on here. I like that some posters are staright forward and cut straight to the point, I admire that quality in a person. However some posters just come accross as very arrogant (even if I agree with the point they are making) I feel that there are better ways of saying things and being considerate to others feelings. I have strong opinions and have always said what is on my mind. But I hope I have not come accross as nasty or insensitive in the way I have written them. I too find that some posters stick together and seem to enjoy taking the mick out of other posters. I tend to ignore there posts as I don't want to have to look at them. But I have learnt so much from being on here and have found most of the posters to be friendly and helpful.
 
Well...this thread sprouted legs... Is it one of those take over thingumys? :D

Flame_ said:
Do you need a real child to go on Mumsnet or will a made up one do?
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You can make one up... It'll be far better though if you manage to steal or purchase one and describe your happy experience... Many members will wish to forward their fond regards... :)

GD in Digital Spy can be another spot where an all out mudslinging scrap can occur... Not for the faint hearted... :D
 
Leviathan said:
There are many on here who think they know more than anyone else..

The fact is NO ONE knows everything. There is always something to learn, new ways of doing things,new treatments. Useful tips someone has gained who can share the info with others.

Trouble is where I find allot of the problem is when there is conflict on different vets advise.

There is no right or wrong way. You must find the way that best suits your horse, your budget, your vet, your situation.


I have been in horses 46 year,done BHS exams and have probably worked in more training yards, livery yards, riding schools than you would think. I have seen and been involved with more issues - treatment - injuries than most here have been alive, but I would no way would profess to knowing everything . No one can.


Yes times change - treatments change - more knowledge is known about certain treatments .

That's why we should spend more time finding out these changes and new treatments. Not go round shutting the door to anyone who offers their ways of doing things .
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Now this I agree with. There are some posters on this forum who act like they know everything. They are the posters whose opinions I am least likely to take seriously, as they are either naive or so entrenched in their own 'expertise' they are now incapable of reflective learning to improve their knowledge and skills, which is self limiting.

I also dislike unpleasantness under the guise of 'it is because I care so passionately about horse welfare.' If horse welfare is a primary concern it is more productive to enagage with, rather than antognise, the owner whose animal you claim to care so much about.

I do not think there is bullying on this forum, but there is much nonsense spouted as 'wisdom'.
 
I like this forum it's entertaining. The stick togethers I ignore now they bore me. If they start to attack just don't go on that thread. But yes there is a lot of it about. The conversations between themselves they are by that point bored and tobehonest I think boring off topic rubbish and don't bother looking at that thread again at its pointless rubbish. As I see a lot of the others do from this thread so don't know what they are actually achieving.
 
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dafthoss said:
Or aimed at me and JFTD :cool: yes we do know each other in RL and tend to post on the same threads but thats because we tend to have the same opinions on stuff.

Any way I'll flounce off for you rhino as I really must do this assignment so take that as my flounce :p
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JFTD said:
Quite. We have similar interests and therefore tend to post on similar posts. Because we have similar interests and similar ideas, we post similar things. Because of both of those things, we hang out in RL too.. Amusing circularity, really. I ought to flounce off and do some work too :D
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Moomin1 said:
Quite!! But some people can never look outside of the box can they?! In the eyes of some anybody who tends to agree with someone else must be a butt licker rather than just, well, merely agreeing with them!!

Just realised I posted the word 'quite' at the start, as did you - must make me part of the clique for using the same language!! Lol!
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Well ladies, I HAD thought you were a bit cliquey, but now you have fully persuaded me you are not. :D
 
Kaylum said:
I like this forum it's entertaining. The stick togethers I ignore now they bore me. If they start to attack just don't go on that thread. But yes there is a lot of it about. The conversations between themselves they are by that point bored and tobehonest I think boring off topic rubbish and don't bother looking at that thread again at its pointless rubbish. As I see a lot of the others do from this thread so don't know what they are actually achieving.
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Completely agree.
 
Kaylum said:
I like this forum it's entertaining. The stick togethers I ignore now they bore me. If they start to attack just don't go on that thread. But yes there is a lot of it about. The conversations between themselves they are by that point bored and tobehonest I think boring off topic rubbish and don't bother looking at that thread again at its pointless rubbish. As I see a lot of the others do from this thread so don't know what they are actually achieving.
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Ditto
 
Wagtail said:
Well ladies, I HAD thought you were a bit cliquey, but now you have fully persuaded me you are not. :D
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LOLv:D
It's those who spout, "I've never been banned", yet who pride themselves on the subtle insult who I find quite strange. The off topic posts do become a bit tedious I agree, jumping to each others defence tends to promote the sense of cliqueyness, let people fight their battles... Unless theyre being bullied of course!:eek:
 
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IMO a bully is nasty to others in the hope that it will cause them pain, mental or physical. Often there is a personal element in this.

It is not the same as people who are nasty because they are rude/unpleasant in general.
 
I've seen some nasty bullying on one forum. Users continually mocked in veiled humour relentlessly by a gang of superior know it alls. I got so upset and angry for those targeted I left until the mockers were banned. :(
 
amandap said:
I've seen some nasty bullying on one forum. Users continually mocked in veiled humour relentlessly by a gang of superior know it alls. I got so upset and angry for those targeted I left until the mockers were banned. :(
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I find that quite sad, that you felt you had to leave a good forum because some of some people behaving like the " school bully and their wee gang of sychophants." glad you decided to come on again.:)
 
marydoll said:
I find that quite sad, that you felt you had to leave a good forum because some of some people behaving like the " school bully and their wee gang of sychophants." glad you decided to come on again.:)
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It wasn't H&H. :)

I used to find it very scary here but whether it's because I post more or this forum has become more 'open' I don't know but I don't find it scary anymore.
Not even NL that I inhabit most these days. :D
 
JFTD said:
Fii, I'm not starting that debate again, but a point I failed to get over clearly on that thread was that I was less concerned by the photos, more by her own description of the mare as "fat" as though it was desirable.
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But you seemed to fail to grasp the sense and tone of her post. The word 'fat' was used yes, but it's easy enough to gather from the amount of exclamation marks and smiley faces that the post had a cheerful, excited and somewhat jokey tone to it. As a regular poster of smiley faces, jokes and sarcasm I would have expected you more than anyone to understand that.

Without dragging it back up anymore than it has already been... I didn't think the mare was a 'fat beast' and I didn't think your first comment on the thread was helpful or sincere in the slightest. I don't think it makes you a forum bully, or anything of the sort but I do think that you come across as rather hypocritical at times. You seem to think you can post 'whatever you like' as long as it is either followed by this :D or this :rolleyes: or this :p ... but apparently no one else can.

I'm sure I'll get lynched for this because I've used an incorrect word, or because your friends feel that my opinion is wrong, but that's fine. Perhaps I am incorrect, that seems to happen a lot so I wont rule it out :)
FWIW a lot of the time I enjoy your posts, the same as I do everyone else's on this forum but it would be a boring world if we were all in agreement the whole time.
 
I go through phases with this forum, sometimes entertained but sometimes bored to tears - so I just don't go on then. I'm really not sure how you could get bullied on a forum, if it starts then just don't log on.

Ditto the point on the stick togethers though.... sighs...... wouldn't be so bad if they actually had anything useful to say.
 
Lady La La said:
But you seemed to fail to grasp the sense and tone of her post. The word 'fat' was used yes, but it's easy enough to gather from the amount of exclamation marks and smiley faces that the post had a cheerful, excited and somewhat jokey tone to it. As a regular poster of smiley faces, jokes and sarcasm I would have expected you more than anyone to understand that.

Without dragging it back up anymore than it has already been... I didn't think the mare was a 'fat beast' and I didn't think your first comment on the thread was helpful or sincere in the slightest. I don't think it makes you a forum bully, or anything of the sort but I do think that you come across as rather hypocritical at times. You seem to think you can post 'whatever you like' as long as it is either followed by this :D or this :rolleyes: or this :p ... but apparently no one else can.

I'm sure I'll get lynched for this because I've used an incorrect word, or because your friends feel that my opinion is wrong, but that's fine. Perhaps I am incorrect, that seems to happen a lot so I wont rule it out :)
FWIW a lot of the time I enjoy your posts, the same as I do everyone else's on this forum but it would be a boring world if we were all in agreement the whole time.
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That was the one post I did think was bullying. Poor girl got slaughtered year before cos her horse was too thin, was SOOOO proud of herself and then just got brought down for no good reason. She wouldn't even have had the chance to log off as the comments came so quickly. Talk about putting someone down. It was damaging and that's my experience (legion) of bullying.
 
scarymare said:
That was the one post I did think was bullying. Poor girl got slaughtered year before cos her horse was too thin, was SOOOO proud of herself and then just got brought down for no good reason. She wouldn't even have had the chance to log off as the comments came so quickly. Talk about putting someone down. It was damaging and that's my experience (legion) of bullying.
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I disagree that it was bullying, and I think that if someone had genuine concerns over the mares weight then telling the OP was the right thing to do, but there and ways of doing things. For someone who was already aware of the history with this particular poster, I felt JDFT could and should have worded her concerns differently. It's just my opinion, doesn't make me right. :)
 
Lady La La said:
I do think that you come across as rather hypocritical at times. You seem to think you can post 'whatever you like' as long as it is either followed by this :D or this :rolleyes: or this :p ... but apparently no one else can.
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LLL, really? I genuinely don't believe that poster was being sarcastic. I believe she was saying that her mare is so far away from the condition she was in the previous year that she is now fat - a description which a number of people seemed to agree was in line with the photos she provided (even if you disagree). If she were being sarcastic then surely she deserves as much wrath from other forum members as I do for being sarcastic, since according to some on here, it is the 8th deadly sin :rolleyes:

I'm not sure why you feel I have a problem with others posting "whatever they like". I don't, within reason. However, there were a handful of very personal insults thrown at me on that (and previous threads), which were in breach of the T&Cs, and though I didn't report them, since they were removed by TFC, that is not my subjective opinion, but actual fact. Other than those specific cases, I have never suggested that others can't post exactly what they please. However, on an open forum, they may get replies they dislike. I certainly do...


eta - who do you expect to "lynch" you? I certainly won't, but I will discuss salient points with you.
 
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