EJP15
Well-Known Member
I don't even want to use her but unless I fancy being bullied of the yard like the last 4 people that left in a year I have no choice
Full livery expectations
- Thread starter EJP15
- Start date
JenJ
Well-Known Member
Heeeey....steady on there. Unless you know more than is on the thread, then I think you're being a bit harsh. OP is paying over the odds for a very below par service, and sounds like being bullied into it as well.
OP, what does the YO think of the arrangement.
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EJP15
Well-Known Member
She said I'm being overcharged and she wouldn't pay it herself. Told me to just try someone else which I did and all he'll broke lose. I ended up with all liveries falling out with me and the livery that helps me waa texting me having a go at me. I didn't even replace her I just used another girl on a day I literally had no way of paying the £40. I had already used her 4 times that week.
YO said she would speak to her for me but I know it would make the situation worse so I just stopped attempting to use anyone else. Now I'm being charged extra for things she originally charged the £40 it has caused me more anxiety. Hence why I posted tonight.
I'm now trying to delete my account as I can't delete the thread and worried someone will see plus the person having ago at me is making me spiral.
Thank you for your kind and thoughtful reply x
EJP15
Well-Known Member
Thank you so much
JenJ
Well-Known Member
But OP is paying her friend about £860 a month to do some work for 2 horses, this is on top of the DIY livery and hay and bedding and feed. She could easily get full livery for far less in the area. The friend is being paid generously but not doing much in return.
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EJP15
Well-Known Member
L
And I've confided in her about my recent money issues, I didn't even have food in my house recently and now she's adding £5 per hoof pick out on top of the £40 livery. I think maybe she thinks I'm making up that I'm struggling for money? I wish I was. My son's father has basically disappeared and stopped paying properly towards his care. She knows all this but continues to add on extras and yet the jobs seem to be getting done with less care. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. I have a sharer now but even when the sharer is doing most jobs I'm paying full livery on those days too because I don't want to upset my friend.
I can't cope with the extra stress from it onto of my own awful life. I just wanted some impartial thoughts from other people but regret it now.
Not like I can even do anything about it.
JenJ
Well-Known Member
It sounds like you're really being taken advantage of. But you're allowing it to happen if you're not letting the YO step in to help, and if you're giving in and paying your friend the money. It doesn't seem like she's your friend though.
Honestly, you do need to put your foot down and tell her "no" if you want this situation to stop. It sounds like a move to another yard might be your best option. With all the money you're currently paying you can probably afford quite a few different places.
Good luck, and stand your ground.
Denali
Well-Known Member
Pay for full care and stop complaining about what it costs to keep horses to your standards.
JenJ
Well-Known Member
Well, she said she has spoken to the person but has been told she has to do it her way. It sounds like she feels really stuck, and is scared to speak up.
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Squeak
Well-Known Member
OP has said they're paying about £860 a month as well as paying livery costs for their stable etc.
OP I hope you manage to get things with the yard sorted. It does sound like you might be best to try and find a new yard, even if it is further away or has other compromises as it sounds a horrible situation.
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EJP15
Well-Known Member
I even get taxi's to and from the yard so yes I can find full for less but I am concerned about ever being unable to afford that and also I need space for 2 and 1 has health issues so has paticular requirements and yards in my area are being sold to be built on at an alarming rate.
If YO did step in all that would happen would be that I'd anger the other liveries and I'd have to stay and deal with that.
I've got a sharer so hoping over time she can slowly take over some of the livery days but it's going to have to be done very slowly to avoid to much backlash. We are out for summer soon so that will give me some breathing space.
I wish I'd made this situation up as it sounds ridiculous. 40 years old and being forced into parting with my own money by girls barly in their 20s.
Ps I'm not ageist and excuse typos.
Pss I got into horses as a child as my psychiatrist suggested it to my parents. Haha
the ironyEJP15
Well-Known Member
She literally text me saying "omg you've got a 16 year old to do your livery. You are taking the piss after I've always done it."Well, she said she has spoken to the person but has been told she has to do it her way. It sounds like she feels really stuck, and is scared to speak up.
I replied saying "I've used you 4 times this week and you know I'm struggling to feed myself atm. So said 16 year old offered to help me and only wants £20 as she needs the pocket money. This isn't anything against you"
That was met with a garage of abuse and told I was selfish and mugging her off etc etc and to stop making it all about me
EJP15
Well-Known Member
My purse? I'm spending around 2k a month on my horses
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Squeak
Well-Known Member
Is there something else going on apart from this thread? Your replies don't really make sense for what the OP has said and are a bit harsh.
OP - It might be worth logging off for the night as otherwise I think you'll just keep getting these replies.
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EJP15
Well-Known Member
Are you for real? I pay £100 a week stables and hay (£50 per horse) £160 a week full livery (4 date
I've put in comments my sons father has disappeared and stopped paying towards his care. He's disabled. This is a recent issue. You seem to have some of your own personal issues going on. I'm sorry for whatever is going on atm.
My purse isn't the problem here though. I think you are missing the problem but that's okay
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EJP15
Well-Known Member
Thank you x
EJP15
Well-Known Member
£40 cash in hand for 2 hours work is NOT shit pay. I've got a degree and worked for less doing far worse work I can assure you.
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JenJ
Well-Known Member
So the person you are paying is younger than you?I even get taxi's to and from the yard so yes I can find full for less but I am concerned about ever being unable to afford that and also I need space for 2 and 1 has health issues so has paticular requirements and yards in my area are being sold to be built on at an alarming rate.
If YO did step in all that would happen would be that I'd anger the other liveries and I'd have to stay and deal with that.
I've got a sharer so hoping over time she can slowly take over some of the livery days but it's going to have to be done very slowly to avoid to much backlash. We are out for summer soon so that will give me some breathing space.
I wish I'd made this situation up as it sounds ridiculous. 40 years old and being forced into parting with my own money by girls barly in their 20s.
Ps I'm not ageist and excuse typos.
Pss I got into horses as a child as my psychiatrist suggested it to my parents. Haha
A few weeks ago you said you were being bullied by someone on the yard, who was 10 years older than you, and her sister. You mentioned there were two other liveries. If the person you are paying is one of the other two, then you are surrounded by people at the yard that are not making your life happy. You need to leave the yard asap. If there is nowhere local that suits your geldings' needs, then you may have to look at sending them further afield and seeing them less often. With the money you are currently paying now you should find plenty of choice.
A few things aren't adding up over your two threads, but I'll just conclude with saying... you need to remove yourself from your current situation, for your own sake.
EJP15
Well-Known Member
The person who does my livery is meant to be my friend yes but this is how she's behaving. I've changed the odd detail to try and hide my identity but nothing about what I'm experiencing has been changed. There are only 4 other liveries other than me yes.
I am worried about certain things being easily recognisable because I once posted anonymously and people knew it was me! I didn't even put any particular details in.
This yard is 10 miles from me, so not close to me
EJP15
Well-Known Member
Just details of say gender, or relationship between liveries if that makes sense.
Ps I posted a really vague post of chit chat and tack about new yard anxiety and the liveries knew it was me that posted!
JenJ
Well-Known Member
You need to leave. Honestly, life doesn't have to be this hard x
EJP15
Well-Known Member
Unfortunately the last two yards I was on after sole use of nearly years have been sold for development! There's literally a handful of places now in the area and most are for sale or people are leaving in masses due to serious welfare issues! We also have yards in my area that have zero winter turn out, some even have limited Summer turn out!
It wasn't like this down South
EJP15
Well-Known Member
The sole use yard is up for development too! There's a yard across the road from my new house actually and that's just been sold for 99 houses to be built on! The yard is literally on the opposite side of the road directly outside my house!
The current yard is also having 300 new houses built next door! I fear for the security of this yard too as it only rented x
blitznbobs
Well-Known Member
Extracting money with menaces then? And you let her get away with that? That would make me leave immediately.
Bobthecob15
Well-Known Member
I haven’t read all the posts but it sounds like you have little option other than to pay her or move? It’s absolutely wrong what she is charging you but it doesn’t sound like you are able to do anything else?
I know it’s hard to find yards, we are in the same boat with lots closing and am at a not ideal yard either…mine is only really an issue here winter with limited turnout but the 9 months of the rest of the year it’s pretty good for our requirements so we have stayed put until something else comes along (unlikely in our area!).
It just depends on priorities and what you are prepared to deal with…it’s very easy to say move yards, I’d never put up with that etc etc only you can decide what is best for your horses given your circumstances x
I know it’s hard to find yards, we are in the same boat with lots closing and am at a not ideal yard either…mine is only really an issue here winter with limited turnout but the 9 months of the rest of the year it’s pretty good for our requirements so we have stayed put until something else comes along (unlikely in our area!).
It just depends on priorities and what you are prepared to deal with…it’s very easy to say move yards, I’d never put up with that etc etc only you can decide what is best for your horses given your circumstances x
whirlwind
Well-Known Member
As someone who does freelance livery services I don’t think it sounds like you’re getting a lot for your money. I stopped charging per horse and instead now just charge for time taken with a 1 hour minimum charge. I always fill the time! Quick groom, sweep extra areas, make up spare nets for the next day or whatever I can find to do. Assuming local/ at the yard anyway I charge £25/ hour fully insured.
Pearlsasinger
Up in the clouds
In your position, I would move the horses, I'm pretty sure that you can find livery yards within a 10 mile radius in Lancs and then report her to DWP/HMRC as a benefit/ tax cheat.
neddy man
Well-Known Member
Move to another yard . SOON Look at the 2 websites on #21 to see if you can find another yard get on with it, it's not going to get any better where you are, and when you move tell no body which yard you are going to. Sorry to be so blunt but it needs to be said.
Bobthecob15
Well-Known Member
This is good advice and be prepared to have to leave the moment you give notice, so save enough money to be able to pay your notice if you aren’t there x
Gloi
Too little time, too much to read.
She's taking the p.
I bet she's not declaring the income for tax.
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