Has bullying on yards got worse or better in people’s opinion?

[marmalade76]

I had one at a previous yard, started off with trying to cause trouble between me and others, including the YO and when none of this worked, she got her daughter to verbally abuse and intimidate me when no one else was around. I've no idea exactly why other than perhaps she & the daughter wanted the place to themselves (it was just me & them after a while). YO wouldn't do anything (was possibly manipulated & bullied too). I now rent a yard, have one person of my choosing sharing with me and a great YO.

 

[marmalade76]

I think there's another element to this as well in that there are a lot of people who are very ready to be offended by not a lot these days. I was chatting to a horsey acquaintance at an event. I hadn't known her very long so it was kind of one of those chats where you try to find something in common to have something to talk about. We were discussing a friend of mine whom she also knows (not in a bad way, just in a "you must know x" kind of way) when she said they used to be friends but she didn't speak to her any more as she had stopped liking her photos on Facebook, it really upset her and she doesn't need that sort of negativity so she blocked her.

There are several issues here:
1. WTF? How can anyone take offence at a loose acquaintance not liking a photo on Facebook - who even checks?
2. I know the other person very well and the fact she had never mentioned this woman to me suggests they weren't 'friends' at all.
3. I know the other person moved house and had no internet for a while - this is most likely the reason she stopped liking photos. The 'victim' never thought there might be a perfectly innocent reason.
4. Why would you tell almost a complete stranger when they've made it clear they know the other person involved very well? That's only intended to cause trouble.

She sent me a friend request shortly afterwards - even after I told her I barely used it. I've accepted it but make a point of never engaging with her on there - if I don't start she can't get offended if I don't like something I "should have". Not that I do much on there at all. If she checks up on my activity she'll soon see she's not treated any differently from anyone else!

I know this person has moved around several livery yards blaming bullying or being made to feel not welcome for the move.

Unbelievably childish but surprisingly common. I've actually seen a Facebook comment along the lines of "anyone who doesn't like my pics is jealous!" ?

 

[Barton Bounty]

I went along to my old yard for coffee and cake with the girls yesterday. Was really pleasant and had a great catch up. They had bought me a birthday present ?. I do really miss them and the banter but the yard layout is just too busy for BB.

 

[Archangel]

She could see from the state of me how ill and in pain I was, but she kept screaming at me and jabbing me with her finger, nothing I could say would make her stop, I just stood there shaking and crying until she screamed herself out, which seemed to take hours but in reality was about 5 min.

WTF, WTH and Dear God. What an evil cow.

 

[Toby_Zaphod]

We were at a yard some years ago & as a result we moved yards. There was a group of women that hardly ever rode, but sat round a table drinking coffee & talking rudely about whoever was riding in the arena. We rode mostly in the evening & the 'coffee drinkers' were long gone. There was a white board on the door of the tack room on which we wrote the times we wanted to ride, as did everyone there but several times our entries were erased. We worked it out it was the leader of 'The Coffee Drinkers'. One evening we loaded our lorry with everything & went to a private yard at a lovely house & DIY livery was cheaper. We telephoned the yard owner about our moonlight flit, said we were leaving & gave her the reason. The head 'Coffee Drinker' was a friend of the YO. We were up to date with livery & that was that. We've never missed that yard, it probably cost the YO some money because I did all the repairs to stables for just price of materials. Since leaving there I've been on one yard for 6 years, they gave up having liveries so we moved a very short distance to another yard with 11 stables. That was 7+ years ago & we are still there. The last 2 yards we never had any issues with bullying or backbiting. We all get on great, we offer help, as do others and we go out for Christmas meals together & attend weddings etc. It probably helps that we don't do children/teenagers at the yard. The YO does a load of checking on perspective liveries when we have a vacancy comes available. Facebook, previous yard etc they were at because it's rarely the horse that causes issues. Most important to her is that all liveries get on well.