How do I word it... is it justified... is it just a rant?

[SaddlePsych'D]

Wait...what?! OP how is this even in doubt? You are worthy of much more respect than this. No one deserves to be treated this way, let alone on their own property.

Prep your notice in writing as per contract and then speak to them to serve it. Keep it unemotional (though you have every right to be angry!) and be a broken record. Don't get into responding to emotional blackmail or anything else, just keep on track. Then do the emotional bit with people who can support you.

This is how I managed when the lady I lodged with once turned into a 50 something child when I needed to give my notice, perfectly in line with our contract, and I still had to live with her until the notice was up. I'd be polite but straightforward and not get into the nonsense and then after each round of crap go and have a glass of wine in the local pub and bitch about it down the phone to a friend!

Also when I gave notice on my last share. I knew going in there was highly likely to be some BS, so while said BS was coming my way I literally just kept telling myself 'it's okay, we knew this would come' and weirdly it kept me focused, stopped me getting drawn in, and let it go over me so that I could walk away head high. I was pretty upset about it so again I saved that bit for when I was with my partner.

 

[nikkimariet]

They’d have not lasted a week on my yard. Out.

 

[Esmae]

Basically if I tell them to leave I can see them and their family accusing me of purposely causing a mental health break down.
If I go in all guns blazing I think it will cause more angst. I was thinking of just being formal and using the excuse that we are buying more sheeps do don’t have the space.

Their mental health issues aren't your problem. Give them notice and enforce it.

 

[dominobrown]

Wait...what?! OP how is this even in doubt? You are worthy of much more respect than this. No one deserves to be treated this way, let alone on their own property.

Prep your notice in writing as per contract and then speak to them to serve it. Keep it unemotional (though you have every right to be angry!) and be a broken record. Don't get into responding to emotional blackmail or anything else, just keep on track. Then do the emotional bit with people who can support you.

This is how I managed when the lady I lodged with once turned into a 50 something child when I needed to give my notice, perfectly in line with our contract, and I still had to live with her until the notice was up. I'd be polite but straightforward and not get into the nonsense and then after each round of crap go and have a glass of wine in the local pub and bitch about it down the phone to a friend!

Also when I gave notice on my last share. I knew going in there was highly likely to be some BS, so while said BS was coming my way I literally just kept telling myself 'it's okay, we knew this would come' and weirdly it kept me focused, stopped me getting drawn in, and let it go over me so that I could walk away head high. I was pretty upset about it so again I saved that bit for when I was with my partner.

Thank you. My partner is also supportive and is also going round the bend with it.
I know there might be drama however, farrier/ dentist etc also get an idea when I am sorting the horse frantically for them and they have are asking where the owner is to pay them etc so I think a lot of gossip would be 'corrected' as well.

 

[neddy man]

They will have broken umpteen contract sections do not feel guilty, give them notice tomorrow, verbally, or with a phone conversations if they dont come to the yard, also by sms and an e email lf they have one and a printed one fastened to the stable door, all angles covered, make sure the notice includes removal of all their possessions etc.if you see them and they start conversation just say that's it and walk away. Please for your own sanity do it tomorrow do not put it off.

 

[neddy man]

Their mental health issues aren't your problem. Give them notice and enforce it.

Your mental health is , do it tomorrow.

 

[dominobrown]

They will have broken umpteen contract sections do not feel guilty, give them notice tomorrow, verbally, or with a phone conversations if they dont come to the yard, also by sms and an e email lf they have one and a printed one fastened to the stable door, all angles covered, make sure the notice includes removal of all their possessions etc.if you see them and they start conversation just say that's it and walk away. Please for your own sanity do it tomorrow do not put it off.

Than you for your reply and all the details etc!
This is the time of year its easy to move.
Also it would be better to her it from me than someone tell theming that I am thinking off hoofing them off.

 

[marmalade76]

She needs to go, that list got worse and worse as I went down it, I wouldn't have tolerated 90% of that ( ie her not turning up actually sounds preferable!) Just give her notice, don't make things up, if she wants to know why, just tell her the truth.

 

[Ambers Echo]

Oh my good god!! They need to go, 100%. They are totally out of order on soooo many counts, any 1 of which would be reason enough to get rid.

 

[SpotsandBays]

This doesn’t sound like a friend…
You’re being taken advantage of massively. That’s not what friends do

 

[dominobrown]

Oh my good god!! They need to go, 100%. They are totally out of order on soooo many counts, any 1 of which would be reason enough to get rid.

I don't think I could kick someone off for using my headcoller however its on the list and it annoys me.

 

[Fred66]

You are concerned about her mental health however you need to think of your own. If you have a hectic pressured work life then you need a stress free home life, otherwise your own mental health may well break.
Just tell her that unfortunately you need to give her notice as having [her as or just a] livery is no longer working for you. If she asks why then you can say it’s a combination of reasons but having talked it over with your partner you both feel you need your home to be just that your home and not a business. If you give her lists of what she is doing wrong then you give her something specific to focus and challenge.

 

[Dave's Mam]

I've just seen dog sh1t in the tack room. That's disgusting.

 

[Boulty]

I’m afraid I got halfway down the list and wondered why on earth you’re putting up with them. If you need the livery money there will be a que of people happy to take their place and cause you far less hassle!

 

[ponynutz]

Poor mental health does not excuse poor behaviour or mean you must put up with it - it only offers explanation.

 

[Beausmate]

I don't think I could kick someone off for using my headcollar however its on the list and it annoys me.

If it kept happening, it would drive me nuts! Oh boy, do you have a big heap of 'noes' on that list! Send her down the road - think how much better you'll feel without having to deal with all that sh1t. Literally!

 

[Lurfy]

She wouldn't get away with any of that where I keep my horse. She needs to join the real world and stop degrading your place. Storing her cra* in your empty stable, dog poo in the tack room, not turning up to horse appointments she made...She sounds like an over indulged child expecting mum to run around after her. You need to give notice and stop this asap. This must be badly impacting your quality of life on your property having her turn up all hours doing all manner of things. She needs to be shown the door.

 

[Jeni the dragon]

I don't think I could kick someone off for using my headcoller however its on the list and it annoys me.

I could! People using my things drives me mental! It's one of the main reasons I'm on a private yard.

 

[Birker2020]

Wow I'm lost for words. I always used to keep my stable and outside my stable immaculate and had the utmost respect for the y.o and fellow liveries.

 

[Cinnamontoast]

Just ensure you and your partner are then when she takes her stuff, otherwise I reckon you’ll be missing items once she’s gone, or lock up your stuff and put hers in the empty box.

 

[dominobrown]

Wow I'm lost for words. I always used to keep my stable and outside my stable immaculate and had the utmost respect for the y.o and fellow liveries.

I am quite laid back, though I do like a tidy yard.
It’s the lack of respect towards me and my poor horse that has really made me snap.
It’s the random new boyfriends etc coming to the yard, or people they barely know.

 

[Midlifecrisis]

Domino brown I’m a lovely livery and would never do these things…where in the north are you …I can move my three really quickly?. Lol

 

[Clodagh]

Now DB. DO IT NOW.
The hho collective wants an update this evening. Or we will be very disappointed in you.
Don’t give an excuse, just say you’ve decided to go to being a private yard. Letter. Date. Stick to it.

 

[dominobrown]

Domino brown I’m a lovely livery and would never do these things…where in the north are you …I can move my three really quickly?. Lol

I am in the Lake District. Got good hacking on and off road! It’s nice and peaceful when then isn’t randomers here.

Now DB. DO IT NOW.
The hho collective wants an update this evening. Or we will be very disappointed in you.
Don’t give an excuse, just say you’ve decided to go to being a private yard. Letter. Date. Stick to it.

With my new job as well I will have to declare a 2nd income and it’s really not worth the hassle of doing that considering everything!!

 

[Lurfy]

She might suggest she stays there free of charge, so you won't have to declare a second income.....

 

[gallopingby]

Basically if I tell them to leave I can see them and their family accusing me of purposely causing a mental health break down.
If I go in all guns blazing I think it will cause more angst. I was thinking of just being formal and using the excuse that we are buying more sheeps do don’t have the space.

Hope you have a better day. Once you’ve given them notice you’ll feel better and the sheep would be a good way out, would also help with the date. Sheep sales coming up and you can always borrow some for a few weeks.

 

[FFAQ]

Flipping heck OP, I thought I had endless patience but you definitely win! As someone who also avoids confrontation at any cost, I wish you luck with getting rid. Don't worry about the gossip- the person won't get it so good at any other yard and will soon make a name for themselves (if they haven't already). Nobody worth bothering with is going to believe negative gossip about you!

Just keep telling yourself that you're in for a bumpy ride getting rid, but you will come out from the other side and you will be so glad you did pluck up the courage to move them on!

 

[Errin Paddywack]

Hoping to hear a positive update tonight

 

[Ambers Echo]

I wouldn’t make up an excuse about sheep - if you give reasons std can counter them or come up with plans/ideas etc. If you are saying no to something someone wants, you don’t need them to agree with you! Or give a reason at all really. You just need to be a broken record: ‘we no longer want liveries so are giving notice as per contract… you will need to have vacated the yard by xxxx Any items left behind after that date will be disposed of. ‘

If she asks why say ‘because we no longer want liveries’ and repeat

 

[Flowerofthefen]

You've put up with more than any yard owner should. Give her polite notice in writing, giving a date you want her gone by. Stick by it no matter what. Plenty of great advice above. Good luck.