How would you react in this situation?

[Greylegs]

I have a 25yo retired Highland, who was in regular work until he injured a suspensory 3 years ago. He's in good health generally, is as sound as he needs to be to potter about in the field and living a nice life at a lovely livery yard with the company of another retired pony. I haven't ridden him since his injury. He's turned out most of the time now, but comes in every few days for a groom and a "rest" in his stable (he normally sleeps when he's in!). Sunday was one of those days. He was brought in first thing for a snooze: I planned to go and see him in the afternoon, which I did. All's good.

Except, that evening I received a FB message from a lady who I've known for ages but not particularly close friends with, who has an occasional share arrangement with her friend, another livery - she rides the other horse from time to time. She had been up to the yard that morning to see her friend/have a ride on the other horse. The message effectively said "I hope you don't mind, but I let <insert name of her small child> have a little sit on <insert name of my pony> ... she loved it and he was such a good boy. We gave him loads of treats " ..... along pics of child sitting on my pony in his stable - no head collar etc but lots of smiley faces. She didn't ask, just went ahead. The pony is fine, of course (he's built like a tank, but has lost a lot of top line and muscle due to not being worked for three years).

How would you react if that had been your pony?

 

[AWinter]

I would hit the roof tbh but genuinely don’t know what I would reply.

 

[Roxylola]

Id be raging. I'd be telling her, the other livery, and the yard manager/owner that nobody is to be sitting on your pony
Edit to add - she knew you'd say no if asked, that's why you got a message after not a phone call or message first. So she's done it this way in the hope the pics would make you go oh how lovely help yourself any time

 

[scats]

I would go absolutely mental!

 

[Dam1]

I'd of been very cross - and let her know it Blimmin nerve of some people. X

 

[SEL]

My retiree could well have put her small child and her in hospital doing that!

 

[Wizpop]

I would have been shocked as a starter! And definitely not a happy bunny. So many things that are just wrong here, both from the safety of the child and the health/welfare of your horse. The fact that she didn’t ask just beggars belief

 

[Lady Jane]

I would be raging

 

[cauda equina]

I'd be furious too, probably more about the giving of treats than the sit but both, done without your permission, are a bally cheek

 

[HopOnTrot]

I would send it to YO, state it’s not acceptable and ask them to deal with it.

What a bloody cheek

 

[HuskyFluff]

I'd be furious.

 

[AmyMay]

I’d go apoplectic!!!!!

 

[AppyLover1996]

If she tried that stunt with my Appy cross, she'd have ended up with a child needing an ambulance ride.

If you want/feel the need to reply, I would reply with something along the lines of :

"Hi, I appreciate that your little one loved the opportunity to sit on my pony, however I'd appreciate you letting me know what you were hoping to do, just so that I could be there My lad is retired so not really used to being ridden anymore and I would hate for anything to have happened. Thank you for rewarding him with some treats - I bet he enjoyed them!"

 

[The Xmas Furry]

I would have sent back:

Thank you for letting me know. No, I'm not happy about it and yes, I do mind. My pony is retired.
I do not expect random children to be put on or around him in his stable or field.
I am equally furious that you then saw fit to feed my pony treats, lots of them.
Never feed someone elses animal without permission and finally, never attempt to put anyone on someone elses horse or pony without permission.

 

[AandK]

I would have sent back:

Thank you for letting me know. No, I'm not happy about it and yes, I do mind. My pony is retired.
I do not expect random children to be put on or around him in his stable or field.
I am equally furious that you then saw fit to feed my pony treats, lots of them.
Never feed someone elses animal without permission and finally, never attempt to put anyone on someone elses horse or pony without permission.

100% this!!

 

[Vodkagirly]

I would reply,
yes I do mind, I do not feed treats and putting a child on an unknown horse is both dangerous and unacceptable. Please do not handle my horse again.

 

[Sprogladite01]

The fact it's not even another livery but someone who is mates with them who is occasionally there just means lines need to be even more clearly drawn. I'd absolutely lose the plot on this cheeky f'er. Does she know anything about your pony, why he's retired, what injury he might have, if he'd react well to having a small person placed on his back? TFF's reply above is perfect (except I'd probably cut out the thank you - people like this don't need niceness/fluffiness lol. But I'm a bit of a raging bull when I've lost my temper...). And have serious serious words with the yard manager, the person she shares with and anyone else on the yard who will listen. I'm honestly so outraged on your behalf!!

 

[cauda equina]

I wonder if she puts her child on/feeds other horses at the yard too?
Maybe she thinks that having the occasional share of one horse entitles her to mess around with every horse on the yard

 

[Sandstone1]

I have a companion pony who had that been done to him could have reacted very badly and child could have ended up in hospital or worse..... What would they have done if it had gone badly. I would be beyond furious . I would reply and also complain to livery owner. You need to put a very firm stop to it.

 

[KittenInTheTree]

As a nuclear option, you could forward the message and the photos to social services, voicing your concern for the child's safety. Especially if they weren't wearing any safety gear. But I'm not really a people person.

 

[holeymoley]

Omg absolutely raging ballistic!! Get her told!

I’ll comment more rationally when I’ve calmed down. I have no idea how you kept your cool.

 

[holeymoley]

If she tried that stunt with my Appy cross, she'd have ended up with a child needing an ambulance ride.

If you want/feel the need to reply, I would reply with something along the lines of :

"Hi, I appreciate that your little one loved the opportunity to sit on my pony, however I'd appreciate you letting me know what you were hoping to do, just so that I could be there My lad is retired so not really used to being ridden anymore and I would hate for anything to have happened. Thank you for rewarding him with some treats - I bet he enjoyed them!"

Far too soft a reply

 

[Alibear]

I'd be very annoyed, but I'd reply with the goal of getting them not to do it again.
So, a polite reply along the lines of "Thanks for letting me know, but please don't do that again. XXX is retired, not to be sat on by anyone, and comes in for a rest; also, please do not feed him, as his diet is monitored.

 

[Mrs. Jingle]

You have all said exactly the same as I would have on that situation. I would also go with The Fuzzy Fury's reply but without the very polite bit at the start of message, but then I am not such a nice person as FF. What a flipping nerve!

 

[Arzada]

How would you react if that had been your pony?

She would know for sure never ever to even think about a repeat.

Hi, I appreciate that your little one loved the opportunity to sit on my pony, however I'd appreciate you letting me know what you were hoping to do, just so that I could be there My lad is retired so not really used to being ridden anymore and I would hate for anything to have happened. Thank you for rewarding him with some treats - I bet he enjoyed them!

I don't think the OP has any appreciation of any aspect of this entitled person's behaviour. I certainly wouldn't have any appreciation at all. Really, there is absolutely nothing whatsoever to appreciate.

 

[Patterdale]

If she tried that stunt with my Appy cross, she'd have ended up with a child needing an ambulance ride.

If you want/feel the need to reply, I would reply with something along the lines of :

"Hi, I appreciate that your little one loved the opportunity to sit on my pony, however I'd appreciate you letting me know what you were hoping to do, just so that I could be there My lad is retired so not really used to being ridden anymore and I would hate for anything to have happened. Thank you for rewarding him with some treats - I bet he enjoyed them!"

Why on Earth would you be polite? No part of this demands a polite/people pleasing response in any way.

 

[onemoretime]

And what if something had happened???

 

[Patterdale]

As a nuclear option, you could forward the message and the photos to social services, voicing your concern for the child's safety. Especially if they weren't wearing any safety gear. But I'm not really a people person.

Social services would file this under ‘malicious time waster’ and get back to using their depleted resources for children actually at risk.
After they’d wasted 30-60 mins filing and documenting it as per policy.

Don’t be daft.

 

[Titchy Reindeer]

I'm afraid my answer would be less than diplomatic:

I very much do mind and can't believe you were stupid enough to put you child at risk like that. Please stay away from my pony in future and I will forward you any vet bills that might incur from the disruption to his routine and diet.

 

[Orangina]

Oh I think I'm alone in that I wouldn't actually have minded but at the same time I don't find their actions safe and wouldn't recommend doing that and also woupd never do something like that myself but maybe because i know my horses I can't say I would be raging about it. Would definitely think it was a bit of a weird thing for them to have done though and again would probably say that I don't think they should do it again from a safety point of view but wouldn't be mad