I just bought my first cob! Introduction + feed advice + photos!

AmyMay

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I hadn't thought of that. That is a brilliant idea.

Are they tricky to set up?

That just sent a wave of relief. I just want to get it together so I can stay here.
I’ve never had one, but people seem to rate them. And providing you pick up dog poo daily, you can just send it on its merry way every couple of days 😀
 

gallopingby

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I imagine if you contacted a sales company and explained your situation or asked someone else to they would do it for you. Sometimes you can get them to come out and do a demo or your lovely neighbour could. I have a hyundi battery operated mower which l use to keep one patch of grass looking ok It’s really light and so easy to manage compared to the big heavy petrol one for the rest. I’m thinking of upgrading to a bigger battery one but also have someone who brings a ride on mower and does the lot from time to time. If you could find a regular gardener just to do the grass l would go with that but agree they’re difficult to find.
 

J&S

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Re robot mowers: a friend has two for his large lawned areas. They work really hard and just dock themselves when finished. These ones run on (invisible) tracks set up by the company selling them, this was not a cheap operation but well worth while for him as he had to spend 5 hours on his ride- on prior to this!

Re a mower for a smaller lawn: I am way older than you but can't compare cronkyness! My partner is now unable to move because of a condition he contracted last year. Therefore all physical labour left to me. I mow with a small electric mower and a long cable, it is not difficult to keep the cable out of the way and i can do both lawns, one after another, one takes about 20 minutes and the other one 30 -40 mins. I find the growth of the shrubs and bushes more of a challenge than the mowing.

As difficult as it may be, do keep up as much of your horse training and general riding as possible, even if you are not gaining sustenance from it right now it will be so important for the future. Don't send the horses away unless you absolutely have to.
 

AandK

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Red-1, it was quite a shock to read the update on your post, I can't even begin to imagine what you are going through. I am so very sorry for your loss.
 

Red-1

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I have stopped now as I am exhausted. I went cycling with my neighbour, we were just going to do 6 miles but once I was cycling it felt good and we did 14.

Back at home, the same neighbour and her husband have come and blitzed the garden. All cut, strimmed, brushed, pruned. Then they and another friend with her husband have helped me get to grips with the tractor, and I have cut the big lawn myself. It is a crap cut, but it is done. I only caught one light on a tree, which I am easy with myself about right now and will get mended. The other friend's husband is, as we speak, cutting my main hedge. The whole place just looks so much more under control and less overwhelming.

The horses are staying here, my pro friend yesterday just came to scope them out in case I crash and burn.

Some things got done today!
 
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CanteringCarrot

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It sounds as though you have a lovely network of helpers around you, and that's great.

The robot mowers are quite popular in Germany. They go out frequently or daily and just dock themselves when finished. You can buy little shelters for the docking stations too. I've seen some that are reasonably priced. I'd definitely consider one for your application.
 
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Maxidoodle

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Robert mowers are huge here (Denmark), they’re not tricky to set up. You basically buy the size for your garden and lay down a boundary wire that comes with the mower, the mower won’t go outside the boundary wire. I don’t know if all of them have it but I know of some that have an inbuilt security, so that if someone tried to take it, it won’t work, as it’s removed from the boundary etc. This is quite a good little video to show you the basics.

You're doing amazing by the way, I’m so pleased you have a network of people around you. x
 

cauda equina

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I am sorry; I hope the information you need comes soon, and that it helps

This might be completely not your thing, but have you considered counselling - maybe through an organisation such as Cruse?
After a different sort of loss I was adamant that I didn't want or need counselling but have actually found it tremendously useful
 

Red-1

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I am sorry; I hope the information you need comes soon, and that it helps

This might be completely not your thing, but have you considered counselling - maybe through an organisation such as Cruse?
After a different sort of loss I was adamant that I didn't want or need counselling but have actually found it tremendously useful
I have. I have actually made some enquiries already but have not heard anything back. It was a traumatic night, and then the realisation of the loss.
 

SilverLinings

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I am sorry that you didn't hear anything today about the PM, but I expect that you are right and they have to formally report it in writing. I hope that you don't have to wait too much longer for the results.

It sounds like you have a good team of friends and neighbours helping with the practical things at the moment, and going for bike and horse rides sounds like a good way to try to address your mental health needs, or just give you time to think of nothing other than the task in hand.

I can't think of any helpful advice to give but I would agree with the others who have suggested a robot lawnmower; we are looking into buying some at work as staff have given such positive feedback on the ones they have at home. My boss is the most un-technical and un-practical person, and they still managed to set up theirs successfully so you should find it a breeze if you decide to get one! My current garden isn't suitable but I will look into it when I next move house as cutting the grass seems to constantly need doing at this time of year.

I hope that BH and Rigsby (and your little dogs) are looking after you and providing some welcome distraction x
 

SilverLinings

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I have. I have actually made some enquiries already but have not heard anything back. It was a traumatic night, and then the realisation of the loss.
I am sure you are aware of this but the Samaritans are there 24/7 if you feel alone in the middle of the night and just need to talk. They are there for people to talk about anything that concerns them, and although it isn't the same as regular sessions with a consistent counsellor you may find it a help in the small hours if you need company, even if you aren't sure exactly what you want to talk about (or where to start).
 

SaddlePsych'D

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I'm not sure there's any additional advice I can give just now as you've had lots of suggestions already, but did want to let you know that you are still very much in my thoughts Red.
 

Miss_Millie

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Oh my goodness Red, I have just caught up on this thread and I'm so heartbroken for you...there are no words, I'm so very very sorry. I remember when you first brought Rigsby home and have thoroughly enjoyed all of your updates about him on here, especially the anecdotes involving Mr. Red, who clearly adored Rigs as much as you did. I have nothing to say of any use, but wanted to tell you that I am so sorry for your loss and that you are very much in my thoughts.
 

Cloball

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If you would like to ask any questions about post mortems feel free to PM me although the coroner's officers should update you when they get the cause of death if one can be offered and no further investigations are needed.
 

Northern

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Red-1, I have been a silent but amused reader throughout this thread.
I am so sorry to hear of Mr Red, he always featured as a stalwart and your affection came out in the way you wrote about him.
I am so glad to hear you have support around you, people can be amazing in times like these.
Happy to add to offers of a random person to talk to if you are awake at night, being over the other side of the world I am around.
Thinking of you over here. There are no words for a situation like this, but you just have to muddle through as best you can (and you are!).
 

Annagain

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Oh Red, I’ve been away for a few days so not logged on. I’m so so sorry to hear this news. Your wonderful relationship with Mr Red, as you called him on here shone through your posts. I hope Rigsby and BH horse are providing distraction if not comfort. It sounds like you have some lovely friends.

Sending a cwtch.
 

Red-1

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Crying started early today so I got up. It is weird, no rhyme or reason. Either I'm crying or I/m not and sometimes I don't realise and sometimes it is overwhelming.

Today David's bosses come to visit. I know they will want his work ID back, and I didn't really want to give it as it has his photo on, but I know I have to, so I took a photo of the card while I have it. I don't know how much uniform they will want back, or even where it all is, but I suspect the cards will be the most important, for security. A bit more of him ripped away.

I did email some queries to the boss, not had a reply. Not sure if the email didn't go through or if they will be addressing my queries today. I would have preferred to know that the got the email, even if it was just to say, "we will address that tomorrow."

With all the hedge cutting and then heavy rain, the boys only went out for 5 hours yesterday. They had the patio though, so not boxed up.

Today's goals include swimming and I am also going to give driving a go. My neighbour who I usually go with, and who has been such a star, will be with me. Another time out of the gates.

It is a possibility that I can hand David's new car straight back in the cooling off period. I have asked for my options in writing. I would really like to keep it as it is his, and it is gorgeous, but I still struggle to comprehend spending so much on a car I will do less than 5,000 miles a year in. I can afford it, but would not have chosen it myself at that price. I am still sitting with that one. I'm using my own car today as I am on auto pilot and mine is familiar so I will be safer. It is also a short and familiar trip.

If it goes well today driving, I may try for the post office tomorrow. It would be too much today.

If I get off my ass and do horses promptly, I may try for a solo bike ride before the bosses come as both trips outside the gates have been accompanied. I sound so pathetic, to say I was a confident and independent person. Small steps. I also need to start a list as I have been doing stuff in a kind of reactionary and scattergun way. But then, it has only been 4 1/2 days.

I can't believe how dehydrated I am. I can't think I lose that much in tears, but then I also seem to be sweating a lot. I guess my adrenal system is on high alert. I am having a couple of pints of rehydration mix a day, as well as tea and coffee. I had my first alcohol last night, a glass of wine. I wanted to raise a toast to all of the wonderful people who had come to help me.

Thank you to all who have commented.
 

gallopingby

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Hope you’ve had some breakfast Red? Coffee and cake maybe or try some toast with butter and jam / marmalade? I’m sure the car people will understand if you’ve emailed them, when l wasn’t well last year and had just bought a new one the guys mine came from were really helpful, got back to me straightaway with options. Although things turned out ok it was good to know they would go with whatever l wanted. I think they’re often messed about so they like to try hard when circumstances are genuine. Do you have a friendly GP around they may be able to help as well? Still raining here but hoping it will stop soon.
 

Red-1

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Hope you’ve had some breakfast Red? Coffee and cake maybe or try some toast with butter and jam / marmalade? I’m sure the car people will understand if you’ve emailed them, when l wasn’t well last year and had just bought a new one the guys mine came from were really helpful, got back to me straightaway with options. Although things turned out ok it was good to know they would go with whatever l wanted. I think they’re often messed about so they like to try hard when circumstances are genuine. Do you have a friendly GP around they may be able to help as well? Still raining here but hoping it will stop soon.
My GP is useless, sadly. I don't think I need a medical person though. I am going to try to access some counselling.
 

gallopingby

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Shame about your GP, it’s difficult, they tend to be either good or bad at the moment. I changed mine recently after comments / nagging from friends who are medics and told me just to go online and get organised fill in a change form.
After being messed about for nearly a year and always having to wait at least a week l couldn’t believe it when l phoned them, spoke to a receptionist with a complicated request and was phoned back by one of the GPS within an hour. She sorted things straight away! Worth considering if a change is possible just in case you need them.
 
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