If you had your time again, would you bother with horses?

[FlyingCircus]

Been thinking about this recently. I've been riding since I was 4 (I'm 29) and have had bad luck after bad luck. Most recently I have a gelding who has undiagnosed lameness (suspected laminitis) only Jan/Feb for last 2 years and my mare has had what feels like every test under the sun for various things since I've had her...had a full MOT good to go, only to have ended up in colic surgery 2 weeks ago.

I'm down a lot of time, money and heartache. I love them both dearly and would never part with them, but if it weren't for the fact I already had them I would have given up long ago.

Does anyone else feel the same way? I'm a little sad at feeling this way but if I haven't managed to have 1 fun season in the last 10 years of owning and the many years of loaning before then...why do it to ourselves!?

 

[Red-1]

I found that it is more a need than a want for me. Like a physical and mental need.

Don't get me wrong, it costs a bomb and takes your soul, but it fulfils that need for me.

 

[FlyingCircus]

I found that it is more a need than a want for me. Like a physical and mental need.

Don't get me wrong, it costs a bomb and takes your soul, but it fulfils that need for me.

I have no idea it its a need or a want for me ? I've had max 2 weeks horse free time whilst on holiday for all those years. So who knows if I'd miss it!?

I think I could get behind just having schoolmaster lessons and riding for other people. Less costly and probably get more out of it!

 

[sport horse]

I had my first horse when I was 16 and have had horses ever since. I have good ones, some very very good ones and some disasters. It all makes you who you are. I joined the Pony Club and then a riding club and joined in everything including being on all the committees. Similarly with BS. I met my husband through horse sport. Sadly, I lost my husband too young. My friends and the horse world stepped in and made me live again. No, I would never want to be without a connection to the horse world even if that did not involve owning a horse.

 

[milliepops]

I had my fill of bad luck and crap experiences last winter and was ready to walk away for a bit. But a new ride came along and i pressed ahead. This morning I was thinking about when my homebred now 2yo was born and it made me tear up, I bloody love horses and I couldn't imagine life without them. Yes 100% I'd do it all again, the rough makes the smooth so much sweeter and there's nothing else I've ever done that compares, even remotely ?

 

[TPO]

Are you me?

I had the same run of bad luck, amongst other things, and spent my 20s as a nurse maid to horses while sitting on the sidelines or playing groom as all my friends went and did all the fun things.

It is hard going and with the experience of hindsight I'd have made certain calls sooner, not listened to certain vets and moved on quicker. But alas I don't have a time machine

I've got a cracking wee horse who's been pretty low maintenance but after most of my 20s & 30s were "wasted" with broken horses (& more so "dreams" and ambitions) I've been left without a motivated or competitive bone in my body. I just like my horse and I like faffing with him and doing what I want to do when I want to do it.

Every so often I'll gee myself up and make all these plans to do/attend X, Y & Z but when it comes to it I simply don't want to do it.

I'm lucky that I have the best of both worlds as my horse is now kept at my parents. So if I want a few days off/cover or to go out and not need to do early mornings etc they live on site and sort him for me. Kinda all the good bits without so many of the sacrifices. If I was still on livery things might have been very different.

It is hard and I'm still not over losing one of my mares in 2010 and often get dragged back into that rabbit hole. It's hard to accept that time is gone.

What I would say is thst I've learnt time is precious and fast. So if you want to have a horse to do X with do it and if you don't want to have horses pull the plaster off quick. The time will pass anyway so as much as possible do what makes you happiest long term

 

[dogatemysalad]

Only if I could be born in the same era. Riding in the 60s was a carefree existence for horses and riders. The roads were quieter and it was easier to find places to ride. Few people had horse transport, so most competitions were within hacking distance, particularly if you asked a farmer to let you cross his fields. Horses weren't kept in individual paddocks on livery yards and matchy bling merchandise didn't exist. Young kids had more freedom to play from dawn till dusk whilst learning how not to kill themselves.
Horseownership today is more stressful with livery yards offering less turnout particularly herd TO. Vets seem to rely on diagnostic tests, rather than skill and experience, partly thanks to the horse insurance industry.
Also, today, many owners seem to be so serious about going to clinics and competitions and buying contraptions to ensure their horse works in an idealised frame. Whatever happened to just having fun ?
If I was starting out in this era, I'd only do so, if I lived in a place with a horse friendly culture and my own land.

 

[Skib]

Well I didnt ride from the time I married till 9/11 when many people realised it was now or never.
My experience as a late starter means OP you can take a break now and come back to riding in 10 or 20 years time.
My only great warning which would be echoed by my GP is not to put on weight. It is weight and not age that stresses your ankles and maybe your hips as well?

I too was shocked by the culture of competing and rosettes, but neither are compulsory. With the spring weather like this, one can allow oneself to go out and play Pony Club happiness.

 

[scats]

Horses pretty much saved my life and I wouldn’t be what I am today without them. I’ve had some of the worst luck in the world with them, but I’ve also had some of the best times ever that I will never forget.
Its like an addiction that I’ve got absolutely no control over.

 

[sbloom]

Yes, 100%. But I'd do things very very differently knowing what I know now.

 

[BBP]

Are you me?

I had the same run of bad luck, amongst other things, and spent my 20s as a nurse maid to horses while sitting on the sidelines or playing groom as all my friends went and did all the fun things.

It is hard going and with the experience of hindsight I'd have made certain calls sooner, not listened to certain vets and moved on quicker. But alas I don't have a time machine

I've got a cracking wee horse who's been pretty low maintenance but after most of my 20s & 30s were "wasted" with broken horses (& more so "dreams" and ambitions) I've been left without a motivated or competitive bone in my body. I just like my horse and I like faffing with him and doing what I want to do when I want to do it.

Every so often I'll gee myself up and make all these plans to do/attend X, Y & Z but when it comes to it I simply don't want to do it.

I'm lucky that I have the best of both worlds as my horse is now kept at my parents. So if I want a few days off/cover or to go out and not need to do early mornings etc they live on site and sort him for me. Kinda all the good bits without so many of the sacrifices. If I was still on livery things might have been very different.

It is hard and I'm still not over losing one of my mares in 2010 and often get dragged back into that rabbit hole. It's hard to accept that time is gone.

What I would say is thst I've learnt time is precious and fast. So if you want to have a horse to do X with do it and if you don't want to have horses pull the plaster off quick. The time will pass anyway so as much as possible do what makes you happiest long term

And you might be me!

Some of the best bits of my life have been with horses so no I would never wish them away. They have been part of my adventures around the world. That said, I’ve had nothing but trouble with BBP since buying him as a 3yo (he’s nearly 17 now). He has killed every competitive part of me. But I love every inch of him, I’m a better person because of him. I very much feared that if I lost him I would lose heart and give up. I love horses but I love the relationship with them, I have zero urge to ride someone else’s. So I bought a yearling thinking it would help to motivate me to stay involved with horses. And then at just 20 months he ruptured his tendon. He may never be okay to be ridden (although given that for the last 5 days he has escaped every day and taken himself off for adventures, he’s obviously made of tough stuff!). But if he can’t I will just spend the rest of my life looking after him and not riding.

 

[maisie06]

Been thinking about this recently. I've been riding since I was 4 (I'm 29) and have had bad luck after bad luck. Most recently I have a gelding who has undiagnosed lameness (suspected laminitis) only Jan/Feb for last 2 years and my mare has had what feels like every test under the sun for various things since I've had her...had a full MOT good to go, only to have ended up in colic surgery 2 weeks ago.

I'm down a lot of time, money and heartache. I love them both dearly and would never part with them, but if it weren't for the fact I already had them I would have given up long ago.

Does anyone else feel the same way? I'm a little sad at feeling this way but if I haven't managed to have 1 fun season in the last 10 years of owning and the many years of loaning before then...why do it to ourselves!?

Absolutley not! One of my biggest regrets in life was getting involved with horses, struggling to pay for them and ploughing in money I should have been saving towards a mortgage, I'm now the wrong side of 50, renting, could be kicked out anytime, no time to pursue a proper job so always did low end menial stuff to pay for the horses. I did have one horse I had a bond with but lost him at a young age, I think I then just kept drifting through, buying and selling them just to find another special one....then the winters got harder and wetter and my weight rocketed so I finally sold up....I wouldn't have another if it was free....

My second biggest regret is not getting a proper education and a good job and leaving the UK.....Honestly my whole life is one big regret, I actually wish I had never been born...

 

[WispyBegs]

Yes I absolutely would.

I’ve had my share of awful experiences and heartbreak with horses but the good days, the breakthroughs and happy moments make it all worth it. I wouldn’t want to live any other way…

 

[MotherOfChickens]

yes-but while I had ponies up until I left school, then worked with horses for another 12 years before going to uni at 28, I didn't own my own until I was 36-so I had a long break from owning and had already learned by my early 20s that I would never have enough money to compete, run transport etc.
so competing has never been the be all and end all for me and actually, find most 'traditional' horse disciplines quite dull. Had I discovered horse archery or working equitation back in the day it would have been more fun than forcing myself to go showing etc. I did get on the housing ladder at 25 though.

 

[Stenners]

Yes absolutely. I've had so much heartache, nasty falls, no money, endless vet bills but the good times really outweigh the bad.

 

[Pearlsasinger]

Yes. I don't keep horses to compete, I keep horses to have horses. I have made some very strong, long-lasting friendships through horses, as well as having loads more acquaintances than I otherwise would have.
The horse I had, who we eventually found was being made ill by her feed, has been instrumental in changing the lives/health of more than one person, including my own.
I have lost a foal and 3 adult horses long before what should have been the end of their natural life but have learned something from each of them.
And I have had many, many years of fun and enjoyment and been able include various roles with RDA in my CV.

 

[skint1]

I am in a rather dark rut with horses and likely my current one, who remains unrideable, will be my last due to my age, the rising costs of buying and keeping them, the way livery yards are changing, even on my own yard I increasingly feel like I don't belong anymore. Also, I could have been a better partner, mother, grandmother and friend if my time wasn't so taken up by the horses, but they have always filled the emptiness I have in me, given my life a structure. So i don't regret a minute of the time or a penny of the money i have spent and I would do it again, but I don't see a future in it for me.

 

[Baywonder]

Oh gosh yes, 100%

Like most things in life, there have been good times to enjoy, and bad ones to struggle through. Also, if I had not been completely horsey obsessed, I would not have met my DH all those years ago! ?

 

[Asha]

Absolutely wouldnt change a thing. Had my share of ups and downs, as most horse owners do. Thats just the nature of the beast.
My only horsey regret is not being good enough to do the SJ side of things at a decent level. I just dont seem to have the right balance. But ive learnt to enjoy other aspects of horse ownership, you just cant beat spending a sunny afternoon in the field grooming /watching the horses. Its what keeps me sane.

ETA : Maisie06 , please talk to someone if you are feeling that low. Im here ( not that i can offer advice or anything ) if you need a shoulder/ear x

 

[MuddyMonster]

100% yes.

Its not always been easy or without difficulties but I've not regretted having horses in my life. They've bought so much in so many ways.

@maisie06 I couldn't read your comment without responding. I'm so sorry you feel that way about your life, do you have someone you can talk to about how your feeling & help you find move forwards?

 

[tristar]

dreams are horses and horses are dreams for me, this life would be a duller place without the magic, beauty and companionship of horses

the good bits shine and the shite bits fade, i have been very lucky and now being older i have support and help from two people who are devoted to the horses, and they in their turn love them.

there has been times when i lived on a knifes edge, because of horses but i always found a way through because of the horses, i would be lazy, fat er, and possibly not learned how to be resourceful without them

i would say that having your own yard at home is the biggest help and the horses gave me motivation to earn and try to get on

 

[palo1]

Absolutley not! One of my biggest regrets in life was getting involved with horses, struggling to pay for them and ploughing in money I should have been saving towards a mortgage, I'm now the wrong side of 50, renting, could be kicked out anytime, no time to pursue a proper job so always did low end menial stuff to pay for the horses. I did have one horse I had a bond with but lost him at a young age, I think I then just kept drifting through, buying and selling them just to find another special one....then the winters got harder and wetter and my weight rocketed so I finally sold up....I wouldn't have another if it was free....

My second biggest regret is not getting a proper education and a good job and leaving the UK.....Honestly my whole life is one big regret, I actually wish I had never been born...

I am really sorry you feel like this. Do you think you feel particularly bad at the moment? If you really are feeling full of regret and sadness it might be a good idea to talk to someone as that may help you to feel better about some of those experiences and where you are at right now. It is never too late to take up more education too! (One of my oldest and most successful students was in her late 70's when she started College).

 

[Chianti]

I wouldn't have bought my current pony. Much as I love him he's very high maintenance and costs a fortune to keep. I was hoping to spend my retirement doing new things with my life but it's obviously not to be. At this point I'd probably be perfectly happy with something a nice share to hack out a couple of times a week.

 

[MystieMoo]

Absolutley not! One of my biggest regrets in life was getting involved with horses, struggling to pay for them and ploughing in money I should have been saving towards a mortgage, I'm now the wrong side of 50, renting, could be kicked out anytime, no time to pursue a proper job so always did low end menial stuff to pay for the horses. I did have one horse I had a bond with but lost him at a young age, I think I then just kept drifting through, buying and selling them just to find another special one....then the winters got harder and wetter and my weight rocketed so I finally sold up....I wouldn't have another if it was free....

My second biggest regret is not getting a proper education and a good job and leaving the UK.....Honestly my whole life is one big regret, I actually wish I had never been born...

Also the wrong side of fifty - 51 in July - and renting due to massive costs of daughter's horsey life. I am hoping to start a small horse transport business once she goes off to university in 18 months time. But yes, feel I've got to 50 with not a lot to show for it. I don't have regrets, just wish I'd managed it all better and been more sensible.
So sorry to hear you feel so despondent ☹

 

[clinkerbuilt]

I missed horses all the time I was away from them (20 odd years) and wished I could have spent more time with at least part of my life invested in them during that time. But sometimes it's a difficult balance or choice, and building a non-equestrian career is necessary when you don't come from an equestrian family or area. I wish horses were more accessible to all for mental and physical health, especially on the edge of urban areas.

 

[AShetlandBitMeOnce]

I love horses, it will always be the one thing that I desire to do above all else, however if I hadn't had horses I would be in a much better position in life than I am now.
Not including loans/part loans, the years I owned my own horses I had £25k vets bills and both horses ended up being PTS (that's after the insurances ran out, they were insured), plus an average of £600pcm, plus lets say £2k per year unexpected costs, plus £5k horsebox running costs not inc purchase price as I sold it for what it bought it for, plus again £6k of horse purchase costs (I only ever had cheap horses purchase wise).. that's £91,200 I would be better off. That's very nearly 1/3 of my mortgage - and I'm 'only' 26, it's a lifechanging amount.

Not to mention I wouldn't have broken fractured my spine, or have a bulging disc in my neck, nor have had 4+ bad concussions, broken ribs and fingers, I would have one more toenail..

That being said, I wouldn't be half the person I am - horse riding/owning has taught me so many life lessons, shaped my personality, given me unforgettable memories that I still think it's the best thing in the world, but if I could start again and never sit on one or find that love for them I probably would.

 

[Archangel]

I would, if I could have the same horse. He was with me from 4 years to nearly 37. What I didn't need was the 4 other horses (who were totally fab as well, but just the one horse at a time would have done).

What I would do is send back the horse that I got from a dealer that tried to kill me many times in that first year. It really wasn't worth it and I should have just sent him back and got a different horse. Pride literally does come before a fall. Said horse is now 29 and long since given up trying to kill me.

 

[dorsetladette]

I'd of done it very differently. But I couldn't imagine life without them. I would of moulded my career around horses or the equine world in someway.

 

[Blanche]

If I could do my time again I would have my own horses but would not work with horses. I loved working with horses, most of the time, and had some great experiences over the years. But it was all to the detriment of my life in the end. Big regrets there. At the moment it seems as though I am never going to get the security I have yearned for since I was a very young child. Horses make my soul sing and if I hadn’t had them in my life I don’t think I would have lasted.

 

[ycbm]

I found that it is more a need than a want for me. Like a physical and mental need.

Don't get me wrong, it costs a bomb and takes your soul, but it fulfils that need for me.

Me too. I liken it to an addiction.