Apizz2019
Well-Known Member
Not so much action per se but they have reffered her complaint to an independent panel or something - I may not have the terminology correct but it's been referred.
Thanks so much! ??
Info needed - Livery gone bad
- Thread starter Apizz2019
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Not so much action per se but they have reffered her complaint to an independent panel or something - I may not have the terminology correct but it's been referred.
Thanks so much! ??
cremedemonthe
Well-Known Member
As a man, I am sick of this individual and wonder why no men around the women involved have not put him in A & E, God help him if he ever came this way.
He would have his justice here.
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Apizz2019
Well-Known Member
I've wondered this too! I know of one lady whose partner knew and did nothing! I'm quite sure many of the females over the years must have had partners and they must have known. But it seems they did nothing!
I don't get it.
Pinkvboots
Well-Known Member
If he came near me he would regret it and I agree the men around me would never let this individual get away with it.
SOS
Well-Known Member
OP I have been following this thread as after recent events with Gracies murder really upset me and gave me a slight distrust that our forces are taking stalking seriously.
However I am concerned about the amount of details you have given about your friend. If anyone knew the situation in real life they’d be able to track it very easily on here, you’ve even mentioned her work pattern in the last few posts. Please please be careful he might claim to be ‘not internet savvy’ but that could of been a clever ploy. Or someone who believes his side may see this and report back. Lots of people watch this forum that aren’t members (Hi there people in RL who think I don’t realise this).
If he knows she is helpless and the police aren’t doing anything that’s quite worrying.
This has reminded me to be a bit more coy about what I’m doing/where I am going to people I don’t know well. You never know if there is hidden intention.
However I am concerned about the amount of details you have given about your friend. If anyone knew the situation in real life they’d be able to track it very easily on here, you’ve even mentioned her work pattern in the last few posts. Please please be careful he might claim to be ‘not internet savvy’ but that could of been a clever ploy. Or someone who believes his side may see this and report back. Lots of people watch this forum that aren’t members (Hi there people in RL who think I don’t realise this).
If he knows she is helpless and the police aren’t doing anything that’s quite worrying.
This has reminded me to be a bit more coy about what I’m doing/where I am going to people I don’t know well. You never know if there is hidden intention.
Apizz2019
Well-Known Member
Hi, thanks for your concern.
I haven't mentioned her work pattern? But also haven't given any details she's not happy to share.
He isn't internet savvy at all, he has no family, very few friends etc and doesn't even own a mobile phone.
Because of his public behaviour, many many people know who my friend is and what the situation is, sadly.
The purpose of this post was to glean information but I take on board your comments ?
Velcrobum
Well-Known Member
You have in a recent post said she has a partner who works night shifts. What is his take on the situation and why is he not getting involved with supporting her??
Apizz2019
Well-Known Member
The farmer knows this as my friend was possibly a little more open than she would have been, if she had known he was as bonkers as he is. Hence why I've said this info is already known.
Her partner is supporting her in the way she wants him to, not by taking matters into his own hands, which is not what she wants.
Regandal
Well-Known Member
Why not? If the police aren’t doing anything, I’d quite happily send the boys round.
Apizz2019
Well-Known Member
That's not the way she's inclined and that's her decision I guess, though I disagree. Her partner is also not in the best of health.
smolmaus
Well-Known Member
He may be more likely to be physically violent towards her partner. If he still has delusions of romance with your friend he may not, and has not so far, escalated beyond intimidation and harassment. I think your friend is right to try and avoid an escalation to physical violence as much as possible.
benz
Well-Known Member
My husband did this after I was attacked by a gang of about 10 lads (adults mind) in my own workplace/home. They broke in. My husband received a suspended jail sentence the lads nothing as no evidence and my word against theirs. Funny thing is my husband didn’t even have to touch the scum bags to have them running scared to their mummy and daddies and phoning the police but they were happy to go for a lone woman or so they thought.
Anyway moral is that small act of ‘self defence’ put us in dire straits we lost business, house, my husband nearly went to prison which would have killed me, and we’ve spent years trying to build our lives again, so it’s not always as easy as ‘send the lads round’ and I understand why she doesn’t want him to get involved. I hope the police take this more seriously than they took my attack. ( I was told by a police woman that she gets worse every day at work what can I say? That’s the attitude of the women in the force as well
)TPO
Well-Known Member
Slightly off topic but what's with all the toxic masculinity stereotypes? I know plenty of males who don't like confrontation or physical violence. Why is it assumed that all/any male should go round to "sort things out" and to not behave like that is a failing and lack of "being a man"?
OP really feel for your friend. She is doing the right thing calling 101 to log every time this man harasses her. If he steps onto her property or threatens her (verbally or by his presence) she should call 999. Police have to respond to 999 calls.
OP really feel for your friend. She is doing the right thing calling 101 to log every time this man harasses her. If he steps onto her property or threatens her (verbally or by his presence) she should call 999. Police have to respond to 999 calls.
fiwen30
Well-Known Member
My husband did this after I was attacked by a gang of about 10 lads (adults mind) in my own workplace/home. They broke in. My husband received a suspended jail sentence the lads nothing as no evidence and my word against theirs. Funny thing is my husband didn’t even have to touch the scum bags to have them running scared to their mummy and daddies and phoning the police but they were happy to go for a lone woman or so they thought.
Anyway moral is that small act of ‘self defence’ put us in dire straits we lost business, house, my husband nearly went to prison which would have killed me, and we’ve spent years trying to build our lives again, so it’s not always as easy as ‘send the lads round’ and I understand why she doesn’t want him to get involved. I hope the police take this more seriously than they took my attack. ( I was told by a police woman that she gets worse every day at work what can I say? That’s the attitude of the women in the force as well
Off-topic, but as an additional anecdote - I was once told by a female officer who visited my house after complaints made about a neighbour who would spy through our bedroom window, that maybe I should stop ‘parading myself’. Nothing was said to the neighbour, and I lived on-edge every day till I moved house.
I’m sorry that the police aren’t being more proactive to help your friend. It’s a sorry state of affairs when these warning signs aren’t taken seriously, and instead police drag their feet until a woman inevitably ends up getting hurt, or worse, before doing something.
Apizz2019
Well-Known Member
She has her heard firmly screwed on and is a very sensible type, more so than me admittedly.
I think I would have gone gung ho and made things a whole lot worse if me.
Apizz2019
Well-Known Member
My husband did this after I was attacked by a gang of about 10 lads (adults mind) in my own workplace/home. They broke in. My husband received a suspended jail sentence the lads nothing as no evidence and my word against theirs. Funny thing is my husband didn’t even have to touch the scum bags to have them running scared to their mummy and daddies and phoning the police but they were happy to go for a lone woman or so they thought.
Anyway moral is that small act of ‘self defence’ put us in dire straits we lost business, house, my husband nearly went to prison which would have killed me, and we’ve spent years trying to build our lives again, so it’s not always as easy as ‘send the lads round’ and I understand why she doesn’t want him to get involved. I hope the police take this more seriously than they took my attack. ( I was told by a police woman that she gets worse every day at work what can I say? That’s the attitude of the women in the force as well
I'm so sorry to hear this. Hope you're all recovered now and life is back on track.
Apizz2019
Well-Known Member
She is, I know that. Just wish I could do that instant something to put this to a halt.
I hate seeing her like this ?
Apizz2019
Well-Known Member
Blimey, that's not a great attitude from the police. Parading in your own house, your sanctity and safe place!
I hope it simmers down and she's able to get back on track, stop looking over her shoulder and not constantly worrying.
brighteyes
Pooh-Bah
And within the law! He absolutely needs to keep out of it or taking matters into his own hands.
@Apizz2019 will you please PM me?
YorksG
Over the hill and far awa
I am aware that this sounds terribly tin foil hat territory, but does the man in question have some connection with the local police?
Apizz2019
Well-Known Member
No, he doesn't as far as we know. He's not known to them, well that's what they've told my friend.
Apizz2019
Well-Known Member
Will pm you now ?
CanteringCarrot
Well-Known Member
Yes, this. Thank you for saying this.
Regandal
Well-Known Member
When I said ‘boys’, I was referring to my 2 sons who are a lot bigger than me. In light of recent events, I don’t think that’s unreasonable. Eldest son has in the past taken a neighbour to task for intimidating a different neighbour. No violence, just stating it like it is. ?
maggiestar
Well-Known Member
Sometimes a quiet word can make bullies think twice because they know their victim is not completely unsupported. I wouldn't suggest going in there with fists flying (as we've seen, that usually ends badly) but this type of 'man' usually respects other men more than women so he'd be more likely to back down if he knew that others were on to him. A stern warning is what he needs. Threaten him with a lawsuit if nothing else. Sadly we can't always rely on the police to protect us.
brighteyes
Pooh-Bah
The police can and will act immediately if are there and at that time the law is being broken. They are constrained by formal procedures even during a 999 response.
Apizz2019
Well-Known Member
Totally agree with this, however, they didn't follow up when he breached what he was told about not contacting her, going to her new yard etc.
And I was also there, as I pmd you earlier, when the officer called her after the voluntary interview.
I'll quote it here what he said...'It's your word against his'. When clearly not true as he'd visited premises where he'd been told not to! So everyone must by lying and in cahoots somehow?
What hope is there for anyone if this is the attitude of some officers and the outcome of an 'investigation'?
Pearlsasinger
Up in the clouds
Apizz2019
Well-Known Member
Cynical me won't hold her breath ?
Charley657
Well-Known Member
It can be hard for the police to get evidence to arrest these individuals so they think they are above the law but not responding to a 999 call is ridiculous. This guy sounds like he needs some intervention before he kills someone.