Info needed - Livery gone bad

[New2this]

Go to a solicitor (as advised above). Get them to write a scary letter. Ask solicitor if they can mention costs (lost time at work, doctors bills, etc etc). Give him a scare and let him know it might cost him. Seems like money is important to him.

Very sad about police. As said before, we live in a deeply misogynistic world. That man in Birmingham getting out of prison so early after murdering his girlfriend (rough sex defence ???) turns my bloody stomach.

Hope your friends ok.

 

[CanteringCarrot]

But even then, there are proper (legal) channels to go through when someone owes you money. You don't just follow them around and turn up at their new yard, place of work, etc. So, if the police really believed this guy, they should've at least said that and directed him toward the proper channels otherwise he could border (well, he's already there, but anyway) on harassment.

Weird.

 

[TheOldTrout]

Only just seen this, how horrifying. I'm fairly nearby if she needs anything, don't have any land for horses but could offer her a bolt-hole if needed.

 

[Fransurrey]

But even then, there are proper (legal) channels to go through when someone owes you money. You don't just follow them around and turn up at their new yard, place of work, etc. So, if the police really believed this guy, they should've at least said that and directed him toward the proper channels otherwise he could border (well, he's already there, but anyway) on harassment.

Weird.

My thoughts too. Poor girl.

 

[Baywonder]

They've also advised there isn't enough evidence to do anything about his behaviour and the harrassment thus far.

This whole situation is absolutely unbelievable!

This may sound like an extreme suggestion, but what about one of those personal tiny button cameras that can be worn on clothing? Just thinking if this maniac tries to pull another stunt - if your friend had one of these on her person it may well give the police the evidence they need.

I also do think a solicitor is a good suggestion too.

I am so sorry your friend is going through this.

 

[wills_91]

In surprised he hasn’t had a kicking. Maybe the rules are different where you are but up here that wouldn’t be tolerated. If the police didn’t do anything the males of the persons family would. Gun licence or no gun licence.

If he is doing this to multiple people then to me there is no clear finger pointing if someone did teach him a lesson

Are you in Scotland by any chance?!

I've just caught up with this and I'm absolutely seething. If the police will do nothing - and I'm sorry I'm not buying the to busy, be much busier when they are dealing with a murder - then a few big guys should be paying him a visit and would have happened long ago round here. How absolutely devastating for his victims and the trauma this can cause can be life changing. I would not be letri g this drop, go as high up as you can until something is done.

 

[Apizz2019]

Sadly I expected he would come up with something plausible to the Police. This type of person will manipulate and twist anything. Your friend needs to document absolutely every interaction with him the more evidence the better. Does she have a Gopro or similar that she could wear as a body cam ready to be switched on if she spots him nearby??

She's called to make a formal complaint. I think she wanted to gather her thoughts and have time to think about it but she's approached it as this not being a victim led investigation etc.

We've just discussed a buttonhole camera, just in case he should turn up at her workplace or livery yard again.

The annoying thing is, they've not taken statements from anyone else, where he's visited. Yet if they had spoken to the man who owns the garage, he'd have told the police that this man told him, and I quote..."When she (my friend) speaks to me, she makes me melt".

That does rather indicate this isn't about money at all, which she absolutely doesn't owe, but more about his unrequited affection toward my friend.

Oh and apparently, she has now stolen a pitchfork from him!

Dear god!

 

[Apizz2019]

Sweet Jesus!

Your poor friend, this is awful.

Below is how to contact the Northamptonshire PCC.

https://www.police.uk/pu/policing-i...ime-commissioner-for-northamptonshire-police/

Thank you ?

 

[Apizz2019]

Are you in Scotland by any chance?!

I've just caught up with this and I'm absolutely seething. If the police will do nothing - and I'm sorry I'm not buying the to busy, be much busier when they are dealing with a murder - then a few big guys should be paying him a visit and would have happened long ago round here. How absolutely devastating for his victims and the trauma this can cause can be life changing. I would not be letri g this drop, go as high up as you can until something is done.

No, we're in Northants.

Some people do deserve rough justice!

 

[Roasted Chestnuts]

Are you in Scotland by any chance?!

I've just caught up with this and I'm absolutely seething. If the police will do nothing - and I'm sorry I'm not buying the to busy, be much busier when they are dealing with a murder - then a few big guys should be paying him a visit and would have happened long ago round here. How absolutely devastating for his victims and the trauma this can cause can be life changing. I would not be letri g this drop, go as high up as you can until something is done.

Yes I am. The police up here seem to be more on it than down south but I’d they did nothing then well I could see him getting some rough justice done

 

[McFluff]

Just a thought, get her to speak to her employer. Warn them of what has happened. Ask them if he has genuine business with them, and if he does, ask them to put measures in to protect her.
As an employer, I’ve been involved that way, and (in Scotland) the police were on board and helped.
I’d also spend a few hundred pounds to speak to an experienced lawyer, share all evidence gathered so far, and get some advice to help.

 

[Sossigpoker]

So once again a woman has to get hurt or even killed before the totally useless police lift a fecking finger?
Sadly it doesn't surprise me but makes my blood boil.
I'm just grateful that my other half is perfectly capable and willing to meter out some street justice if I was harassed like this , but women shouldn't have to rely on their male friends and family to protect them. I thought that's what the police are for but clearly not!

 

[Apizz2019]

Sorry if I haven't responded to your comment, I'm struggling to keep up ?

My friend has made a formal complaint, so let's see what happens from here.

She has spoken to her employer and her employer has already confirmed to the police that he has no business there, however, as there are businesses close by that he could use in the course of business, not that he needs to, I think it will be very difficult to prove anything now that the police seem to have given him a licence to do what he wants!

It's hard to explain and I can't give too much detail as it will identify my friend but she works in an open space, surrounded by lots of open space, and other businesses in said open space.

I find it incredible that the police seemingly don't have the power to stop people like this. That, or they can't be bothered. Who knows!

On a sidenote, I wish my friend had stolen his pitchfork as he could accidentally trip and fall on it when collecting....

 

[Regandal]

I cannot believe that there is any police force in the uk that would not take this very seriously, especially when this person has access to firearms.

 

[Apizz2019]

I cannot believe that there is any police force in the uk that would not take this very seriously, especially when this person has access to firearms.

My friend has never seen him with a gun on his land, so we're not 100% sure he does have firearms. He must have had before, based on what we've been told by people who rented his yard over the years.

Firearms or not, this matter should be taken seriously as the man is unhinged.

Let's see if good old Northants police do the right thing.

 

[1523679]

I cannot believe that there is any police force in the uk that would not take this very seriously, especially when this person has access to firearms.

I’m in Scotland and have a neighbour who follows me (and/or husband) when we drive anywhere; who draws pentagrams on our walls and who’s told us “you’ll get yours”, “I’ll drive you out of here” and “I’ll make you pay”. Among lots of other tedious stuff. For over 2 years.

Neighbour has psychiatric issues and an unlicensed firearm.

Police response? There’s “nothing we can do unless it’s ABH”.

Yeah. Thanks for that.

We’re going for Plan B. Acquaintances of acquaintances who take on work the police don’t have time for.

 

[Apizz2019]

I’m in Scotland and have a neighbour who follows me (and/or husband) when we drive anywhere; who draws pentagrams on our walls and who’s told us “you’ll get yours”, “I’ll drive you out of here” and “I’ll make you pay”. Among lots of other tedious stuff. For over 2 years.

Neighbour has psychiatric issues and an unlicensed firearm.

Police response? There’s “nothing we can do unless it’s ABH”.

Yeah. Thanks for that.

We’re going for Plan B. Acquaintances of acquaintances who take on work the police don’t have time for.

Unbelievable!

I have a friend of a friend who is an officer in a force many miles away from Northants and he has said the police are so understaffed they almost have to pick and choose what they respond to and how they respond/manage reports, if not life or death. How true that is, who knows, but given how they've dealt with my friends issue and recent tragic recent events, it wouldn't surprise me if this is the case.

Sad state of affairs and yet everyone is shocked when people take matters into their own hands.

Stay safe!

 

[Apizz2019]

Go to a solicitor (as advised above). Get them to write a scary letter. Ask solicitor if they can mention costs (lost time at work, doctors bills, etc etc). Give him a scare and let him know it might cost him. Seems like money is important to him.

Very sad about police. As said before, we live in a deeply misogynistic world. That man in Birmingham getting out of prison so early after murdering his girlfriend (rough sex defence ???) turns my bloody stomach.

Hope your friends ok.

The problem is, this isn't about money. Of the 9 ex liveries we've spoken to thus far, he's harrassed 7 of them on the premise of them owing monies. They've paid to get rid of him, even though no monies were owed, but it hasn't stopped him harrasing them, that is until he falls in love with the next person.

He now has a young lady on his yard who moved onto his yard a few weeks ago, who we know albeit not very well, and she has been warned by my friend about what has happened and to be on her guard.

The saddest part is she believes him and has been slating my friend saying she owes money and did a runner. That is despite this young lady being present, moving her stuff in, on the day my friend departed, with the very man himself stood there telling the new livery how much he'll miss my friend and that he was very sad she was leaving.

 

[ArklePig]

OP I'm so sorry for what your friend is going through, absolutely vile,and the inaction from the police is disappointing but not surprising. At this stage, I think your friend needs to engage the services of a solicitor to simultaneously apply for a non molestation order and lodge a complaint with the police. This can be dealt with as a civil matter , even though his behaviour is 100 percent criminal.

 

[Apizz2019]

OP I'm so sorry for what your friend is going through, absolutely vile,and the inaction from the police is disappointing but not surprising. At this stage, I think your friend needs to engage the services of a solicitor to simultaneously apply for a non molestation order and lodge a complaint with the police. This can be dealt with as a civil matter , even though his behaviour is 100 percent criminal.

That would be the ideal but it's money she doesn't have, sadly, and he knows it!

He's at expert level in this game ?

 

[cauda equina]

Perhaps contact a charity for further advice eg Womens Aid

 

[Apizz2019]

Perhaps contact a charity for further advice eg Womens Aid

Women's aid can't help as it's not domestic. This also doesn't fall under coercive and controlling behaviour in the eyes of the law as there has been no romantic relationship.

 

[cauda equina]

Women's aid can't help as it's not domestic. This also doesn't fall under coercive and controlling behaviour in the eyes of the law as there has been no romantic relationship.

Oh, shame
OK, there must be another organisation that can advise her if she can't afford legal help - Suzy Lamplugh Trust?

 

[Apizz2019]

Oh, shame
OK, there must be another organisation that can advise her if she can't afford legal help - Suzy Lamplugh Trust?

I've sent her their number, thank you ?

 

[brighteyes]

Is there any way she could somehow get a bodyguard - on speed dial or something?

 

[Apizz2019]

Is there any way she could somehow get a bodyguard - on speed dial or something?

Doubtful. She doesn't have cash to throw away and is in quite a tight situation financially, sadly, but is able to manage on what she earns, just!

 

[duckling]

This is awful. Sadly I have no faith that the police will do much to help, despite all the recent promises and press releases - violence against women and girls just isn’t taken seriously enough.

There are links to more resources for victims of stalking here in case they may help your friend: https://alicerugglestrust.org/aware

 

[Apizz2019]

This is awful. Sadly I have no faith that the police will do much to help, despite all the recent promises and press releases - violence against women and girls just isn’t taken seriously enough.

There are links to more resources for victims of stalking here in case they may help your friend: https://alicerugglestrust.org/aware

Thanks so much! ?

 

[AUB]

On Amazon you can find personal alarms for about £10. They can make a whole lot of noise, some of them I’ve just seen go up to around 150 dB. I definitely think your friend should get one of those. It might make her feel more safe.

Here in Denmark the police can give victims of stalking a personal alarm that will alert the police asap in case of emergency, but it doesn’t really sound as if the police is very helpful in your friends’ case… But it seems as if some security companies also offer a service like that, maybe it’s worth looking into.

I’ve also just googled and it seems that there are apps for stalking victims where you can collect all evidence in one place, it simple creates a log over events and can then be given to the police. In the app I found you could also create a network of people who can follow where the victim is and will be notified immediately if the victim activates the alarm function.

 

[Leandy]

They've paid to get rid of him, even though no monies were owed,

I think you've said this twice now. Are the police fully aware of these allegations? Just so they can add extortion to the list of alleged offences here. Perhaps that will give them the angle they need to look more closely into the assertion that your friend owes money?