Injured rider

My story differs somewhat but there are similarities. I have two youngsters that I bought as weanlings. The breeder is a lovely, lovely man and I consider him and his family as friends. We talk on the phone every few months and visit each other’s homes when in the area. The breeder arranged for my boys to be backed and broken by a very competent trainer with an international reputation. I am very pleased with the way they have been started. I made a really stupid error of judgment when sitting on the placid, lazy one for the first time and got dumped and fractured my pelvis in six places. I’m well on the road to recovery less than three weeks later and can waddle a bit without crutches however my consultant has warned me I may need pinning. Whilst in hospital I whatsapped the breeder in a bit of a panic to ask him to canvas his extensive network of contacts for someone to take my boys in while I recover. I have heard nothing. It hurts but I kind of get it as Ireland is a very litigious country and insurance is hard got and extremely expensive. Having read this post I’ve resolved to make contact myself and clear the air so thank you HHOers for the nudge and OP, I feel your pain, both literally and metaphorically, and I hope you get through it too. X
 
Sorry to hear you have such an awful injury.

I would not be surprised if the owner has been advised by insurance company to be careful about doing anything that may be considered admitting liability and not get too involved.

It is sad that we are in a situation where people are scared of saying the wrong thing and possibly feeling they cannot be sympathetic.

If she needs a sharer and knows you will be out of action for a while I would not take it personally that she has replaced you.
 
I think some posters are overplaying the insurance angle as a justification for the owner not to get in touch. They would be in no way admitting any sort of liability with some sort of "I hope you feel better soon, here are some nice flowers to show I'm thinking of you" gesture.

I do think some people get a bit weird in situations like this, where they might feel somewhat responsible even if they aren't (i.e. just by dint of owning the horse). However, I do think it's poor form of the owner not to check in with the sharer and perhaps pop in with some flowers/ chocolates. I'm not sure why some posters are acting as though popping round to someone's house is the weirdest thing they could imagine, especially when this person currently can't leave the house.
 
The owner may feel embarrassed and completely unsure what to do for the best….folk may have freaked her out by saying she could adversely affect a legal claim if you started one. You might take matters into your own hands and text asking after the horse, yard gossip etc to free up communication again…if you want to. I hope you heal well and soon.
 
So, to be clear OP, you were a twice weekly sharer for this horse twice a week. You got dumped and injured and are wondering if the owner should have been in regular contact with you after the initial couple of messages of concern?

I think it can work both ways. It’s awful that you’ve had a bad accident, but the owner has been in contact to see how you were. But have you reached out to them?
 
Busy mare said:
what do you mean? The owner of the horse has already replaced the sharer with a new rider/sharer within weeks of the accident.
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Are you saying that is a bad thing? From the OP, it seems that even you (who had the accident) says it wasn't the horse's fault, or owner's. If she needs a sharer and the horse is blameless, and you can't ride for certainly a long time and perhaps forever, what would you prefer she did?

Personally, I would have called to see how you were going on, bought flowers, but I can also see why people may feel worried about doing so.

However the accident happened, I suspect legal bods could say that someone was to blame. I know of a rider who was bucked off unexpectedly, the horse was an angel usually, everything was going well, when some horses nearby in a field set off galloping. The horse didn't do much but was startled, was restrained, did a buck and the rider was caught unawares and went off balance, startling the horse even more so it ran and unshipped the rider.

I would have thought that was as blame free as it could get.

But no, legal bods got involved and found that, many years previously, the horse had bucked once, as a 4 year old. It was understandable as, on that occasion, the horse was on a road going under a little used railway bridge (as in no one expected a train) when a train went over. It was uneventful, the horse was startled, sprung forward, was restrained, popped a buck and was brought back into line by an experienced rider. But, the legal bod claimed that this meant the horse was displaying a bucking trait, even though it didn't do it again for many years.

The rider of the horse startled by horses in a field won their case and were paid damages. They claimed that the horse was dangerous, and the leader of the situation should not have let them ride near loose horses (they weren't in the field, but were riding alongside). The irony of that was that, when healed, she wanted to return to ride the same horse and was surprised not to be welcome.

OP, I can see that you are angry and hurt, but you say no one was to blame, so I would let it drop. If you only ever saw this person when riding the horse, and are not now riding the horse and are no longer friends, then I guess you were more a business arrangement than friends in the first place. The owner isn't behaving as I would, but isn't actually doing anything wrong. By keeping it in your mind you are just hurting yourself.

Someone gave me a great quote, "Anger is where you punish yourself for someone else's mistakes."

I think that is true.

You have had a trauma and if you feel you can't move on, I would seek counselling.
 
I think the insurance thing is a red herring.

A while back I had a hunter in on trial for a client who was a fairly elderly chap who'd recently lost his fairly elderly horse. We were assured that this new horse was suitable, but decided I'd hunt it first just to make sure. Long story short, someone got badly kicked and suffered a long term injury as a result.

Both me and my client visited the person, brought flowers and gifts, offered to drive them about while they couldn't and take them shopping and to hospital appointments. We offered up our insurance details and encouraged her to claim - that's what insurance is for! But as it happened, they were independently advised not to bother because there was no way of proving that any negligence had taken place. The only recourse would have been with the dealer/owner of the horse, who turned out to be absolutely vile anyway.

I honestly think it comes down to whether you are an honourable human being with the good manners to ask after someone - and that can range from a text or a phone call to a hospital or home visit, offers of help, whatever - I think it's very odd that in the OP's case the owner of the horse has been so distant.

Having said that, people are mighty odd, and you are probably better off out of the relationship, and I hope you continue to recover from your injuries and are better soon.
 
I would personally have sent a massage and flowers, but then everyone is different. She may well be waiting to see if you get in touch. Personally if I am sick or injured I loathe people dropping in / calling as I just want to be alone, so if she is like this then perhaps she just does not want to bother you.
 
Ok, sadly I have experience of this in a big way. My horse was on full livery with an ex boss of mine. Someone I trust implicitly and admire soooo much.
Said horse has always been quirky, and this boss had been there beside me from the day I purchased him, helping me bring him on. He had adored him from day one which was a serious compliment as he doesn’t adore many horses!
Out hunting one day my horse had a stupid moment and this resulted in said ex boss being airlifted to hospital with SEVERE life threatening injuries. Fractured skull in multiple places, severed neck muscles, the works. It was not good.
He was in a coma for a while, and when we heard he had come round I paid for unlimited internet, tv and phone for him in hospital. I visited weekly, and I took time off work to do his yard for him for free. When he was recovered, I continued to take time off to do the yard whenever he needed - such as Cheltenham week, new year etc. He did say repeatedly it wasn’t Bailey’s fault, and he did ride him for another year after he recovered, but it still isn’t fun to be the owner getting that call.

It’s a horrible position to be in on either side. But I have to say, being the person whose horse nearly killed someone is really really horrible. I’m so sorry this happened to you. I think the owner could have handled things very differently.
 
The other side is personally I'd be appalled if I were ill/injured and someone I barely knew and certainly wasn't proper friends with stopped by. I'd feel obliged to invite them in, the house might well be a state, and I'd have to make them a drink etc while hobbling about (or whatever).
If I were the owner in this situation I'd probably have text to see how you were getting on early after, and maybe to let you know I'd be looking for another sharer maybe with the option for you to get in touch if/when you're ready, but that's it. You weren't friends who socialised together, just friends by association imo
 
I am very sorry to hear about your accident and I wish you all the best for your recovery.

I would send a message and flowers but would be very unlikely to visit, and if the share ended then it wouldn’t occur to me to keep up messages for months afterwards.

I like all the people who ride my horses - if I didn’t then they wouldn’t be riding them- but they aren’t my friends, it is a transactional relationship around the horses and if that element goes then, as much as I like them, the relationship goes with it.

I’m sure that seems very business-like and not very personal but I think, as an owner, you get used to riders, grooms, sharers etc coming and going.

Perhaps consider whether if the accident had happened to the owner, and she’d sold the horse leaving you no active ties to her, would you think it appropriate to be visiting and messaging months later? And how quickly you’d look for another share horse?

It’s sounds like the owner in your situation has checked in and messaged around the time of the accident, but maybe your expectations of her are a bit steep.

Busy mare said:
It’s just all very odd that she’s done nothing to check on the sharer over the months. No contact with the owner for 6 months only the first few days in hospital.
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I’m sure this is all very tied into the trauma of what has happened to you but I really would try not to take this personally.
 
My horse injured someone quite badly (accidentally) and I visited her in hospital and kept in regular touch with her.
Someone else I know in the same situ never asked after her injured rider and when I enquired a few time as to how they were doing the reply was “oh I don’t know” but on questioning further it turns out the owner was actually very worried about the rider but didn’t like to intrude and felt that if the rider wanted to get in touch she would, she seemed to honestly think she was doing the best thing. I found it a little weird but point is, maybe your horses owner isn’t being nasty, maybe she thinks along these lines ?‍♀️
 
Starzaan said:
Ok, sadly I have experience of this in a big way. My horse was on full livery with an ex boss of mine. Someone I trust implicitly and admire soooo much.
Said horse has always been quirky, and this boss had been there beside me from the day I purchased him, helping me bring him on. He had adored him from day one which was a serious compliment as he doesn’t adore many horses!
Out hunting one day my horse had a stupid moment and this resulted in said ex boss being airlifted to hospital with SEVERE life threatening injuries. Fractured skull in multiple places, severed neck muscles, the works. It was not good.
He was in a coma for a while, and when we heard he had come round I paid for unlimited internet, tv and phone for him in hospital. I visited weekly, and I took time off work to do his yard for him for free. When he was recovered, I continued to take time off to do the yard whenever he needed - such as Cheltenham week, new year etc. He did say repeatedly it wasn’t Bailey’s fault, and he did ride him for another year after he recovered, but it still isn’t fun to be the owner getting that call.

It’s a horrible position to be in on either side. But I have to say, being the person whose horse nearly killed someone is really really horrible. I’m so sorry this happened to you. I think the owner could have handled things very differently.
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Goodness Starzaan, I’m sorry for everyone involved. That must have been horrendous for you. It does sound very different though, from the extent of the injuries but also from the past relationship.
 
Amymay said:
@Starzaan what an awful thing to have happened, I can only imagine how you must have felt. But I’m not sure the OP’s situation is comparable (broken foot).
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I didn't think they said what the injury was? Just that they have been out of action for 7 months and are facing more surgeries. If the injury is a broken foot, then it must have been a very bad break.
 
HashRouge said:
I didn't think they said what the injury was? Just that they have been out of action for 7 months and are facing more surgeries. If the injury is a broken foot, then it must have been a very bad break.
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OP has a previous thread about the injury, i believe.
 
This is what the OP posted just after the accident. A badly crushed foot could be very problematic depending on how much damage was done.

Busy mare said:
I’m currently in hospital with a broken foot following a riding accident at the weekend. The horse slipped on uneven ground and crushed my foot.

I’m going to be laid up for weeks after surgery.
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Red-1, I really, really wish someone had given me that quote upthread years ago. It resonates so very much, and is a totally new way of thinking for me.
OP, sorry to hear of your injuries xx
 
limestonelil said:
Red-1, I really, really wish someone had given me that quote upthread years ago. It resonates so very much, and is a totally new way of thinking for me.
OP, sorry to hear of your injuries xx
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Me too, I only heard it a couple of months ago.

I would add it to my signature with the other quotes that I like, but then my signature would be longer than my posts! (or some of them, at least!!!).

ETA -Oh, how bizarre, I just checked my signature and I HAD put it on. Forgot. Menopause brain LOL.
 
Thank you everyone for your replies, insights and sharing of experiences.

Maybe it was just a ‘business agreement’ at the end of the day I was there to help ride her horse, who was a lovely horse and it was a great arrangement that worked well for both parties.

The accident happened, she showed concern at the time, got a new sharer (because at the end of the day she needs help with the horses hence why I was there in the first place) and moved on with her own life.

I’m the one living with this, as some of you have done your homework it was an extremely serious mid foot injury which was not only broken but dislocated too and 4 metatarsals were also broken. This has been pieced back together as well as it can be but will never be the same again. I will have ongoing, stiffness, pain, discomfort and arthritis.

I did not even consider claiming on her insurance, I had my own insurance which I thought would cover for any personal injury but sadly not unless it’s disability, loss of sight, hearing, limbs.

As a previous horse owner and had sharers I would be devastated if my horse injured someone however caused- I understand going round to someone’s house would be awkward but no harm in a few check in messages.

Riding is a dangerous sport of course and is a risk everytime you get in the saddle.

Onwards and upwards and focusing on healing and the people who are there for me hey?!
 
Busy mare, I would suggest taking boswellia, it’s been shown to slow the progression of arthritis in humans, with none of the side effects of conventional anti-inflammatories. Hope your recovery goes well.
 
Busy Mare - I think you are being very reasonable, however I think the owner’s behaviour has been reprehensible. If I am right, she has not been in touch since you were taken away in an ambulance? Absolutely vile. The sort of person, who like one of the posters, expects grooms and sharers to go in and out of her life with zero input from her.

Firstly, I would strongly pursue your insurer, with the help of medical and/or legal professionals, as I am sure your injury counts/will count as being disabled.

Secondly, I would pay for at least one meeting with a suitable solicitor to discuss your legal position. The owner owed you a ‘duty of care’. It is very possible (as another poster described) to prove that she was in breach of this. Even if you decided not to go further along this path, a strongly worded solicitor’s letter suggesting a compensation figure for which you would not pursue the case, could reap rewards.

Hopefully you are at least receiving SSP from work. If applicable, look into Universal Credit and disability benefit.

Perhaps in other circumstances you would not consider the above, but she has treated you VERY BADLY, and deserves all she gets.

Good luck ??
 
Rocky159 said:
Busy Mare - I think you are being very reasonable, however I think the owner’s behaviour has been reprehensible. If I am right, she has not been in touch since you were taken away in an ambulance? Absolutely vile. The sort of person, who like one of the posters, expects grooms and sharers to go in and out of her life with zero input from her.

Firstly, I would strongly pursue your insurer, with the help of medical and/or legal professionals, as I am sure your injury counts/will count as being disabled.

Secondly, I would pay for at least one meeting with a suitable solicitor to discuss your legal position. The owner owed you a ‘duty of care’. It is very possible (as another poster described) to prove that she was in breach of this. Even if you decided not to go further along this path, a strongly worded solicitor’s letter suggesting a compensation figure for which you would not pursue the case, could reap rewards.

Hopefully you are at least receiving SSP from work. If applicable, look into Universal Credit and disability benefit.

Perhaps in other circumstances you would not consider the above, but she has treated you VERY BADLY, and deserves all she gets.

Good luck ??
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Did you miss the OP posting this?

Busy mare said:
not the horses or owners fault but a freak accident
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