My next equine project horse

[splashnutti1]

Oh dear poor Alice, Ted should no better, these model types may look good but the Alice types are much more reliable and certainly more cuddly

So glad to hear you are nearing the end of your treatment hun fingers crossed you get back to normal soon

 

[dianchi]

I wondered who Bridgette had been on the phone to, sisters gotta stick together! Poor Alice.

Sorry to say but had really strong memory of this when I read about Darcey and Dawn.....
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UyIMLz_jRbI

Red haired fluzy will soon leave Ted with a broken heart, hopefully that's all if the lions are on the phone again..........

 

[ElleSkywalker]

I love that clip! Soo funny!!!

Poor Alice. My baby boy is quite jealous, he lives with his mum, his sister & his 'grandma' the only totty who he can chat up is my Shetland who is far to matronly & titchy to be alluring.

He would love Alice, especially her curves (often catch him singing Sir Mixalot, 'I like big butts & I cannot lie' tunelessly) so send her here for a 'holiday'

 

[AdorableAlice]

Ted is broken hearted already. Found him in the corner by himself. Tartlet and Alice together. Not what I had expected but all was peaceful and no handbags were being thrown. Ted is looking very sorry for himself and I have promised he can come in later for a cuddle.

My brick outhouse cob is currently out on exercise, much to her disgust and surprise. She has been enjoying the idleness as much as I have been hating it. A couple of friends arrived this morning, one of whom is a soldier fairly high up in the Blues and Royals, of course we all know the standards upheld in the equine divisions of the army don't we. The last time the soldier rode on one of mine he was on the show horse, but he is retired now and I have seriously downgraded on quality.

One horse was coming from a neighbouring yard and is a fit, 17.3 gleaming hunter, the soldier looked on with approval, well at least until I handed him my cob ! who is 15.2 tall and wide, absolutely filthy, has an impressive beard and furry ears and is unclipped apart from her legs, which were done a month ago and now look like spiky tree trunks.

Add to that picture a tail that was pulled to within an inch of it's life but has not been touched all summer and a mane that was hogged in June when my hair began to drop out (we decided to go bald together !) The cob is now sporting a 3" grown out hog with a tufty bit for a forelock. I have an inch of grey fluff.

The soldiers face was a picture. His friend, the owner of the gleaming hunter, asked him if he would be cleaning the cob up before hacking out. Soldier commented that he was only on leave until Monday. I stood there thinking ' you haven't seen the tack yet mate' !!

They are not back yet and I have a feeling the cob has run out of steam and the soldier is having to push her back in a wheelbarrow. She cannot keep up with the long legged 17.3 anyway and will spend most of the time pulling faces and trying to bite his backside anyway.

 

[Adopter]

What a wonderful picture you paint, you and cob will emerge from the enforced rest and find exciting things to do!
So pleased to read you are nearly at the end of the long road, all the best for the final couple of weeks.

 

[splashnutti1]

Ted is broken hearted already. Found him in the corner by himself. Tartlet and Alice together. Not what I had expected but all was peaceful and no handbags were being thrown. Ted is looking very sorry for himself and I have promised he can come in later for a cuddle.

My brick outhouse cob is currently out on exercise, much to her disgust and surprise. She has been enjoying the idleness as much as I have been hating it. A couple of friends arrived this morning, one of whom is a soldier fairly high up in the Blues and Royals, of course we all know the standards upheld in the equine divisions of the army don't we. The last time the soldier rode on one of mine he was on the show horse, but he is retired now and I have seriously downgraded on quality.

One horse was coming from a neighbouring yard and is a fit, 17.3 gleaming hunter, the soldier looked on with approval, well at least until I handed him my cob ! who is 15.2 tall and wide, absolutely filthy, has an impressive beard and furry ears and is unclipped apart from her legs, which were done a month ago and now look like spiky tree trunks.

Add to that picture a tail that was pulled to within an inch of it's life but has not been touched all summer and a mane that was hogged in June when my hair began to drop out (we decided to go bald together !) The cob is now sporting a 3" grown out hog with a tufty bit for a forelock. I have an inch of grey fluff.

The soldiers face was a picture. His friend, the owner of the gleaming hunter, asked him if he would be cleaning the cob up before hacking out. Soldier commented that he was only on leave until Monday. I stood there thinking ' you haven't seen the tack yet mate' !!

They are not back yet and I have a feeling the cob has run out of steam and the soldier is having to push her back in a wheelbarrow. She cannot keep up with the long legged 17.3 anyway and will spend most of the time pulling faces and trying to bite his backside anyway.

LOL i can just imagine the soldeirs face, i am now in laughing to myself at my desk work colleagues think ive gone nuts hahaha!!! I just love the way you write your posts

cobs rule

extra hug for Ted from me x

 

[AdorableAlice]

Just back from today's frying session to a message on the answer machine. 'Both horses went well, cob managed a two hundred yard canter, but was knackered before the final hill homeward. Very hot by the time she got home but has had a bath and should be dry a week tomorrow. Soldier shaken rather than stirred and taking a hot bath to (a) wash the layer of muck off that landed on him whilst he groomed her and (b) to ease his back pain caused by the cobs rather agricultural suspension'.

Oh well, at least she had a bit of exercise, the only time she canters is when I shout tea time. I suppose it is optimistic to hope the tack has had an army standard clean ? On the plus side, the soldier is young, very fit, fearless and very good looking. I wonder if he would like to get on Ted next year. I could give him bed and breakfast for a month......

 

[Adopter]

I think you have found Ted a jockey! They sound made for each other!

 

[gmw]

Love this thread. You have inspired me to ride my mare after feeling sorry for myself all summer. Thank you. Love Ted just my sort of horse Alice even more so.

 

[AdorableAlice]

Love this thread. You have inspired me to ride my mare after feeling sorry for myself all summer. Thank you. Love Ted just my sort of horse Alice even more so.

Life is too short to feel sorry for oneself, and I am pleased I have been able to help get you going again. By the way, I have also felt sorry for myself most of the year !

 

[AdorableAlice]

Well Done Ted, you have just caused a divorce.

OH been at work since sparrow fart but still offers to come and help this evening. He has been more than helpful throughout the nine long months that I have been next to useless, despite working long hours.

The checking of Alice, Ted and the chestnut tartlet reveals a 12' rail on the ground with six 6" nails begging to be stood on. "You will have to mend that please" OH wanders off grumbling about bxxxy horses, it's dark and raining, plus he is starving etc etc. Disappears into the man shed, still mumbling and moaning, to get the tools. Asked if he needed my help is answered with a terse 'no' and off he shuffles into the rain and wind.

Fifty minutes later he is not back and I have finished the stabled horses so I go to see what is going on. The rail is up and mended but he is on his hands and knees in the grass alongside the fence with his mobile phone torch on. Alice has her hooves over her ears because there are words that sweet girls should never hear flying about. Apparently Ted helped with the DIY and tipped the box of nails over.......

OH in hot shower now, not a happy chappy ! I have ordered his favourite takeaway, put several cans of lager in the fridge and sky football on. If the story of Ted ends here you know what has happened and we will both be found buried in the muck heap.

 

[Adopter]

Oh dear, what your OH has to put up with!

Magnet needed as essential tool box bit of kit.
Our two year olds keep finding ways to destroy O H preventative measures which never seem to stay in place, and have tried driving his precious red fergie tractor and destroying the woodshed.

 

[MM&PP]

Just say and read this whole thread whilst OH watches MOTD.

Brilliant story - love a sad faced baby myself so loved reading about yours!
Too young for screening (I think? Will google now) but will heed your advice.

The end of all this horrible stuff is near - good luck and well done you.

 

[teacups]

Love the descriptions of the soldier experiencing the cob's agricultural suspension, and the arrival of the attractive redhead <g>

Has she gone now, and did she class it a good holiday? Has Ted got over it all?

You must be very near to the end of the hospital cookery class experience - they must have thoroughly zapped everything by now and would not pass masterchef by the sound of it. Are you planning to celebrate in suitable style?

 

[AdorableAlice]

Love the descriptions of the soldier experiencing the cob's agricultural suspension, and the arrival of the attractive redhead <g>

Has she gone now, and did she class it a good holiday? Has Ted got over it all?

You must be very near to the end of the hospital cookery class experience - they must have thoroughly zapped everything by now and would not pass masterchef by the sound of it. Are you planning to celebrate in suitable style?

Four sessions to go Teacups. I have had enough, I am a pretty tough cookie but at the moment it's tears and tantrums. Housebound again, under my arm is so burnt it has split, the chest wall and poorly boob is a mass of blisters, some open some not. Sorry - moan over.

Just watching the Lord Mayors Show, I think the soldier is on parade this morning, he didn't want my cob - wonder why ? Oh look at those shires drawing the coach, Ted could do that.

Ted is in a flux. Started on bonfire night, he hid in Alice's new, very expensive, handbag, that annoyed her greatly. He is such a wuss. The ginger tartlet is still with him and on the other side of the fence are two more mares, both witches, so he is surrounded by four girls and it is driving him bonkers. They had a home delivery the other night, lipstick, tights, weight watcher meals and anti ageing cream. He was gutted, no bubble gum, chocolate or crisps.

My celebration plans include a peaceful week in a cottage in the west country with no appointments to keep. Getting fitter and being able to get on and off the cob without help, being able to walk further than a few hundred yards without sitting down. Shifting the steroid weight I have gained, which will let me get into a nice dress and accept the OH marriage proposal....

 

[Adopter]

You certainly have earned that week away. Sending hugs and positive vibes for the final lap of your personal journey.

 

[Ladyinred]

I might be cutting off my nose to spite my face here, but, seriously this is too good to give away free. AA you should be writing a book.. it wouldn't even be too hard as you have this thread to draw from and expand on.

You are a naturally talented very funny and also very empathetic writer. I read a lot, and your style is great, far better than much of what is currently around. Think about it AA.. you might even make a fortune and be able to keep Ted in the style to which he would love to become accustomed!

Meanwhile thank you for sharing so much with us. xx

 

[AdorableAlice]

I might be cutting off my nose to spite my face here, but, seriously this is too good to give away free. AA you should be writing a book.. it wouldn't even be too hard as you have this thread to draw from and expand on.

You are a naturally talented very funny and also very empathetic writer. I read a lot, and your style is great, far better than much of what is currently around. Think about it AA.. you might even make a fortune and be able to keep Ted in the style to which he would love to become accustomed!

Meanwhile thank you for sharing so much with us. xx

How lovely your words are, thank you so much. I will think about it and would need more to go into a book, but my recovery and the breaking of Ted is coming. I am sure Ted will provide us with lots more saga's whilst being broken and ridden away. It looks like Ted has tooth ache as my friend has just reported the post and rail is being eaten. Bonjela for the cart horse gone onto the shopping list.

 

[alexandraj]

Please please please write a book! I love reading this thread so much even my non-horsey mother loves it. It would DEFINITELY sell amongst the "equine community" - especially if some of the proceeds were towards a charity.
You're an inspiration and on a bad bay when nothing is going right, I give myself a mental slap and say what would AA do?

Hugs to you, and the herd xxx

 

[AdorableAlice]

Please please please write a book! I love reading this thread so much even my non-horsey mother loves it. It would DEFINITELY sell amongst the "equine community" - especially if some of the proceeds were towards a charity.
You're an inspiration and on a bad bay when nothing is going right, I give myself a mental slap and say what would AA do?

Hugs to you, and the herd xxx

Well at present AA is lay flat on her back, watching the racing and balancing the lap top on her ever expanding belly !! now don't get doing that. If I do the book the proceeds would be split between the ILPH and Cancer Research.

Poor Ted is in more trouble, Cruella DeVeal is coming home tomorrow. That is Alice's mother and she hates Ted with a passion. She left in April because I could not do foal watch and has been away ever since. Ted never believed Alice's threats to set her mum on Ted, but it is about to come true. Five mares and Ted, time to do a field shuffle I think.

 

[Adopter]

I think you need to find Ted a male companion! He needs to be able to chill over a pint with a like minded fella, never mind all these mares!

Yes please, a compilation of your stories of Ted and Alice's adventures would appeal to all ages!

 

[Ladyinred]

And with a swish of my magic wand.. a companion for Ted!! The perfect mentor and doubtless also more than willing to chill over that pint:

http://www.preloved.co.uk/adverts/s...-1000-for-quick-sale-due-to-lack-of-time.html


And please note everyone is agreeing over the book.. how often do we all agree on HHO lol?


ETA Even your soldier would be proud to be seen on this one!

 

[TrasaM]

And with a swish of my magic wand.. a companion for Ted!! The perfect mentor and doubtless also more than willing to chill over that pint:

http://www.preloved.co.uk/adverts/s...-1000-for-quick-sale-due-to-lack-of-time.html


And please note everyone is agreeing over the book.. how often do we all agree on HHO lol?


ETA Even your soldier would be proud to be seen on this one!

Great choice of companion LIR. And as he's a more mature chap he will be able to guide poor Ted through his adolescent insecurities and would be able to give great advice on how to deal with the ladies.

 

[wildwest]

I might be cutting off my nose to spite my face here, but, seriously this is too good to give away free. AA you should be writing a book.. it wouldn't even be too hard as you have this thread to draw from and expand on.

You are a naturally talented very funny and also very empathetic writer. I read a lot, and your style is great, far better than much of what is currently around. Think about it AA.. you might even make a fortune and be able to keep Ted in the style to which he would love to become accustomed!

Meanwhile thank you for sharing so much with us. xx

this 100% love your posts x

 

[Ladyinred]

As funny as Hovis, but written in the third person which I prefer (imagine what would happen if you gave Ted a voice :0 !) Also the very real story of your cancer battle runs through and is an inspiration to many.. on it's own I guess many could have written about the cancer, but threaded through with the hilarity which is Alice and Ted takes it to a far different level and would educate and encourage many people who think (as I did) 'it can never happen to me'

I applaud your choice of charities as well! xx

 

[AdorableAlice]

It's 17.2 LadyinRed! it's feet will be dustbin lids and it's gut cavernous, just think of the wind the pair of them would produce. I would be taxed on emissions. My vet and farrier would have a fit of the vapours and my hayman would be booking a winter holiday in the med on the increased sums he would get from me. OH would withdraw the offer of marriage if I add any more horses. I bet the big lad is a lovely character though and I hope at that price he does not end up with a muppet.

Just had a walk round and seen them all which was nice and they were all careful around me, even Ted who looks like he is missing a front tooth.

If, Ted, Alice and I achieve nothing more through this thread other than persuading ladies to attend their scans we will be happy.

 

[Ladyinred]

It's 17.2 LadyinRed! it's feet will be dustbin lids and it's gut cavernous, just think of the wind the pair of them would produce. I would be taxed on emissions. My vet and farrier would have a fit of the vapours and my hayman would be booking a winter holiday in the med on the increased sums he would get from me. OH would withdraw the offer of marriage if I add any more horses. I bet the big lad is a lovely character though and I hope at that price he does not end up with a muppet.

Just had a walk round and seen them all which was nice and they were all careful around me, even Ted who looks like he is missing a front tooth.

If, Ted, Alice and I achieve nothing more through this thread other than persuading ladies to attend their scans we will be happy.

Taxed on emissions? Nooo. Just harness all that gas and sell it back to EDF or whoever.

 

[Luci07]

Just nipped in for a quick update on how you and your menagerie were doing. Horrible about the blisters and poorly boob, but you are so near the end. What a spectacular and wonderful day your wedding will be as well. As for losing the weight from the steroids...give yourself a chance. Your weight will not be able to stay put once you just gets back to normal activity, let alone worry about a diet!! I have a bored baby 16.3 yak who I could deliver to you to add to your yard? He is finally allowed to trot and like most men, was all mouth and no trousers. Puffing pony on the way home. Little bit of ditch jumping to show me that he is feeling better ( not appreciated by myself as I am supposed to be offering moral support to a friend on her spooky horse!) would swap you for the smart soldier....

 

[SatansLittleHelper]

Have spent ages catching up on this thread. I definately agree 100% we need a book..!!!
You are an inspirational lady...thank you so much for sharing

 

[AdorableAlice]

Hands off my soldier ! hope he doesn't read this, poor young man will never visit again, I am old enough to be his mother. He wouldn't have time to waste on forums, far too busy cleaning all that harness and carriages.

Now on the subject of dieting, if I look hard enough I will find the OH's hidden stash of pringles, they need cider to wash them down and vast array of medicines I have to take might not agree with alcohol. Decisions decisions !