Need advice about daughter

[HEM]

Seems sensible yes. I wouldn't allow her to jump if I wasn't there just to school her horse mainly.

Accidents can happen no matter what you are doing and unfortunately at 14 (no matter how mature and knowledgeable your daughter may be) she is still a child. My non-horsey mum would take a book/ipad/laptop and work or read from the car but could still keep an eye on me. Is that not an option?

 

[ester]

If the YO has been advised to require supervision for under 16s it is pretty standard and good advice.

I cannot see any advantage to her of removing that rule, only opening herself up to potential issues regarding responsibility and supervision.

In which case there won't be any odd times she has to go on her own, as it's simply not permitted and you presumably signed up to that when you signed up to the yard?

 

[MyBoyChe]

I suspect she is a typical 14 year old who thinks she is invincible! If its a condition of the YOs insurance then youre just going to have to live with it, if its not, maybe she would allow you to draw up some sort of disclaimer. However, Im afraid that I would think that its a bit risky to be up there alone, whether riding or not. More injuries than you might think happen on the ground and lets assume the YO is nowhere around or certainly not within sight or earshot, what would happen to your daughter if she took a kick to the head whilst turning out, let alone fell off and knocked herself out. I can understand her feeling fed up with what, as a teenager, I would also have seen as a daft rule, however now im 50 something, I can appreciate its a very good rule

 

[wobblecob2017]

I suspect she is a typical 14 year old who thinks she is invincible! If its a condition of the YOs insurance then youre just going to have to live with it, if its not, maybe she would allow you to draw up some sort of disclaimer. However, Im afraid that I would think that its a bit risky to be up there alone, whether riding or not. More injuries than you might think happen on the ground and lets assume the YO is nowhere around or certainly not within sight or earshot, what would happen to your daughter if she took a kick to the head whilst turning out, let alone fell off and knocked herself out. I can understand her feeling fed up with what, as a teenager, I would also have seen as a daft rule, however now im 50 something, I can appreciate its a very good rule

Yes I think that's the problem with her 😂 maybe if I wasn't around then her little brother (who is 12) and he would quite happily watch her while shes riding. And he has a phone of his own so maybe that is a good option?

 

[HEM]

I have to say at the age of 22 and been riding for as long as I can remember I still won't hack out alone for this reason, with the added bonus of being away from home of course.

 

[Red-1]

Maybe yes I'm just thinking of the odd times she will have to go there on her own

As it is, she won't be going up there at all on her own, as it is not allowed. Thinking back to the livery yard of my youth, would she not perhaps be happier in a bigger yard where there is more support and a social scene too? We used to help each other out, plus some liveries were also instructors. We had mini jumping competitions etc and it all added to the fun of having a pony. Even if it were further away, could she get a bus or ride her bike? My yard was an hour's walk away, or 30 minutes on a pedal bike, or the same on 2 buses. But, it was worth it for my independence.

 

[Red-1]

Yes I think that's the problem with her 😂 maybe if I wasn't around then her little brother (who is 12) and he would quite happily watch her while shes riding. And he has a phone of his own so maybe that is a good option?

Your first post says the YO required under 16s to have adult supervision, so I don't suppose a 12 year old would do.

 

[wobblecob2017]

As it is, she won't be going up there at all on her own, as it is not allowed. Thinking back to the livery yard of my youth, would she not perhaps be happier in a bigger yard where there is more support and a social scene too? We used to help each other out, plus some liveries were also instructors. We had mini jumping competitions etc and it all added to the fun of having a pony. Even if it were further away, could she get a bus or ride her bike? My yard was an hour's walk away, or 30 minutes on a pedal bike, or the same on 2 buses. But, it was worth it for my independence.

Unfortunately that's not an option as these are the closest stables. The next one being half an hours drive away.

 

[Red-1]

Unfortunately that's not an option as these are the closest stables. The next one being half an hours drive away.

Crikey OP, whereabouts do you live? I can drive to the next town 20 miles away in half an hour! There would be many livery yards en route. If you search you would probably find many livery yards, most of which don't advertise. The good ones rarely need to. It may mean going onto a waiting list until a space becomes available.

An advert on Faceboo would be a good place to start. Or the local Pony Club? Local Riding club? Local tack shop?

 

[PapaverFollis]

She's a minor. If she was to injure herself while riding unsupervised I imagine it would be a right royal legal mess. If she was mine being grumpy that she can't do what she wants when she wants she'd be in for a talking to not getting me to make the world bend to her will. An adult on a yard with unsupervised children pretty much has the responsibility (perhaps not legally but there's certainly a moral pressure to be responsible) it's unfair to foist that on them. We have left a livery yard because of it in the past. Unsupervised teenagers doing dangerous things while I was the only adult in the yard? Getting a gobful of abuse when I asked them to stop doing dangerous things? Erm. No thanks.

I'm sure your daughter is lovely and behaves in a safe way etc but until she's 16 you need to provide supervision. Imagine how you'd feel and react if she came off and was seriously injured while YO was inside watching TV or something.

 

[wobblecob2017]

Crikey OP, whereabouts do you live? I can drive to the next town 20 miles away in half an hour! There would be many livery yards en route. If you search you would probably find many livery yards, most of which don't advertise. The good ones rarely need to. It may mean going onto a waiting list until a space becomes available.

An advert on Faceboo would be a good place to start. Or the local Pony Club? Local Riding club? Local tack shop?

I don't really want to move from here as it is close to home and yes maybe there are other liveries closer than I thought but it's nice being on a private yard with only us.

 

[Red-1]

I don't really want to move from here as it is close to home and yes maybe there are other liveries closer than I thought but it's nice being on a private yard with only us.

But it isn't nice if you don't want to supervise your daughter.

This yard does not suit your wants.

Maybe it would suit better once she is 16?

 

[wobblecob2017]

But it isn't nice if you don't want to supervise your daughter.

This yard does not suit your wants.

Maybe it would suit better once she is 16?

Its perfect in every other way and I don't wish to move, but thank you for your suggestion.

 

[The Fuzzy Furry]

I don't really want to move from here as it is close to home and yes maybe there are other liveries closer than I thought but it's nice being on a private yard with only us.

Hello mum
Its v difficult with teens, they want to be very independent, like going out with friends, drinking, off to concerts and in this instance riding her horse.
However, horses like many other hobbies (as am sure, you appreciate) can be dangerous.
Rules are there to cover accidents and issues, this is one you'll have to suck up.

I had same rule on my yard, then because parents took the pee or ignored it, I then went over 18s only, this was when my daughter was 14. It just wasnt worth the issues arising.
Ponies barging, treading on toes, tack incorrectly fitted as in hurry, ponies tripping and riders coming off. Seen it all....
Hope you can find some way to be there to supervise your childs hobby, but please don't expect the yard owner to change her stance, or to supervise your child, unless she is qualified and you pay for it. Good luck.

Edit, its half term, I hope you are not trolling!

 

[wobblecob2017]

Hello mum
Its v difficult with teens, they want to be very independent, like going out with friends, drinking, off to concerts and in this instance riding her horse.
However, horses like many other hobbies (as am sure, you appreciate) can be dangerous.
Rules are there to cover accidents and issues, this is one you'll have to suck up.

I had same rule on my yard, then because parents took the pee or ignored it, I then went over 18s only, this was when my daughter was 14. It just wasnt worth the issues arising.
Ponies barging, treading on toes, tack incorrectly fitted as in hurry, ponies tripping and riders coming off. Seen it all....
Hope you can find some way to be there to supervise your childs hobby, but please don't expect the yard owner to change her stance, or to supervise your child, unless she is qualified and you pay for it. Good luck.

Edit, its half term, I hope you are not trolling!

Thank you, also what is trolling? 😂

 

[The Fuzzy Furry]

Thank you, also what is trolling? 😂

See your post about hunting dearie..... 🙄

 

[HEM]

Asking if a 12 year old can supervise a 14 year old on an over 16 only yard.

 

[wobblecob2017]

See your post about hunting dearie..... 🙄

Excuse me?

 

[wobblecob2017]

Asking if a 12 year old can supervise a 14 year old on an over 16 only yard.

It was an idea just so she actually has someone there with her incase of an accident

 

[Tiddlypom]

Thank you, also what is trolling? 😂

Read this thread and another one just started in Tackroom and you'll see one .

 

[ester]

Why would you want to put a 12yo in charge of an accident scenario?

 

[wobblecob2017]

Read this thread and another one just started in Tackroom and you'll see one .

What's wrong with asking people for advice on more than one topic?

 

[The Fuzzy Furry]

Excuse me?

You were asking about info for you to go hunting on the latest thread.....

 

[wobblecob2017]

You were asking about info for you to go hunting on the latest thread.....

Yes because I also need some advice on that as well as this?

 

[Pearlsasinger]

Sorry I dont want to seem defensive I am just thinking of my daughter who is a bit peed off with the fact she has to always rely on everyone else to ride her horse. I just wanted to know if there was a way to arrange something to allow her to do so.

The point is that she is *14*, there are lots of things that she can't do until she is older - this is one of them. And your role as a parent is not to support her in trying to get round YO's rules but to explain to her that she must follow the rules. She might be p*ssed off about it, that is part of being a teenager, she needs rules to moan about.

 

[wobblecob2017]

The point is that she is *14*, there are lots of things that she can't do until she is older - this is one of them. And your role as a parent is not to support her in trying to get round YO's rules but to explain to her that she must follow the rules. She might be p*ssed off about it, that is part of being a teenager, she needs rules to moan about.

Okay, I'm sorry if I caused any miss understandings I just want my daughter to excel in what she loves doing but I guess rules are rules.

 

[Horsekaren]

I think the rule is correct. I am not keen riding on my own when no one else is on the yard for the sheer fact there is a always a danger, even being a sensible rider, almost 30 years old and having a pretty steady horse. The thought of laying on the floor with a broken spine for hours scares me. I always text my husband when i am mounting and say ill text when i'm off. Silly but sensible.

As a livery if i turned up and was the only adult on the yard and see a 14 year old have an accident i wouldn't have a clue what to do, who to contact, what if i didn't have your number or the YO was out. Obviously id do everything to help but i sure wouldn't ever want to find myself in that situation.

I also think the maturity of the child comes in to play, i'm sure some dont but i can bet money a lot of youngster would just keep horses going and going for hours. I know this as ive seen it, the poor thing was jumped for 1.5 hours on a hot day until it fell over, that was a teenager.

I'd look at a local instructors to see if they could come out. Or find a friend, family member that could help.

Or maybe a yard with more youngsters so parent can take shifts between yourselves.

I'm the worlds biggest what iffer!

I hope you find a solution, i feel for your daughter just wanting to ride her pony.

 

[wobblecob2017]

I think the rule is correct. I am not keen riding on my own when no one else is on the yard for the sheer fact there is a always a danger, even being a sensible rider, almost 30 years old and having a pretty steady horse. The thought of laying on the floor with a broken spine for hours scares me. I always text my husband when i am mounting and say ill text when i'm off. Silly but sensible.

As a livery if i turned up and was the only adult on the yard and see a 14 year old have an accident i wouldn't have a clue what to do, who to contact, what if i didn't have your number or the YO was out. Obviously id do everything to help but i sure wouldn't ever want to find myself in that situation.

I also think the maturity of the child comes in to play, i'm sure some dont but i can bet money a lot of youngster would just keep horses going and going for hours. I know this as ive seen it, the poor thing was jumped for 1.5 hours on a hot day until it fell over, that was a teenager.

I'd look at a local instructors to see if they could come out. Or find a friend, family member that could help.

Or maybe a yard with more youngsters so parent can take shifts between yourselves.

I'm the worlds biggest what iffer!

I hope you find a solution, i feel for your daughter just wanting to ride her pony.

Luckily she is quite soft with her horse and knows when to stop. She has been around horses all her life and her grandfather used to train and break in horses. I think that is a good idea to text someone once she's on and when she's finished.

 

[xDundryx]

Whatever people have said or suggested OP you haven't liked and have had an answer for. Your attitude towards 'the rules, would make me question if you would bother keeping them anyway. Your daughter however grown up she seems or however knowledgeable a horse woman she is, is a minor and not the responsibility of the YO however when she is on the yard, unfortunately she becomes a responsibility. You have moved to the yard therefore should respect the rules and wishes of the owner. Being at this particular yard has nothing to do with her excelling in her hobby, she will do that anywhere if the time and effort is put in. Texting before after a ride isn't a failsafe if you fall off and get concussion.

 

[BOWS28]

What happens if the pony does something unexpected and your daughter is injured and unable to phone you. You may only be a mile up the road but horses are unpredictable. How does the YO know that you won't blame her if, god forbid, the worst happens? I'm afraid she is sort of covering her own back and i can't really blame her. I wouldn't ride my on my own now, considerably older than 14. I trust my horse but they are animals. No one knows what their reaction will be to a pigeon flying out of the hedge on a particular day.