Need advice about daughter

[The Fuzzy Furry]

Seriously? She's a child, doing something quite risky, and you don't think she should have a competent adult present when she's riding?? It's not about her wants, it's about managing risk!

And what would your 12 year old son do if she came off and really hurt herself and needed immediate intervention before an ambulance got there? Would he be able to call an ambulance, perform CPR, catch a horse, all while potentially being frantic and terrified?

A rule like this is a good one. I don't think you're thinking this through, sorry.

Rowreach, it's the teenager pretending to be mother....
Psst, half term here!

 

[AmyMay]

Yes I think that's the problem with her 😂 maybe if I wasn't around then her little brother (who is 12) and he would quite happily watch her while shes riding. And he has a phone of his own so maybe that is a good option?

??? So two unsupervised kids ???

There’s also the issue of safeguarding.

I think, op, you’re going to have to resign yourself to life as a horsey mum 😉

 

[Rowreach]

Rowreach, it's the teenager pretending to be mother....
Psst, half term here!

Oh silly silly me, I was in work mode not half term mode

In that case OP, you just carry on .....

 

[AmyMay]

Luckily she is quite soft with her horse and knows when to stop. She has been around horses all her life and her grandfather used to train and break in horses. I think that is a good idea to text someone once she's on and when she's finished.

But she won’t need to......

 

[ester]

keep up you lot

 

[AmyMay]

Caught up 🧟‍♂️

 

[Velcrobum]

Hello All OP has admitted she is the 14 year old and NOT the mother hence the "junior responses"...............

 

[Winters100]

Such a shame that things have come to this. As a child I regularly rode alone from the age of around 10, both on the roads and schooling. The only rule was to tell someone how long I would be and check in when I finished. This was pre-mobile phone days, so if I was delayed I had to pop home or find a phone box and make sure I had 10p to call in. Since my Mother was disabled, and also worked full time running her own business, I don't think I could have ridden very much (if at all) had she had to supervise me. I would discuss with the YO and see if you can agree to sign a disclaimer saying that you take total responsibility for your daughter riding alone. If she is an experienced rider with a suitable horse then the chances of an accident so serious that time is of the essence are not that great. It seems to me that 'safety first' has gone too far - I agree with you that letting her work things out on her own will teach her to use common sense - if she gets a bump along the way chances are that it won't be too serious - and probably a lot less chance to come to harm than hanging around elsewhere.

 

[Winters100]

OK, just saw latest that the teen posted. So she has to convince her Mother....then YO.....good luck.....

 

[Pearlsasinger]

Such a shame that things have come to this. As a child I regularly rode alone from the age of around 10, both on the roads and schooling. The only rule was to tell someone how long I would be and check in when I finished. This was pre-mobile phone days, so if I was delayed I had to pop home or find a phone box and make sure I had 10p to call in. Since my Mother was disabled, and also worked full time running her own business, I don't think I could have ridden very much (if at all) had she had to supervise me. I would discuss with the YO and see if you can agree to sign a disclaimer saying that you take total responsibility for your daughter riding alone. If she is an experienced rider with a suitable horse then the chances of an accident so serious that time is of the essence are not that great. It seems to me that 'safety first' has gone too far - I agree with you that letting her work things out on her own will teach her to use common sense - if she gets a bump along the way chances are that it won't be too serious - and probably a lot less chance to come to harm than hanging around elsewhere.

This is just about the worst advice on this thread imo, (regardless of the fact that the child is the poster, or perhaps that makes the advice even worse)

It is not very long since a local yard, which has the YO on site and several liveries/clients on site during the day had to send for the air ambulance for someone who came off her horse in the school with plenty of people around. And it is NOT the case that people can sign disclaimers and do away with their rights. How on earth can someone take total responsibility for something if they are not even on the premises?

 

[oldie48]

Dear Wobblecob2017, I keep my horses at home and have my own school. Funnily enough I was going to post about feeling far less confident riding at home than taking my very well behaved, relatively new mare to competitions and clinics and then your post popped up. It has helped me understand my lack of confidence. Having other people around is a bit of a safety net,I know if something "untoward" happens, at least I'll have help. Many years ago I had an 18 year old living with us as a part time nanny/groom. She brought her horse with her and was a very competent rider. One summer evening I saw her horse trot past the kitchen window, tacked up but riderless, tbh if I had been anywhere else I wouldn't have seen him. I found her unconscious in our school with the gate open. She spent a couple of nights in hospital but was OK but to this day has no idea of what happened. I always went up to the school when my daughter was riding, not to interfere but to just make sure she was safe and she did the same for me. Enjoy your pony and be grateful that people care about your safety. If you are a troll, get a life!

 

[Winters100]

This is just about the worst advice on this thread imo, (regardless of the fact that the child is the poster, or perhaps that makes the advice even worse)

It is not very long since a local yard, which has the YO on site and several liveries/clients on site during the day had to send for the air ambulance for someone who came off her horse in the school with plenty of people around. And it is NOT the case that people can sign disclaimers and do away with their rights. How on earth can someone take total responsibility for something if they are not even on the premises?

Well sorry but I do believe that parents should be able to take responsibility for their children - in this case it was a teenager posting, but had it been her Mother who was happy for her to ride alone then I don't see a problem. An experienced and well horsed 14 year old who has common sense is no more risk than a 16 year old, and perhaps less so. Accidents happen, not just riding horses but also potentially walking the dog. If the child and her parents accept the risk, and agree that they have no come back on anyone else then I do not see a problem. We all rode alone well below aged 16 - and I definitely know less kids with irreversible damage from riding accidents than I do who ruined their life with drugs or other bad behaviour.

 

[Mrs. Jingle]

Such a shame that things have come to this. As a child I regularly rode alone from the age of around 10, both on the roads and schooling.

Well I am sure that most of us over a certain age can tell tales of idyllic childhoods spent riding like unruly little tearaways here there and everywhere free from any restrictions or adult input. Usually bareback and hatless too as I remember. Swallows and Amazons and Famous Five days are long gone sadly.

Doesn't make it right though, or advisable or even legal these days. What seemed OK 50 odd years ago probably was Ok then......our ponies where in the main Thelwells, not overbred often highly strung eventing ponies for kids that have perhaps had one riding school lesson a week for 6 months, little or no traffic on the roads, no peer or over ambitious parents pressure to perform like an olympians jumping and eventing the moment we came out of nappies. It is a new world Winters100 and things have changed, and knowledge along with it.

If I was the mother of children or teens again you can bet your bottom dollar I would not let them be doing what I was doing without all the protection and common sense and adult supervision possible.

 

[Snitch]

Well sorry but I do believe that parents should be able to take responsibility for their children - in this case it was a teenager posting, but had it been her Mother who was happy for her to ride alone then I don't see a problem. An experienced and well horsed 14 year old who has common sense is no more risk than a 16 year old, and perhaps less so. Accidents happen, not just riding horses but also potentially walking the dog. If the child and her parents accept the risk, and agree that they have no come back on anyone else then I do not see a problem. We all rode alone well below aged 16 - and I definitely know less kids with irreversible damage from riding accidents than I do who ruined their life with drugs or other bad behaviour.

Except it seems that it would be the YO assuming responsibility. We don’t actually know what the parent’s view is. I suspect if mother knew what OP had done, in terms of posting this, she’d be on electronic lockdown for a bit 😊
Well, she would if she were mine.

 

[Winters100]

Well I am sure that most of us over a certain age can tell tales of idyllic childhoods spent riding like unruly little tearaways here there and everywhere free from any restrictions or adult input. Usually bareback and hatless too as I remember. Swallows and Amazons and Famous Five days are long gone sadly.

Doesn't make it right though, or advisable or even legal these days. What seemed OK 50 odd years ago probably was Ok then......our ponies where in the main Thelwells, not overbred often highly strung eventing ponies for kids that have perhaps had one riding school lesson a week for 6 months, little or no traffic on the roads, no peer or over ambitious parents pressure to perform like an olympians jumping and eventing the moment we came out of nappies. It is a new world Winters100 and things have changed, and knowledge along with it.

If I was the mother of children or teens again you can bet your bottom dollar I would not let them be doing what I was doing without all the protection and common sense and adult supervision possible.

Sure, I agree that things have changed. And I agree that a parent who had a child who had one riding lesson a week, riding an overbred pony etc would be ill advised to allow them to ride alone. But just because some parents lack common sense why restrict those who do and who are willing to take a calculated risk - let their child ride the pony or leave them home alone, potentially going into town, meeting undesirable friends....... It is not realistic to have a babysitter for a teen, and I would far rather my children be riding ponies than hanging around a town centre.

 

[Winters100]

Except it seems that it would be the YO assuming responsibility. We don’t actually know what the parent’s view is. I suspect if mother knew what OP had done, in terms of posting this, she’d be on electronic lockdown for a bit 😊
Well, she would if she were mine.

Yes, totally agree, has to be decision of the parent.

 

[YorksG]

It is not possible, in English law, to sign a "disclaimer" which has any force of law behind it. It is likely that for the yard to be insured to take liveries, that this is a requirement of the insurers. If the OP and her mother, find this too onerous, then I suggest that they find their own yard and land.

 

[Winters100]

It is not possible, in English law, to sign a "disclaimer" which has any force of law behind it. It is likely that for the yard to be insured to take liveries, that this is a requirement of the insurers. If the OP and her mother, find this too onerous, then I suggest that they find their own yard and land.

Then it is, as I said previously, a shame that things have come to this.

 

[Pearlsasinger]

It is not possible, in English law, to sign a "disclaimer" which has any force of law behind it. It is likely that for the yard to be insured to take liveries, that this is a requirement of the insurers. If the OP and her mother, find this too onerous, then I suggest that they find their own yard and land.

Except, of course, that, if she exists, the mother obviously agrees with YO rules ad isn't prepared to let daughter ride alone, never mind sign an unenforceable 'disclaimer'.

 

[Snitch]

Then it is, as I said previously, a shame that things have come to this.

It’s ‘only come to this’ when you’re on somebody else’s yard.
The child is free to do whatever she likes when she has her own yard.

 

[Winters100]

It’s ‘only come to this’ when you’re on somebody else’s yard.
The child is free to do whatever she likes when she has her own yard.

Sure, but it is a shame that it has come to this, that YOs have to be afraid of such liability. When we were younger our parents took responsibility for us - no question that anyone else would!

 

[ShowJumping_lily]

We have just moved to a lovely private yard 1 mile from our house. It is only me and my 14 year old daughter there, and she owns a horse which she is hoping to school and produce so she can compete on it. There is an arena in this yard which is lovely, however when we were reading the rules to this yard it seems that under 16s need adult supervision when down there. This is pretty inconvenient as she was hoping that moving to these stables she would have more independence with her horse without me always watching over her. I would if I could go there to just keep an eye on her however when I'm working on weekends this prevents her from being able to pop up and school her pony without me. I was wondering how I could convince the woman that owns these stables to allow my daughter to be there alone without me?

Despiteb
The fact I’m a child and 13
I think she is totally responsible as me and my mum and my little sister who I should ten have 7 horse on our home stables
And I hack them out by my self and even jump them up to 1m40 alone so I think you can probs convince

 

[Mrs. Jingle]

Despiteb
The fact I’m a child and 13
I think she is totally responsible as me and my mum and my little sister who I should ten have 7 horse on our home stables
And I hack them out by my self and even jump them up to 1m40 alone so I think you can probs convince

Oh dear

 

[ycbm]

There are children all over the country riding unsupervised at fourteen.

It's a great shame, in my opinion, that risk averse insurance companies have made this almost impossible for any child who is not lucky enough to have a family which can own or rent a yard.

Life is full of risk. The time to learn about it is when you bounce well and your bones mend easily.

It should be nobody's business but the child and their parents.

 

[Pearlsasinger]

There are children all over the country riding unsupervised at fourteen.

It's a great shame, in my opinion, that risk averse insurance companies have made this almost impossible for any child who is not lucky enough to have a family which can own or rent a yard.

Life is full of risk. The time to learn about it is when you bounce well and your bones mend easily.

It's not just risk averse insurance companies but compensation-seeking parents whose children have been allowed to take risks and come unstuck, who have sued YOs, who half the time didn't even know that they were expected to be responsible for the child, so that insurance companies have to pay out.

 

[ycbm]

It's not just risk averse insurance companies but compensation-seeking parents whose children have been allowed to take risks and come unstuck, who have sued YOs, who half the time didn't even know that they were expected to be responsible for the child, so that insurance companies have to pay out.

You're absolutely right.

Such a shame for the children.

 

[MagicMelon]

I'd ask her about it, perhaps you could say you'll sign something to say that the YO takes no responsibility of your daughter and she's there at her own risk etc.? Surely she can be there on her own to do most things, even if its not to ride?

 

[Pearlsasinger]

I'd ask her about it, perhaps you could say you'll sign something to say that the YO takes no responsibility of your daughter and she's there at her own risk etc.? Surely she can be there on her own to do most things, even if its not to ride?

As has already been discussed this would have no legal weight, you can not sign your rights away under British law and anyway the child can't be there 'at her own risk'.

By the way OP has already admittted that she is the child - her mother appears to have no intention of flouting YO's rules.

 

[Gloi]

I am so glad I was 14 a long time ago when I had my pony, went up to it on my bike, rode it all day and my dad hardly saw it from one month to the next.

 

[windand rain]

It is inevitable that 13 and 14 year olds are going to back each other as that is what this is all about. The OP is the 14 year old who was trying to get support from other adults to convince the YO and her mum to let her go it alone. Horses are dangerous it is better to have someone about when dealing with them at all, it is not always possible but it is the ideal however old you are. Adults are in the position to weigh up the risks and do their very best to negate them anyone under 16 in this case is not deemed to be able do so, so end of the story really. Rules generally are there for a reason most rules are there for protection of others and are often thought unreasonable by children