Need advice about daughter

wobblecob2017

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What happens if the pony does something unexpected and your daughter is injured and unable to phone you. You may only be a mile up the road but horses are unpredictable. How does the YO know that you won't blame her if, god forbid, the worst happens? I'm afraid she is sort of covering her own back and i can't really blame her. I wouldn't ride my on my own now, considerably older than 14. I trust my horse but they are animals. No one knows what their reaction will be to a pigeon flying out of the hedge on a particular day.
I do understand this aspect of the rules. I think I should just obey to them for now and hopefully they may become a little more relaxed in the future.
 

Pearlsasinger

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Okay, I'm sorry if I caused any miss understandings I just want my daughter to excel in what she loves doing but I guess rules are rules.


Actually, that doesn't seem to be the case. It appears that you want her to be able to go to the yard on her own, because a) you are too busy, b) she fancies it. At 14 it is not very likely that she is going to 'excel' at what she loves doing by doing it on her own.
 

stormox

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I think if thats the yard rules you should abide by them. The rules were there when you moved in, and I think you may be putting the yard owner in an awkward position if you expect your daughter to be allowed to be an exception. - for example suppose another livery comes who has a 12 yr old daughter.... she might expect to be allowed to ride on her own too.....
 

wobblecob2017

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Actually, that doesn't seem to be the case. It appears that you want her to be able to go to the yard on her own, because a) you are too busy, b) she fancies it. At 14 it is not very likely that she is going to 'excel' at what she loves doing by doing it on her own.
Its more to gain experience by producing her own horse. She is a fine rider by all means but she just wants to produce a horse of her own.
 

BOWS28

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I do understand this aspect of the rules. I think I should just obey to them for now and hopefully they may become a little more relaxed in the future.

Why would you want them to become more relaxed? The danger won't relax. The risk of your daughter being seriously hurt and unable to call for help won't just disappear in 6 months time. The rule is there for safety reasons. When she turns 16 and you are happy for her to ride and risk her safety then so be it. Until then, obey the rules and be grateful she will never be in a situation where she is praying for someone to turn up and find her. I have been there, never again would i ride alone.
 

Ossy2

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Pretty common rule on private livery yards these days, mine has the same rule. Different at riding schools where they have working pupil type arrangements and geared up to deal with minors but not livery yards really. I wouldn’t relax the rule if it was my place.
 

xDundryx

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This whole post is extremely troll-like. And if not an example of trolling, then all you have done is shown yourself to be a pretty immature 14 year old who wouldn't respect the rules anyway and will do as they please. Most probably to the detriment of the poor YO. If I'm coming across as harsh well, oopsie.
 

wobblecob2017

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This whole post is extremely troll-like. And if not an example of trolling, then all you have shown yourself to be a pretty immature 14 year old who wouldn't respect the rules anyway and will do as they please. Most probably to the detriment of the poor YO.
Look, I am respecting the rules of the YO as it is polite and obviously it's what you do.
 

Horsekaren

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Okay I do apologise I just thought people would take me more seriously if I acted as an adult!
That alone is where you have gone wrong. You are not a adult, your are fibbing so that makes me think you would fib to YO, parents ect. This is why the rules are there to save you and others from this type of thing.

O i would love to be 14 again! just enjoy your pony when your mum is there for now :) maybe look at local riding schools, the one near me have stable girls as young as 13. Maybe try and see what is about, move your horse there and then weekends/ half term you can be around horses all day.
 

blitznbobs

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As someone who has ridden horses of 40 years and has worked as an a and e doctor in excess of 15 years anyone who rides without someone keeping half an eye on them is taking huge risks - the last 2 falls I have had have been schooling in the school when something untoward happened — now I was ok but imagine I’d come off and hit my head in the fence (this happened to me as a 14 yo coincidentally) and was knocked unconscious if there is no one there you will lie there , possibly getting worse,probably getting hypothermia which all in all can lead to some pretty serious consequences including death. It’s not hypothetical, I’ve seen it happen. I’d strongly advise everyone to tell someone ,with a sight line , they are going to ride and any yo with insurance to worry about is not going to be the default responsible adult in this situation. It’s quite irresponsible to ask them to tbh. I don’t ride without someone in sight line the exception being hacking alone but even then I phone every 30 mins or so to tell someone I’m ok... and I’m in my 40s

There is a reason that minors are treated differently to adults. Teenagers are hard wired to take unnecessary risks. They don’t see the danger and if they do ‘it won’t happen to me’ kicks in. This is why we have rules such as ‘no unsupervised minors ‘ because it’s just not safe to have dangerous animals and teenage risk takers without a sensible influence. You need to find someone to go to the yard with you or find a busier yard where there are always people around.
 

Mrs. Jingle

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I have just remembered tho that when I was talking to YO about rules and what have you she stated she has been 'advised' to not allow under 16s there without adult supervision but that doesn't been it is a set in stone rule does it?

If that doesn't sound like and extremely immature mid teen's take on a rules and regulations then I don't know what does!

Perhaps when you are mentally more mature never mind the actual years you might find things aren't so bad. You have your own pony, you can visit him whenever you like, you can ride whenever you like so long as your mother has the time in her (probably) very busy life to supervise you, or another responsible adult.

I can think of a good few 14 year olds who would be completely overjoyed to have their own pony and also have it kept so close to home and would not bother one bit that they might have a few rules and regs to stick to.
 

Red-1

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Okay I admit I am the 14 year old I thought I would get better advice by pretending to be the mother.
Okay I do apologise I just thought people would take me more seriously if I acted as an adult!

You would have got great advice, adult or child, if you had been sensible in your replies. There have been some great 14 year olds on here who have been very mature. One of whom I had no idea was a child.

Sadly, even when you thought you were acting as an adult you were really identifiable as a child. I think many of us suspected.

I believe the YO is correct. I also think that you won't learn the most by doing it all yourself.

I have no idea who Dundry is, but yes that name comes up in the quote box when I just quoted you.
 

Pinkvboots

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I can totally understand you wanting to go and ride on your own I remember being 14, thing is just about anything could happen you just never know, I am 47 and a year ago I was schooling my horse whom I have owned for 13 years, so I pretty much know him inside out, I was just cantering along and he just falls over and ends up crushing my leg, luckily I was with somebody but had I been alone which I often am I would have been in trouble, but this kind of thing just goes to show no matter how you know your horse and how safe you feel anything can happen, I had to spend 3 nights in hospital and have surgery to fit a metal plate in my leg.
 
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KittenInTheTree

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I do understand this aspect of the rules. I think I should just obey to them for now and hopefully they may become a little more relaxed in the future.

Yes, I would estimate that in two or so years from now, the rules as they stand will indeed be less restrictive, OP. Mostly because you'll be sixteen.
 

Velcrobum

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Having just opened and read the thread my thoughts were confirmed and they are not generous thoughts either..................

OP rules tend to be rules for a reason you need to get used to them!!!
 

Crazy_cat_lady

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It is probably an insurance thing what if your daughter was riding and knocked unconscious she couldn't shout for help.

I'd also wonder if she's had a previous customer who left their child there all day and who saw her as a baby sitting service which would be fine if it's a more commercial yard eg riding school but not for someone's private yard.

Little surprised they didn't mention this rule when you were viewing especially if she was with you.
 

Crazy_cat_lady

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As it is, she won't be going up there at all on her own, as it is not allowed. Thinking back to the livery yard of my youth, would she not perhaps be happier in a bigger yard where there is more support and a social scene too? We used to help each other out, plus some liveries were also instructors. We had mini jumping competitions etc and it all added to the fun of having a pony. Even if it were further away, could she get a bus or ride her bike? My yard was an hour's walk away, or 30 minutes on a pedal bike, or the same on 2 buses. But, it was worth it for my independence.

That's a really good idea as a teenager you just want to be able to have fun she could have people you get to know and trust to hack out with it may get quite lonely and boring for her if she's on her own on a yard. When I first got my horse I used to ride with my friends when they loaned the rs horses or had a free ride and weren't part of a lesson and I had a lot more fun, like Red 1 we had jumping competitions/ read each other dressage tests think we even did the odd gymkhanah
 

Crazy_cat_lady

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Another possibility is what about the tack/ yard gates etc do you both have keys/ is it alarmed etc?

Yes your daughter may be very responsible and mature but what if the yo was off the yard could she be trusted to securely lock up the tack room, potentially containing other people's stuff and the yard gates? What if she got distracted by her phone as so many teens (and adults granted) can do and forgot?

I have to triple check when I've locked the yard gates after getting back from hacking if no one is there and fortunately I rarely need to lock the tack room as I'm usually there when yo is but I certainly feel the responsibility if I'm left to do that!! I'm good at worrying as well even if I know I've done it I'll get home and think did I definitely do it!!

If I had a daughter who moaned about having to ride supervised I'd tell her she is luckier than a lot of people her age as they don't have their own horses as their parents cant afford it or aren't interested
 

Rowreach

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Yes I think that's the problem with her 😂 maybe if I wasn't around then her little brother (who is 12) and he would quite happily watch her while shes riding. And he has a phone of his own so maybe that is a good option?

Seriously? She's a child, doing something quite risky, and you don't think she should have a competent adult present when she's riding?? It's not about her wants, it's about managing risk!

And what would your 12 year old son do if she came off and really hurt herself and needed immediate intervention before an ambulance got there? Would he be able to call an ambulance, perform CPR, catch a horse, all while potentially being frantic and terrified?

A rule like this is a good one. I don't think you're thinking this through, sorry.
 
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