New mare has gone wild.

There has been no misrepresentation here or wrongdoing by the seller. It seems the mare has just been sold to someone who lacks the experience or understanding to deal with an unsettled and hormonal mare in a completely new environment.

I would suggest asking the seller if she would like to take the mare back, not that she has any obligation to do so, for the poor mare's sake if anything.

I find the suggestion that the seller has somehow misrepresented or done something underhanded here to be quite appalling. They have done nothing wrong. Please keep in mind that horses are not robots. This mare has been removed from everything she has known and placed in a completely new system of management. I would suggest if you want something that works/behaves in exactly the same way regardless of environment, then buy your daughter a bike not a horse!
 
I wouldn't worry - my geriatric mare is currently experiencing a hard season which coupled with the fresh grass has turned her into a bargy, snorting, clingy, shouting, spooky dragon for the past week 🤣
Part of me secretly likes her like this, seeing that she still has a lot of spark about her 😁
Naf Oestress definitely helps her and isn't expensive.
 
From your other posts it appears you bought another pony 3 months ago, that you were still deciding whether or not to keep less than a month ago, because he wasn't filling your daughter with joy and confidence. You said he wasn't doing anything wrong exactly, just that the relationship wasn't working for you after 2 months of owning him.

Since then you must have spent barely 3 weeks doing all the running about of advertising, arranging viewings, selling him, sending him away, choosing this replacement, arranging a vetting and bringing her home. That's a whirlwind change around and a heck of a lot of stress for all concerned. I am guessing you and your daughter are as wound up as the mare at this point!

Did you put her in the other pony's old place, on the same yard? Do they know you there? How supportive are they? Do you have a good instructor who could help?

You've owned this new one for just over a week, during which time she will have seen a lot more of the yard staff than she has of you. At the moment to her you are just the stressed stranger who appears for a short time after your work in the evenings.

How do the yard staff that know her better find her to handle? Are they telling you they are worried about her?
Specifically, what is the horse actually doing which is dangerous? Does she bite, kick, rear, bolt?


Edited for lousy spelling!
 
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Gallop_Away said:
There has been no misrepresentation here or wrongdoing by the seller. It seems the mare has just been sold to someone who lacks the experience or understanding to deal with an unsettled and hormonal mare in a completely new environment.

I would suggest asking the seller if she would like to take the mare back, not that she has any obligation to do so, for the poor mare's sake if anything.

I find the suggestion that the seller has somehow misrepresented or done something underhanded here to be quite appalling. They have done nothing wrong. Please keep in mind that horses are not robots. This mare has been removed from everything she has known and placed in a completely new system of management. I would suggest if you want something that works/behaves in exactly the same way regardless of environment, then buy your daughter a bike not a horse!
Click to expand...

I don't think anyone is suggesting the seller has done anything wrong? Simply that the pony is behaving differently in a new environment, one which by the sounds of things was discussed with the seller prior to purchase. On that basis there are grounds to discuss the situation with the seller to see whether a resolution of any sort can be found.

I don't understand why there seem to be quite a few posts which direct negativity towards the OP. She hasn't posted that she thinks the seller has misrepresented the pony, just that she is in an unexpected situation and doesn't know what to do.

On the flip side, if a HHOer posted that they'd sold a horse who wasn't happy in a new home and the buyer was having problems, wouldn't everyone be saying to take the horse back and resell to a home the horse was happy in?
 
Indieanna6 said:
I wouldn't worry - my geriatric mare is currently experiencing a hard season which coupled with the fresh grass has turned her into a bargy, snorting, clingy, shouting, spooky dragon for the past week 🤣
Part of me secretly likes her like this, seeing that she still has a lot of spark about her 😁
Naf Oestress definitely helps her and isn't expensive.
Click to expand...
Oh my god, mine has been a nightmare for a week - totally wired and spooky out hacking! She’s a bit spooky anyway but she’s been a total dragon and jogging about everywhere. Glad it’s not just us experiencing spring grass excitement! This was my indicator to go back to summer feeding routine (ie just balancer and enough low cal chaff to slow her down from plaguing the others for their feed buckets).
 
PurpleSpots said:
I don't think anyone is suggesting the seller has done anything wrong? Simply that the pony is behaving differently in a new environment, one which by the sounds of things was discussed with the seller prior to purchase. On that basis there are grounds to discuss the situation with the seller to see whether a resolution of any sort can be found.

I don't understand why there seem to be quite a few posts which direct negativity towards the OP. She hasn't posted that she thinks the seller has misrepresented the pony, just that she is in an unexpected situation and doesn't know what to do.

On the flip side, if a HHOer posted that they'd sold a horse who wasn't happy in a new home and the buyer was having problems, wouldn't everyone be saying to take the horse back and resell to a home the horse was happy in?
Click to expand...

The OP seems to be suggesting the seller has done something wrong or why bring up "if I feel like she was misrepresented" 🤔

racmun said:
I my think my big worry is that I I feel like I need to return her and claim she was misrepresented then I need to do sooner rather than later and not be seen to accept any of her behaviour.

I've messaged the old Owner and she said it's just her hormones and back in the herd and she will settle etc.
She has suggested lunging before riding but tbh that isn't was I bought.

I queried the individual turnout on viewing and she said that is what their yard does. They were all in separate paddocks.

She said she so easy going, she can be left on her own etc etc. you go to shows and she doesn't charge. Right now I can't imagine taking her to a Show

She even came to our yard when we bought her and rode her in the school and down the lane to show she was well.behaved. my yard owner rang and spoke to he before purchase and asked loads of questions etc etc.

Something has triggered her behaviour but it's very worrying
Click to expand...

Also quite a few posters have suggested asking the seller to take the mare back, myself included, as the OP is clearly unable to handle the situation. However it is worth pointing out that the seller is not obligated to as they have not misrepresented the mare and it is a private sale.
 
Gallop_Away said:
The OP seems to be suggesting the seller has done something wrong....
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Ah, my apologies.

To be fair though, it is in the sense of 'if' I need to do this, rather than the tone of her posts on this thread being about how to make the seller take the pony back as she is convinced she was misadvertised. The OP simply does not know what she should do - and investigating whether you've bought the horse you thought you were buying is surely the first thing anyone does, regardless of experience, when something goes wrong?
 
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PurpleSpots said:
Ah, my apologies.

To be fair though, it is in the sense of 'if' I need to do this, rather than the tone of her posts on this thread being about how to make the seller take the pony back as she is convinced she was misadvertised. The OP simply does not know what she should do - and investigating whether you've bought the horse you thought you were buying is surely the first thing anyone does, regardless of experience, when something goes wrong?
Click to expand...

Fair enough but perhaps myself and others who have responded similarly are reading OPs replies differently. I think there has been a definite "tone" to her posts implying she feels the seller has misrepresented the pony.

I don't think that line of thinking is helpful to anyone in this situation, especially the poor mare.

If the OP is as out of her depth as it seems, then having an honest conversation with the seller is the best option, where the OP can admit that she feels unable to handle the situation, and not "you've mis-sold me a dangerous horse" as that will not be helpful to anyone. The seller may agree to take the mare back but the OP should be prepared that the seller may refuse, which they are entitled to do.

There is no point continuing with the line of thinking of "if she's been misrepresented" because that is not what has happened here, but rather a horse reacting differently in a new and completely different environment which the new owner is unable to manage appropriately.
 
I bought a kids pony once who turned out not as expected, again I did due diligence stalking the old owner.

It was only when I posted asking for advise on a local group that someone from a former livery yard contacted me and told me the truth.

I decided I didn’t want the hassle so he was sold with full disclosure AND copies of the vet report.
 
I think it’s a really useful lesson for a child that just because they have a pony doesn’t mean they can do what they want with it straight away, it isn’t a new bicycle (not saying child in this instance does, this is more general). I fully understand the safety concerns when kids are involved, but I wish now that when I was a child I had been surrounded by people who taught me to care more about the horses mental state, physical posture and nervous system regulation than about whether I could go for a hack or jump or whatever I wanted to do that day. I wish I had learned about herd dynamics and trigger stacking and separation anxiety. I would have had a childhood and young adulthood of happier horses who felt listened to and heard instead of used.

I have had one of my mares for 8 months now and the other for a year and they are still not fully settled, not 100%. They weren’t missold, but they weren’t prepared for change either. Both had been kept on individual turnout one was very young and the other old, they had learned to cope. The young one was overly needy, in your face and cuddly and now in company has separation anxiety, the other had shut down completely in her old home and now struggles socially, she either kicks or panics if horses come near. They both need time and understanding and the right company to feel safe in their new home. Yes, some days I think ‘this would be so much easier if your old owner would have you back’, but that puts them back in a cycle of change and instability. I’m lucky that I’m not on livery so can make changes and adapt things to make them feel more comfortable, and I also have the patience and empathy to carry on, despite some really hard days. And I fully appreciate the disappointment when you look at the current cost vs reward, my ‘cheap’ mare has also cost me nearly £9k in the last 8 months, and most of that is vets bills not purchase price. But she is a horse not a machine and she didn’t ask to come and live with me and have her happy life turned upside down. Much like with dog training, you have to try to reframe it from ‘she is giving you a hard time’ to ‘she is having a hard time’.
 
Was she living out full time in the previous home? You mention box walking now but was she ever stabled in the previous home?

Eta - asking as in process of starting to look to buy for myself, does misrepresentation count where it is a private sale rather than via a dealer?
 
I think you should run the bloods asap and see, it may well show nothing but if it does then you have grounds to go back to the seller definitely.

If nothing comes up then you just need to decide if you are willing to persevere and see how she is in a few weeks or sell her on..effectively she will be yours to sell unless the owner is willing to take her back. You’d have to put her on sales livery perhaps which would mean yet another move…

With kids and confidence issues I totally understand your fears, for me having been in your situation with a nervous child I totally get it! If your daughter is willing to wait it out a few more weeks you will have a lot more knowledge to go from x
 
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Was she living out full time in the previous home? You mention box walking now but was she ever stabled in the previous home?
SaddlePsych'D said:
Eta - asking as in process of starting to look to buy for myself, does misrepresentation count where it is a private sale rather than via a dealer?
Click to expand...
Private =not as described
Dealer=not fit for purpose

Quote fail!
 
Roughly where abouts in the country are you? If we know where, between the HHO community we can probably help recommend some ethical horse trainers and behaviourists to help - if you are South East, I can highly recommend one person in particular!

Yes, it sounds like the mare needs time to settle but it also sounds like yourself and your daughter could use some help understanding and gaining practical skills to help the mare settle and build a partnership based on two way trust. And there is zero shame or blame in that - a lot of us have been there!

It took my native quite some time to fully settle and although stressful at the time and not what I'd necessarily planned, it was the best thing that could have happened. Years later he's such a cool horse and building a solid foundation has made everything so much easier when it's baded on mutual trust and understanding - whether that's day to day handling, messing about riding in nothing but a headcollar or transferring that to more competitive disciplines.

Wishing you all the best of luck :)
 
We're based in Surrey so any recommendation are welcome.

The yard owner who is very experienced confirmed that she called and called all last night.

From reading the post on here I'm actually more worried and don't think this is just part of her settling in. She seems more unsettled now than 2 days after she arrived and particularly attached to one other mare.

As others have said separation anxiety can be difficult to manage. To be clear she wasn't kept in total isolation at her old yard. She was in a paddock with horses all round her but she couldn't interact with them per se. I was reassured by the owner that she was fine with other horses and she Ent me a photo of her grooming another horse.

I'v explained above my reasons for lunging her yesterday to try and eliminate any factors such as excess energy.

As soon as she came on the yard yesterday she was very distressed and calling. I appreciate some posters want to minimise what i've said but she is very very agitated

I was asking for advice and reassurance and my takeaways are that a. it can take months to resolve or I need to completely change our stable management which is totally unrealistic with work commitments b. daughter probably shouldn't expect to be able to ride or handle pony in this window of time and I should probably just return her to the owner and lose what I paid for her.

NOt what I was expecting when I bought a 'one in a million' family pony ,😢
 
The thing is there is no guarantee that you will actually be able to return her/it might be a legal fight to do so unless the previous owner has offered.

Realistically here you are getting the experiences of many people moving their own horses (so not even new to them) and watching their horses struggle. Some can move and be fine, some are a lot more sensitive. I had to promise my new YO my own gelding wouldn’t always be like he was for the first month and being a mare adds an extra layer of complication.
 
I don't know if this may help or be an option to even try as i accept that being on a livery yard is very different and you have to comply with rules etc.

When I had mine with terrible seperation anxiety I did take him away completely from the herd. He was unable to even see the others. Then we found a pony who was retired (so never ever taken away from him) but who was also very chilled and non bothered by other horses, he would never call back. They saw only each other for a few weeks. I was then able to return the pair of them to the others and as long as his pony was around there was no longer any panic. He soon learned that even if he came in to be ridden or whatever that his pony would be right there waiting when he got back.
He was never completely easy, hacking alone was bit of a mission but life was bearable for all of us.

I do feel for you though because its not a fun thing to have to deal with.


Edited to say that sounds like there was a gap between the seperating and getting the pony- There wasnt!
 
racmun said:
We're based in Surrey so any recommendation are welcome.

The yard owner who is very experienced confirmed that she called and called all last night.

From reading the post on here I'm actually more worried and don't think this is just part of her settling in. She seems more unsettled now than 2 days after she arrived and particularly attached to one other mare.

As others have said separation anxiety can be difficult to manage. To be clear she wasn't kept in total isolation at her old yard. She was in a paddock with horses all round her but she couldn't interact with them per se. I was reassured by the owner that she was fine with other horses and she Ent me a photo of her grooming another horse.

I'v explained above my reasons for lunging her yesterday to try and eliminate any factors such as excess energy.

As soon as she came on the yard yesterday she was very distressed and calling. I appreciate some posters want to minimise what i've said but she is very very agitated

I was asking for advice and reassurance and my takeaways are that a. it can take months to resolve or I need to completely change our stable management which is totally unrealistic with work commitments b. daughter probably shouldn't expect to be able to ride or handle pony in this window of time and I should probably just return her to the owner and lose what I paid for her.

NOt what I was expecting when I bought a 'one in a million' family pony ,😢
Click to expand...
You have my sympathy and if old owner will take her back and refund some money then that sounds like your easiest route and quickest solution.

Buying horses and ponies is a minefield and I get that she's not what you were hoping for but I think the seller couldn't have predicted this much upset and your research doesn't suggest anything untoward.
Sometimes it just doesn't work out and sometimes you have the time and skills to make it work. It's the luck of the draw.

Maybe talk to your PC DC and see if there is a LWVTB next time. We loaned my daughter wonderful (eventually🤣) pony to a nice local family. They were reasonably experienced with horses but not with firey little mares. She hated them! I took her back quickly as she behaved appallingly. She was perfect as soon as she came home.
 
racmun said:
We're based in Surrey so any recommendation are welcome.

The yard owner who is very experienced confirmed that she called and called all last night.

From reading the post on here I'm actually more worried and don't think this is just part of her settling in. She seems more unsettled now than 2 days after she arrived and particularly attached to one other mare.

As others have said separation anxiety can be difficult to manage. To be clear she wasn't kept in total isolation at her old yard. She was in a paddock with horses all round her but she couldn't interact with them per se. I was reassured by the owner that she was fine with other horses and she Ent me a photo of her grooming another horse.

I'v explained above my reasons for lunging her yesterday to try and eliminate any factors such as excess energy.

As soon as she came on the yard yesterday she was very distressed and calling. I appreciate some posters want to minimise what i've said but she is very very agitated

I was asking for advice and reassurance and my takeaways are that a. it can take months to resolve or I need to completely change our stable management which is totally unrealistic with work commitments b. daughter probably shouldn't expect to be able to ride or handle pony in this window of time and I should probably just return her to the owner and lose what I paid for her.

NOt what I was expecting when I bought a 'one in a million' family pony ,😢
Click to expand...
Sorry if I have missed elsewhere but was she stabled at all in the previous home or out all of the time?
 
Im afraid that, as you have no doubt guessed, I have far more sympathy with the mare than with you BUT I feel that you were badly advised by whoever recommended that you buy this pony.
It is always best to buy a child's pony from a very similar set-up to the one you can provide.
Your yard has herd turnout, which is far preferable for most equines to individual but an experienced person should have recognised that the pony could well exhibit separation anxiety to a greater or lesser extent.
If I had owned her prior to you, I would take her back and refund the cost, less any transport fees but not everyone is in a position to be able to do so.
racmun said:
We're based in Surrey so any recommendation are welcome.

The yard owner who is very experienced confirmed that she called and called all last night.

From reading the post on here I'm actually more worried and don't think this is just part of her settling in. She seems more unsettled now than 2 days after she arrived and particularly attached to one other mare.

As others have said separation anxiety can be difficult to manage. To be clear she wasn't kept in total isolation at her old yard. She was in a paddock with horses all round her but she couldn't interact with them per se. I was reassured by the owner that she was fine with other horses and she Ent me a photo of her grooming another horse.

I'v explained above my reasons for lunging her yesterday to try and eliminate any factors such as excess energy.

As soon as she came on the yard yesterday she was very distressed and calling. I appreciate some posters want to minimise what i've said but she is very very agitated

I was asking for advice and reassurance and my takeaways are that a. it can take months to resolve or I need to completely change our stable management which is totally unrealistic with work commitments b. daughter probably shouldn't expect to be able to ride or handle pony in this window of time and I should probably just return her to the owner and lose what I paid for her.

NOt what I was expecting when I bought a 'one in a million' family pony ,😢
Click to expand...
 
racmun said:
We're based in Surrey so any recommendation are welcome.

The yard owner who is very experienced confirmed that she called and called all last night.

From reading the post on here I'm actually more worried and don't think this is just part of her settling in. She seems more unsettled now than 2 days after she arrived and particularly attached to one other mare.

As others have said separation anxiety can be difficult to manage. To be clear she wasn't kept in total isolation at her old yard. She was in a paddock with horses all round her but she couldn't interact with them per se. I was reassured by the owner that she was fine with other horses and she Ent me a photo of her grooming another horse.

I'v explained above my reasons for lunging her yesterday to try and eliminate any factors such as excess energy.

As soon as she came on the yard yesterday she was very distressed and calling. I appreciate some posters want to minimise what i've said but she is very very agitated

I was asking for advice and reassurance and my takeaways are that a. it can take months to resolve or I need to completely change our stable management which is totally unrealistic with work commitments b. daughter probably shouldn't expect to be able to ride or handle pony in this window of time and I should probably just return her to the owner and lose what I paid for her.

NOt what I was expecting when I bought a 'one in a million' family pony ,😢
Click to expand...


experienced YO confirmed that she was calling.......but aside from noise was she actually causing any problems?

very very agitated ie calling, pawing, fidgeting, spinning, wont stand still OR rearing, kicking out, pulling away in hand etc???? absolute world of difference between what a fairly novice owner is going to find tricky and what more experienced people will shrug off (again for context one of our young stallions ran a knee deep trench in the field fence walking and threated to flip over if tied up...............which we totally ignored as we knew he would grow out of it and settle)

you want everyone to agree this pony is in some way dangerous but it really doesnt sound like she is sorry.
 
The yard owner is concerned about her behaviour yes especially as she seems to be getting a bit worse everyday.

I'm not actually a novice horse owner had them for 25 years but really doubt myself so wanted to ask for advice.

She was living out at the old yard but her advert said thar she can and has lived in previously. I double checked with the owner as well.

I've messaged her old owner and she can't take her back as she has no space.

Such a shame for the pony as if she doesn't settle and continues with how she is (hopefully won't 🤞🏼🤞🏼) then I'll probably have to send her on sales livery somewhere which is going to be even more disruptive and unsettling for her.

I'm starting her on oestress but I fear it's a separation anxiety issue rather than a 'mare' issue.
 
racmun said:
The yard owner is concerned about her behaviour yes especially as she seems to be getting a bit worse everyday.

I'm not actually a novice horse owner had them for 25 years but really doubt myself so wanted to ask for advice.

She was living out at the old yard but her advert said thar she can and has lived in previously. I double checked with the owner as well.

I've messaged her old owner and she can't take her back as she has no space.

Such a shame for the pony as if she doesn't settle and continues with how she is (hopefully won't 🤞🏼🤞🏼) then I'll probably have to send her on sales livery somewhere which is going to be even more disruptive and unsettling for her.

I'm starting her on oestress but I fear it's a separation anxiety issue rather than a 'mare' issue.
Click to expand...
So you knew she was used to living out on individual turnout with other equines nearby and decided to buy her to bring back to be in a herd with overnight stabling?
And expected her to be settled enough for a nervous child to ride?
 
The point is though she is meant to be a safe kids pony to ride and handle.

Regardless of what an experienced adult owner may or may not shrug off a 14h cob pawing, spinning , calling and fidgeting is not to my mind safe for a child to handle

Similarly trying to take her for a walk down the lane where she starts jogging and calling to get back home is again not what we viewed and certainly not what we thought we were buying.
 
racmun said:
I was reassured by the owner that she had been on loan before and had no trouble before whatsoever with changing to overnight stabling and settling. I specifically asked the question before purchase
Click to expand...
Perhaps you have learned the very important lesson that people selling horses don't always tell the absolute truth. I suggest never taking someone's word for something that you can't personally verify. But then, I have Over 50 yrs horse-buying and owning experience.
 
racmun said:
The point is though she is meant to be a safe kids pony to ride and handle.

Regardless of what an experienced adult owner may or may not shrug off a 14h cob pawing, spinning , calling and fidgeting is not to my mind safe for a child to handle

Similarly trying to take her for a walk down the lane where she starts jogging and calling to get back home is again not what we viewed and certainly not what we thought we were buying.
Click to expand...

No horse is perfect! I have one who I would class as as near to bombproof as cab be but they are not robots and you can never 100% know how they will react in a new and different situation.

It is the risk you take with horses unfortunately.
 
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